So the Wolverettes of UM lost another one, this time to the Scarlet Knights of Rutgers. Though in days of yore this would have been considered an outrage by the Maize and Blue faithful, it hardly comes as a surprise these days. After all, the 2 point margin of defeat was exactly what the wise guys in Vegas predicted on the point spread. Yet some things with the Michigan football program are so obviously out of whack, they border on the unbelievable.
First and foremost are head coach Brady Hoke and his boss, athletic director David Brandon. Forget Batman and Robin. These guys are to a major college football program what Bud and Lou, or Stan and Ollie would be to fighting crime. Unbelievable.
As mentioned previously in this space, Brandon, in his infinite wisdom, extended Hoke's contract for 7, count -em, SEVEN years after their team had just been walloped at home by Utah. That was two games after they'd been skunked 31-0 at Notre Dame. The following week, Minnesota would come to town, and thrash UM in their own Big House to reclaim the Little Brown Jug for only the second time in over two decades. Supposedly, one of the terms of that albatross, check that, pterodactyl contract was Hoke had to wear a headset so he would know what's going on with his coaches and players. He still doesn't. Unbelievable.
Hoke and Brandon were both roasted coast to coast following the Minnesota beatdown, because Hoke had allowed an obviously injured and concussed QB, one Shane Morris, to re-enter the game. The guy could barely stand up. It's not very often you see students and alumni gathering signatures and protesting on campus for the firing of their head football coach and AD. But it happened in Ann Arbor. Of course the "brain trust" got together and went into damage control mode. They had to come up with SOMETHING. So they chalked up the whole mess to a lack of communication. They swore it would be promptly fixed.
The very next week, as in yesterday, against Rutgers, Hoke STILL wasn't wearing a headset. There's confidence, there's arrogance, and there's even ignorance. But after being held up to national ridicule and disgrace for the Morris debacle, a reasonable person might conclude Brandon would demand, and Hoke would wear a headset so this Cool Hand Lukish "failure to communicate" might not rear it's ugly head again. But no. Not Brady. Evidently his idea of being a head coach is patrolling the sidelines and occasionally shouting "LET'S GO!!. In this day and age of head coaches having their hands on all the various heartbeats of a team, that goes beyond unbelievable. It's cluelessness to the infinite power. Therefore it should come as no great surprise the only teams Michigan seems capable of beating are lower division patsies at home. Against even mediocre competition they get torched.
But let's not forget where Hoke came from. Before his recent stint at UM, he racked up a yawner record of 47-50 during eight years at Ball State and San Diego State. No self-respecting college football power would normally even consider him as a new head coach. But that's where Michigan deviates from the norm. After the disastrous reign of Rich Rodriguez, UM, and Brandon in particular wanted a "by gawd" Michigan man in charge again. Turned out, before his not-so-successful tenures at Ball State and San Diego State, Hoke had been an "assistant" with the Michigan program for the previous 8 years. In Michigan football philosophy, that meant Hoke came with a pedigree. One word. Unbelievable.
The once mighty Michigan football program that used to chew up and spit out "lesser" opponents has now become cannon fodder themselves. Every school always wanted to play at Michigan, even if they knew their team would likely get blown out in the Big House. Why? Because it was a huge payday that would go a long way financing their athletic department. Nowadays, everybody wants to play Michigan for a quite different reason. Why? Because besides getting TV exposure they might not otherwise have, they're confident they can BEAT them. My oh my. How the worm has turned.
Unbelievable.
And Indiana comes to the Big House next week. That used to be a gimme game for UM. Not any more. The Hoosiers might well waltz into Ann Arbor and add yet another slap in the face to the Brady Bunch.
But Brady Hoke, with the full backing of David Brandon, will keep merrily, if cluelessly marching along to their own delusional fight song.
Which raises a couple more points about Michigan. What gives with their fight song anyway? Hail to the victors, champions of the west?
West of what? Ann Arbor's in the eastern time zone. Always has been. And before Penn State joined the Big 10 a few years back (and now Rutgers and Maryland), UM was the easternmost school in the entire conference since it WAS a conference. Hello? You'd think they could at least get THAT right.
Unbelievable......
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Comerica Park vs Camden Yards
It's comical to read what some Detroit area scribes have to say about Camden Yards, home of the Baltimore Orioles. They refer to it as a "band box" ballpark, like it's some kind of second class Little League facility. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Though now roughly 20 years old, Camden Yards remains one of the most beautiful -- and fan friendly venues in all of baseball. It's got something for everybody, and there's not a bad seat in the house. Though it's capacity is a modest 47000+, unlike Comerica Park in Detroit, there are no nose-bleed seats. The architects of Camden Yards took fan input into account before designing the stadium. Imagine that. The folks ponying up the big bucks for tickets wanted to be relatively close to the action -- and they got their wish. For the high rollers, there's over 4600 "club" seats and 72 luxury boxes available. To date, Camden Yards is still ranked #3 in all of baseball, as far as design, beauty, fan friendliness, and practicality. Comerica Park in Detroit, much newer, isn't even in the top 10.
But maybe by "band box", the scribes refer to the actual dimensions of the playing field. Well OK, overall, from left field foul pole, to left-center, to dead center, to right-center, to right field foul pole, Camden Yards is roughly 10 feet shorter. But it has higher outfield walls than Comerica Park. So it's pretty much a push when it comes to long balls.
What Detroit homers tend to forget is the original design of Comerica Park. Shortly after being built, it had to be reconfigured. That was because everybody, including the Tiger hitters themselves, were complaining about the ridiculous distance required to hit a home run to left field. Long shots that would be a home run in any other stadium would die and be caught in the original ill-configured dimensions of Comerica. So quietly, they moved the bullpens from the hinterlands of right-center field into left field, and brought the fence in accordingly to accomodate them. The powers that be in Detroit can be a little slow on the up-take at times, but credit to them for finally catching on to the obvious.
At that, Camden Yards got its name from an old railroad depot. Tradition runs deep in Baltimore. They can boast of Edgar Allen Poe, Francis Scott Key composing our national anthem, and some mighty fine crabcakes to this day. Good stuff.
Conversely, billionaire pizza man Mike Ilitch, owner of the Detroit Tigers, leaned on the tax payers to finance a new stadium for his club, then promptly sold the naming rights to a huge bank. Cha-ching. Tradition seems to run deep in Detroit as well. They can boast of Kwame Kilpatrick and the largest city bankrupty in US history.
So because the Orioles are one game away from brooming the Tigers out of the playoffs, perhaps the home town Detroit scribes are getting in their last licks. I smell sour grapes.
Band box indeed. Detroit can't even afford a band. They're broke -- remember?
Though now roughly 20 years old, Camden Yards remains one of the most beautiful -- and fan friendly venues in all of baseball. It's got something for everybody, and there's not a bad seat in the house. Though it's capacity is a modest 47000+, unlike Comerica Park in Detroit, there are no nose-bleed seats. The architects of Camden Yards took fan input into account before designing the stadium. Imagine that. The folks ponying up the big bucks for tickets wanted to be relatively close to the action -- and they got their wish. For the high rollers, there's over 4600 "club" seats and 72 luxury boxes available. To date, Camden Yards is still ranked #3 in all of baseball, as far as design, beauty, fan friendliness, and practicality. Comerica Park in Detroit, much newer, isn't even in the top 10.
But maybe by "band box", the scribes refer to the actual dimensions of the playing field. Well OK, overall, from left field foul pole, to left-center, to dead center, to right-center, to right field foul pole, Camden Yards is roughly 10 feet shorter. But it has higher outfield walls than Comerica Park. So it's pretty much a push when it comes to long balls.
What Detroit homers tend to forget is the original design of Comerica Park. Shortly after being built, it had to be reconfigured. That was because everybody, including the Tiger hitters themselves, were complaining about the ridiculous distance required to hit a home run to left field. Long shots that would be a home run in any other stadium would die and be caught in the original ill-configured dimensions of Comerica. So quietly, they moved the bullpens from the hinterlands of right-center field into left field, and brought the fence in accordingly to accomodate them. The powers that be in Detroit can be a little slow on the up-take at times, but credit to them for finally catching on to the obvious.
At that, Camden Yards got its name from an old railroad depot. Tradition runs deep in Baltimore. They can boast of Edgar Allen Poe, Francis Scott Key composing our national anthem, and some mighty fine crabcakes to this day. Good stuff.
Conversely, billionaire pizza man Mike Ilitch, owner of the Detroit Tigers, leaned on the tax payers to finance a new stadium for his club, then promptly sold the naming rights to a huge bank. Cha-ching. Tradition seems to run deep in Detroit as well. They can boast of Kwame Kilpatrick and the largest city bankrupty in US history.
So because the Orioles are one game away from brooming the Tigers out of the playoffs, perhaps the home town Detroit scribes are getting in their last licks. I smell sour grapes.
Band box indeed. Detroit can't even afford a band. They're broke -- remember?
Friday, October 3, 2014
LA/StL/Det/Balt. Damn right
Adam Wainwright of the St. Louis Cardinals is an ace pitcher. He didn't make it 5 innings against the Dodgers in Game 1 of their playoff series. Clayton Kershaw of the Dodgers is pretty much a lock for this year's NL Cy Young award, and maybe even MVP. He got blasted off the mound in the seventh inning. The Cardinals would go on to defeat the Dodgers 10-9.
In the Baltimore/Detroit matchup, they've combined for 28 runs over the first two games -- with the Orioles scoring most of them. Reigning Cyster Max Scherzer took the loss in the first, and former Cyster Justin Verlander couldn't get it done in the second. The third leg of their Denton True Young award winners, one David Price, is up next in a couple days. Will he throw a gem to stave off elimination for the Tigers -- or get pummeled like his brethren before him the last couple days? Hard to say. Turns out -- even minus three of their key position players due to injury or suspension -- these Orioles can flat-out hit. It's no coincidence they quietly racked up the best record in all of baseball over the regular season, while leading in a few offensive categories -- most notably home runs.
Remember the old maxim "good pitching beats good hitting"? Not this year in the playoffs so far. Given the above-mentioned 4 teams over only 3 games, they've racked up almost 50 runs.
And ya know what? Damn right. This is fun to watch. Hit and runs, stolen bases, doubles, triples, homers, guys flying around the basepaths and sliding here and there on close plays? Great stuff.
Sure, there are still those that will pooh-pooh the offensive explosion we have seen so far. Some would prefer a "classic" pitchers' duel. You know, a 1-0 game with a bunch of strikeouts along the way on both sides. They continue to fail to realize that such a game is BORING for fans. Baseball fans, like most other people these days, want and need to be constantly stimulated. The huge success of social media like Facebook and Twitter is proof positive of that. Nobody wants to sit around a ballpark, or in front of a TV, and be bored into a coma by a 1-0 game. They want action -- dammit. Teams hitting the ball all over the park and scoring a bunch of runs will keep fans on their feet screaming their heads off. A pitcher's duel might result in polite applause on occasion. A big difference.
But still, some old-schoolers and purists remain. They are likely in an indignant huff over how such good pitchers could be banged around. Well then. I have a suggestion.
If you want to be old school, apply for a talking head position at Fox. Rupert Murdoch is fond of people like you. And if you want to be a purist -- go join a religious sect that eschews electricity and automobiles. They prefer candles and clop through the countryside on horse-drawn carriages. And as a bonus, you'll learn how to be really good at building barns and "miracle" space heaters. THAT is being a true purist.
In the meantime, shut up when it comes to baseball. We real fans are loving the fast-paced, high-scoring action we've seen so far.
In the Baltimore/Detroit matchup, they've combined for 28 runs over the first two games -- with the Orioles scoring most of them. Reigning Cyster Max Scherzer took the loss in the first, and former Cyster Justin Verlander couldn't get it done in the second. The third leg of their Denton True Young award winners, one David Price, is up next in a couple days. Will he throw a gem to stave off elimination for the Tigers -- or get pummeled like his brethren before him the last couple days? Hard to say. Turns out -- even minus three of their key position players due to injury or suspension -- these Orioles can flat-out hit. It's no coincidence they quietly racked up the best record in all of baseball over the regular season, while leading in a few offensive categories -- most notably home runs.
Remember the old maxim "good pitching beats good hitting"? Not this year in the playoffs so far. Given the above-mentioned 4 teams over only 3 games, they've racked up almost 50 runs.
And ya know what? Damn right. This is fun to watch. Hit and runs, stolen bases, doubles, triples, homers, guys flying around the basepaths and sliding here and there on close plays? Great stuff.
Sure, there are still those that will pooh-pooh the offensive explosion we have seen so far. Some would prefer a "classic" pitchers' duel. You know, a 1-0 game with a bunch of strikeouts along the way on both sides. They continue to fail to realize that such a game is BORING for fans. Baseball fans, like most other people these days, want and need to be constantly stimulated. The huge success of social media like Facebook and Twitter is proof positive of that. Nobody wants to sit around a ballpark, or in front of a TV, and be bored into a coma by a 1-0 game. They want action -- dammit. Teams hitting the ball all over the park and scoring a bunch of runs will keep fans on their feet screaming their heads off. A pitcher's duel might result in polite applause on occasion. A big difference.
But still, some old-schoolers and purists remain. They are likely in an indignant huff over how such good pitchers could be banged around. Well then. I have a suggestion.
If you want to be old school, apply for a talking head position at Fox. Rupert Murdoch is fond of people like you. And if you want to be a purist -- go join a religious sect that eschews electricity and automobiles. They prefer candles and clop through the countryside on horse-drawn carriages. And as a bonus, you'll learn how to be really good at building barns and "miracle" space heaters. THAT is being a true purist.
In the meantime, shut up when it comes to baseball. We real fans are loving the fast-paced, high-scoring action we've seen so far.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Detroit Tigers. Exactly as advertised
In Game 1 of an American League playoff series, the Baltimore Orioles trashed the Detroit Tigers 12-3. OK, sometimes blow-outs happen and it's just one game. But it exposed the Tigers for EXACTLY what they are. And are not.
Much has been made of their starting pitching rotation, but when one looks closer, is it really that great? Yes, reigning Cy Young winner Max Scherzer (who took the loss in the above-mentioned game) has had another outstanding season. But former Cyster himself Justin Verlander was far from remarkable during the 2014 season. He won a couple more than he lost. Free agent acquisition (another former Cy) David Price is supposed to be an ace. But his record this year puts him in the average category with Verlander. Rick Porcello started out hot for the first few months, then swooned badly in September. Anabel Sanchez is fresh off the DL and Tigers don't know what to do with him. Playoff baseball only requires three starting pitchers.
Hitting wise -- the Tigers have two sluggers and a bunch of other guys they hope can contribute here and there at the right times.
They lack team speed, and their overall defense in the field is mediocre.
It's certainly no secret their bullpen is shaky at best.
And the game against the Orioles featured it all. Scherzer's an excellent pitcher, but not unbeatable, and he got tagged for 5 runs against a very good hitting team. The game was still close when Max exited in the 8th inning. Enter the bullpen. Enter batting practice for the Orioles. Against a parade of Tiger relievers, they were hitting the ball all over the park. They would go on to post a "snowman", known in poker as an 8 spot in that inning, turning it into a total rout.
What will likely go unreported elsewhere is how the Orioles ran the bases during the blitz. They weren't afraid to go for an unlikely extra base and dare a Tiger outfielder to throw them out. And that's a problem. Because the Tigers don't have any outfielders with strong accurate arms.
Likely to no one's great surprise, Miguel Cabrera and Victor Martinez both hit home runs for the Tigers. They even managed to chase the Baltimore starter after 5 innings due to his pitch count. But unlike Detroit, the O-Birds have a deep and reliable bull pen. They came on and mowed them down, an inning at a time. When they needed a tough out -- they got it. The only tough outs the Tigers' relievers got were trudging back to the dugout after being lit up like a pinball machine.
And remember, the Orioles are doing this with 3 of their best position players not available. Two were lost for the season due to injury, and the other continues to serve a ridiculous "drug" suspension for taking prescribed meds that were OK with baseball last year -- but not OK this year -- only because he didn't ask for permission. The government has nothing on Major League Baseball when it comes to bureaucratic stupidity.
But again, this one game showed off exactly what the Tigers are and aren't. The starting pitcher went into the 8th inning, a couple sluggers hit home runs along the way, and the hit or miss with the rest of the lineup missed this time. Then the bullpen self-destructed. Not to beat deceased equines, but did you know the Tigers ranked dead last in runs given up from the 7th inning on over the course of the season? That stat took another serious hit with the snowman mentioned above.
Still, it's only one game. Now the Puddy Tats face the daunting task of taking 3 out of 4 from the O-birds to move on. It's certainly possible. The Fastball Flakes man himself, Justin Verlander, is up next. (Question: Do they still make that stuff? Yours truly hasn't seen it on supermarket shelves in quite a while.)
Regardless, JV needs to be in his former Cy mode rather than how he pitched earlier in the season. Cuz if the Motowners go down 2-zip to the Crabcakers, that seem to be gaining more confidence every day -- well -- while still not impossible -- let's just say the odds of prevailing will get very long.
The Orioles haven't been able to successfully turn out the lights on a playoff series in quite some time. But I'm pretty sure they could round up a fat lady to sing if and when they do. Too many of those all-you-can-eat crabcake buffets can turn even the most well intentioned woman into something that should have "Goodyear" or "MetLife" emblazened on it's outer apparel.
On to Game 2......
Much has been made of their starting pitching rotation, but when one looks closer, is it really that great? Yes, reigning Cy Young winner Max Scherzer (who took the loss in the above-mentioned game) has had another outstanding season. But former Cyster himself Justin Verlander was far from remarkable during the 2014 season. He won a couple more than he lost. Free agent acquisition (another former Cy) David Price is supposed to be an ace. But his record this year puts him in the average category with Verlander. Rick Porcello started out hot for the first few months, then swooned badly in September. Anabel Sanchez is fresh off the DL and Tigers don't know what to do with him. Playoff baseball only requires three starting pitchers.
Hitting wise -- the Tigers have two sluggers and a bunch of other guys they hope can contribute here and there at the right times.
They lack team speed, and their overall defense in the field is mediocre.
It's certainly no secret their bullpen is shaky at best.
And the game against the Orioles featured it all. Scherzer's an excellent pitcher, but not unbeatable, and he got tagged for 5 runs against a very good hitting team. The game was still close when Max exited in the 8th inning. Enter the bullpen. Enter batting practice for the Orioles. Against a parade of Tiger relievers, they were hitting the ball all over the park. They would go on to post a "snowman", known in poker as an 8 spot in that inning, turning it into a total rout.
What will likely go unreported elsewhere is how the Orioles ran the bases during the blitz. They weren't afraid to go for an unlikely extra base and dare a Tiger outfielder to throw them out. And that's a problem. Because the Tigers don't have any outfielders with strong accurate arms.
Likely to no one's great surprise, Miguel Cabrera and Victor Martinez both hit home runs for the Tigers. They even managed to chase the Baltimore starter after 5 innings due to his pitch count. But unlike Detroit, the O-Birds have a deep and reliable bull pen. They came on and mowed them down, an inning at a time. When they needed a tough out -- they got it. The only tough outs the Tigers' relievers got were trudging back to the dugout after being lit up like a pinball machine.
And remember, the Orioles are doing this with 3 of their best position players not available. Two were lost for the season due to injury, and the other continues to serve a ridiculous "drug" suspension for taking prescribed meds that were OK with baseball last year -- but not OK this year -- only because he didn't ask for permission. The government has nothing on Major League Baseball when it comes to bureaucratic stupidity.
But again, this one game showed off exactly what the Tigers are and aren't. The starting pitcher went into the 8th inning, a couple sluggers hit home runs along the way, and the hit or miss with the rest of the lineup missed this time. Then the bullpen self-destructed. Not to beat deceased equines, but did you know the Tigers ranked dead last in runs given up from the 7th inning on over the course of the season? That stat took another serious hit with the snowman mentioned above.
Still, it's only one game. Now the Puddy Tats face the daunting task of taking 3 out of 4 from the O-birds to move on. It's certainly possible. The Fastball Flakes man himself, Justin Verlander, is up next. (Question: Do they still make that stuff? Yours truly hasn't seen it on supermarket shelves in quite a while.)
Regardless, JV needs to be in his former Cy mode rather than how he pitched earlier in the season. Cuz if the Motowners go down 2-zip to the Crabcakers, that seem to be gaining more confidence every day -- well -- while still not impossible -- let's just say the odds of prevailing will get very long.
The Orioles haven't been able to successfully turn out the lights on a playoff series in quite some time. But I'm pretty sure they could round up a fat lady to sing if and when they do. Too many of those all-you-can-eat crabcake buffets can turn even the most well intentioned woman into something that should have "Goodyear" or "MetLife" emblazened on it's outer apparel.
On to Game 2......
October. Good and bad
Ah yes, the glorious month of October is upon us again. Theories vary as to how October originally got its name. Some say it was from Roman Emperor Octavian Caesar. Could be. Others surmise it has something to do with Reggie Jackson. Ridiculous, you say? Maybe. But how many Caesars are in the Hall of Fame? OK, that was bad.
The leaves on the trees are starting to turn into beautiful colors. That's good. In a few weeks, we'll be tasked with raking them all up. That's bad.
The NHL has started its preseason and the NBA is beginning to stir. That's good. Few will pay much attention to either until after the Super Bowl is over in February. That's probably bad.
The mighty NFL itself features Sunday TV triple-headers, sometimes Monday double-headers, and even a game on Thursday night. That's good. To my knowledge, in the last week or so, they haven't had a single player incident or other scandal which requires damage control. That's definitely good. After 4 weeks, the Arizona Cardinals and Cinci Bengals are the only undefeated teams? That's neither good nor bad -- just weird.
Major college football is heating up as the good teams start to plow through their tough conference schedules. That's good. The usual suspects remain atop the rankings. That's bad. It's refreshing when "new blood" comes along once in a while to make a splash on the national scene.
And speaking of major splashes, the Michigan football program has done a cannonball from the high dive platform. Not only is their team terrible on the field, but their head coach and athletic director are taking some justified heat over how they allowed a hobbled, concussed quarterback to re-enter a game when when they were already getting blown out. That's bad. The students and alumni in Ann Arbor had gathered thousands of signatures demanding these people be fired, and even staged a rally on campus. For a once proud program like UM -- that's REALLY bad.
All the stores are running specials on candy. That's good, if one has a sweet tooth. But at the end of October comes Halloween, when the Chinese army of costumed rug rats will swarm your doorstep demanding hand-outs. So much for the Reese's cups and Kit Kats you were saving for a special occasion. That's both good and bad. Good for the adorable little tykes to pig out on for a couple weeks, but bad for parents that don't have dental coverage when those pesky cavities come-a-calling in a couple years.
NASCAR has entered it's "Chase", their version of the playoffs. That's good. Albert Einstein on steroids couldn't figure out their complicated point system, let alone the average fan. Definitely bad.
The Europeans once again opened up a can of whup-ass on the Americans in the Ryder Cup. Good for the old world. Bad for the new one.
What's that? Justin Bieber just had his way with another paparazzo in Paris? Not good. Tell ya what. If you're a cameraman, or even a camerawoman, and you get throttled by the likes of the Bieb, then you weren't only bad to start with, as Sir Charles Barkley would say, yurr turrible. You need to get a safer job. Like maybe baking cookies for Hindu monks, origami to amuse the Pope, or perhaps a life-long "civil servant" totally buried in the mountain of bureaucracy. Nothing is safer than that. But being physically abused by Bieber is downright pitiful.
The leaves on the trees are starting to turn into beautiful colors. That's good. In a few weeks, we'll be tasked with raking them all up. That's bad.
The NHL has started its preseason and the NBA is beginning to stir. That's good. Few will pay much attention to either until after the Super Bowl is over in February. That's probably bad.
The mighty NFL itself features Sunday TV triple-headers, sometimes Monday double-headers, and even a game on Thursday night. That's good. To my knowledge, in the last week or so, they haven't had a single player incident or other scandal which requires damage control. That's definitely good. After 4 weeks, the Arizona Cardinals and Cinci Bengals are the only undefeated teams? That's neither good nor bad -- just weird.
Major college football is heating up as the good teams start to plow through their tough conference schedules. That's good. The usual suspects remain atop the rankings. That's bad. It's refreshing when "new blood" comes along once in a while to make a splash on the national scene.
And speaking of major splashes, the Michigan football program has done a cannonball from the high dive platform. Not only is their team terrible on the field, but their head coach and athletic director are taking some justified heat over how they allowed a hobbled, concussed quarterback to re-enter a game when when they were already getting blown out. That's bad. The students and alumni in Ann Arbor had gathered thousands of signatures demanding these people be fired, and even staged a rally on campus. For a once proud program like UM -- that's REALLY bad.
All the stores are running specials on candy. That's good, if one has a sweet tooth. But at the end of October comes Halloween, when the Chinese army of costumed rug rats will swarm your doorstep demanding hand-outs. So much for the Reese's cups and Kit Kats you were saving for a special occasion. That's both good and bad. Good for the adorable little tykes to pig out on for a couple weeks, but bad for parents that don't have dental coverage when those pesky cavities come-a-calling in a couple years.
NASCAR has entered it's "Chase", their version of the playoffs. That's good. Albert Einstein on steroids couldn't figure out their complicated point system, let alone the average fan. Definitely bad.
The Europeans once again opened up a can of whup-ass on the Americans in the Ryder Cup. Good for the old world. Bad for the new one.
What's that? Justin Bieber just had his way with another paparazzo in Paris? Not good. Tell ya what. If you're a cameraman, or even a camerawoman, and you get throttled by the likes of the Bieb, then you weren't only bad to start with, as Sir Charles Barkley would say, yurr turrible. You need to get a safer job. Like maybe baking cookies for Hindu monks, origami to amuse the Pope, or perhaps a life-long "civil servant" totally buried in the mountain of bureaucracy. Nothing is safer than that. But being physically abused by Bieber is downright pitiful.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Baseball playoffs and winos
It's long been a tradition in many sports that champions pop the corks on a bunch of bottles of champagne. Rarely do they actually drink it, but rather pour it over each others' heads and otherwise spray it around.
Somewhere, homeless winos watching these spectacles shed tears. What a colossal waste of the "good stuff". While hardly a wine connoisseur myself (yuck), how do I know this? Because the good stuff has corks. The cheap stuff has screw caps. And when it comes to celebrations, there's NEVER any screw caps.
And the winos have a point. Why waste so much prime bubbly when there's so many other less expensive options available that would do just as well?
Beer comes to mind. A few cases of long-necked Blatz or Milwaukee's Finest would serve the purpose at a far lower cost. Shake em up, pop the top, and presto -- instant booze fountains, sticky hair, and a custodian's nightmare. But OK, traditional dictates this be about wine.
Still, if they're not going to drink it, why not consider other more cost effective options? Give them a few cases of Mad Dog to go berserk with. In years past, yours truly has indeed seen people go berserk while under the influence of that stuff. A case, no pun intended, could be made it would better serve the common good of mankind for that particular brew to be sprayed around rather than ingested.
And there's another cheap wine company as yet another option. You know who they are, and they feature lots of different flavors to boot.
Break out a few cases of Green Apple Quickstep, Raspberry Hard-On Lemonade, Mountain Oysterberry, or even Pina's Colonada. The players won't know the difference. After an hour or so of celebrating, they just head to the showers and wash it all off anyway. The janitor with the mop bucket pops a couple T-Rex strength headache pills and goes to work cleaning up after the millionaires.
But this whole celebration thing has spun out of control. As an example, consider a wild-card playoff team from Major League Baseball. They popped the bubbly when they qualified for post-season play. After a one-game knockout with the other wild card, if victorious, they sprayed more good stuff around. The KC Royals and SF Giants are in this category.
If they're successful in their AL/NL division series playoff, a few more cases will bite the dust. Then on to the AL/NL championship series. A win there means pop, pop, pop times a couple hundred MORE bottles.
And oh my. Then the World Series. Put the high class French and Italian vineyards on notice. Whoever wins the Fall Classic is going to want a boatload of SERIOUSLY good stuff for the celebration afterwards. It just wouldn't do to pour a bottle of Blind Melon Chitlin over a billionaire owner's head in his locker room, when a few thousand more measly bucks (ironically enough -- of his money) could have resulted in His Highness being treated to the gentle flow of Chateau Le Riche, vintage old, lovingly cascading over his tete and finely tailored suit. Pretty sure an owner wouldn't want to be hosed down with Rolling Rock.
Nevertheless, that's the point. Between qualifying for the playoffs and eventually becoming World Series champions, some team will have celebrated at least 4 times, and possibly 5. Count the other ones that fell along the way, but still partied in their locker rooms.
And that's a whole lot of liquor being wasted. It seems excessive, and could certainly be put to better use elsewhere.
Besides the winos mentioned above -- don't they realize there's sober people in China?
Somewhere, homeless winos watching these spectacles shed tears. What a colossal waste of the "good stuff". While hardly a wine connoisseur myself (yuck), how do I know this? Because the good stuff has corks. The cheap stuff has screw caps. And when it comes to celebrations, there's NEVER any screw caps.
And the winos have a point. Why waste so much prime bubbly when there's so many other less expensive options available that would do just as well?
Beer comes to mind. A few cases of long-necked Blatz or Milwaukee's Finest would serve the purpose at a far lower cost. Shake em up, pop the top, and presto -- instant booze fountains, sticky hair, and a custodian's nightmare. But OK, traditional dictates this be about wine.
Still, if they're not going to drink it, why not consider other more cost effective options? Give them a few cases of Mad Dog to go berserk with. In years past, yours truly has indeed seen people go berserk while under the influence of that stuff. A case, no pun intended, could be made it would better serve the common good of mankind for that particular brew to be sprayed around rather than ingested.
And there's another cheap wine company as yet another option. You know who they are, and they feature lots of different flavors to boot.
Break out a few cases of Green Apple Quickstep, Raspberry Hard-On Lemonade, Mountain Oysterberry, or even Pina's Colonada. The players won't know the difference. After an hour or so of celebrating, they just head to the showers and wash it all off anyway. The janitor with the mop bucket pops a couple T-Rex strength headache pills and goes to work cleaning up after the millionaires.
But this whole celebration thing has spun out of control. As an example, consider a wild-card playoff team from Major League Baseball. They popped the bubbly when they qualified for post-season play. After a one-game knockout with the other wild card, if victorious, they sprayed more good stuff around. The KC Royals and SF Giants are in this category.
If they're successful in their AL/NL division series playoff, a few more cases will bite the dust. Then on to the AL/NL championship series. A win there means pop, pop, pop times a couple hundred MORE bottles.
And oh my. Then the World Series. Put the high class French and Italian vineyards on notice. Whoever wins the Fall Classic is going to want a boatload of SERIOUSLY good stuff for the celebration afterwards. It just wouldn't do to pour a bottle of Blind Melon Chitlin over a billionaire owner's head in his locker room, when a few thousand more measly bucks (ironically enough -- of his money) could have resulted in His Highness being treated to the gentle flow of Chateau Le Riche, vintage old, lovingly cascading over his tete and finely tailored suit. Pretty sure an owner wouldn't want to be hosed down with Rolling Rock.
Nevertheless, that's the point. Between qualifying for the playoffs and eventually becoming World Series champions, some team will have celebrated at least 4 times, and possibly 5. Count the other ones that fell along the way, but still partied in their locker rooms.
And that's a whole lot of liquor being wasted. It seems excessive, and could certainly be put to better use elsewhere.
Besides the winos mentioned above -- don't they realize there's sober people in China?
KC/Oakland. A game for the ages
Now that was a helluva game. At KC, the As jumped in front 2-0, and the Royals came back to take a 3-2 lead. Oakland put up a 5 spot in the 6th inning to go ahead 7-3. But never giving up, KC clawed back to tie it 7-7. In extra innings, Oakland went ahead 8-7, only to have KC tie it again.
Finally, FINALLY the Royals prevailed, much to the delight of whatever fans were still sober and awake.
That means Oakland is done this year. Outta here.
It's ironic when you think about it. Earlier in the year, the As had zoomed off to a terrific first half of the season, with the best record in baseball. Then they made a couple block-buster trades obtaining some dynamite starting pitching. Alas, it cost them their clean-up hitter.
Instead of pulling even further away in their division -- they promptly went in the tank, not only blowing a once hefty lead, but finishing a full 10 games behind the LA Angels, to barely hang on to a wild card spot. No matter how one wishes to slice it and dice it, over the last few months the As have collapsed faster than Obama's approval ratings.
So now they get to go back to Hell's Angels land and try to figure out how and why the wheels came off their team when they were supposed to get even better. Billy better put his Beane to work.
Nevertheless, hats off to KC. They move on. But they're at distinct disadvantages going into the AL division playoff series against the LA Angels. Consider:
They used their best starting pitcher, James Shields, in the deciding win over Oakland. He'll be in the middle of the rotation against the Angels, and may or may not be available for more than one start.
The Royals have to fly to LA, a couple time zones away, to open the series. Sure, teams travel all the time on road trips, sometimes coast to coast. But after all the travel over the course of a season, it's got to take it's toll eventually.
Plus, during the marathon game against the As, the Royals burned through a whole lot of players -- especially pitchers. The 40 man roster teams are allowed on September 1st is whacked back down to 25 when the post-season starts.
Meanwhile, the Angels have been sitting at home resting up. And let's not forget, the Halos posted the best record in all of baseball over the course of the regular season. In fact, they were the only team to finish with a winning record of over .600. Top to bottom, given starting pitching, relief pitching, hitting, overall defense, and team speed, the Angels are definitely a cut above other major league teams -- and especially Kansas City.
This should be a breeze for the Disneylanders -- right?
We'll see. The game can be unpredictable sometimes. There was no way the 1968 Detroit Tigers should have beat the mighty Bob Gibson of the St. Louis Cardinals in Game 7 of the World Series -- but they did. Don't forget the Miracle Mets a year later over the hugely favored Baltimore Orioles. And just a few years ago, the same Cardinals barely squeaked into the playoffs as a wildcard, then went on to crush the same favored Tigers in the fall classic.
Sometimes there's just no rhyme, reason, or logic to it. And when it comes to the playoffs, we can toss that inane stat-babble, sometimes called Sabermetrics, out the window. That's for the geeks during the regular season.
When the playoffs start -- just like any regular season game, or even series -- anybody can beat anybody else. Look at it this way. In some sports, when a team is really good, they could reasonably be expected to win seven, maybe even eight out of ten. But that NEVER happens in major league baseball over a season. When you think about it -- winning a mere 6 out of 10 doesn't sound so difficult. Barely above average. But the Angels were the only team to do it this year. The worst team in all of major league baseball was the Arizona Diamondbacks, finishing a whopping 30 games behind the NL West champion LA Dodgers. But even the recently fired Kirk Gibson's supposedly sack sad crew won roughly 4 out of 10. It's not like they went 10-152.
Every other team in the playoffs, both in the AL and NL, had a winning percentage somewhere in the .500s. That means they win slightly more than they lose.
So who will win it all? If I knew that, I wouldn't be deep in the labyrinth of the man cave writing this blog post. Instead, I would have already landed at McCarron and be looking down out of my suite at Bellagio's in Vegas watching the fountains after having bet the house and my yorkies' future Milk Bone IRA with one of their sports books a few floors down.
On with the games. We shall see, but I'm kinda leaning towards the Nats. Lord knows, DC could use some good publicity these days......
Finally, FINALLY the Royals prevailed, much to the delight of whatever fans were still sober and awake.
That means Oakland is done this year. Outta here.
It's ironic when you think about it. Earlier in the year, the As had zoomed off to a terrific first half of the season, with the best record in baseball. Then they made a couple block-buster trades obtaining some dynamite starting pitching. Alas, it cost them their clean-up hitter.
Instead of pulling even further away in their division -- they promptly went in the tank, not only blowing a once hefty lead, but finishing a full 10 games behind the LA Angels, to barely hang on to a wild card spot. No matter how one wishes to slice it and dice it, over the last few months the As have collapsed faster than Obama's approval ratings.
So now they get to go back to Hell's Angels land and try to figure out how and why the wheels came off their team when they were supposed to get even better. Billy better put his Beane to work.
Nevertheless, hats off to KC. They move on. But they're at distinct disadvantages going into the AL division playoff series against the LA Angels. Consider:
They used their best starting pitcher, James Shields, in the deciding win over Oakland. He'll be in the middle of the rotation against the Angels, and may or may not be available for more than one start.
The Royals have to fly to LA, a couple time zones away, to open the series. Sure, teams travel all the time on road trips, sometimes coast to coast. But after all the travel over the course of a season, it's got to take it's toll eventually.
Plus, during the marathon game against the As, the Royals burned through a whole lot of players -- especially pitchers. The 40 man roster teams are allowed on September 1st is whacked back down to 25 when the post-season starts.
Meanwhile, the Angels have been sitting at home resting up. And let's not forget, the Halos posted the best record in all of baseball over the course of the regular season. In fact, they were the only team to finish with a winning record of over .600. Top to bottom, given starting pitching, relief pitching, hitting, overall defense, and team speed, the Angels are definitely a cut above other major league teams -- and especially Kansas City.
This should be a breeze for the Disneylanders -- right?
We'll see. The game can be unpredictable sometimes. There was no way the 1968 Detroit Tigers should have beat the mighty Bob Gibson of the St. Louis Cardinals in Game 7 of the World Series -- but they did. Don't forget the Miracle Mets a year later over the hugely favored Baltimore Orioles. And just a few years ago, the same Cardinals barely squeaked into the playoffs as a wildcard, then went on to crush the same favored Tigers in the fall classic.
Sometimes there's just no rhyme, reason, or logic to it. And when it comes to the playoffs, we can toss that inane stat-babble, sometimes called Sabermetrics, out the window. That's for the geeks during the regular season.
When the playoffs start -- just like any regular season game, or even series -- anybody can beat anybody else. Look at it this way. In some sports, when a team is really good, they could reasonably be expected to win seven, maybe even eight out of ten. But that NEVER happens in major league baseball over a season. When you think about it -- winning a mere 6 out of 10 doesn't sound so difficult. Barely above average. But the Angels were the only team to do it this year. The worst team in all of major league baseball was the Arizona Diamondbacks, finishing a whopping 30 games behind the NL West champion LA Dodgers. But even the recently fired Kirk Gibson's supposedly sack sad crew won roughly 4 out of 10. It's not like they went 10-152.
Every other team in the playoffs, both in the AL and NL, had a winning percentage somewhere in the .500s. That means they win slightly more than they lose.
So who will win it all? If I knew that, I wouldn't be deep in the labyrinth of the man cave writing this blog post. Instead, I would have already landed at McCarron and be looking down out of my suite at Bellagio's in Vegas watching the fountains after having bet the house and my yorkies' future Milk Bone IRA with one of their sports books a few floors down.
On with the games. We shall see, but I'm kinda leaning towards the Nats. Lord knows, DC could use some good publicity these days......
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