Most NFL fans would probably admit the playoffs haven't gone exactly as expected so far. After all, 4 games have been played, 3 road teams won, and the lone home team to squeak out a win had to come from 4 touchdowns behind to pull it off. Consider:
San Diego went into Cincinnatti. The Bengals were unbeaten at home this year -- but the Chargers have been on a roll for the last few weeks. San Diego wins -- handily.
New Orleans visited Philadelphia. The Eagles were 7-1 in their last 8 games and the Saints had never won a playoff game on the road. Guess what?
San Francisco had to go to Green Bay, never an easy proposition. Granted, the 49ers are really good, and further granted Packer QB Aaron Rdgers is probably a little rusty after a two month lay-off, -- and yeah, the 49ers had everybody healthy while Green Bay has been racked with injuries to key players -- but still...... The Packers are supposed to be tough in Cheeserland. San Fran won, fair and square.
Yep, the Indianapolis Colts were getting run out of their own building by the Kansas City Chiefs. Then in the second half, luck, both the Andrew and Lady variety, somehow stepped in to save the day. They were the only home team to win in the opening round of the playoffs -- and they very well should have lost. KC is probably still wondering how the hell that all happened.
That sets up some interesting match-ups in the next round.
San Diego has to go to Denver. A guy named Peyton that that makes a lot of dumb TV commercials, and just so happens to play for the Broncos will be waiting. Peyton is coming off a record-setting season with TD passes thrown and total points scored. This should be a no-brainer. But wait a minute, those same Chargers went into Denver less than a month ago and beat them 27-20. Can they do it again? Beats me. I didn't think the Baltimore Ravens had a chance last year going there either, but they did, and won, on their way to winning the Super Bowl. Ya never know. Still, I think old man chicken neck gets his revenge in a big way.
Indy goes to New England. How the Patriots even are where they are is amazing in itself. They've got Tom Brady, head coach Bill Belichick, and -- exactly what else? They've got one superstar tight end out for the season, a former one awaiting trial on a murder charge, lost their best receiver to the above mentioned Broncos in free agency after last year, and a bunch of other no-name guys filling out the rest of their roster. It's like smoke and mirrors -- but somehow they always seem to be competitive. And you know what? I suspect Andrew's Luck will finally run out when he runs into the Brady Bunch in a playoff game.
New Orleans goes to Seattle. Not that long ago, Seattle was deemed invincible at home. Then the upstart Arizona Cardinals showed the impossible could indeed be done by going into Seattle and beating them. Thing is, the Saints were there themselves not long ago, and got clobbered 34-7. Yeah, they finally won a road game in Philly, but yours truly suspect they're in a heap of trouble (again) when they go back to the crazy house in the northwest.
Best game coming up? San Fran going to Carolina. Here's the deal. Yours truly may be an insufferable idiot and a hack of a writer. I'll own that. But I also have a long memory -- sometimes. And I seem to rememer that before the 2013 season even started, the NFL gurus at Sports Illustrated predicted the Carolina Panthers would be the worst team in the entire league. Last time I looked, Carolina had won the NFC South and earned a first-round bye. So much for Peter King and his merry band of overrated prognosticators. Why some scribes continue to cite King as some sort of "expert" defies the imagination, and shows how gullible and easily led they themselves are.
Nevertheless, this should be a very good game. Rough, tough San Fran taking on the Cam Newton led Panthers, with their own ferocious defense. Yes, Carolina has many advantages going in. Besides home field, the 49ers had to fly to Green Bay, then back to San Fran after their win, and in a few days will have to fly all the way cross-country back to Charlotte. That's a lot of air miles and time zones crossed in a week's time. The jet lag thing certainly can't help. Meanwhile, the Panthers have had a week to sit home letting the bumps and bruises get a little better. And you just know they were closely watching the SF/GB game looking for ways to exploit the weaknesses of whoever they had to face next.
Who will win? Methinks the 49ers got bumped and bruised themselves a bit in their win at Lambeau. Throw in the jet lag thing, and the odds tilt heavily in Carolina's favor. But yours truly smells an upset here. Jim Harbaugh and company are the real deal and though the Panthers may have vastly exceeded any and all expectations this year -- they're still young, and likely prone to mistakes when the pressure of the playoffs ratchets up.
Ah. It doesn't matter. The road to the Super Bowl leads through Seattle and Denver, and I don't see either one of them going down at home.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Saturday, January 4, 2014
The wacky NFL playoffs
So one quarterback throws for 4 touchdowns, 0 interceptions, and his team is ahead 38-10 at halftime. The other throws for 4 touchdowns, but has 3 interceptions, and is behind 28 points at halftime. Who do you think wins?
That was the scenario in the Kansas City/Indianapolis AFC playoff game with the Chiefs seeming to have their way -- at least in the first half. But maybe there's a reason the Colts' quarterback is named Andrew Luck. In the second half, it was anti-Murphy's Law time. Everything that could go right -- did go right -- at least for Indianapolis. And so in the largest comeback in NFL playoff history -- they squeaked by 45-44. Things are good in Hoosierland right now. They move on to fight another day. Not so good in Jayhawker country. They go home, pack their bags, and disperse for the off-season.
In Philly, the Eagles hosted the New Orleans Saints. Rookie head coach Chip Kelly had his Eagles flying high the last two months, winning 7 out of 8. The Saints had never won a playoff game on the road before in their entire history. Yes, in the aftermath of the destruction Hurricane Katrina wreaked on New Orleans a few years back -- the Saints indeed heroically rallied to even win the Super Bowl. But they never won a road game along the way.
And let's not forget the "if I'm Ryan, I'm dying" factor. Rob Ryan, that loveable Scoobydoo twin brother of NY Jets head coach Rex. got kicked to the curb by Dallas Cowboys' owner Jerry Jones last year. As a defensive coordinator, he wasn't good enough in Big D. At the time, Scooby woofed and said he wouldn't be out of a job for 5 minutes. Other people would be begging for his services. Well, 5 minutes turned into a few months, but eventually he landed the same position with the New Orleans Saints. Has their defense improved under his tutelage? Absolutely. But one must remember the Saints had the worst defense in the entire league before the Robster took over. There was nowhere to go but up. Now, they're about average.
It should also be noted that Rob Ryan isn't exactly new to this NFL defensive coordinator stuff. Starting in 2004, until the present, he's had the same job with the Oakland Raiders, Cleveland Browns, Dallas Cowboys, and now the Saints. But during those 10 years none of those teams -- NONE -- ever won a playoff game.
So if the Saints have never won a playoff game on the road, and Scoob has never been associated with a team that won one period -- one would think the Eagles would have let the Saints come marching in, but then marched them right back to the bayou with another road loss of their record.
Yet it didn't happen that way. The Saints won. Turns out, that Drew Brees guy is still pretty good. Next, they have the dubious honor of travelling to Seattle for a rematch. Perhaps they can avenge the 34-7 beatdown the Seahawks put on them a month ago in the same place.
I don't think so. Though the Arizona Cardinals proved it's possible for a visiting team to go into that house of horrors and actually win -- methinks the Saints are marching off to a slaughterhouse.
But hey, they finally got a road win in Philly, and Rob finally shed his decade old albatross of being a playoff loser. Things could be a lot worse.
They could have been in Detroit all along.
That was the scenario in the Kansas City/Indianapolis AFC playoff game with the Chiefs seeming to have their way -- at least in the first half. But maybe there's a reason the Colts' quarterback is named Andrew Luck. In the second half, it was anti-Murphy's Law time. Everything that could go right -- did go right -- at least for Indianapolis. And so in the largest comeback in NFL playoff history -- they squeaked by 45-44. Things are good in Hoosierland right now. They move on to fight another day. Not so good in Jayhawker country. They go home, pack their bags, and disperse for the off-season.
In Philly, the Eagles hosted the New Orleans Saints. Rookie head coach Chip Kelly had his Eagles flying high the last two months, winning 7 out of 8. The Saints had never won a playoff game on the road before in their entire history. Yes, in the aftermath of the destruction Hurricane Katrina wreaked on New Orleans a few years back -- the Saints indeed heroically rallied to even win the Super Bowl. But they never won a road game along the way.
And let's not forget the "if I'm Ryan, I'm dying" factor. Rob Ryan, that loveable Scoobydoo twin brother of NY Jets head coach Rex. got kicked to the curb by Dallas Cowboys' owner Jerry Jones last year. As a defensive coordinator, he wasn't good enough in Big D. At the time, Scooby woofed and said he wouldn't be out of a job for 5 minutes. Other people would be begging for his services. Well, 5 minutes turned into a few months, but eventually he landed the same position with the New Orleans Saints. Has their defense improved under his tutelage? Absolutely. But one must remember the Saints had the worst defense in the entire league before the Robster took over. There was nowhere to go but up. Now, they're about average.
It should also be noted that Rob Ryan isn't exactly new to this NFL defensive coordinator stuff. Starting in 2004, until the present, he's had the same job with the Oakland Raiders, Cleveland Browns, Dallas Cowboys, and now the Saints. But during those 10 years none of those teams -- NONE -- ever won a playoff game.
So if the Saints have never won a playoff game on the road, and Scoob has never been associated with a team that won one period -- one would think the Eagles would have let the Saints come marching in, but then marched them right back to the bayou with another road loss of their record.
Yet it didn't happen that way. The Saints won. Turns out, that Drew Brees guy is still pretty good. Next, they have the dubious honor of travelling to Seattle for a rematch. Perhaps they can avenge the 34-7 beatdown the Seahawks put on them a month ago in the same place.
I don't think so. Though the Arizona Cardinals proved it's possible for a visiting team to go into that house of horrors and actually win -- methinks the Saints are marching off to a slaughterhouse.
But hey, they finally got a road win in Philly, and Rob finally shed his decade old albatross of being a playoff loser. Things could be a lot worse.
They could have been in Detroit all along.
The Orange Bowl
Ever hear of Dabo Swinney? Me neither. But they sure have in Clemson, South Carolina. Swinney's the head football coach of the Clemson Tigers (has been since 2009), and right now they're feeling pretty good about their football in Clemson.
They just knocked off the Buckeyes of Ohio State in the Orange Bowl. Yep, those same Buckeyes that hadn't tasted defeated in almost two years have now get whupped two games in a row. Remember, Michigan State throttled OSU in the Big 10 championship game a few weeks ago.
At any rate, the Orange Bowl was quite a game. Lots of spectacular plays from both teams, on both sides of the ball.
Also, this was the first time Clemson had faced Ohio State since 1978 at the Gator Bowl. Thirty five years is a long time to wait for a rematch. Clemson won that game back when Jimmy Carter was President, the Shah was still running the show in Iran, the "miracle on ice" of the 1980 winter Olympic games wouldn't happen for two more years, and yours truly had 6-pack abs. Seems like a long time ago.....
The 1978 game remains notable because that's when one Wayne Woodrow (Woody) Hayes went berserk along the sidelines and clubbed a Clemson player running by on the field. Yep, old Woody lowered the lumber on that poor devil. But even back then -- a couple decades before what we now know as politically correct fever would sweep the nation -- this was not acceptable. Despite his well-deserved legendary status in the college football world, and being almost God-like in Columbus -- a fire storm ensued and the fiery Woody was fired himself by OSU. Even a legend has his limits -- and that was WAY over the line. It would be the last game Hayes ever coached. Woody would pass on to the eternal three yards and a cloud of dust kingdom in 1987.
OSU coaches have come and gone since the late Woody prowled the sidelines. Nowadays, there's a guy named Urban Meyer in charge. Urban has been very successful wherever he's coached. And I'm not sure, but I suspect he and his rumored godfather Oscar Meyer have made a killing selling bologna and wieners on the side for the last few decades as well.
But even though Urban's modern-day Buckeyes went down to defeat at the hands of the same Clemson Tigers -- at least he didn't club an opposing player like his long ago predecessor did. Perhaps the savages in Columbus have become a bit more civilized in the last 35 years. Either that, or they've become more adept at disguising their true nature. Hmmm. Food for thought....
On the other hand, even though his team eventually prevailed, Clemson's Dabo Swinney had every reason to club a player. One of his own. Namely his right offensive tackle. He might be big, he might be strong, he might even block well -- but evidently the dude's got the brains of a brick. False start. Another false start. Hands to the face for a penalty. Another false start. If Jim Schwartz hadn't already been fired, I'd say this guy was perfect draft material for the Detroit Lions. But hey, the Fords still own the team, so don't rule him out just yet. In the 35 years since Woody Hayes pulled a bone-headed move, the Lions have pulled hundreds of them.
Nevertheless, congrats to Dabo Swinney and his Clemson Tigers on winning the Orange Bowl over those dastardly Buckeyes. They likely feel on top of the world right now, and good for them. When they get back home to South Carolina, let them feel some serious love from their fans.
Just one thing. Being Orange Bowl champs is good. Hopefully it makes them forget about the horrific beating Florida State put on them in their own backyard earlier this year (51-14), and maybe that vague memory of a 31-17 drubbing at the hands of their in-state rival South Carolina Gamecocks has finally gone away.
Things are good in Clemson right now. Maybe even Wayne Woodrow Hayes has let bygones be bygones and is looking down, or up, whichever, to give his blessing.
Beats a whack to the throat....
They just knocked off the Buckeyes of Ohio State in the Orange Bowl. Yep, those same Buckeyes that hadn't tasted defeated in almost two years have now get whupped two games in a row. Remember, Michigan State throttled OSU in the Big 10 championship game a few weeks ago.
At any rate, the Orange Bowl was quite a game. Lots of spectacular plays from both teams, on both sides of the ball.
Also, this was the first time Clemson had faced Ohio State since 1978 at the Gator Bowl. Thirty five years is a long time to wait for a rematch. Clemson won that game back when Jimmy Carter was President, the Shah was still running the show in Iran, the "miracle on ice" of the 1980 winter Olympic games wouldn't happen for two more years, and yours truly had 6-pack abs. Seems like a long time ago.....
The 1978 game remains notable because that's when one Wayne Woodrow (Woody) Hayes went berserk along the sidelines and clubbed a Clemson player running by on the field. Yep, old Woody lowered the lumber on that poor devil. But even back then -- a couple decades before what we now know as politically correct fever would sweep the nation -- this was not acceptable. Despite his well-deserved legendary status in the college football world, and being almost God-like in Columbus -- a fire storm ensued and the fiery Woody was fired himself by OSU. Even a legend has his limits -- and that was WAY over the line. It would be the last game Hayes ever coached. Woody would pass on to the eternal three yards and a cloud of dust kingdom in 1987.
OSU coaches have come and gone since the late Woody prowled the sidelines. Nowadays, there's a guy named Urban Meyer in charge. Urban has been very successful wherever he's coached. And I'm not sure, but I suspect he and his rumored godfather Oscar Meyer have made a killing selling bologna and wieners on the side for the last few decades as well.
But even though Urban's modern-day Buckeyes went down to defeat at the hands of the same Clemson Tigers -- at least he didn't club an opposing player like his long ago predecessor did. Perhaps the savages in Columbus have become a bit more civilized in the last 35 years. Either that, or they've become more adept at disguising their true nature. Hmmm. Food for thought....
On the other hand, even though his team eventually prevailed, Clemson's Dabo Swinney had every reason to club a player. One of his own. Namely his right offensive tackle. He might be big, he might be strong, he might even block well -- but evidently the dude's got the brains of a brick. False start. Another false start. Hands to the face for a penalty. Another false start. If Jim Schwartz hadn't already been fired, I'd say this guy was perfect draft material for the Detroit Lions. But hey, the Fords still own the team, so don't rule him out just yet. In the 35 years since Woody Hayes pulled a bone-headed move, the Lions have pulled hundreds of them.
Nevertheless, congrats to Dabo Swinney and his Clemson Tigers on winning the Orange Bowl over those dastardly Buckeyes. They likely feel on top of the world right now, and good for them. When they get back home to South Carolina, let them feel some serious love from their fans.
Just one thing. Being Orange Bowl champs is good. Hopefully it makes them forget about the horrific beating Florida State put on them in their own backyard earlier this year (51-14), and maybe that vague memory of a 31-17 drubbing at the hands of their in-state rival South Carolina Gamecocks has finally gone away.
Things are good in Clemson right now. Maybe even Wayne Woodrow Hayes has let bygones be bygones and is looking down, or up, whichever, to give his blessing.
Beats a whack to the throat....
Friday, January 3, 2014
Mark Dantonio and Nick Saban
Right about now, a recent snapshot of Dantonio and Sabin seems relevant. After all, Dantonio is the current head coach of the Michigan State football team, and Sabin held that same job from 1995-1999. So they have the Spartans in common -- present and past.
No doubt, Nick Saban is a household name amongst football fans. He's enjoyed phenomenal success during his tenure at Alabama, winning multiple national championships. Being the head football coach at Alabama is a very big deal, one of the premier college jobs in the country. Why? Consider the entire state of Alabama doesn't have any professional teams. No Major League baseball, no NFL presence, no NHL squad, nor an NBA team. So it should come as no surprise that college sports -- especially football -- is so wildly popular. They live and die by this stuff.
On the other hand, the state of Michigan enjoys the luxury of having a team from all 4 major professional sports leagues. While in-state college rivalries are certainly still a big deal themselves -- sports fans in Michigan are more diverse with their loyalties because they have many other options to choose from. How and why it all worked out that way is a very good question -- but that's just the way it is -- and has been for a long time.
So when a low-profile type guy like Michigan State head football coach Mark Dantonio comes along that not-so-slowly, but quite surely takes a program from historically mediocre to amongst the country's elite in a few short years -- he probably won't get the same kudos and media hype as other coaches around the country from higher profile schools. But he should, because he's done it the old-fashioned way. He's earned it.
And look back at what happened at the end of just this last college football season. Nick Saban's then #1 ranked mighty Crimson Tide got rolled by their cross-state rival Auburn in the final regular season game. Earlier tonight in the Sugar Bowl, the #10 ranked Oklahoma Sooners rolled the #3 ranked Tide back out to sea, dominating them the whole game.
In the meantime, Mark Dantonio and his Spartans had handily knocked off the then #2 ranked Ohio State Buckeyes in the Big 10 championship game. They would go on to dispatch #4 Stanford in the Rose Bowl. And let's not kid ourselves. When a Big 10 team goes to Pasadena to face a Pac 10 team -- this is as road warriorish as it gets. Guess who the majority of those in attendance will likely be rooting for? Not an easy task.
So let's see. One former MSU coach has taken the mercenary route over the years and enjoyed big time fame and the bazillions of dollars that go with it. But in his last two games against pretty good competition, his team got smoked.
The current MSU coach has come up through the ranks and in his last two games, his team looks like they could beat anybody. Too bad the 4-team playoff format doesn't start until next year. Right now, it would be very interesting if MSU was still in the mix against the likes of Florida State and Auburn.
Between the two of them -- one is trending up. The other down.
Guess who's who?
No doubt, Nick Saban is a household name amongst football fans. He's enjoyed phenomenal success during his tenure at Alabama, winning multiple national championships. Being the head football coach at Alabama is a very big deal, one of the premier college jobs in the country. Why? Consider the entire state of Alabama doesn't have any professional teams. No Major League baseball, no NFL presence, no NHL squad, nor an NBA team. So it should come as no surprise that college sports -- especially football -- is so wildly popular. They live and die by this stuff.
On the other hand, the state of Michigan enjoys the luxury of having a team from all 4 major professional sports leagues. While in-state college rivalries are certainly still a big deal themselves -- sports fans in Michigan are more diverse with their loyalties because they have many other options to choose from. How and why it all worked out that way is a very good question -- but that's just the way it is -- and has been for a long time.
So when a low-profile type guy like Michigan State head football coach Mark Dantonio comes along that not-so-slowly, but quite surely takes a program from historically mediocre to amongst the country's elite in a few short years -- he probably won't get the same kudos and media hype as other coaches around the country from higher profile schools. But he should, because he's done it the old-fashioned way. He's earned it.
And look back at what happened at the end of just this last college football season. Nick Saban's then #1 ranked mighty Crimson Tide got rolled by their cross-state rival Auburn in the final regular season game. Earlier tonight in the Sugar Bowl, the #10 ranked Oklahoma Sooners rolled the #3 ranked Tide back out to sea, dominating them the whole game.
In the meantime, Mark Dantonio and his Spartans had handily knocked off the then #2 ranked Ohio State Buckeyes in the Big 10 championship game. They would go on to dispatch #4 Stanford in the Rose Bowl. And let's not kid ourselves. When a Big 10 team goes to Pasadena to face a Pac 10 team -- this is as road warriorish as it gets. Guess who the majority of those in attendance will likely be rooting for? Not an easy task.
So let's see. One former MSU coach has taken the mercenary route over the years and enjoyed big time fame and the bazillions of dollars that go with it. But in his last two games against pretty good competition, his team got smoked.
The current MSU coach has come up through the ranks and in his last two games, his team looks like they could beat anybody. Too bad the 4-team playoff format doesn't start until next year. Right now, it would be very interesting if MSU was still in the mix against the likes of Florida State and Auburn.
Between the two of them -- one is trending up. The other down.
Guess who's who?
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Lovie, Romeo, and the name game
So former Chicago Bear head coach Lovie Smith just signed on to take over the reins of the Tampa Bay Bucs? Well, OK. In the good old boys merry-go-round of NFL head coaches, this should come as no great surprise. A coach will get run out of one town by an owner because he wasn't good enough -- only to pop up in another franchise city somewhere, evidently having convinced THAT owner he could be some kind of miracle worker. This usually entails a long-term, multi-bazillion dollar guaranteed contract to boot. We've seen it over and over.
But Tampa is a progressive sort of town. Certainly age-wise -- ahem. And who knows? If the local masses can pry themselves away from bingo, gin rummy games, and shooting in the 200s on par 3 putt-putt courses, maybe they would be open to a man named Lovie coaching their beloved gridiron ruffians. Assuming, of course, they haven't been watching Gilligan's Island reruns. If so, they would no doubt wonder how that millionaire's uppity wife finally got off the desert isle -- and just how, pray tell, did she come be the head coach of the Buccaneers?
Yep, Tampa just might work out for the good Mrs. Howell, sorry, Mr Smith. Know where he was never going to get a job? Anyplace in Texas.
Down in yee-hah country they prefer guys with names like Buck, Case, Colt, Mack, and of course, Tex. They once even hired a Bum (Phillips). Names like Jason and Troy were pushing it, but nosiree Billybob would they ever cotton to a Lovie. If he had "& Wesson" added to his last name -- they might give him an interview, but that first name still has to go. Ain't gonna be no Lovies in Texas.
Same with Romeo Crennel. He might have been the head coach of the Cleveland Browns and KC Chiefs in years past, but Cleveland and Kansas City are a far yippee-ki-ay from Texas.
Ain't gonna be no Romeos down there either. Let one of them in and, next thing ya know, they'll pass a law saying they gotta hire some Ivy League educated cowgirl named Juliet as defensive coordinator. And that just wouldn't do. Special teams coach maybe, but not a coordinator. Those dang women need to know their place in Bush country, by gawd.
Hard to say where recently fired Minnesota Vikings head coach Leslie Frazier might land next. It will be somewhere. But guess where it ain't gonna be? Nope, even if Dallas Cowboys' owner Jerry Jones finally kicks his red-headed stepson Jason Garrett to the curb, ain't no way he's gonna hire a Leslie to run America's team down in Big D. Just wouldn't seem fittin' -- ya know?
And what were their parents thinking anyway, naming their male children Lovie, Romeo, and Leslie? Bet they caught hell from their classmates in junior high school....
On that note -- another story. It seems some couple in Alabama are catching a lot of flak for naming their newborn child Krimson Tide. Obviously, they're big-time Alabama fans. So what's the big deal? I think it's kinda cool.
And let's face it -- if they were fans of other universities -- it could have been a helluva lot worse.
How about Horned Phrog?
Buck, with the middle initial I?
Potential girls names could get really touchy. Nittany Lynn might work. But there's a few Cougars out there in college football. How do you think that would play out as they got older? And I would strongly suggest that fans of the Oregon State Beavers think long and hard before naming their daughter after their favorite team. Even if she had an older brother named Wally, I'm thinking that would still be a very bad idea in the long run.
Ah well. Both the New York Giants and New York Jets actually play in New Jersey, and the Detroit Pistons haven't played within 20 miles of the city limits for over 30 years. So what's in a name?
But Tampa is a progressive sort of town. Certainly age-wise -- ahem. And who knows? If the local masses can pry themselves away from bingo, gin rummy games, and shooting in the 200s on par 3 putt-putt courses, maybe they would be open to a man named Lovie coaching their beloved gridiron ruffians. Assuming, of course, they haven't been watching Gilligan's Island reruns. If so, they would no doubt wonder how that millionaire's uppity wife finally got off the desert isle -- and just how, pray tell, did she come be the head coach of the Buccaneers?
Yep, Tampa just might work out for the good Mrs. Howell, sorry, Mr Smith. Know where he was never going to get a job? Anyplace in Texas.
Down in yee-hah country they prefer guys with names like Buck, Case, Colt, Mack, and of course, Tex. They once even hired a Bum (Phillips). Names like Jason and Troy were pushing it, but nosiree Billybob would they ever cotton to a Lovie. If he had "& Wesson" added to his last name -- they might give him an interview, but that first name still has to go. Ain't gonna be no Lovies in Texas.
Same with Romeo Crennel. He might have been the head coach of the Cleveland Browns and KC Chiefs in years past, but Cleveland and Kansas City are a far yippee-ki-ay from Texas.
Ain't gonna be no Romeos down there either. Let one of them in and, next thing ya know, they'll pass a law saying they gotta hire some Ivy League educated cowgirl named Juliet as defensive coordinator. And that just wouldn't do. Special teams coach maybe, but not a coordinator. Those dang women need to know their place in Bush country, by gawd.
Hard to say where recently fired Minnesota Vikings head coach Leslie Frazier might land next. It will be somewhere. But guess where it ain't gonna be? Nope, even if Dallas Cowboys' owner Jerry Jones finally kicks his red-headed stepson Jason Garrett to the curb, ain't no way he's gonna hire a Leslie to run America's team down in Big D. Just wouldn't seem fittin' -- ya know?
And what were their parents thinking anyway, naming their male children Lovie, Romeo, and Leslie? Bet they caught hell from their classmates in junior high school....
On that note -- another story. It seems some couple in Alabama are catching a lot of flak for naming their newborn child Krimson Tide. Obviously, they're big-time Alabama fans. So what's the big deal? I think it's kinda cool.
And let's face it -- if they were fans of other universities -- it could have been a helluva lot worse.
How about Horned Phrog?
Buck, with the middle initial I?
Potential girls names could get really touchy. Nittany Lynn might work. But there's a few Cougars out there in college football. How do you think that would play out as they got older? And I would strongly suggest that fans of the Oregon State Beavers think long and hard before naming their daughter after their favorite team. Even if she had an older brother named Wally, I'm thinking that would still be a very bad idea in the long run.
Ah well. Both the New York Giants and New York Jets actually play in New Jersey, and the Detroit Pistons haven't played within 20 miles of the city limits for over 30 years. So what's in a name?
Idle bowl thoughts
Congrats to Michigan State on winning the 100th Rose Bowl -- knocking off the Stanford Cardinal. This was MSU's first Rose Bowl win since a guy named the Gipper was packing his bags in the oval office back in 1988. It's been a while. Already the headhunters are sniffing. Might MSU head coach Mark Dantonio jump ship for the vacancy at Texas?
The Tostito's Fiesta Bowl was both highly entertaining and dreadful. The U of Central Florida squared off against Baylor. With UCF being a 17 point underdog going in, the announcers were quick to offer up excuses if UCF didn't fare well. After all, they've only had a football program since 1979, they lamented.
Hogwash. 1979? That's 35 years. A lot of teams that didn't even come into existence until well after 1979 have not only gotten better, but won world championships. Like the Miami Heat, Baltimore Ravens, Florida Marlins, etc. In that respect, college football is no different. Players come and go every year (as do some coaches and managers), and time marches on. It's not like UCF just fell off a turnip truck last year and jumped into big time football. They came up through the lower ranks and have been a Division 1 program since 1996. Eighteen years. That's plenty of time to get it together. So the talking heads could have spared us the limp-wristed apologies just in case things didn't turn out well.
But they did turn out well. UCF beat Baylor by 10 points. That's a 27 point difference in what the odds-makers had predicted. So much for what the "wise guys" know. Like Maxwell Smart used to say, while holding his thumb and forefinger about a quarter inch apart -- missed it by THAT much. Right.
Dumbest commercial ever Dept. During the Fiesta Bowl, Jimmy Kimmel aired a two-part ad for Tostitos. The first installment evidently targeted the Forest Gumpish demographic. Surely, the network folks would come to their senses and pull the plug on part 2. Alas, they did not. Several minutes later, that was broadcast as well. And somewhere, I suspect many comatose patients shook their heads and maggots vomited. Bringing on Erik Estrada of the long departed CHIPS cop show for a cameo appearance? Does Ben Stein's former boy wonder have no shame?
Speaking of wise guys --
In the Gator Bowl, Georgia was favored by 9 over Nebraska. They lost by 5. A difference of two touchdowns. And since when are there any gators in Jacksonville? One has to go a ways further south before they run into those critters.
In the Rose Bowl, Stanford was favored by 6.5 over MSU. They lost by 4. A ten point swing.
In the Capital One Bowl, Wisconsin was favored by 1.5 over South Carolina. They lost by 10.
It appears the number-crunching geniuses in the back rooms of Vegas don't know any more about this stuff than you or I.
But never fear. The GoDaddy.com Bowl is yet to be played. Wait a minute. Isn't that loveable losing race car driver Danica Patrick the face of GoDaddy these days? And the hunky boys from Ball State are going to show up to compete?
Perfect. There's spreads, and then there's spreads.........
The Tostito's Fiesta Bowl was both highly entertaining and dreadful. The U of Central Florida squared off against Baylor. With UCF being a 17 point underdog going in, the announcers were quick to offer up excuses if UCF didn't fare well. After all, they've only had a football program since 1979, they lamented.
Hogwash. 1979? That's 35 years. A lot of teams that didn't even come into existence until well after 1979 have not only gotten better, but won world championships. Like the Miami Heat, Baltimore Ravens, Florida Marlins, etc. In that respect, college football is no different. Players come and go every year (as do some coaches and managers), and time marches on. It's not like UCF just fell off a turnip truck last year and jumped into big time football. They came up through the lower ranks and have been a Division 1 program since 1996. Eighteen years. That's plenty of time to get it together. So the talking heads could have spared us the limp-wristed apologies just in case things didn't turn out well.
But they did turn out well. UCF beat Baylor by 10 points. That's a 27 point difference in what the odds-makers had predicted. So much for what the "wise guys" know. Like Maxwell Smart used to say, while holding his thumb and forefinger about a quarter inch apart -- missed it by THAT much. Right.
Dumbest commercial ever Dept. During the Fiesta Bowl, Jimmy Kimmel aired a two-part ad for Tostitos. The first installment evidently targeted the Forest Gumpish demographic. Surely, the network folks would come to their senses and pull the plug on part 2. Alas, they did not. Several minutes later, that was broadcast as well. And somewhere, I suspect many comatose patients shook their heads and maggots vomited. Bringing on Erik Estrada of the long departed CHIPS cop show for a cameo appearance? Does Ben Stein's former boy wonder have no shame?
Speaking of wise guys --
In the Gator Bowl, Georgia was favored by 9 over Nebraska. They lost by 5. A difference of two touchdowns. And since when are there any gators in Jacksonville? One has to go a ways further south before they run into those critters.
In the Rose Bowl, Stanford was favored by 6.5 over MSU. They lost by 4. A ten point swing.
In the Capital One Bowl, Wisconsin was favored by 1.5 over South Carolina. They lost by 10.
It appears the number-crunching geniuses in the back rooms of Vegas don't know any more about this stuff than you or I.
But never fear. The GoDaddy.com Bowl is yet to be played. Wait a minute. Isn't that loveable losing race car driver Danica Patrick the face of GoDaddy these days? And the hunky boys from Ball State are going to show up to compete?
Perfect. There's spreads, and then there's spreads.........
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Samuel L. Jackson goes bowling
That credit card commercial is making me crazy. You know the one. Samuel L. Jackson, in a sorry Muhammed Ali impersonation, screams out something about being the heavyweight champion of the world while hawking Capital One's Quicksilver credit card.
I wonder if it ever occurred to those people that quicksilver is another name for mercury -- which is a highly toxic substance to humans. They still want to know what's in our wallets. My answer would be none of your business, but I damn sure ain't gonna carry a load of mercury around in my back pocket.
And I''ll betcha old Sammy Jack couldn't tell you who played in the Capital One Bowl if it was a multiple choice question. (South Carolina beat Wisconsin 34-24).
Grrr. I'd like to pulp HIS fiction.
Back to the bowls....
I wonder if it ever occurred to those people that quicksilver is another name for mercury -- which is a highly toxic substance to humans. They still want to know what's in our wallets. My answer would be none of your business, but I damn sure ain't gonna carry a load of mercury around in my back pocket.
And I''ll betcha old Sammy Jack couldn't tell you who played in the Capital One Bowl if it was a multiple choice question. (South Carolina beat Wisconsin 34-24).
Grrr. I'd like to pulp HIS fiction.
Back to the bowls....
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