Olympic fans have certainly been treated to some mighty impressive stuff when it comes to the divers. No, not the ones in the NBA or NHL who go down faking agony every time an opponent breathes on them. I'm talking about the real divers. The boys and girls that jump into the deep end of the pool.
It's almost unbelievable what they can do. I highly salute these athletes for the years of dedication, skill, and perseverance that are required to reach the level of near perfection they are capable of. But be honest. After a while, after you've seen a whole slew of somersaults and twists -- doesn't it get a little boring?
Much has been said about the competitors assuming the "pike" position during the course of some of their dives. That shouldn't be too tough, considering all the divers seem to have the bodies of REAL pikes. The game fish. Both glide through the water and are bony. They also seem to have the same look in their eyes once they're hauled out of the water -- but I could be wrong about that.
Nevertheless, the diving competition would get a lot more entertaining if the people in charge of the Olympics used their imagination.
Sumo diving. The big fellas. Sumo wrestling's not an Olympic sport, but how fun would it be to see those same guys in their thongs jumping into the pool? Forget the springboard competition because they'd snap that off like a twig. Put them up on the high platform, and nevermind the somersaults and fancy twists. A "cannonball" contest. Consider 500-600 pound men plunging into a pool after having jumped from 3 stories up. Sure, a mini-tsunami would wash up into the crowd -- but how entertaining would THAT be to watch? Even the judging would be simple. Instead of all the technical junk average diving fans don't understand anyway -- the scoring could be solely based on how many gallons of water it took to refill the pool after any one guy's plunge. Whoever displaces the most water takes the gold.
Yes, the Olympics are supposed to be about the most highly skilled athletes from around the world getting together to see who's the best. But what would be the harm in throwing in a new wrinkle here or there to make it infinitely more entertaining to the viewers?
Tell me you wouldn't watch that, and I won't believe you. It would probably have the highest TV ratings of any event in the entire Olympiad.
One thing, though. Like any other contest, there would be 3 medal winners.
It might just be a good idea to reinforce the podium they will eventually stand upon.
There's a difference between pikes and whales.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012
Opening the vault. Olympians and yorkies
Just when I tuned into the Olympics for another night of action, I saw something go across the screen saying the women's pole vault would be featured. Really? I didn't even know the ladies did that, much less it was an Olympic event. This I had to see.
Turns out it was a mistake. The "vault" was the same piece of gymnastic equipment that the ladies have been competing on for a few days now. You know, the thing that looks something like the pommel horse the men use -- but without the handles?
I thought all that stuff was over. After all the ladies went through the various disciplines in the gymnastics competition, the "team" medals had been awarded, as had the individual all-around honors. Everybody's done everything. What else could be left? Oops. They still have to compete yet again in a few individual events, for even more medals. Silly me. I should have known. When it comes to the Olympics, they find a way to hand out more medals than are distributed in your average World War.
At that, the ladies doing the "vault" weren't that impressive. One landed on her belly, another on her butt, and a few others botched their routines in various ways.
I see better performances than that every day -- right here at home -- live and in person.
It involves two 5-month old yorkie puppies. They'll get a running head start, use a piece of furniture as a springboard, do a few flips and twists in mid-air, and always "stick" their landing. Perfect 10's every time.
On either side of me when I sit down to dinner.
Nope, the lady Olympian vaulters have nothing on those two.
Turns out it was a mistake. The "vault" was the same piece of gymnastic equipment that the ladies have been competing on for a few days now. You know, the thing that looks something like the pommel horse the men use -- but without the handles?
I thought all that stuff was over. After all the ladies went through the various disciplines in the gymnastics competition, the "team" medals had been awarded, as had the individual all-around honors. Everybody's done everything. What else could be left? Oops. They still have to compete yet again in a few individual events, for even more medals. Silly me. I should have known. When it comes to the Olympics, they find a way to hand out more medals than are distributed in your average World War.
At that, the ladies doing the "vault" weren't that impressive. One landed on her belly, another on her butt, and a few others botched their routines in various ways.
I see better performances than that every day -- right here at home -- live and in person.
It involves two 5-month old yorkie puppies. They'll get a running head start, use a piece of furniture as a springboard, do a few flips and twists in mid-air, and always "stick" their landing. Perfect 10's every time.
On either side of me when I sit down to dinner.
Nope, the lady Olympian vaulters have nothing on those two.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Cliff Avril. Legend in his own mind
Defensive lineman Cliff Avril finally decided to report to the Detroit Lions' training camp. He acts like he's giving the team, and their fans, a break by his mere presence. He's not. This guy is more overrated than pet rocks or cabbage patch dolls ever were, and his ego appears to rival that of Donald Trump. Let's look at reality.
During his short NFL career, Avril's been a decent lineman. Nothing spectacular, but serviceable. Last year he made about $2.6 million, and had 11 QB sacks, which led the team in that department. Yet when one considers a couple other factors, his 11 sacks aren't quite the eye-popping statistic some would make them out to be.
First, he was playing alongside a guy named Ndamukong Suh. Suh regularly drew "double teams" blocking him, which left Avril and the other linemen "one on one". Second, the NFL itself has turned "pass-happy" over the last few years. That means more chances to rush the QB and put him on the ground. Avril got there 11 times -- less than once a game. This is supposed to be impressive?
Evidently, in Avril's mind it was. When the season was over he wanted a long term mega-buck contract. The Lions balked, as well they should have. Avril stewed and went on a not so quiet campaign trying to sway the media and fans that he was as good as he thought he was. Negotiations reached an impasse.
Then, in a stunning development this last March, the Lions slapped the "franchise" tag on Avril. Cliff grumbled. He was not a happy camper.
It's hard to say which was worse. The Lions wasting the franchise tag on an average lineman, or that lineman being disappointed in getting it. The former sounds like something Matt Millen would have done. The latter more like an ego maniacal fool that is still ungrateful after he won the lotto.
With the franchise tag, Avril's salary was determined by the average of the 5 top salaries at his position. He's going to make about $10.6 million this year -- roughly 4 times what he made in 2011. Do you know anybody that would be unhappy with having their salary quadrupled after they put in an average year on the job? Not me.
Avril's certainly not amongst the top 5 defensive linemen in the NFL. He's probably not even in the top 30. There's likely other NFL teams around the league he couldn't even START for. But Avril's still unhappy. Alas, and boo hoo hoo. Let's all have a good cry over poor Cliffy's misfortune.
As mentioned at the top of this article, His Highness finally relented and lowered himself to report to training camp. You know -- like actually showing up on the job to earn one's pay? Imagine that.
His reasons for waiting until the eleventh hour to do such a thing don't hold water. Avril says he didn't want to risk injury. Hey, earth to Cliff. You're in the NFL. People get hurt all the time. It goes with the territory. If that's not acceptable, perhaps you should pursue another career. Take up chess, become a librarian, find a cure for cancer, or maybe try your hand at synchronized swimming. Even I'd pay big bucks to see your legs twirling around in the pool with the rest of the girls, but good luck earning that $10.6 M that was just handed to you on a silver platter.
But the real reason should be obvious. We've seen it so many times over the years with various other players around the NFL that think they're more important than they really are, and have done the same thing. While all their teammates, from the rookies, to the longer tenured veterans that are truly committed to the team, are out there busting their butts in the sweltering heat of "training camp", the prima donnas lay back and ease in at the last second, avoiding a lot of hard work while knowing their spot is secure. It's the same way with Avril since he got the franchise tag. He's "uncuttable" -- and he knows it.
But he's WAY overrated.
Especially in his own mind.
During his short NFL career, Avril's been a decent lineman. Nothing spectacular, but serviceable. Last year he made about $2.6 million, and had 11 QB sacks, which led the team in that department. Yet when one considers a couple other factors, his 11 sacks aren't quite the eye-popping statistic some would make them out to be.
First, he was playing alongside a guy named Ndamukong Suh. Suh regularly drew "double teams" blocking him, which left Avril and the other linemen "one on one". Second, the NFL itself has turned "pass-happy" over the last few years. That means more chances to rush the QB and put him on the ground. Avril got there 11 times -- less than once a game. This is supposed to be impressive?
Evidently, in Avril's mind it was. When the season was over he wanted a long term mega-buck contract. The Lions balked, as well they should have. Avril stewed and went on a not so quiet campaign trying to sway the media and fans that he was as good as he thought he was. Negotiations reached an impasse.
Then, in a stunning development this last March, the Lions slapped the "franchise" tag on Avril. Cliff grumbled. He was not a happy camper.
It's hard to say which was worse. The Lions wasting the franchise tag on an average lineman, or that lineman being disappointed in getting it. The former sounds like something Matt Millen would have done. The latter more like an ego maniacal fool that is still ungrateful after he won the lotto.
With the franchise tag, Avril's salary was determined by the average of the 5 top salaries at his position. He's going to make about $10.6 million this year -- roughly 4 times what he made in 2011. Do you know anybody that would be unhappy with having their salary quadrupled after they put in an average year on the job? Not me.
Avril's certainly not amongst the top 5 defensive linemen in the NFL. He's probably not even in the top 30. There's likely other NFL teams around the league he couldn't even START for. But Avril's still unhappy. Alas, and boo hoo hoo. Let's all have a good cry over poor Cliffy's misfortune.
As mentioned at the top of this article, His Highness finally relented and lowered himself to report to training camp. You know -- like actually showing up on the job to earn one's pay? Imagine that.
His reasons for waiting until the eleventh hour to do such a thing don't hold water. Avril says he didn't want to risk injury. Hey, earth to Cliff. You're in the NFL. People get hurt all the time. It goes with the territory. If that's not acceptable, perhaps you should pursue another career. Take up chess, become a librarian, find a cure for cancer, or maybe try your hand at synchronized swimming. Even I'd pay big bucks to see your legs twirling around in the pool with the rest of the girls, but good luck earning that $10.6 M that was just handed to you on a silver platter.
But the real reason should be obvious. We've seen it so many times over the years with various other players around the NFL that think they're more important than they really are, and have done the same thing. While all their teammates, from the rookies, to the longer tenured veterans that are truly committed to the team, are out there busting their butts in the sweltering heat of "training camp", the prima donnas lay back and ease in at the last second, avoiding a lot of hard work while knowing their spot is secure. It's the same way with Avril since he got the franchise tag. He's "uncuttable" -- and he knows it.
But he's WAY overrated.
Especially in his own mind.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Ryan Braun revisited
What a difference a year makes. Or maybe not. Baseball fans know that Ryan Braun of the Milwaukee Brewers was the National League's MVP last year. Then the bottom fell out -- sort of.
Long after the 2011 season was over, Braun was informed that a urine sample he had provided weeks before had come back positive for elevated levels of testosterone. It was not only elevated, but "insanely high", according to a source at the time. More than twice as high as any other sample previously tested -- EVER. (It should be noted that no steroids of any kind were detected -- just testosterone). Red flags went up and Braun was looking at a 50 game suspension in line with Major League Baseball's new "get tough" drug policy.
While Braun professed his innocence, saying some sort of mistake must have occurred, the court of public opinion quickly turned on him. "Fine him. Suspend him. Ban him. Throw da bum out", they howled. It seems nowadays that as soon as a person is accused of something -- everybody turns into a prosecutor. He/she got accused of it -- must be guilty. Nevermind the only things they base their conclusions on might not have any basis in fact whatsover. All that matters to the hordes of knee-jerkers is the gospel of the boob tube, the internet, newspaper columnists, and maybe what Bubba at the bar thinks about it. Most times they collectively don't know diddly either, but are merely trying to draw attention to themselves. In their typical rush to judgement, getting it right doesn't matter as much as ratings, hits, readers, and street cred. It happens every time there's a "juicy" story. Even if they totally botch it, another "nugget" will come along soon enough, and everybody will forget. They don't care. No skin off their noses.
But in the meantime, they've stirred up the colossal hornet's nest of idiots. "Warm up the tar and start plucking the chickens. We want justice -- dammit." No doubt the real prosecutors love it, but that doesn't make it right. In fact, it's scary. If you were wrongly accused of something, would you want to be facing the same firestorm? I don't think so. Arm-chair quarterbacking is easy. It takes on a whole new meaning when you're the one on the field getting hammered.
As the Braun saga raged on, it became all about how his urine sample was handled, chain of custody, whether it could have been tampered with, etc. In the end, whether or not Braun got suspended for 50 games, and his reputation even further tarnished, came down to three people. A representative from Major League Baseball (the prosecutor), a representative from the Players' Union (the defense attorney), and an impartial arbiter (the judge). After all the hoopla, it was basically reduced to a bench trial. No jury. The judge decides.
She did, in favor of Braun. Howls of protest went up. "He's dirty and got off on a technicality", they cried. "Just wait and see what happens to him next year when he has to play clean", they gloated.
Well, let's see. In 2011, Braun played in 150 games. 187 hits, 33 home runs, 111 RBIs, a batting average of .332 and a slugging % of .597.
So far this year, he's played in about 100 games, is batting .316, 119 hits, 29 home runs, 73 RBIs, and a slugging % of .609. Just like last year, Braun's amongst the leaders in the NL in most offensive statistical categories. And does anyone doubt he's being tested often, and for every substance imaginable?
In Braun's roughly 5 and a half years in the big leagues, he's hit over 30 home runs every year but one (2010, when he had a measly 25), only once had less than 100 RBIs (his rookie season when he got a mere 97), and has a career batting average of .312.
I see a pattern here. The dude can flat-out hit.
But still, in the minds of many, that supposedly testosterone laden urine sample will always be a thorn of contention.
Thing is, in their misguided blood-lust to tie Ryan Braun to the whipping post last year, the hypsters conveniently overlooked one small detail.
Turns out, when Braun's back-up, or "B sample" was finally tested -- it came back totally normal. Clean as a whistle.
Funny how that little tidbit was never sensationalized like the original accusation was. Of course, by then, the hounds were on the scent of Roger Clemens, or whatever other quarry they could prey upon. Hounds are good at what they do -- but they have short memories -- and no consciences. Hounds don't apologize when they get carried away and maim an innocent animal. A couple minutes later, they're ready for another hunt.
Ryan Braun is certainly in the hunt for another MVP award this year. If he keeps hitting like he always has, it's a very real possibility.
I hope he gets it. After the meat grinder he's been through, and so many wanting to see him fall flat on his face this year -- it would truly be justice served the way it should be. Cold.
Long after the 2011 season was over, Braun was informed that a urine sample he had provided weeks before had come back positive for elevated levels of testosterone. It was not only elevated, but "insanely high", according to a source at the time. More than twice as high as any other sample previously tested -- EVER. (It should be noted that no steroids of any kind were detected -- just testosterone). Red flags went up and Braun was looking at a 50 game suspension in line with Major League Baseball's new "get tough" drug policy.
While Braun professed his innocence, saying some sort of mistake must have occurred, the court of public opinion quickly turned on him. "Fine him. Suspend him. Ban him. Throw da bum out", they howled. It seems nowadays that as soon as a person is accused of something -- everybody turns into a prosecutor. He/she got accused of it -- must be guilty. Nevermind the only things they base their conclusions on might not have any basis in fact whatsover. All that matters to the hordes of knee-jerkers is the gospel of the boob tube, the internet, newspaper columnists, and maybe what Bubba at the bar thinks about it. Most times they collectively don't know diddly either, but are merely trying to draw attention to themselves. In their typical rush to judgement, getting it right doesn't matter as much as ratings, hits, readers, and street cred. It happens every time there's a "juicy" story. Even if they totally botch it, another "nugget" will come along soon enough, and everybody will forget. They don't care. No skin off their noses.
But in the meantime, they've stirred up the colossal hornet's nest of idiots. "Warm up the tar and start plucking the chickens. We want justice -- dammit." No doubt the real prosecutors love it, but that doesn't make it right. In fact, it's scary. If you were wrongly accused of something, would you want to be facing the same firestorm? I don't think so. Arm-chair quarterbacking is easy. It takes on a whole new meaning when you're the one on the field getting hammered.
As the Braun saga raged on, it became all about how his urine sample was handled, chain of custody, whether it could have been tampered with, etc. In the end, whether or not Braun got suspended for 50 games, and his reputation even further tarnished, came down to three people. A representative from Major League Baseball (the prosecutor), a representative from the Players' Union (the defense attorney), and an impartial arbiter (the judge). After all the hoopla, it was basically reduced to a bench trial. No jury. The judge decides.
She did, in favor of Braun. Howls of protest went up. "He's dirty and got off on a technicality", they cried. "Just wait and see what happens to him next year when he has to play clean", they gloated.
Well, let's see. In 2011, Braun played in 150 games. 187 hits, 33 home runs, 111 RBIs, a batting average of .332 and a slugging % of .597.
So far this year, he's played in about 100 games, is batting .316, 119 hits, 29 home runs, 73 RBIs, and a slugging % of .609. Just like last year, Braun's amongst the leaders in the NL in most offensive statistical categories. And does anyone doubt he's being tested often, and for every substance imaginable?
In Braun's roughly 5 and a half years in the big leagues, he's hit over 30 home runs every year but one (2010, when he had a measly 25), only once had less than 100 RBIs (his rookie season when he got a mere 97), and has a career batting average of .312.
I see a pattern here. The dude can flat-out hit.
But still, in the minds of many, that supposedly testosterone laden urine sample will always be a thorn of contention.
Thing is, in their misguided blood-lust to tie Ryan Braun to the whipping post last year, the hypsters conveniently overlooked one small detail.
Turns out, when Braun's back-up, or "B sample" was finally tested -- it came back totally normal. Clean as a whistle.
Funny how that little tidbit was never sensationalized like the original accusation was. Of course, by then, the hounds were on the scent of Roger Clemens, or whatever other quarry they could prey upon. Hounds are good at what they do -- but they have short memories -- and no consciences. Hounds don't apologize when they get carried away and maim an innocent animal. A couple minutes later, they're ready for another hunt.
Ryan Braun is certainly in the hunt for another MVP award this year. If he keeps hitting like he always has, it's a very real possibility.
I hope he gets it. After the meat grinder he's been through, and so many wanting to see him fall flat on his face this year -- it would truly be justice served the way it should be. Cold.
Caustic Olympic satire
Warning. While the following is intended as a spoof, it contains language and references that may be offensive to some readers. For those of the "thin-skinned" or "politically correct" variety, it is suggested you stop right here, and perhaps watch an old Disney movie, or maybe check out another blog about kittens or puppies. It's time to play hardball.
Michael Phelps is a great swimmer, probably the best of all time so far. His total Olympic medal count over the course of 3 Olympiads would certainly reflect that. I rooted for him. Go, Michael, go. But how much is enough? Seeing that same mug on the TV over and over again gets irritating after a while. No, not Michael -- his mom. Whenever her boy wins a race, the TV cameras zoom in on her and she acts like she just got the OK to pass through St. Peter's gates. The first couple go-rounds I can understand, due to the thrill of it all, but when it gets up to the 10th, 15th, or maybe 20th time, the same old shtick, knowing she's going to be on camera, starts to get really old.
She's not the only one. There's lots of moms that get air time. Americans only, of course. Even though the Olympics are in London, we'll never see a mom of a foreign athlete that just won a gold medal. This is an international event. Shouldn't they count too?
Yet, when it comes to some of the American moms, I can see why their kids are so slim and trim. They don't get any food at home. Mom's eating it all. Have you seen the size of some of those women? It's a good thing they're not tigers, or the future Olympians they spawned might never have made it. They would have been eaten when mom's munchies ran low.
And what's up with the American female swimmers anyway? They glide through the water like torpedoes, and pretty much have a build to match. This is a good thing for lady swimmers. Maybe not so good when men size them up romantically later in life. But when they pop up out of the water after any race and smile -- they all have exactly the same set of teeth. From incisors, to canines, to bicuspids, to molars, forensic scientists would have their hands full trying to tell them apart. It's like they all came from the same mold. Amazing.
An American woman pulled off a huge upset and won a gold medal in judo. She competed in the 78 kilogram weight class. How nice. Translated, that means she weighed in at over 170 pounds. Why not just say it like it is? This was a big girl, that's really good at throwing other big girls around. In woman-speak, what would they tell us next? Her shoe size is five centimeters? Please. I wonder how big HER mom is?
American Gabrielle Douglas won the the gold medal as the best over-all female gymnast, a very impressive feat. Get ready for the Gabby blitz, because it's coming. She's the first black, or in the case of the United States, first "African-American" to win that particular medal. Makers of various products will be falling all over each other trying to get Gabby to endorse their wares, while showering her with money. She hadn't even left London yet and Oprah Winfrey was offering Ms. Douglas her own TV reality show. Fair question -- do you think Oprah would have done that if Gabby was white, or Hispanic, or oriental, or anything but African-American? I highly doubt it. Make of that what you will. Gabby has the nickname "Flying Squirrel", reminiscent of Rocky in the old Bullwinkle cartoons. A skinny little thing gracefully flying around everywhere. When they showed her mom, it didn't appear like she'd missed any meals in a while. Gabby has already been shown holding up a box of a Kellogg cereal product. Gee, between her and her mom, I wonder who's going to scarf down more free Frosted Flakes in the near future?
Now the track and field events have started. Some of those athletes, such as the 100 meter dashers, are wound up tighter than Joan Rivers' new face. One never knows what might happen with all that when they get turned loose. Everything could be just fine, or it could self destruct into something hideous in the next 10 seconds. It's almost scary to watch. I'm pretty sure we won't be seeing Joan's mom on camera, but what of the boys and girls that are competing in the various track and field events? If they win -- will we see more shots of moms front and center on NBC? Will they have a flag in one hand, a couple twinkies in the other, and a jumbo triple buttered popcorn between their legs?
Beats me. Stay tuned.
Michael Phelps is a great swimmer, probably the best of all time so far. His total Olympic medal count over the course of 3 Olympiads would certainly reflect that. I rooted for him. Go, Michael, go. But how much is enough? Seeing that same mug on the TV over and over again gets irritating after a while. No, not Michael -- his mom. Whenever her boy wins a race, the TV cameras zoom in on her and she acts like she just got the OK to pass through St. Peter's gates. The first couple go-rounds I can understand, due to the thrill of it all, but when it gets up to the 10th, 15th, or maybe 20th time, the same old shtick, knowing she's going to be on camera, starts to get really old.
She's not the only one. There's lots of moms that get air time. Americans only, of course. Even though the Olympics are in London, we'll never see a mom of a foreign athlete that just won a gold medal. This is an international event. Shouldn't they count too?
Yet, when it comes to some of the American moms, I can see why their kids are so slim and trim. They don't get any food at home. Mom's eating it all. Have you seen the size of some of those women? It's a good thing they're not tigers, or the future Olympians they spawned might never have made it. They would have been eaten when mom's munchies ran low.
And what's up with the American female swimmers anyway? They glide through the water like torpedoes, and pretty much have a build to match. This is a good thing for lady swimmers. Maybe not so good when men size them up romantically later in life. But when they pop up out of the water after any race and smile -- they all have exactly the same set of teeth. From incisors, to canines, to bicuspids, to molars, forensic scientists would have their hands full trying to tell them apart. It's like they all came from the same mold. Amazing.
An American woman pulled off a huge upset and won a gold medal in judo. She competed in the 78 kilogram weight class. How nice. Translated, that means she weighed in at over 170 pounds. Why not just say it like it is? This was a big girl, that's really good at throwing other big girls around. In woman-speak, what would they tell us next? Her shoe size is five centimeters? Please. I wonder how big HER mom is?
American Gabrielle Douglas won the the gold medal as the best over-all female gymnast, a very impressive feat. Get ready for the Gabby blitz, because it's coming. She's the first black, or in the case of the United States, first "African-American" to win that particular medal. Makers of various products will be falling all over each other trying to get Gabby to endorse their wares, while showering her with money. She hadn't even left London yet and Oprah Winfrey was offering Ms. Douglas her own TV reality show. Fair question -- do you think Oprah would have done that if Gabby was white, or Hispanic, or oriental, or anything but African-American? I highly doubt it. Make of that what you will. Gabby has the nickname "Flying Squirrel", reminiscent of Rocky in the old Bullwinkle cartoons. A skinny little thing gracefully flying around everywhere. When they showed her mom, it didn't appear like she'd missed any meals in a while. Gabby has already been shown holding up a box of a Kellogg cereal product. Gee, between her and her mom, I wonder who's going to scarf down more free Frosted Flakes in the near future?
Now the track and field events have started. Some of those athletes, such as the 100 meter dashers, are wound up tighter than Joan Rivers' new face. One never knows what might happen with all that when they get turned loose. Everything could be just fine, or it could self destruct into something hideous in the next 10 seconds. It's almost scary to watch. I'm pretty sure we won't be seeing Joan's mom on camera, but what of the boys and girls that are competing in the various track and field events? If they win -- will we see more shots of moms front and center on NBC? Will they have a flag in one hand, a couple twinkies in the other, and a jumbo triple buttered popcorn between their legs?
Beats me. Stay tuned.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Counting Olympic medals. Fair?
Last time I looked the USA and China were running neck and neck in total Olympic medals won, with China several ahead in "golds". Any athlete winning "silver" or "bronze" should rightfully feel proud as well, because being 2nd or 3rd best in the world at ANYTHING is quite an accomplishment. But let's be brutally honest. Like horse races or the recently concluded Tour de France, those that "place" and "show" are quickly forgotten. Quick, who was the runner-up in this year's Indy or Daytona 500? See what I mean?
Thing is, the medal count is skewed in a way.
China and the USA are both very formidable nations which go about backing their Olympic teams in different ways. Yet they have similarities. For example, the best gymnasts likely all train in the same top-notch facility, with the best coaches, as do the swimmers and divers in an equally impressive facility of their own. As countries with so many athletes to choose from, and commitments to make them the "best they can be", it should come as no surprise that China and the USA are slugging it out for the most Olympic medals.
But we forget about one thing. The former Soviet Union. Not that long ago, the USSR was dominant in winning Olympic medals. Obviously, the USSR no longer exists and that region of the world has undergone major political and geographical changes in the last couple decades. They are no longer "united" as the Chinese and Americans are. Here's an analogy to consider ---
Ukraine now competes in the Olympics as a separate entity. What if California, and every American athlete that hailed from there, had to compete under a different flag as well? The former Soviet Republic of Georgia is much the same way. Take away Florida from the US team and I suspect it would get a little weaker. All the "Stans" that were formerly part of the USSR are now on their own. Compare them to what used to be the "confederate" states in the USA, and delete them as well.
Then throw in the fact that all the above would no longer fall under the umbrella of the once "national" team, and would have to provide their own separate athletes, equipment, training facilities, and coaches. Perhaps whatever was left of the former USA team could be renamed America, much like what Russia has experienced of late. If the USA fractured like what became of the USSR, it would likely not find itself on the leader board of Olympic medals either.
It all depends on how one looks at it.
As for the USA vs China? There's no way the Chinese can offer decent competition in beach volleyball.
But if they bring on the ping-pong tables..... look out.
Thing is, the medal count is skewed in a way.
China and the USA are both very formidable nations which go about backing their Olympic teams in different ways. Yet they have similarities. For example, the best gymnasts likely all train in the same top-notch facility, with the best coaches, as do the swimmers and divers in an equally impressive facility of their own. As countries with so many athletes to choose from, and commitments to make them the "best they can be", it should come as no surprise that China and the USA are slugging it out for the most Olympic medals.
But we forget about one thing. The former Soviet Union. Not that long ago, the USSR was dominant in winning Olympic medals. Obviously, the USSR no longer exists and that region of the world has undergone major political and geographical changes in the last couple decades. They are no longer "united" as the Chinese and Americans are. Here's an analogy to consider ---
Ukraine now competes in the Olympics as a separate entity. What if California, and every American athlete that hailed from there, had to compete under a different flag as well? The former Soviet Republic of Georgia is much the same way. Take away Florida from the US team and I suspect it would get a little weaker. All the "Stans" that were formerly part of the USSR are now on their own. Compare them to what used to be the "confederate" states in the USA, and delete them as well.
Then throw in the fact that all the above would no longer fall under the umbrella of the once "national" team, and would have to provide their own separate athletes, equipment, training facilities, and coaches. Perhaps whatever was left of the former USA team could be renamed America, much like what Russia has experienced of late. If the USA fractured like what became of the USSR, it would likely not find itself on the leader board of Olympic medals either.
It all depends on how one looks at it.
As for the USA vs China? There's no way the Chinese can offer decent competition in beach volleyball.
But if they bring on the ping-pong tables..... look out.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
The USA lady gymnasts. Cyborgs?
Unlike their male-counterparts, the USA lady gymnasts performed almost flawlessly, running away with the gold medal. They earned it and are worthy of whatever laurels come their way. Bravo.
Idle thought -- the scoring system changed somewhere along the line. Nowadays a perfect score in a routine might be 16.600, and after deductions of, say, 1.373, will equal out to -- I don't know -- some weird number. I miss the days when a good effort yield a score of 9, a great one 9.5, and an eye-popper was a perfect 10. Everybody understood that. Now, nobody knows what the hell is going on, but I digress.
Yes, I understand that after years of training, and umpteen thousand repetitions, these athletes can appear to be almost programmed like robots to perform what we eventually see on TV. This is not to take away from their dedication and ability, which should be admired, but merely to point out a detail that makes your truly wonder about these girls sometimes. Are they truly flesh and blood humans, or cyborgs cleverly made up to look like real people? I'll get back to that.
If one was looking close, there's no doubt these girls were heavily "made-up". Besides flesh colored make-up, they sported eye-liner, eye shadow, mascara, lip gloss, a touch of rouge here and there, and probably a few other things most men have no idea about. They can't just slap all that goop on themselves 5 minutes before they're due to perform on TV. I wonder if they spend more time warming up or in the make-up room. And what's the point? This is supposed to be an athletic contest, not a beauty pageant.
Nevertheless, those girls run, jump, spin, flip, tumble, twirl, and perform all manner of other amazing feats in their various routines. It's incredible to watch as they push themselves to their limits in the pursuit of perfection. Few would doubt these world-class athletes give it everything they have in a very physically demanding sport.
Which brings me back to the original dilemma. Humans or cyborgs? Certainly they can smile, frown, laugh, cry, and fluently converse -- like humans.
But here's the thing. During all of the physical exertion over their various exercises, their make-up remains perfect. Other than rain, what's the one thing that will ruin a woman's make-up?
Sweat. A human would be wringing wet after what these girls go through, yet not one drop of perspiration from any of them -- ever -- anyplace on their bodies. Check it out.
Cyborgs don't sweat either.
Hmmm.
Idle thought -- the scoring system changed somewhere along the line. Nowadays a perfect score in a routine might be 16.600, and after deductions of, say, 1.373, will equal out to -- I don't know -- some weird number. I miss the days when a good effort yield a score of 9, a great one 9.5, and an eye-popper was a perfect 10. Everybody understood that. Now, nobody knows what the hell is going on, but I digress.
Yes, I understand that after years of training, and umpteen thousand repetitions, these athletes can appear to be almost programmed like robots to perform what we eventually see on TV. This is not to take away from their dedication and ability, which should be admired, but merely to point out a detail that makes your truly wonder about these girls sometimes. Are they truly flesh and blood humans, or cyborgs cleverly made up to look like real people? I'll get back to that.
If one was looking close, there's no doubt these girls were heavily "made-up". Besides flesh colored make-up, they sported eye-liner, eye shadow, mascara, lip gloss, a touch of rouge here and there, and probably a few other things most men have no idea about. They can't just slap all that goop on themselves 5 minutes before they're due to perform on TV. I wonder if they spend more time warming up or in the make-up room. And what's the point? This is supposed to be an athletic contest, not a beauty pageant.
Nevertheless, those girls run, jump, spin, flip, tumble, twirl, and perform all manner of other amazing feats in their various routines. It's incredible to watch as they push themselves to their limits in the pursuit of perfection. Few would doubt these world-class athletes give it everything they have in a very physically demanding sport.
Which brings me back to the original dilemma. Humans or cyborgs? Certainly they can smile, frown, laugh, cry, and fluently converse -- like humans.
But here's the thing. During all of the physical exertion over their various exercises, their make-up remains perfect. Other than rain, what's the one thing that will ruin a woman's make-up?
Sweat. A human would be wringing wet after what these girls go through, yet not one drop of perspiration from any of them -- ever -- anyplace on their bodies. Check it out.
Cyborgs don't sweat either.
Hmmm.
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