Fashion.
Evidently, some clothes company is offering a new 000 size for its lady customers. This is a great idea. One never knows when an anorexic epidemic may sweep the nation, or a few million women will escape after having spent years in a concentration camp. Other than that, who can wear this stuff that's over 12 years of age? Some women don't like it, because they feel it pressures them into being skinny. Not to worry, girls. Most men prefer a little meat on the bones, and elsewhere. Hey, there's a reason, actually a couple prominent ones, why folks like Kate Upton grace the covers of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues, and not an Asian gymnast.
The Home Run Derby preceding the All-Star game.
It's getting wimpier every year. Now they've even got rid of the home plate umpire. Sure, any ball swung at that does NOT result in a home run is considered an out. But it used to be any ball taken and not swung at that was in the strike zone was an out as well. Nowadays, these guys wait for the "perfect pitch". They typically let several go by that would be called strikes by an umpire, but they weren't "just right". Technically, these "sluggers" could be at bat forever. Even the balls have been wimpified. The age old color of white isn't good enough anymore. Now they have to be a "special" color so the poor multi-millionaire dears can see them better with what amounts to them facing batting practice pitching. To boot, yours truly wouldn't be a bit surprised if those "special" balls used in the Home Run Derby wouldn't pass inspection for a typical major league game. In other words, I suspect they're a little more juiced than your average person getting struck by lightning. Wound up tighter than Judge Judy after a long night at a meth lab. Like that. And what's with the announcers going ballistic over every home run? They'll ooh and ahh over a homer that drops into the first couple rows of seats. Maybe 350-360 feet, depending on if it was hit down the right or left field lines. 350 feet? I used to play slo-pitch softball with guys that could hit it that far. And anything over 400 feet in the HRD is considered a "monster shot", though in many ball parks it would be caught for an out in centerfield. Wake me up when they start hitting them 500+ feet like they did back in the old days, without the benefit of customized bats and juiced balls. Whatever happened in the meantime? How can guys supposedly be so much stronger, have better equipment, better training regimens and coaches, but can't hit balls nearly as far as their predecessors from decades ago? Very strange.
Typical government.
Remember the octo-mom? They've got her jammed up because she appeared in a porno movie, posed for a couple mags, and danced at a strip club, but didn't pay taxes on that income. Hey, the woman has 14 kids in all. If anybody needs a break -- it's her.
The NFL.
Wow, can that be right? Five Baltimore Ravens have been arrested in the off-season for various offenses? Who do these guys think they are? The former Portland Jailblazers? The defense of the Detroit Lions under loose cannon ex-coach Jim Schwartz? I thought he shuffled off to Buffalo. If you didn't have enough problems already, good luck with that, Bills' fans.
Justin Verlander.
Once amongst the most dominating starting pitchers in the game, including a recent Cy Young award, the "fastball flakes" man seems to be slip-sliding away into mere mediocrity. Since 2011, he's gone from 24-5, to 17-8, to 13-12, and is only 8-8 this season with an ERA of a rather high 4.88. This is definitely a downward trend. JV can still show flashes of brilliance, but at other times he gets hammered by opposing hitters. So, which is he? Still really good, but not getting any breaks, or have the other guys finally figured him out and things will get worse in the future? We'll see.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Monday, July 14, 2014
Deutschland uber alles!!
A disclaimer. Yours truly is of German heritage, so the levity, and perhaps poor taste expressed below can as much be considered poking fun at myself, as any others. So don't get your liederhosen in a knot, OK? Onward.
Nein. The slogan "Deutschland uber alles", which roughly translates to "Germany kicks everybody's ass", didn't work out so well for them back in the early 1940s. There was that little dust-up called World War II and, when it was all over, the Fatherland was in ruins. They would see their country divided in half by the former "allied" powers, and a wall built splitting their capital city of Berlin. The US and the USSR had begun the "cold war" and Germany was caught in the middle. It would take almost a half century before Deutschlanders were able to fully reunite again, and be free -- mostly -- of external powers jerking them around.
But ach du lieber. Look at them now. After just defeating Argentina in the finals of the World Cup, they are the undisputed heavyweight champs of soccer. "Deutschland uber alles" seems appropriate indeed. If one is German, ja, das ist sehr gut (which roughly translates to "very cool and let's party").
Idle thought: If Lebron James and the Miami Heat had three-peated instead of getting blown out by San Antonio in the Finals, would he still be going "home" to Cleveland or staying in South Beach looking to keep the streak of NBA titles alive, as was his prediction four years ago? Hmmm.
But for now, the Teutonic descendants reign supreme in the world of FIFA (which roughly translates to "Futbol Is F***ing Awesome"). Methinks the biergartens and rathskellers will be quite busy in the near future. Sehr gut indeed.
In a climactic moment that basically decided the game, Mario, who had replaced Miroslav, scored a goal that was set up by Andre. Wait a second. The Germans are naming guys Mario, Miroslav, and Andre these days? Really? Sounds Italian, Serbian, and Spanish to me. Whatever happened to the good old traditional names like Hans, Dieter, Johann, Ludwig, Fritz, Gunther, and -- dare I say it -- Adolph? Dude still makes a great meat marinade. Buy it all the time. Geez, and the USA thinks THEY have an immigration problem.
And that's the thing about soccer in Deutschland. It's a HUGE deal and winning the World Cup is certainly cause for national celebration. Americans can't fully appreciate this. It would be like all politicians simultaneously declared they would set aside their petty partisan differences, and to show their dedication to a higher cause -- work for free for the betterment of the country as a whole. Nein, that's not likely to happen. But talk about a national uplifting of the spirit if it did....
But enough about that. I bid thee "auf wiedersehen" (which roughly translates to "this stupidity has ran on long enough and I'm outta here").
Nein. The slogan "Deutschland uber alles", which roughly translates to "Germany kicks everybody's ass", didn't work out so well for them back in the early 1940s. There was that little dust-up called World War II and, when it was all over, the Fatherland was in ruins. They would see their country divided in half by the former "allied" powers, and a wall built splitting their capital city of Berlin. The US and the USSR had begun the "cold war" and Germany was caught in the middle. It would take almost a half century before Deutschlanders were able to fully reunite again, and be free -- mostly -- of external powers jerking them around.
But ach du lieber. Look at them now. After just defeating Argentina in the finals of the World Cup, they are the undisputed heavyweight champs of soccer. "Deutschland uber alles" seems appropriate indeed. If one is German, ja, das ist sehr gut (which roughly translates to "very cool and let's party").
Idle thought: If Lebron James and the Miami Heat had three-peated instead of getting blown out by San Antonio in the Finals, would he still be going "home" to Cleveland or staying in South Beach looking to keep the streak of NBA titles alive, as was his prediction four years ago? Hmmm.
But for now, the Teutonic descendants reign supreme in the world of FIFA (which roughly translates to "Futbol Is F***ing Awesome"). Methinks the biergartens and rathskellers will be quite busy in the near future. Sehr gut indeed.
In a climactic moment that basically decided the game, Mario, who had replaced Miroslav, scored a goal that was set up by Andre. Wait a second. The Germans are naming guys Mario, Miroslav, and Andre these days? Really? Sounds Italian, Serbian, and Spanish to me. Whatever happened to the good old traditional names like Hans, Dieter, Johann, Ludwig, Fritz, Gunther, and -- dare I say it -- Adolph? Dude still makes a great meat marinade. Buy it all the time. Geez, and the USA thinks THEY have an immigration problem.
And that's the thing about soccer in Deutschland. It's a HUGE deal and winning the World Cup is certainly cause for national celebration. Americans can't fully appreciate this. It would be like all politicians simultaneously declared they would set aside their petty partisan differences, and to show their dedication to a higher cause -- work for free for the betterment of the country as a whole. Nein, that's not likely to happen. But talk about a national uplifting of the spirit if it did....
But enough about that. I bid thee "auf wiedersehen" (which roughly translates to "this stupidity has ran on long enough and I'm outta here").
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Dumb things
Some college girl takes a nude picture of herself intending to sext it to her boyfriend. Oops. Wrong address. It goes to her dad. Realizing the mistake, her idea of damage control is to start tweeting about it. Idiot.
Some dude in Washington state just had to be amongst the first in line when recreational pot was legalized. Just one problem. His boss saw him on TV, made him take a drug test -- which he failed -- and now the guy's out of a job. Here's an idea. Wait a couple days until the reporters and cameras go away. Hello? Moron.
Stan Van Gundy was hired by the Detroit Pistons as not only head coach, but president of basketball operations. He's got the front office covered from top to bottom. But then he hired a general manager. Who's reporting to who and just exactly what are this GM's responsibilities? Nobody seems to know. If that wasn't dumb enough, Stan just hired an assistant GM to help out the other guy, who will apparently do nothing, but cost a lot of money. This is starting to sound like the federal government, not an NBA franchise. Relatively new billionaire owner Tom Gores must have a few million bucks he doesn't care about. Either that, or he's not paying attention. Even the mega-rich can do dumb things sometimes.
Another dude's body was just recently discovered on Mont Blanc in the Alps after having been frozen in the ice for 32 years? Sounds like a cold case to me.
A former Harry Potter movie villain keeled over and died from heat stroke while hiking in Death Valley? Wow. Now there's a hot story.
Wide receiver Calvin "Megatron" Johnson of the Detroit Lions thinks they can go to the Super Bowl this year? Maybe he's been spending a little too much time out in the heat as well. Quick, somebody rehydrate this guy. The poor soul has become delirious. Yet, to be fair, CJ is hardly the first to fall into the trap. Millions have preceded him in and around Detroit over the decades. Partake of the Honolulu blue and silver kool-aid a leee-tle bit too long, and the madness will turn the best of minds into mush.
Johnson needs to come to grips with his destiny. If he spends his entire career with the Lions (and it looks like he might, because they have him under contract through the 2019 season, at which time CJ will be 35 years old -- a ripe old age for an NFL wide receiver), he's going to be like Ernie Banks, the late Tony Gwynne, Dan Marino, and the Utah dynamic duo of John Stockton and Karl Malone. A great player, and the Hall of Fame likely awaits him several years down the road. But like the greats mentioned above remained loyal to their teams throughout their careers, he'll never know what it feels like to be a champion. Some things for some players for some teams in some towns just aren't meant to be.
The Motown football kool-aid is very good at dumbing down the masses, and even working them into a fever pitch every year as the season starts, but it doesn't change reality. To think otherwise is, well, like lemmings getting in line for the exciting march up the hill. Problem is, the ending is always the same -- and it ain't good.
But despite all the dumb things going on, there are occasional flashes of brilliance. Consider the following bumper sticker recently spotted ---
Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people.
Makes sense to me.......
Some dude in Washington state just had to be amongst the first in line when recreational pot was legalized. Just one problem. His boss saw him on TV, made him take a drug test -- which he failed -- and now the guy's out of a job. Here's an idea. Wait a couple days until the reporters and cameras go away. Hello? Moron.
Stan Van Gundy was hired by the Detroit Pistons as not only head coach, but president of basketball operations. He's got the front office covered from top to bottom. But then he hired a general manager. Who's reporting to who and just exactly what are this GM's responsibilities? Nobody seems to know. If that wasn't dumb enough, Stan just hired an assistant GM to help out the other guy, who will apparently do nothing, but cost a lot of money. This is starting to sound like the federal government, not an NBA franchise. Relatively new billionaire owner Tom Gores must have a few million bucks he doesn't care about. Either that, or he's not paying attention. Even the mega-rich can do dumb things sometimes.
Another dude's body was just recently discovered on Mont Blanc in the Alps after having been frozen in the ice for 32 years? Sounds like a cold case to me.
A former Harry Potter movie villain keeled over and died from heat stroke while hiking in Death Valley? Wow. Now there's a hot story.
Wide receiver Calvin "Megatron" Johnson of the Detroit Lions thinks they can go to the Super Bowl this year? Maybe he's been spending a little too much time out in the heat as well. Quick, somebody rehydrate this guy. The poor soul has become delirious. Yet, to be fair, CJ is hardly the first to fall into the trap. Millions have preceded him in and around Detroit over the decades. Partake of the Honolulu blue and silver kool-aid a leee-tle bit too long, and the madness will turn the best of minds into mush.
Johnson needs to come to grips with his destiny. If he spends his entire career with the Lions (and it looks like he might, because they have him under contract through the 2019 season, at which time CJ will be 35 years old -- a ripe old age for an NFL wide receiver), he's going to be like Ernie Banks, the late Tony Gwynne, Dan Marino, and the Utah dynamic duo of John Stockton and Karl Malone. A great player, and the Hall of Fame likely awaits him several years down the road. But like the greats mentioned above remained loyal to their teams throughout their careers, he'll never know what it feels like to be a champion. Some things for some players for some teams in some towns just aren't meant to be.
The Motown football kool-aid is very good at dumbing down the masses, and even working them into a fever pitch every year as the season starts, but it doesn't change reality. To think otherwise is, well, like lemmings getting in line for the exciting march up the hill. Problem is, the ending is always the same -- and it ain't good.
But despite all the dumb things going on, there are occasional flashes of brilliance. Consider the following bumper sticker recently spotted ---
Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people.
Makes sense to me.......
Friday, July 11, 2014
The maturing of Lebron James
It didn't go down this time like it did four years ago. There was no press conference, no smoke and pyrotechnics, and certainly not three guys on stage mugging up the cameras. Back in 2010, Lebron James intentionally made a big splash when he proclaimed from on high that he was leaving Cleveland and "taking his talents" to South Beach to play for the Miami Heat.
With Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh sharing the podium, James announced they would win not one (championship), not two, not three..... not seven. And the holy, or not, hoop triumvirate smugly yukked it up. It was cocky, arrogant, and most of all childish. At roughly the same time, Cavaliers' owner Dan Gilbert was blistering Lebron as being a quitter, coward and a traitor. In essence, it was a billionaire throwing a temper tantrum when he couldn't have his way. Quite childish as well.
But this time it was different. Lebron Ramone James quitely issued a press release through Sports Illustrated merely saying it was time for him to go home. He would be re-joining the Cavaliers, likely for the rest of his career. It was a big splash indeed, but not of James' making. The media took care of that. James uttered not one word about his "talents" or predicted any championships. Indeed, quite the contrary. He said he was ready for the challenge, and hoped sometime in the future he could lead the Cavs to greatness.
Unlike so many other pro athletes that make obscene amounts of money in their mercenary ways never do, Lebron James has achieved yet another milestone. He's grown up. He's a man. He's reached full maturity. James may or may not ever win another title in Cleveland, and certainly he'll make scads of money, but how can you not respect a guy that has been to the mountaintop, but now just wants to go home and do the best he can?
Let's not forget that James never spent a day playing in college. Before the NBA changed its rules to the one and done collegiate requirement, Lebron was drafted right out of high school by the Cavs as the overall #1 pick in 2003 when he was only 18 years old. He would spend 7 years with the Cavs, once leading them to the NBA Finals in 2007. Alas, they were swept by San Antonio. Sounds somewhat familiar. While with the Heat, they would go to 4 consecutive NBA Finals, winning two championships. Also along the way, James would win 4 NBA MVP awards, and 2 Olympic gold medals, amongst other various hardware. It seems like he's been around a long time, and perhaps he has, considering he will be entering his 12th NBA season this fall.
But here's the thing. Lebron James is still only 29 years old. Currently, he's only approaching the peak of where his physical skills and mental understanding of the game will intersect. Yes, he'll get wiser in subsequent years, but he'll also "lose a step". That's how it works in most all sports. Mother Nature and Father Time seldom allow exceptions.
And forget basketball. Consider Lebron, the person. He's been happily married for quite some time, with two children, and a third on the way. No Tiger Woods-ish running around. By all accounts, he's a faithful husband and devoted father. No wrecking cars, positive drug tests, assaultive behavior, DUIs, and nary a gun incident. Plus, he goes the extra miles in various charitable ways and conducting kids' basketball camps to boot. The man's almost too squeaky clean. The tabloids must hate him. No dirt to sensationalize.
Few would doubt Lebron could have picked most any team not named the San Antonio Spurs and that club would have a found a way to create enough cap space while shedding other players to welcome him.
But he just wanted to go home.
I hope he and the Cavs do well. Cleveland needs a break. They've been waiting a very long time since they were able to celebrate a championship -- in any sport.
With Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh sharing the podium, James announced they would win not one (championship), not two, not three..... not seven. And the holy, or not, hoop triumvirate smugly yukked it up. It was cocky, arrogant, and most of all childish. At roughly the same time, Cavaliers' owner Dan Gilbert was blistering Lebron as being a quitter, coward and a traitor. In essence, it was a billionaire throwing a temper tantrum when he couldn't have his way. Quite childish as well.
But this time it was different. Lebron Ramone James quitely issued a press release through Sports Illustrated merely saying it was time for him to go home. He would be re-joining the Cavaliers, likely for the rest of his career. It was a big splash indeed, but not of James' making. The media took care of that. James uttered not one word about his "talents" or predicted any championships. Indeed, quite the contrary. He said he was ready for the challenge, and hoped sometime in the future he could lead the Cavs to greatness.
Unlike so many other pro athletes that make obscene amounts of money in their mercenary ways never do, Lebron James has achieved yet another milestone. He's grown up. He's a man. He's reached full maturity. James may or may not ever win another title in Cleveland, and certainly he'll make scads of money, but how can you not respect a guy that has been to the mountaintop, but now just wants to go home and do the best he can?
Let's not forget that James never spent a day playing in college. Before the NBA changed its rules to the one and done collegiate requirement, Lebron was drafted right out of high school by the Cavs as the overall #1 pick in 2003 when he was only 18 years old. He would spend 7 years with the Cavs, once leading them to the NBA Finals in 2007. Alas, they were swept by San Antonio. Sounds somewhat familiar. While with the Heat, they would go to 4 consecutive NBA Finals, winning two championships. Also along the way, James would win 4 NBA MVP awards, and 2 Olympic gold medals, amongst other various hardware. It seems like he's been around a long time, and perhaps he has, considering he will be entering his 12th NBA season this fall.
But here's the thing. Lebron James is still only 29 years old. Currently, he's only approaching the peak of where his physical skills and mental understanding of the game will intersect. Yes, he'll get wiser in subsequent years, but he'll also "lose a step". That's how it works in most all sports. Mother Nature and Father Time seldom allow exceptions.
And forget basketball. Consider Lebron, the person. He's been happily married for quite some time, with two children, and a third on the way. No Tiger Woods-ish running around. By all accounts, he's a faithful husband and devoted father. No wrecking cars, positive drug tests, assaultive behavior, DUIs, and nary a gun incident. Plus, he goes the extra miles in various charitable ways and conducting kids' basketball camps to boot. The man's almost too squeaky clean. The tabloids must hate him. No dirt to sensationalize.
Few would doubt Lebron could have picked most any team not named the San Antonio Spurs and that club would have a found a way to create enough cap space while shedding other players to welcome him.
But he just wanted to go home.
I hope he and the Cavs do well. Cleveland needs a break. They've been waiting a very long time since they were able to celebrate a championship -- in any sport.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Adam Silver's circus
With apologies to Neil Diamond, pack up the babies and grab the old ladies. The Brother Love (aka Adam Silver) travelling salvation show will be coming to a town near you soon. Actually, it already has, if one considers the media hype.
In his rookie year as NBA Commish, Silver seems to be offering the "greatest show on earth". Yessirree, step right up and buy your tickets now. There's something for everybody. Men, women, children, potted plants, even politicians. The Ringling Brothers would be so proud.
There are free agents galore out touring the country like an aging rock band. A gig in a different town every few days. Most notable amongst them are Lebron James and Carmelo Anthony. Everybody wants to book these guys. Money appears to be no problem. Most towns are not only willing, but begging to give them as much dough as they possibly can. One might think John Lennon and George Harrison have come back from the dead, and the Beatles have been re-united and are for hire.
Then there are the second-tier entertainers, lots of them, that are waiting to see where the headliners are going so they can get in line to be the warm-up acts. Not to mention making a few serious bucks of their own. Any of them showing loyalty to one city? Fuhgettaboutit. It's about the money, fame, and chance to win a championship -- which means more fame, exposure, endorsements, etc. Did I mention obscene amounts of money?
In the meanwhile, the head coach carousel continues to go round and round, with everybody from the "good ole boy" network to brand newbies hopping on and trying to grab a brass ring. It's like a deranged version of multi-million dollar musical chairs.
Incredibly, given expired contracts, opt-out clauses, and the free-agent jockeying for position, some teams only had a couple players still under contract. The Miami Heat had but one. Norris Coles. The guy with the Kim Jong Un haircut. This could be problematic if Pat Riley and the Heat can't sign a few other guys before the next season starts. Coles is a fine player, but his chances of winning games while being the only Miami player on the court aren't exactly good.
Let's not forget the little dust-up still going on in LA with the whole Sterling affair. Combine an 80 year old billionaire owner, a bimbo, supposedly racist comments made during a private conversation, divorce proceedings, allegations of dementia, an army of lawyers, and yet another billionaire willing to pay three times the market value to purchase the team -- and what do you have? Quite the side-show. Beats the heck out of the elephant man or bearded lady behind the curtain.
Yep, if former Commish David Stern oversaw the NBA rising to greater heights during his tenure, his protege Adam Silver has taken it to a new level. The theatre of the absurd.
But none of this happens without the two key ingredients. First is the media, particularly the talking heads, which seem to be multiplying faster than your average school of guppies. Of course, in order to keep their jobs, they have to find something to talk about. Problem is, these folks can go on for hours, days, weeks, forever, breathlessly rambling on about something that was quite trivial to begin with.
Yet they could not exist without those that hang on their every word. Enter the second and most crucial ingredient. A lemming-esque viewing public that apparently has nothing better to do with their lives than worry about which town or team gets to have the dubious privilege of paying some basketball player $20 million a year.
Personally, yours truly couldn't care less where James, Anthony, and the rest of them wind up playing. They can "take their talents" to Miami, NY, Chicago, LA, Cleveland, or any other NBA team. They can go to Europe, Asia, Neptune, or sign on with the Klingon D-league if the money is right. Or they can retire tomorrow. Players and coaches have always come and gone. Even franchises have relocated from one city to another. Contrary to what the yappy heads would have many believe, the current NBA sub-plots are hardly earth-shaking news. Stuff happens. Life goes on. For that matter, most of the spectacles have been a media creation in the first place. Without their constant droning of theories, possibilities, analyses, opinions, predictions, and a gullible public to sell them to, none of this would be big news.
But that seems to be the problem indeed. P.T. Barnum was absolutely right back in his day when he said a sucker was born every minute. Nowadays, there's thousands of them hatching every time the latest "breaking news" flash comes along -- which is about every five minutes.
Phineas Taylor Barnum became a very rich man, but he died in 1891, long before television was even dreamed of. Yet he would likely be proud of the NBA circus that is currently going on under Adam Silver's watch. Give P.T. the same amount of cable channels with their talking heads, and internet sensationalism today, and forget about being the NBA Commish. With that kind of pub, he might be sitting in the Oval Office.
The people that typically reside there also depend on suckers to buy into what they're selling. But that's a story for another day....
In his rookie year as NBA Commish, Silver seems to be offering the "greatest show on earth". Yessirree, step right up and buy your tickets now. There's something for everybody. Men, women, children, potted plants, even politicians. The Ringling Brothers would be so proud.
There are free agents galore out touring the country like an aging rock band. A gig in a different town every few days. Most notable amongst them are Lebron James and Carmelo Anthony. Everybody wants to book these guys. Money appears to be no problem. Most towns are not only willing, but begging to give them as much dough as they possibly can. One might think John Lennon and George Harrison have come back from the dead, and the Beatles have been re-united and are for hire.
Then there are the second-tier entertainers, lots of them, that are waiting to see where the headliners are going so they can get in line to be the warm-up acts. Not to mention making a few serious bucks of their own. Any of them showing loyalty to one city? Fuhgettaboutit. It's about the money, fame, and chance to win a championship -- which means more fame, exposure, endorsements, etc. Did I mention obscene amounts of money?
In the meanwhile, the head coach carousel continues to go round and round, with everybody from the "good ole boy" network to brand newbies hopping on and trying to grab a brass ring. It's like a deranged version of multi-million dollar musical chairs.
Incredibly, given expired contracts, opt-out clauses, and the free-agent jockeying for position, some teams only had a couple players still under contract. The Miami Heat had but one. Norris Coles. The guy with the Kim Jong Un haircut. This could be problematic if Pat Riley and the Heat can't sign a few other guys before the next season starts. Coles is a fine player, but his chances of winning games while being the only Miami player on the court aren't exactly good.
Let's not forget the little dust-up still going on in LA with the whole Sterling affair. Combine an 80 year old billionaire owner, a bimbo, supposedly racist comments made during a private conversation, divorce proceedings, allegations of dementia, an army of lawyers, and yet another billionaire willing to pay three times the market value to purchase the team -- and what do you have? Quite the side-show. Beats the heck out of the elephant man or bearded lady behind the curtain.
Yep, if former Commish David Stern oversaw the NBA rising to greater heights during his tenure, his protege Adam Silver has taken it to a new level. The theatre of the absurd.
But none of this happens without the two key ingredients. First is the media, particularly the talking heads, which seem to be multiplying faster than your average school of guppies. Of course, in order to keep their jobs, they have to find something to talk about. Problem is, these folks can go on for hours, days, weeks, forever, breathlessly rambling on about something that was quite trivial to begin with.
Yet they could not exist without those that hang on their every word. Enter the second and most crucial ingredient. A lemming-esque viewing public that apparently has nothing better to do with their lives than worry about which town or team gets to have the dubious privilege of paying some basketball player $20 million a year.
Personally, yours truly couldn't care less where James, Anthony, and the rest of them wind up playing. They can "take their talents" to Miami, NY, Chicago, LA, Cleveland, or any other NBA team. They can go to Europe, Asia, Neptune, or sign on with the Klingon D-league if the money is right. Or they can retire tomorrow. Players and coaches have always come and gone. Even franchises have relocated from one city to another. Contrary to what the yappy heads would have many believe, the current NBA sub-plots are hardly earth-shaking news. Stuff happens. Life goes on. For that matter, most of the spectacles have been a media creation in the first place. Without their constant droning of theories, possibilities, analyses, opinions, predictions, and a gullible public to sell them to, none of this would be big news.
But that seems to be the problem indeed. P.T. Barnum was absolutely right back in his day when he said a sucker was born every minute. Nowadays, there's thousands of them hatching every time the latest "breaking news" flash comes along -- which is about every five minutes.
Phineas Taylor Barnum became a very rich man, but he died in 1891, long before television was even dreamed of. Yet he would likely be proud of the NBA circus that is currently going on under Adam Silver's watch. Give P.T. the same amount of cable channels with their talking heads, and internet sensationalism today, and forget about being the NBA Commish. With that kind of pub, he might be sitting in the Oval Office.
The people that typically reside there also depend on suckers to buy into what they're selling. But that's a story for another day....
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
A dark day in Brazil
The Brazilian national futbol team was without their best player due to injury, and their captain due to being suspended. Still, nobody could have foreseen what would happen to them in their World Cup semi-final match against Germany.
7-1? Nobody scores seven goals in soccer, from little kids, to preps, to college, to pros. And certainly not at the elite level of the World Cup. But it happened.
This went beyond a rout. It was a beatdown, a blow-out, a slaughter. What comes after slaughter? Beats me, but whatever it is, it was that too. Brutal.
On a bit of a lighter note, the Brazilians have long been known for their futbollers' going by a single name. In years past they featured such greats as Pele and Ronaldo. Nobody seemed to know their last names and nobody cared. For the record, Pele's real name was Edson Arantes do Nascimento. How that got shortened to Pele is a very good question. The Brazilians once even featured a Socrates on their team. Socrates? Holy hemlock. Really? They had another great player that went by the name of Kaka. The possible origin of that name tempts a devious mind, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to go there. One never knows when God, sometimes known as an editor, might be checking out their stuff.
Indeed, this year, the Brazilians had a Hulk, a Fred, and an Oscar starting for their soccer team. It is unknown whether they are related to, or descendants of, Mr. Hogan, Mr. Flintstone, and that grouchy muppet, respectively.
Yet given the trouncing their national team just took, things are not good in Brazil right now, and might get a lot worse in the days to come.
Consider that thousands, if not millions of the natives were already quite restless. Prior to the World Cup starting in their country, hordes of common folks were protesting across the nation because their government was spending billions preparing for the Cup and upcoming 2016 summer Olympics they will also host, while a large percentage of their citizens continue to remain impoverished.
Had Brazil won the World Cup, all such differences would have likely been put aside -- at least for a little while. In soccer crazy Brazil, the celebration would have been incredible. Americans still fondly remember the "Miracle On Ice", when a conglomeration of their college kids improbably defeated the might Soviet Red Army team during the semi-finals of the 1980 Olympics. The red, white, and blue was everywhere in the USA. National pride ruled. Democrats and Republicans even, gasp, hugged each other. Yet all that would have paled in comparison to the ultimate ecstasy Brazilians would have experienced had their soccer team gone on to be crowned champions of the quadrennial world futbol tournament, particularly winning it in their own country.
But as we all now know, it didn't go down that way. Instead, the Brazilian team was humiliated at home by the Germans with the whole world watching. 7-1? Wow. Quite the drubbing.
What will happen next in Brazil after such a crushing defeat, as the populace turns their thoughts away from futbol and get back to the realities of every day life remains to be seen.
But there's a very good chance it won't be a pretty sight. Yes, they still have to play a "consolation" match against the loser of the Argentina/Netherlands game, but in Brazil, the difference between coming in 3rd or 4th in futbol is totally irrelevant. It would be like an American "dream team" losing in the basketball semis of the Olympics. Anything short of the gold would be deemed a colossal failure.
Such are the expectations of the Brazilians in soccer. And considering their other societal issues, their dream team being humbled the way they were likely won't sit very well with the masses.
Here's wishing them all the best, but methinks dark days, and nights, might be heading their way -- and that right soon.
7-1? Nobody scores seven goals in soccer, from little kids, to preps, to college, to pros. And certainly not at the elite level of the World Cup. But it happened.
This went beyond a rout. It was a beatdown, a blow-out, a slaughter. What comes after slaughter? Beats me, but whatever it is, it was that too. Brutal.
On a bit of a lighter note, the Brazilians have long been known for their futbollers' going by a single name. In years past they featured such greats as Pele and Ronaldo. Nobody seemed to know their last names and nobody cared. For the record, Pele's real name was Edson Arantes do Nascimento. How that got shortened to Pele is a very good question. The Brazilians once even featured a Socrates on their team. Socrates? Holy hemlock. Really? They had another great player that went by the name of Kaka. The possible origin of that name tempts a devious mind, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to go there. One never knows when God, sometimes known as an editor, might be checking out their stuff.
Indeed, this year, the Brazilians had a Hulk, a Fred, and an Oscar starting for their soccer team. It is unknown whether they are related to, or descendants of, Mr. Hogan, Mr. Flintstone, and that grouchy muppet, respectively.
Yet given the trouncing their national team just took, things are not good in Brazil right now, and might get a lot worse in the days to come.
Consider that thousands, if not millions of the natives were already quite restless. Prior to the World Cup starting in their country, hordes of common folks were protesting across the nation because their government was spending billions preparing for the Cup and upcoming 2016 summer Olympics they will also host, while a large percentage of their citizens continue to remain impoverished.
Had Brazil won the World Cup, all such differences would have likely been put aside -- at least for a little while. In soccer crazy Brazil, the celebration would have been incredible. Americans still fondly remember the "Miracle On Ice", when a conglomeration of their college kids improbably defeated the might Soviet Red Army team during the semi-finals of the 1980 Olympics. The red, white, and blue was everywhere in the USA. National pride ruled. Democrats and Republicans even, gasp, hugged each other. Yet all that would have paled in comparison to the ultimate ecstasy Brazilians would have experienced had their soccer team gone on to be crowned champions of the quadrennial world futbol tournament, particularly winning it in their own country.
But as we all now know, it didn't go down that way. Instead, the Brazilian team was humiliated at home by the Germans with the whole world watching. 7-1? Wow. Quite the drubbing.
What will happen next in Brazil after such a crushing defeat, as the populace turns their thoughts away from futbol and get back to the realities of every day life remains to be seen.
But there's a very good chance it won't be a pretty sight. Yes, they still have to play a "consolation" match against the loser of the Argentina/Netherlands game, but in Brazil, the difference between coming in 3rd or 4th in futbol is totally irrelevant. It would be like an American "dream team" losing in the basketball semis of the Olympics. Anything short of the gold would be deemed a colossal failure.
Such are the expectations of the Brazilians in soccer. And considering their other societal issues, their dream team being humbled the way they were likely won't sit very well with the masses.
Here's wishing them all the best, but methinks dark days, and nights, might be heading their way -- and that right soon.
The amazing parity of Major League Baseball
This season in MLB has been interesting. The Detroit Tigers came roaring out of the gate and established a 7 game lead in their division. They would then go into a slump and give it all back. Then they got hot again for a short while to climb back to the top, but just recently they dropped 3 out of 4, at home, to the last place Tampa Bays Rays (who just went 10-2 on a road trip -- go figure).
The same can be said for San Francisco. They started out like Giants indeed opening up a big lead in the NL west, then went into a tail-spin, and currently find themselves in a nip and tuck battle with the LA Dodgers for first place.
In the AL East, the Toronto Blue Jays were once sitting comfortably on top, but they tanked, the Baltimore Orioles quietly got semi-hot while everybody else was mediocre, and now the O birds find themselves on top by a couple games.
Similar battles are going on between the Oakland As and LA Angels in the AL West, and the Atlanta Braves and Washington Nationals in the NL East.
For a while the Milwaukee Brewers were heads and shoulders above everybody else percentage wise, but they've come back to earth somewhat and only lead the NL Central by 4 1/2. Hardly an insurmountable lead with over 70 games remaining.
With roughly half the season yet to be played, which teams will wind up in the playoffs is anybody's guess. Teams like the Yankees, Cardinals , Red, Marlins, Indians, Pirates, are all no more than a handful of games out their division leads. If any one of them gets on a roll -- who knows?
And that's the thing about MLB. Parity. Sure, on paper, one team can supposedly have the best pitching staff in the game, another might be the best hitting team, still another might be the most talented overall, considering defense, speed, and other intangibles. But when any game actually starts, nobody would doubt who will win is little more than a coin flip. The team with the best record in all of MLB might well get swept in a series by the team with the worst record. It happens.
Consider that a baseball team that wins 97 games over the course of the season would be hailed as excellent. That would be a winning percentage of .600. Yes, occasionally a team will win over 100 games, but it's getting rarer in recent years.
Further consider just exactly what a winning % of .600 consists of. Out of every 10 games, the really good teams win 6. If just one of those games goes the other way, they drop to .500, the epitome of mediocre.
The really "bad" teams check in somewhere in the .400 range. One more win out of ten and they become average. It's not like they're getting slaughtered every time out. For that matter, as mentioned above, a last place team in MLB can knock off a first place team on any given night, and it comes as no great surprise. Happens all the time.
Look around the league(s). Right now, the Oakland As are the best of the bunch while posting a 55-33 record. The media would crow they're a whopping 22 games over .500, and technically they have a point. But actually, over the course of 88 games, they've won 11 more than they've lost, for a winning % of .625. Looked at from that perspective, it doesn't seem so impressive. Winning 6 out of 10 is the best in all of MLB? While being excellent in baseball, merely winning almost 6 out of 10 every year might get coaches fired elsewhere in sports. Like several NBA and NFL teams and their fans that have become accustomed to a standard of excellence far higher than a mere .625.
And right now, the Houston Astros are bringing up the rear in all of MLB with a .400 winning percentage. The difference between them and top dogs Oakland? About two games in ten. On any given day or night between any two teams in MLB -- ya never know. A recent Cy Young award winning pitcher might get out-dueled by some kid recently called up from the minors. A team with a bunch of sluggers leading the league in home runs and/or batting average might get beat 10-0 by another team known for their anemic hitting and "small ball". That happens sometimes too.
Whether or not parity in MLB is a good thing is certainly open to debate. It's probably good that some teams can't buy their way into championships anymore. And it's nice to see "new blood" win a title here and there. Even blood that's older than Dracula's can be a refreshing change of pace if they somehow manage to win a World Series after a long drought. Loved the Bosox a few years ago, and never lose the faith, Chi-town northsiders. One century soon, your Cubbies will rise from the ashes like the Phoenix and -- hmm -- the Suns are almost as bad as the Diamondbacks. Bad analogy. Sorry.
Odds are the parity thing has to fall your way eventually. But it will happen if you live long enough and keep believing. Yes, you might have to have the longevity of, say, a giant sequoia tree or an old testament biblical patriarch, but things could be worse, ya know.
You could be a Detroit Lions' fan. At least Cubs' fans have learned not to expect to win, and don't have a local media trying to sell them snake oil every year as to the grand possibilities of their team if everything falls just right. Football fans around Motown are suckers for that. Always have been. But they're not going to get within sniffing range of a championship any year soon either. Most times accepting reality is a good thing in the long run. Saves the inevitable heartbreak later.
If you know in your mind and heart that your team is a loser, then why not just kick back and enjoy it for what it is? That's why they remain the loveable Cubbies, while the Lions wind up as punch lines on late night TV. They take themselves too seriously, with their kool-aided media fanning the flames every year, when they know, or should know, the Lions have ZERO chance at winning the Super Bowl. But I digress.
No doubt, teams will go up and teams will go down in the second half of the MLB season. Winning streaks here, and losing streaks there. Such is the nature of the game. The "best" team doesn't always win, because the difference between best and worst is pretty thin at the major league level. Everybody on a big league roster beat out thousand of other guys just to get there. In other words, the last player on the bench or in the bullpen for the last place team is really good.
The stat monsters can keep coming up with stats from hell that nobody ever heard of before. There's something called sabermetrics which is all the rage these days, though the average fan has no idea what it consists of, and mostly doesn't care, because it doesn't matter.
In the end, the only thing that matters, like it has since the inception of MLB well over 100 years ago, is wins and losses. Win 6 out of 10 for the whole season, and guaranteed that team is going to the playoffs. Win 4 out of 10, and guaranteed that team won't. Post somewhere near a .500 record and, depending on what division a team is playing in -- they could actually qualify. In other words, mediocrity, see parity, is sometimes good enough.
And once the playoffs start, MLB's ridiculous one-game knockout preliminary aside, anybody can beat anybody else in the best 4 out of 7 series. Yes, in the NFL, a lower seed can rise up on any given Sunday to knock off a favorite in a playoff game. One or two unlikely plays here and there can often make the difference. The NHL has certainly seen its share of lower seeds go on to win the Stanley Cup in recent years. In the NBA -- not so much. Everybody knows going into the playoffs that only 3-4 teams have a legitimate chance of winning the title, and higher seeds typically prevail over those same 7 game series'.
But baseball is different. Come October, it truly is a crap shoot. A team that won their division by 15 games can sometimes go down to a team that barely qualified as a wild card. Ya never know....
The same can be said for San Francisco. They started out like Giants indeed opening up a big lead in the NL west, then went into a tail-spin, and currently find themselves in a nip and tuck battle with the LA Dodgers for first place.
In the AL East, the Toronto Blue Jays were once sitting comfortably on top, but they tanked, the Baltimore Orioles quietly got semi-hot while everybody else was mediocre, and now the O birds find themselves on top by a couple games.
Similar battles are going on between the Oakland As and LA Angels in the AL West, and the Atlanta Braves and Washington Nationals in the NL East.
For a while the Milwaukee Brewers were heads and shoulders above everybody else percentage wise, but they've come back to earth somewhat and only lead the NL Central by 4 1/2. Hardly an insurmountable lead with over 70 games remaining.
With roughly half the season yet to be played, which teams will wind up in the playoffs is anybody's guess. Teams like the Yankees, Cardinals , Red, Marlins, Indians, Pirates, are all no more than a handful of games out their division leads. If any one of them gets on a roll -- who knows?
And that's the thing about MLB. Parity. Sure, on paper, one team can supposedly have the best pitching staff in the game, another might be the best hitting team, still another might be the most talented overall, considering defense, speed, and other intangibles. But when any game actually starts, nobody would doubt who will win is little more than a coin flip. The team with the best record in all of MLB might well get swept in a series by the team with the worst record. It happens.
Consider that a baseball team that wins 97 games over the course of the season would be hailed as excellent. That would be a winning percentage of .600. Yes, occasionally a team will win over 100 games, but it's getting rarer in recent years.
Further consider just exactly what a winning % of .600 consists of. Out of every 10 games, the really good teams win 6. If just one of those games goes the other way, they drop to .500, the epitome of mediocre.
The really "bad" teams check in somewhere in the .400 range. One more win out of ten and they become average. It's not like they're getting slaughtered every time out. For that matter, as mentioned above, a last place team in MLB can knock off a first place team on any given night, and it comes as no great surprise. Happens all the time.
Look around the league(s). Right now, the Oakland As are the best of the bunch while posting a 55-33 record. The media would crow they're a whopping 22 games over .500, and technically they have a point. But actually, over the course of 88 games, they've won 11 more than they've lost, for a winning % of .625. Looked at from that perspective, it doesn't seem so impressive. Winning 6 out of 10 is the best in all of MLB? While being excellent in baseball, merely winning almost 6 out of 10 every year might get coaches fired elsewhere in sports. Like several NBA and NFL teams and their fans that have become accustomed to a standard of excellence far higher than a mere .625.
And right now, the Houston Astros are bringing up the rear in all of MLB with a .400 winning percentage. The difference between them and top dogs Oakland? About two games in ten. On any given day or night between any two teams in MLB -- ya never know. A recent Cy Young award winning pitcher might get out-dueled by some kid recently called up from the minors. A team with a bunch of sluggers leading the league in home runs and/or batting average might get beat 10-0 by another team known for their anemic hitting and "small ball". That happens sometimes too.
Whether or not parity in MLB is a good thing is certainly open to debate. It's probably good that some teams can't buy their way into championships anymore. And it's nice to see "new blood" win a title here and there. Even blood that's older than Dracula's can be a refreshing change of pace if they somehow manage to win a World Series after a long drought. Loved the Bosox a few years ago, and never lose the faith, Chi-town northsiders. One century soon, your Cubbies will rise from the ashes like the Phoenix and -- hmm -- the Suns are almost as bad as the Diamondbacks. Bad analogy. Sorry.
Odds are the parity thing has to fall your way eventually. But it will happen if you live long enough and keep believing. Yes, you might have to have the longevity of, say, a giant sequoia tree or an old testament biblical patriarch, but things could be worse, ya know.
You could be a Detroit Lions' fan. At least Cubs' fans have learned not to expect to win, and don't have a local media trying to sell them snake oil every year as to the grand possibilities of their team if everything falls just right. Football fans around Motown are suckers for that. Always have been. But they're not going to get within sniffing range of a championship any year soon either. Most times accepting reality is a good thing in the long run. Saves the inevitable heartbreak later.
If you know in your mind and heart that your team is a loser, then why not just kick back and enjoy it for what it is? That's why they remain the loveable Cubbies, while the Lions wind up as punch lines on late night TV. They take themselves too seriously, with their kool-aided media fanning the flames every year, when they know, or should know, the Lions have ZERO chance at winning the Super Bowl. But I digress.
No doubt, teams will go up and teams will go down in the second half of the MLB season. Winning streaks here, and losing streaks there. Such is the nature of the game. The "best" team doesn't always win, because the difference between best and worst is pretty thin at the major league level. Everybody on a big league roster beat out thousand of other guys just to get there. In other words, the last player on the bench or in the bullpen for the last place team is really good.
The stat monsters can keep coming up with stats from hell that nobody ever heard of before. There's something called sabermetrics which is all the rage these days, though the average fan has no idea what it consists of, and mostly doesn't care, because it doesn't matter.
In the end, the only thing that matters, like it has since the inception of MLB well over 100 years ago, is wins and losses. Win 6 out of 10 for the whole season, and guaranteed that team is going to the playoffs. Win 4 out of 10, and guaranteed that team won't. Post somewhere near a .500 record and, depending on what division a team is playing in -- they could actually qualify. In other words, mediocrity, see parity, is sometimes good enough.
And once the playoffs start, MLB's ridiculous one-game knockout preliminary aside, anybody can beat anybody else in the best 4 out of 7 series. Yes, in the NFL, a lower seed can rise up on any given Sunday to knock off a favorite in a playoff game. One or two unlikely plays here and there can often make the difference. The NHL has certainly seen its share of lower seeds go on to win the Stanley Cup in recent years. In the NBA -- not so much. Everybody knows going into the playoffs that only 3-4 teams have a legitimate chance of winning the title, and higher seeds typically prevail over those same 7 game series'.
But baseball is different. Come October, it truly is a crap shoot. A team that won their division by 15 games can sometimes go down to a team that barely qualified as a wild card. Ya never know....
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