Finally, after more than three months, -- drum roll please -- the report is out on what had become known as Deflategate. You remember. In a playoff game where they crushed the Indianapolis Colts 45-7, much hype was generated over the New England Patriots having possibly deflated game balls.
Evidently, the on-field officials who handle the balls before and after every play didn't notice, so if it happened, it was subtle. And it certainly wouldn't have made a difference as to the outcome of such a lop-sided game. However, rules are rules, and the NFL has parameters on the air pressures allowed in their pigskins.
That hypocrisy in itself is laughable when one considers place kickers and punters get "special" balls to boot. Any 10 year old kid will tell you they can kick a rock hard football a lot farther than a soft one. One would think an NFL football should be an NFL football. They should all be the same.
Further, one could make an argument that any NFL game shouldn't require more than 6 footballs -- max. One to start the game, a new one for the second half, and a few spares just in case of whatever. It's not like they're flying into the stands all the time. They put nets up behind the end zones to catch the balls on extra points and field goals, right?
And hey, the same 10 year olds can play game after game with the same ball and it will continue to work just fine. While on that note, consider futbol (soccer). Those balls get kicked thousands of times but you don't see them being shuffled in and out of games for "replacements" every minute or so. If kicked in the stands, they throw it back and play goes on -- with the same ball.
So why is it that before any given game, both NFL teams are given about a dozen balls? Simply put, it's a recipe for hanky-panky waiting to happen.
Nevertheless, evidently a full-blown investigation was warranted to get to the bottom of Deflategate. America has become big on such things. Whenever there's a possible discrepancy, regardless of how trivial it might be -- hire an army of lawyers and spend a few million bucks to thoroughly examine it and eventually write a report James Michener would be proud of.
In this case, enter one Ted Wells as the lead investigator. Certainly Wells is a highly respected and well learned practitioner of the law. His legal record speaks for itself.
But that's where things get a little convoluted. Like judges, justices, and the IRS, lawyers can "interpret" the law in different ways. After all, they're human, pretty much. So whether they want to admit it or not, personal biases, political slants, and public opinion no doubt play factors in some of the "conclusions" they reach.
And so does who hired them and is paying their fees. Any litigator will try to achieve the best result possible for their client. Defense attorneys have "defendants". They'll do anything to beat the rap. Conversely, prosecutors claim to represent the "people", and they'll similarly do anything to obtain a conviction. The legal shenanigans cut both ways during the process while the truth sometimes ceases to matter. It's all about winning by any means possible.
In this case, Wells was hired by the NFL to delve into the matter. Given the rash of recent not-so-good incidents NFL players have been involved in, it would come as no great surprise that Roger Goodell and the NFL brass expected a report to eventually come back incriminating somebody for something. Good grief, they have that pesky media nipping at that heels again along with a few million arm-chair hang-em-high prosecutors that have already rendered their usual guilty verdict. It just wouldn't do if the report came back finding nobody at fault for anything. Surely Wells was well aware of that. Truth and justice are one thing, but satisfying the client paying him big bucks for a "favorable" result is something else. Wells knew he had to find SOMETHING.
And it appears he did. There are two people who are in big trouble. These would be a couple New England ball boys (equipment attendants). They have most certainly been outed as culpable. The text messages they shared about Deflategate have all but sealed their fate.
Idle thought: What kind of morons these days use texting to communicate about matters they don't wish to be known to the public? Don't they understand texts are Bushish and Clintonesque? As in, once there, they never completely go away and can come back months or years later to haunt you? I mean, c'mon. If couriers can't be afforded, try smoke signals, carrier pigeons, or snail mail. The telephone is a maybe depending on who might be listening -- but texts? Anybody that dumb is supposed to crash and burn. These guys are toast.
A bit of related history comes into play. After the Spygate video scandal that the Patriots were caught up in a few years ago, Roger Goodell instituted new rules in the interest of "protecting the integrity of the game". Henceforth, decreed the Commish, any such matters will be decided and ruled upon based on a "preponderance of the evidence". In other words, it's kind of like a civil trial, where the standards of obtaining a conviction are much lower than in a criminal proceeding. Remember, this is how they got OJ on the original murder thing. The criminal jury said he didn't kill Nicole, but the subsequent civil jury in a wrongful death case said close enough and took all his money away. Right or wrong, that's how it works in America.
So after all this time interviewing countless people and examining whatever "evidence" he could find, Wells finally released his final report. Some of the language should come as no surprise.
Wells determined that the air pressure in the footballs was "likely manipulated".
Further, "more probably than not" it was done intentionally.
Further yet, he concluded Tom Brady was also more probably than not "generally aware" of the situation.
So add it all up and what do you have?
Wells tailored the wordage of his report to exactly meet the standards of Goodell's recent fiat regarding how the league could rule on such matters. A "preponderance of the evidence" was noted on Page 1 of the tome he submitted to his client. How convenient.
Yet an objective person could look at it a different way. Consider what Wells has actually said:
He doesn't know for sure the Patriots' balls WERE deflated, much less intentionally. What has flown under the radar is a few of the Colts' balls were found to be under inflated as well. Nobody, including Ted, wants to talk about that.
And if they were, he has no hard evidence, let alone proof that Tom Brady was complicit in the matter. "Likely generally aware"? Please.
Despite having been a prominent defense attorney in the past for several high-profile clients, it appears Wells has flipped and turned into a prosecutor. (Ah yes, the power of client fees). If they don't have a solid case, they'll create one with "circumstantial evidence", innuendos, and possible "theories" that they'll try to sell as truth. Basically, somebody committed a crime and they've decided on a patsy they're going to nail for it. Whether or not he actually did it doesn't matter. Once they secure a conviction, they can close the case and claim justice was done. A win. The scary part is -- the people that are dumb enough to believe it without asking for more conclusive evidence before they sign off on some poor devil, quite possibly innocent, having his life ruined. It happens all the time.
Look at what's occurring right now. Forget the armchair prosecutors because they're typically too stupid to know the difference anyway. An allegation was made -- dude must be guilty. Morons -- until and unless it happens to them or one of theirs. Then they see the light and change their tune.
Yet one would think others should know better. Specifically, the knee-jerk media. These people are college educated, presumably took an ethics class or two along the way about getting the story right before they run with it, and most of them have seen a lot of stuff in the sports world. And sure, like everybody else, they have teams they root for and others they don't like much. But they're supposed to be objective and open-minded in their coverage, much less jumping to wild conclusions they can't substantiate.
Many of them are already talking about how long Tom Brady's suspension should be next year. They've already done a kangaroo-court leap past possible guilt and moved on to the punishment phase. Should it be 2 games? 4? 6? The entire season?
The only thing they seem to agree on is because some high-falootin lawyer hired by the league to dig up dirt on the Patriots has made a few vague allegations in a lengthy report -- they must all be true. Wells' "more probably than not" ramblings have become written in stone as fact in their minds.
So far, yours truly has yet to see a single one of them stand up and say, "Hey, wait a minute. We don't know what -- if anything -- untoward happened so far. Even Wells has admitted he's guessing. How about we hold off on crucifying Brady until and unless we have some actual -- you know -- evidence that we was complicit in a crime that may or may not have been committed in the first place?"
But that's not how it works these days, is it? When the media gets a mere whiff of a possible scandal, they'll root in the dirt like rabid hogs on steroids. Forget the facts or lack thereof, and who their words may hurt -- anything for a story. If proven wrong later, no big deal. They've already moved on to trash somebody else when the chance presents itself. So much for that long lost ethics class they once sat in.
Idle thought II: Some of those texts between the ball boys exposed their hate towards Tom Brady. It was f*** Tom this and that. They even mentioned OVER inflating the pigskins to resemble a soccer ball or watermelon just to mess with the QB's head. That begs an obvious question. Given they were employed by the Patriots, a job a lot of young guys would kill for, why would they consider doing anything to sabotage their team's chances of winning? So they're accused of deflating, but considered INFLATING instead? A very strange twist to the story indeed.
Wells' report pretty much exonerated Patriots ownership (Robert Kraft) and management (Bill Belichick) of being complicit in any way for whatever happened or not. After all, just because a couple nitwit ball boys allegedly altered the air pressure in some footballs surely doesn't mean the franchise should be held accountable, much less punished, if they had no knowledge of it. If a couple janitors that worked in a GM plant went off the deep end and did something stupid, nobody would expect the CEO or the corporation as a whole to get hammered for it. That "should have known" and "happened on your watch so you're responsible" stuff has it's reasonable limits, or should have. They'd just fire the custodians. End of story. No big deal.
But there's the kicker. Wells has given Goodell the exact language he needs to render punishment under his own former edict. The Commish has a variety to choose from when it comes to sentencing. Even given the vagueness of Ted's not-so-excellent adventure, Goodell doing nothing is likely not an option. The hordes of armchairs and knee-jerks would scream bloody murder. More importantly, the media would be outraged. They'd likely go on a jihad to put the Commish on a spit and not-so-slowly roast him alive. How DARE he be objective in the face of all our stories? Harumph!!
Let's get real. While the New England Patriots have long been a standard of excellence in the NFL, outside of their own fan base in the northeast there are countless millions that root against them. Basically, it's called jealousy. So in the whole scheme of public opinion across the NFL nation, Goodell would be more popular if he hammered the Pats, one way or the other.
He could suspend Brady for X amount of games. The Players Union would certainly appeal and hard telling what a "neutral" arbitrator might decide on in the end.
Or he could fine the Patriots and/or take away a future draft choice or two. Robert Kraft himself has yo-yoed on his position of late. First he wanted the league to apologize for what he considered to be a witch hunt. Then he said he respected the process and will abide by whatever rulings the NFL hands down.
A couple million bucks and/or losing a lower round draft choice are one thing. But if Goodell hammers Kraft and his team too hard, the Cheesemeister might change his mind again. Remember, Wells exonerated Kraft and the team management from any wrongdoing in his report. So why should they be made to suffer for something they weren't responsible for in the first place? If it ever even happened?
This will heat up and get interesting in the next few months. A lot of issues will be on the table and debated fiercely in many quarters. How it will all turn out is anybody's guess. But you know who will be the sure winners when all is said and done?
The lawyers. The longer it drags out, the more billable hours. At the NFL level, we're talking serious cha-chings.
Ted Wells may or may not have compiled a worthy report on whatever happened, but trust me on one thing...
He knows all about billable hours......
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Isiah Thomas is back? Really?
Not that yours truly is too lazy to do his own research, but when somebody else has already looked up a bunch of those pesky statistics and all one has to do is acknowledge the original author before re-using some of his/her work -- writing an article becomes a whole lot less tedious. This is some Journalism 101 ethical nonsense called "crediting one's sources" that editors seem to be big on for their own strange reasons.
However, it is what it is and so be it. Therefore, thank you Doug Feinberg of the Associated Press for doing some of the heavy lifting. On to Isiah.
He's back in professional basketball. Sort of. This time around, Thomas is going to run the WNBA's New York Liberty -- the girls team. In his infinite wisdom, James Dolan has said so. You remember him. He's the chairman of Madison Square Garden and has long owned the NY Knicks, which are currently the sorriest team in the NBA. Not even the Zen master himself, one Phil Jackson, could keep them from being laughingstocks this last season. But Dolan seems to have a thing for Thomas. This certainly isn't his first go round in the Big Apple.
Let's look back at some of the highlights and lowlights of Thomas' career. They can pretty much be divided into two distinct, and quite opposite categories. Lots of highlights as a player. Mostly lowlights whenever he was in charge of something.
Thomas was part of a national championship team while playing at Indiana in 1981 under legendary coach Bobby Knight.
The year before, he had made the (pre-professional at the time) USA Olympic basketball team. But the politicians got in the way and the US boycotted those games which were held in Moscow.
After his sophomore year at IU, Thomas went pro. On to the Detroit Pistons, where they would eventually win back-to-back NBA championships in 1989-90. The Pistons had finally conquered their eastern conference nemesis Boston Celtics, and would take the final step to defeat the dreaded LA Lakers a couple years later. (A guy named Michael Jordan and his crew in Chicago were starting to make some serious noise. We know how that worked out in the 90s.)
After hanging it up as a player in 1994, Thomas would have his number retired and hoisted into the rafters of the Palace, home of the Pistons.
He would also be inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame.
There is no question that, as a player, Isiah Thomas accomplished great things and was hugely successful at every level.
That's the good news. Now the bad.
Shortly after retiring as a player, Thomas became part owner and executive vice-president of the Toronto Raptors. The Raptors would flounder horribly for four years while Thomas was in the front office and he was eventually forced out in 1998.
But Isiah had bucks so he decided to try something different. He bought the entire Continental Basketball Association, then considered the "minor leagues" of the NBA. After only three years with Thomas at the helm, the whole league went bankrupt and folded in 2001. Nice job, Zeke.
In the meantime, he had caught on as the head coach of the Indiana Pacers, succeeding Larry Bird. The year before Bird had guided the Pacers to the eastern conference title. Despite having a wealth of talent (Jermaine O'Neal, Brad Miller, Ron Artest, and Reggie Miller to name a few) Isiah's Pacers would never make it past the first round of the playoffs.
Finally exasperated, Indiana ownership brought Bird back as team president. His first act? Firing Thomas.
He wouldn't be out of a job long. Enter the above-mentioned James Dolan. Incredibly, JD made Isiah the Knicks president. From 2003 to 2008, while Thomas sat in the Madison Square Garden "oval office" the team would never win a single playoff game. Their overall winning percentage under Zeke's watch was a pitiful .341. This, despite having the league's highest payroll. Dolan also let him be head coach for a couple years. His record behind the bench? 56-108. If he couldn't get it done as the head coach of Indiana with vastly superior talent, why would JD think Thomas could possibly turn the rag-tag overpaid and underwhelming Knicks into contenders? Hello?
Thing is, as president, Thomas had made one bonehead move after another. He traded away future draft picks, brought in veteran players that he grossly overrated, and gave them ridiculous long term mega-salaries. In short, he not only oversaw the Knicks going into the toilet, but had crippled them salary-cap wise to improve in future years. Finally, mercifully, at least for Knicks fans, Thomas was fired. But Dolan couldn't let him completely go. Though Isiah wasn't allowed to have any contact with the team, he stayed on as some sort of mysterious "consultant". A paycheck, likely of the large variety.
Adding insult to the alpha-male Peter Principle, pun intended, Thomas had also been accused of sexual harassment by a female MSG employee. Thomas maintained his innocence and was never found liable, but the Garden, see James Dolan, coughed up $11.6 million to make it go away. Draw your own conclusions.
Undeterred, the loveable Isiah decided to try a new adventure. How about coaching a college team? So he talked Florida International into hiring him. He would go 7-25 in his first year. Then somebody noticed that one can't be a college head coach and a consultant for a professional team at the same time. The conflict of interest was blatant, and even the NBA has pesky by-laws forbidding such a thing. This was a problem.
But not for Isiah. He claimed if he ever WAS a consultant for the Knicks he wasn't anymore. So theoretically, all ties to Dolan, the Knicks, and MSG had been severed. We thought. Maybe.
Isiah opted to stay at FIU. Alas, he would go 11-19 in his second season and be canned from there as well.
So add it all up and what do you have in Isiah Lord Thomas III?
A brilliant playing career at every level. He even broke new ground back in the day. Remember him smooching with Magic Johnson at center court before a playoff game? Granted, times have changed since then and people have become much more tolerant of certain things. Then again, how many NBA opponents have you seen kissing on each other since? Perhaps it's best that some things don't catch on and become the norm in the sports world. I mean, c'mon. Does anybody really want to see Lebron James and Joakim Noah trading big sloppy wet ones in Chicago or Cleveland before they go to battle?
But on the management side of things, Isiah has royally screwed up everything he's touched over the last couple decades.
And now Dolan has named Thomas the president of his girls team. Good luck with THAT, ladies. If you thought your team struggled over the last few years, wait until you get a load of THIS guy running the show.
Given his sordid history in running all things business into the ground, how Isiah Thomas continues to keep getting executive positions would seem to be a question for the ages.
Player. Winner.
Business man. Loser.
He must give one hell of an interview.......
However, it is what it is and so be it. Therefore, thank you Doug Feinberg of the Associated Press for doing some of the heavy lifting. On to Isiah.
He's back in professional basketball. Sort of. This time around, Thomas is going to run the WNBA's New York Liberty -- the girls team. In his infinite wisdom, James Dolan has said so. You remember him. He's the chairman of Madison Square Garden and has long owned the NY Knicks, which are currently the sorriest team in the NBA. Not even the Zen master himself, one Phil Jackson, could keep them from being laughingstocks this last season. But Dolan seems to have a thing for Thomas. This certainly isn't his first go round in the Big Apple.
Let's look back at some of the highlights and lowlights of Thomas' career. They can pretty much be divided into two distinct, and quite opposite categories. Lots of highlights as a player. Mostly lowlights whenever he was in charge of something.
Thomas was part of a national championship team while playing at Indiana in 1981 under legendary coach Bobby Knight.
The year before, he had made the (pre-professional at the time) USA Olympic basketball team. But the politicians got in the way and the US boycotted those games which were held in Moscow.
After his sophomore year at IU, Thomas went pro. On to the Detroit Pistons, where they would eventually win back-to-back NBA championships in 1989-90. The Pistons had finally conquered their eastern conference nemesis Boston Celtics, and would take the final step to defeat the dreaded LA Lakers a couple years later. (A guy named Michael Jordan and his crew in Chicago were starting to make some serious noise. We know how that worked out in the 90s.)
After hanging it up as a player in 1994, Thomas would have his number retired and hoisted into the rafters of the Palace, home of the Pistons.
He would also be inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame.
There is no question that, as a player, Isiah Thomas accomplished great things and was hugely successful at every level.
That's the good news. Now the bad.
Shortly after retiring as a player, Thomas became part owner and executive vice-president of the Toronto Raptors. The Raptors would flounder horribly for four years while Thomas was in the front office and he was eventually forced out in 1998.
But Isiah had bucks so he decided to try something different. He bought the entire Continental Basketball Association, then considered the "minor leagues" of the NBA. After only three years with Thomas at the helm, the whole league went bankrupt and folded in 2001. Nice job, Zeke.
In the meantime, he had caught on as the head coach of the Indiana Pacers, succeeding Larry Bird. The year before Bird had guided the Pacers to the eastern conference title. Despite having a wealth of talent (Jermaine O'Neal, Brad Miller, Ron Artest, and Reggie Miller to name a few) Isiah's Pacers would never make it past the first round of the playoffs.
Finally exasperated, Indiana ownership brought Bird back as team president. His first act? Firing Thomas.
He wouldn't be out of a job long. Enter the above-mentioned James Dolan. Incredibly, JD made Isiah the Knicks president. From 2003 to 2008, while Thomas sat in the Madison Square Garden "oval office" the team would never win a single playoff game. Their overall winning percentage under Zeke's watch was a pitiful .341. This, despite having the league's highest payroll. Dolan also let him be head coach for a couple years. His record behind the bench? 56-108. If he couldn't get it done as the head coach of Indiana with vastly superior talent, why would JD think Thomas could possibly turn the rag-tag overpaid and underwhelming Knicks into contenders? Hello?
Thing is, as president, Thomas had made one bonehead move after another. He traded away future draft picks, brought in veteran players that he grossly overrated, and gave them ridiculous long term mega-salaries. In short, he not only oversaw the Knicks going into the toilet, but had crippled them salary-cap wise to improve in future years. Finally, mercifully, at least for Knicks fans, Thomas was fired. But Dolan couldn't let him completely go. Though Isiah wasn't allowed to have any contact with the team, he stayed on as some sort of mysterious "consultant". A paycheck, likely of the large variety.
Adding insult to the alpha-male Peter Principle, pun intended, Thomas had also been accused of sexual harassment by a female MSG employee. Thomas maintained his innocence and was never found liable, but the Garden, see James Dolan, coughed up $11.6 million to make it go away. Draw your own conclusions.
Undeterred, the loveable Isiah decided to try a new adventure. How about coaching a college team? So he talked Florida International into hiring him. He would go 7-25 in his first year. Then somebody noticed that one can't be a college head coach and a consultant for a professional team at the same time. The conflict of interest was blatant, and even the NBA has pesky by-laws forbidding such a thing. This was a problem.
But not for Isiah. He claimed if he ever WAS a consultant for the Knicks he wasn't anymore. So theoretically, all ties to Dolan, the Knicks, and MSG had been severed. We thought. Maybe.
Isiah opted to stay at FIU. Alas, he would go 11-19 in his second season and be canned from there as well.
So add it all up and what do you have in Isiah Lord Thomas III?
A brilliant playing career at every level. He even broke new ground back in the day. Remember him smooching with Magic Johnson at center court before a playoff game? Granted, times have changed since then and people have become much more tolerant of certain things. Then again, how many NBA opponents have you seen kissing on each other since? Perhaps it's best that some things don't catch on and become the norm in the sports world. I mean, c'mon. Does anybody really want to see Lebron James and Joakim Noah trading big sloppy wet ones in Chicago or Cleveland before they go to battle?
But on the management side of things, Isiah has royally screwed up everything he's touched over the last couple decades.
And now Dolan has named Thomas the president of his girls team. Good luck with THAT, ladies. If you thought your team struggled over the last few years, wait until you get a load of THIS guy running the show.
Given his sordid history in running all things business into the ground, how Isiah Thomas continues to keep getting executive positions would seem to be a question for the ages.
Player. Winner.
Business man. Loser.
He must give one hell of an interview.......
A Golden State surprise
Likely most, including yours truly, thought the Memphis Grizzlies had little chance of defeating the Golden State Warriors in the second round of the NBA western conference playoffs. The reasoning was obvious. Golden State had posted the best regular season record in the league, had home court advantage, and had blistered the Grizz by 15 points in Game One of the series. Everything was going as planned. The guys from Elvisville might win a game at home, but no way could they compete with the high-flying Warriors, replete with the Splash Brothers named Curry and Thompson.
Just prior to the actual contest, Stephen Curry was honored as the NBA MVP with the new Commish (Adam Silver, sometimes aka Mr. Peanut/Potato Head) doing the presentation. The crowd was in a frenzy over their hero. Surely their Warriors would roll.
But then something unforeseen happened. The Grizzlies weren't impressed. They came out and methodically controlled the game from start to finish to even up the series at 1-1. This was particularly notable because Golden State had only been beaten twice before during the entire season on their home floor. Once apiece by San Antonio and Chicago.
A fluke? Maybe. The Warriors could reel off three wins in a row to dispatch Memphis and move on to the western finals. Or maybe it was no fluke at all. On a night when most, likely including Curry himself, thought he would light it up, the Grizz had devised a risky strategy to neutralize him.
If nothing else, Curry is a superb ball handler and might just be the best shooter in the game these days. He can easily beat one-on-one coverage off the dribble to drive to the basket, or step back and knock down 3-pointers all night long. The ultimate double offensive threat.
But Memphis tried something different. Every time Curry was within shooting and/or driving range, they immediately double covered him. He couldn't penetrate and couldn't shoot. He had to give up the ball. That itself is not so unusual. Yet most teams will only "double" a player until he gives it up, then one of the defenders will rotate to guard another player. What WAS unusual was Memphis kept the double on Curry even after he had given up possession. The quick return passes to the MVP for an easy shot weren't going to be allowed either.
Of course, that left another Warrior player wide open. But Memphis had decided to negate Curry at all costs and take their chances elsewhere. If the other guys knock down the open shots -- so be it. But Curry was not going to get his usual 30 on this night.
And it worked, to perfection, at least for this one game. Golden State missed a lot of wide open looks and all the while the much more physical front line of the Grizz were beating them up in the "paint". A run and gun dunk-a-thon was not to be an option either. Come inside, and pay the price.
Memphis had a plan, if risky, and they executed it all game long. The result was a victory to improbably hand the Warriors only their third home defeat of the season. On Steph Curry's MVP night, of all things.
Sure, they have a few days off until Game Three, and all teams make adjustments from game to game. No doubt, head coach Steve Kerr and his Warrior coaching staff are all too painfully aware of what happened to give them their first playoff loss. The chess match is on.
Thing is, there's not a whole heck of a lot they can do about it if Memphis deploys the same strategy for the next game. Taking away Curry and packing the paint for one game worked, so why not do it again and see what happens on their own home court?
Could the MG actually pull off a series victory over the highly favored GS? Likely not, but if they win Game 3 while frustrating the MVP again, things will definitely get interesting.
Idle thought: And if that happens in Memphis, what are the chances Elvis will be back IN the building for Game 4?
Just prior to the actual contest, Stephen Curry was honored as the NBA MVP with the new Commish (Adam Silver, sometimes aka Mr. Peanut/Potato Head) doing the presentation. The crowd was in a frenzy over their hero. Surely their Warriors would roll.
But then something unforeseen happened. The Grizzlies weren't impressed. They came out and methodically controlled the game from start to finish to even up the series at 1-1. This was particularly notable because Golden State had only been beaten twice before during the entire season on their home floor. Once apiece by San Antonio and Chicago.
A fluke? Maybe. The Warriors could reel off three wins in a row to dispatch Memphis and move on to the western finals. Or maybe it was no fluke at all. On a night when most, likely including Curry himself, thought he would light it up, the Grizz had devised a risky strategy to neutralize him.
If nothing else, Curry is a superb ball handler and might just be the best shooter in the game these days. He can easily beat one-on-one coverage off the dribble to drive to the basket, or step back and knock down 3-pointers all night long. The ultimate double offensive threat.
But Memphis tried something different. Every time Curry was within shooting and/or driving range, they immediately double covered him. He couldn't penetrate and couldn't shoot. He had to give up the ball. That itself is not so unusual. Yet most teams will only "double" a player until he gives it up, then one of the defenders will rotate to guard another player. What WAS unusual was Memphis kept the double on Curry even after he had given up possession. The quick return passes to the MVP for an easy shot weren't going to be allowed either.
Of course, that left another Warrior player wide open. But Memphis had decided to negate Curry at all costs and take their chances elsewhere. If the other guys knock down the open shots -- so be it. But Curry was not going to get his usual 30 on this night.
And it worked, to perfection, at least for this one game. Golden State missed a lot of wide open looks and all the while the much more physical front line of the Grizz were beating them up in the "paint". A run and gun dunk-a-thon was not to be an option either. Come inside, and pay the price.
Memphis had a plan, if risky, and they executed it all game long. The result was a victory to improbably hand the Warriors only their third home defeat of the season. On Steph Curry's MVP night, of all things.
Sure, they have a few days off until Game Three, and all teams make adjustments from game to game. No doubt, head coach Steve Kerr and his Warrior coaching staff are all too painfully aware of what happened to give them their first playoff loss. The chess match is on.
Thing is, there's not a whole heck of a lot they can do about it if Memphis deploys the same strategy for the next game. Taking away Curry and packing the paint for one game worked, so why not do it again and see what happens on their own home court?
Could the MG actually pull off a series victory over the highly favored GS? Likely not, but if they win Game 3 while frustrating the MVP again, things will definitely get interesting.
Idle thought: And if that happens in Memphis, what are the chances Elvis will be back IN the building for Game 4?
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
The wacky NBA playoffs
But first a dumb commercial you've likely seen while watching NBA action. As the neighbors pull up next door in their spiffy new car, the nosey husband asks his wife, "So, what did they get?", while reaching for his binoculars, ala Alice Kravitz of the old-time Bewitched TV show. Going off script, here's how she should have replied....
Good answer.
"Who cares?"
Better answer.
"Ah, it's only a Buick."
Best answer.
"Why is that nitwit backing the car up to his gate again? Wouldn't it be a lot simpler to go forward? And does it take both of them to get out to open it? Maybe they should have spent a couple extra bucks for a remote control option. Idiots."
OK, enough of that nonsense. On to the playoffs.
Though the Toronto Raptors had a very respectable regular season -- is anybody really surprised they got wiped in the first round of the playoffs?
In a crazy series where both teams won twice on the road, the LA Clips finally outlasted the defending champ San Antonio Spurs. Perhaps a mild upset.
Like Toronto, the Atlanta Hawks breezed through the regular season and dispatched the not-so-good Brooklyn Nets in the first round. But the Washington Wizards waltzed into Atlanta and smoked the Hawks in Game One of the second round. Could the Wiz actually pull off a series victory and advance to the eastern conference finals? Maybe.
The Cleveland Cavaliers were an interesting story all year. Lebron had come back home, they'd obtained Kevin Love, and Kyrie Irving is a superstar in the making. But throw in a new head coach with no NBA experience and whether or not they could come together was a good question. Turns out they did. Predictably, they breezed into the second round. But oops. Love is now out with a shoulder injury, and the Chicago Bulls just went into Cleveland and took Game One. With Derrick Rose finally healthy again, many are saying the Bulls are the real deal and perhaps were the best of the east all along. We'll see. Underestimate Lebron when the pressure ratchets up at your own peril.
The Golden State Warriors posted the best regular season record in the league and are still cruising along. The chances of the Memphis Grizzlies knocking them off in the second round? Barring a rash of injuries -- no way. They will await the winner of the LA Clips/Houston Rockets series now underway as well.
But something unexpected has already happened there. Many experts predicted the Rockets were too big, too physical, and too deep for the Clips. Plus, they had home court advantage. And when star LA guard Chris Paul came up lame with a hamstring problem, the Rockets were supposed to handle them easily. So how is it that LA went into Houston and beat them fair and square in Game One of that series? Strange goings on indeed.
While the fans, pundits, and even odds-makers are likely befuddled by what has happened so far in the playoffs, there is one entity that is no doubt thrilled. The NBA itself. They have to be loving the unpredictability of the playoffs so far. There are no "super-dominant" teams and it remains a crapshoot. With the possible exception of the above-mentioned Warriors/Griz matchup, pretty much anybody can beat anybody else, and it's only going to get more interesting in the next round.
Who will make it through to the Finals is anybody's guess. And when THAT starts, there's only one logical course of action if one is inclined to wager on such a thing. Get out one's lucky penny and start shining it up for the coin flips. Anything can happen and just might.
Don't believe it? Harkon back to not long ago. Did anybody really think Ohio State would knock off Alabama, then crush Oregon in the college football championship game? Or the San Francisco Giants would wind up World Series champions? Or the KC Royals would even MAKE it to the fall classic? Or some New England Patriot defensive back nobody had heard of before would make an improbable goal-line interception in the closing seconds of the Super Bowl to decide the game? Or Tiger and Lindsey would ever break up? Well, OK. Maybe that's not exactly a shocker.
But these NBA playoffs are getting more interesting every day.
Good answer.
"Who cares?"
Better answer.
"Ah, it's only a Buick."
Best answer.
"Why is that nitwit backing the car up to his gate again? Wouldn't it be a lot simpler to go forward? And does it take both of them to get out to open it? Maybe they should have spent a couple extra bucks for a remote control option. Idiots."
OK, enough of that nonsense. On to the playoffs.
Though the Toronto Raptors had a very respectable regular season -- is anybody really surprised they got wiped in the first round of the playoffs?
In a crazy series where both teams won twice on the road, the LA Clips finally outlasted the defending champ San Antonio Spurs. Perhaps a mild upset.
Like Toronto, the Atlanta Hawks breezed through the regular season and dispatched the not-so-good Brooklyn Nets in the first round. But the Washington Wizards waltzed into Atlanta and smoked the Hawks in Game One of the second round. Could the Wiz actually pull off a series victory and advance to the eastern conference finals? Maybe.
The Cleveland Cavaliers were an interesting story all year. Lebron had come back home, they'd obtained Kevin Love, and Kyrie Irving is a superstar in the making. But throw in a new head coach with no NBA experience and whether or not they could come together was a good question. Turns out they did. Predictably, they breezed into the second round. But oops. Love is now out with a shoulder injury, and the Chicago Bulls just went into Cleveland and took Game One. With Derrick Rose finally healthy again, many are saying the Bulls are the real deal and perhaps were the best of the east all along. We'll see. Underestimate Lebron when the pressure ratchets up at your own peril.
The Golden State Warriors posted the best regular season record in the league and are still cruising along. The chances of the Memphis Grizzlies knocking them off in the second round? Barring a rash of injuries -- no way. They will await the winner of the LA Clips/Houston Rockets series now underway as well.
But something unexpected has already happened there. Many experts predicted the Rockets were too big, too physical, and too deep for the Clips. Plus, they had home court advantage. And when star LA guard Chris Paul came up lame with a hamstring problem, the Rockets were supposed to handle them easily. So how is it that LA went into Houston and beat them fair and square in Game One of that series? Strange goings on indeed.
While the fans, pundits, and even odds-makers are likely befuddled by what has happened so far in the playoffs, there is one entity that is no doubt thrilled. The NBA itself. They have to be loving the unpredictability of the playoffs so far. There are no "super-dominant" teams and it remains a crapshoot. With the possible exception of the above-mentioned Warriors/Griz matchup, pretty much anybody can beat anybody else, and it's only going to get more interesting in the next round.
Who will make it through to the Finals is anybody's guess. And when THAT starts, there's only one logical course of action if one is inclined to wager on such a thing. Get out one's lucky penny and start shining it up for the coin flips. Anything can happen and just might.
Don't believe it? Harkon back to not long ago. Did anybody really think Ohio State would knock off Alabama, then crush Oregon in the college football championship game? Or the San Francisco Giants would wind up World Series champions? Or the KC Royals would even MAKE it to the fall classic? Or some New England Patriot defensive back nobody had heard of before would make an improbable goal-line interception in the closing seconds of the Super Bowl to decide the game? Or Tiger and Lindsey would ever break up? Well, OK. Maybe that's not exactly a shocker.
But these NBA playoffs are getting more interesting every day.
Sunday, May 3, 2015
The Beer Mile/Marathon
Just when you think you've seen every possible ridiculous competition that could be created in the wide world of sports -- something even stupider will come along.
Yours truly has long thought the X-Games are a farce, but evidently I'm in the minority. They have lots of fans and commercial sponsors -- see cha-ching -- going for them. However, while on that subject, perhaps there's a way to make them infinitely more entertaining.
Instead of just X-Games, make them X-rated Games. Every event has to be performed completely nude by the competitors. Imagine all those moguls, hills, snowboards and bikes going up and down, spinning in mid-air with bodily appendages flapping every which way, both male and female. Now THAT would be interesting. The term "halfpipe" could be relevant in another way. That's how much each competitor would be allowed to smoke before competing to put them in the proper mood to participate in such spectacles. Let the Games begin indeed!!!!
Hmm. On second thought, maybe that's not such a good idea. Nevermind. Where was I? Right, the Beer Mile.
It appears the rules are pretty simple. One has to chug a 12 ounce beer and then run a lap of a quarter mile. Competitors can choose whichever brand of suds they prefer, as long as it's at least 5% alcohol. None of that sissy low-lead stuff.
Then do it again. Chug and run. And again, and a fourth time. Four beers, four quarter miles run for a total of 48 ounces and a full mile.
This particular event appears to be catching on in Texas. Imagine that. So far, the men's record holder has a total time of 5 minutes. That's very impressive when one stops to think about it. Running a four-minute mile is no small feat, and chugging four beers in a total of one minute is nothing to gag at, sort of.
Perhaps appropriately enough, the women's record holder already has six kids. Maybe she should consider doing a little more running and a little less drinking in the future. Ahem.
That's all fine and dandy and to each their own when it comes to fringe athletic competitions. But yours truly still doesn't think running a mile and drinking four beers along the way is exactly the most grueling event there ever was.
Know what I want to see?
The Beer Marathon. Twenty six plus miles and twenty six beers. Now THAT would wean out the lightweights. True, it could take all day and there might well be serious casualties along the way. But hey, have a few ambulances on hand to tend to the wannabe fallouts. No big deal. And talk about stamina..... You've heard of the Iron Man event. How about the Iron Stomach? And I'd be willing to bet those pesky Kenyans and Ethiopians that have been winning all the other marathons in recent years wouldn't last more than ten miles with a gallon of beer sloshing around in their gut.
Want to make it REALLY hard? After they've run 26 miles and chugged 26 beers, they still have 385 yards to go to complete a true marathon. At that point, with the finish line in sight, another final obstacle would await them. Yep, they have to smoke a halfpipe of the good stuff and stumble on to the tape.
Of course, the champion(s) of such a contest should be given their due and fittingly rewarded for such a valiant -- urp -- effort indeed. Besides a pile of money, and a lifetime supply of their favorite brew would be a nice touch, place the laurels atop their heads like all other marathon winners have been honored with.
With any luck, they might find their way home -- eventually. Maybe. With a whole lot of help.
Like "extreme" sports? I don't want to hear about flipping around on snowboards, bikes, and motorcycles. Lots of crazy kids can do that.
But even if one doesn't win it, surviving and successfully completing a Beer Marathon would be a spectacular feat any athlete could proudly boast of to his/her kids/grandkids in future years.
If only they could remember their names......
Yours truly has long thought the X-Games are a farce, but evidently I'm in the minority. They have lots of fans and commercial sponsors -- see cha-ching -- going for them. However, while on that subject, perhaps there's a way to make them infinitely more entertaining.
Instead of just X-Games, make them X-rated Games. Every event has to be performed completely nude by the competitors. Imagine all those moguls, hills, snowboards and bikes going up and down, spinning in mid-air with bodily appendages flapping every which way, both male and female. Now THAT would be interesting. The term "halfpipe" could be relevant in another way. That's how much each competitor would be allowed to smoke before competing to put them in the proper mood to participate in such spectacles. Let the Games begin indeed!!!!
Hmm. On second thought, maybe that's not such a good idea. Nevermind. Where was I? Right, the Beer Mile.
It appears the rules are pretty simple. One has to chug a 12 ounce beer and then run a lap of a quarter mile. Competitors can choose whichever brand of suds they prefer, as long as it's at least 5% alcohol. None of that sissy low-lead stuff.
Then do it again. Chug and run. And again, and a fourth time. Four beers, four quarter miles run for a total of 48 ounces and a full mile.
This particular event appears to be catching on in Texas. Imagine that. So far, the men's record holder has a total time of 5 minutes. That's very impressive when one stops to think about it. Running a four-minute mile is no small feat, and chugging four beers in a total of one minute is nothing to gag at, sort of.
Perhaps appropriately enough, the women's record holder already has six kids. Maybe she should consider doing a little more running and a little less drinking in the future. Ahem.
That's all fine and dandy and to each their own when it comes to fringe athletic competitions. But yours truly still doesn't think running a mile and drinking four beers along the way is exactly the most grueling event there ever was.
Know what I want to see?
The Beer Marathon. Twenty six plus miles and twenty six beers. Now THAT would wean out the lightweights. True, it could take all day and there might well be serious casualties along the way. But hey, have a few ambulances on hand to tend to the wannabe fallouts. No big deal. And talk about stamina..... You've heard of the Iron Man event. How about the Iron Stomach? And I'd be willing to bet those pesky Kenyans and Ethiopians that have been winning all the other marathons in recent years wouldn't last more than ten miles with a gallon of beer sloshing around in their gut.
Want to make it REALLY hard? After they've run 26 miles and chugged 26 beers, they still have 385 yards to go to complete a true marathon. At that point, with the finish line in sight, another final obstacle would await them. Yep, they have to smoke a halfpipe of the good stuff and stumble on to the tape.
Of course, the champion(s) of such a contest should be given their due and fittingly rewarded for such a valiant -- urp -- effort indeed. Besides a pile of money, and a lifetime supply of their favorite brew would be a nice touch, place the laurels atop their heads like all other marathon winners have been honored with.
With any luck, they might find their way home -- eventually. Maybe. With a whole lot of help.
Like "extreme" sports? I don't want to hear about flipping around on snowboards, bikes, and motorcycles. Lots of crazy kids can do that.
But even if one doesn't win it, surviving and successfully completing a Beer Marathon would be a spectacular feat any athlete could proudly boast of to his/her kids/grandkids in future years.
If only they could remember their names......
Saturday, May 2, 2015
The best thing about the NFL draft
The annual NFL draft is a big deal. Huge. Though the rest of the world and places like Utah, Idaho, Montana, the Dakotas, and a few other areas in the United States (Los Angeles?) couldn't care less, this is life and death stuff to any of the countless millions who have devoted their loyalty to an NFL team. The future success or failure of said franchises might well depend on how wisely they pick on draft day.
Few would doubt all the teams devote massive resources to research before they make their selections. They watch tape, conduct interviews, go to the meat market combine in Indianapolis, and measure every possible parameter, regardless of its relevance. (Does it matter how high a 300 pound offensive tackle can jump?). They'll bring in the potential draftees for further examination and/or workouts, go to their individual "Pro days", do psychological tests and background checks, and then study some more. Yessirree, with apologies to the late Carl Sagan, NFL teams spend BILLIONS and BILLIONS of man hours trying to get this right every year.
But in the end, it's always been, still is, and will forever be a crap shoot. Can't miss future stars -- will. Afterthoughts that nobody paid much initial attention to might wind up Hall of Famers. For every Tom Brady there's a Ryan Leaf and vice versa.
Nonetheless, NFL fans are annually bombarded with pre-draft hype. Beat writers, sports columnists, magazines, talking heads, you name it, there's billions and billions of experts offering up their wisdom on who and why any team should select a certain player. They make lists, right down to the teams, positions, and rounds they will, or should be selected. These people are geniuses with IQs in the billion and billion range. Just ask them, they'll tell you.
And you know what? They never have a clue either how the draft will play out, much less whether the teams drafted wisely or will be shown to be boneheads in the future. Some guys will go on to be stars. Others won't even make the teams. Some "promising" ones will collect a few million bucks on signing bonuses and initial contracts, but turn out to be busts. Still others that went totally undrafted during all seven rounds and 224+ players worth -- might "walk on" and wind up having long careers on various NFL teams. It's happened -- both ways. A lot.
Thankfully, mercifully, the 2015 draft is finally over. Though every one of them and their minions will crow over how they made a "killing" in this draft and got exactly who they wanted, how will the selections of the 32 teams eventually pan out? The obvious answer is -- that remains to be seen. Look back in a couple years and draw your own conclusions.
But the really, really, REALLY best thing about this time of year?
Those super-annoying self-appointed geniuses like Mel Kiper and Todd McShay will go back into hibernation for a while. For weeks we've heard them smugly drone on like they have crystal balls and know EXACTLY how the draft is going to unfold. A bit of irony. If they both know everything, then how come they disagree so often?
While we're at it, good riddance to Jon Gruden and his made-for-TV class sessions with top draft prospects. (You know football. We get that, Chucky. So stop with the stupid interviews and laughable on-field nerf workouts and go get another real football job somewhere. Good grief, you learned at the knee of Mike Holmgren back in Green Bay twenty years ago and went on to win a Super Bowl as the head coach of the Tampa Bay Bucs. Lots of teams would snap you up in a second and offer you millions of bucks to lead their franchises, but you prefer being a Simpson-esque caricature on the 4 letter network? Straighten up, dude.)
So yes, the best thing about the NFL draft is that it's finally over. How do I know this is true?
I can give you BILLIONS and BILLIONS of reasons why.
They're called worthless sound bytes and written words from the "experts", who never had a clue either how it was going to work out this year, much less in the future.
At least for now, we have a little peace and quiet. The pseudo know-it-alls have gone back into hibernation for a while.
This is always a good thing.
Few would doubt all the teams devote massive resources to research before they make their selections. They watch tape, conduct interviews, go to the meat market combine in Indianapolis, and measure every possible parameter, regardless of its relevance. (Does it matter how high a 300 pound offensive tackle can jump?). They'll bring in the potential draftees for further examination and/or workouts, go to their individual "Pro days", do psychological tests and background checks, and then study some more. Yessirree, with apologies to the late Carl Sagan, NFL teams spend BILLIONS and BILLIONS of man hours trying to get this right every year.
But in the end, it's always been, still is, and will forever be a crap shoot. Can't miss future stars -- will. Afterthoughts that nobody paid much initial attention to might wind up Hall of Famers. For every Tom Brady there's a Ryan Leaf and vice versa.
Nonetheless, NFL fans are annually bombarded with pre-draft hype. Beat writers, sports columnists, magazines, talking heads, you name it, there's billions and billions of experts offering up their wisdom on who and why any team should select a certain player. They make lists, right down to the teams, positions, and rounds they will, or should be selected. These people are geniuses with IQs in the billion and billion range. Just ask them, they'll tell you.
And you know what? They never have a clue either how the draft will play out, much less whether the teams drafted wisely or will be shown to be boneheads in the future. Some guys will go on to be stars. Others won't even make the teams. Some "promising" ones will collect a few million bucks on signing bonuses and initial contracts, but turn out to be busts. Still others that went totally undrafted during all seven rounds and 224+ players worth -- might "walk on" and wind up having long careers on various NFL teams. It's happened -- both ways. A lot.
Thankfully, mercifully, the 2015 draft is finally over. Though every one of them and their minions will crow over how they made a "killing" in this draft and got exactly who they wanted, how will the selections of the 32 teams eventually pan out? The obvious answer is -- that remains to be seen. Look back in a couple years and draw your own conclusions.
But the really, really, REALLY best thing about this time of year?
Those super-annoying self-appointed geniuses like Mel Kiper and Todd McShay will go back into hibernation for a while. For weeks we've heard them smugly drone on like they have crystal balls and know EXACTLY how the draft is going to unfold. A bit of irony. If they both know everything, then how come they disagree so often?
While we're at it, good riddance to Jon Gruden and his made-for-TV class sessions with top draft prospects. (You know football. We get that, Chucky. So stop with the stupid interviews and laughable on-field nerf workouts and go get another real football job somewhere. Good grief, you learned at the knee of Mike Holmgren back in Green Bay twenty years ago and went on to win a Super Bowl as the head coach of the Tampa Bay Bucs. Lots of teams would snap you up in a second and offer you millions of bucks to lead their franchises, but you prefer being a Simpson-esque caricature on the 4 letter network? Straighten up, dude.)
So yes, the best thing about the NFL draft is that it's finally over. How do I know this is true?
I can give you BILLIONS and BILLIONS of reasons why.
They're called worthless sound bytes and written words from the "experts", who never had a clue either how it was going to work out this year, much less in the future.
At least for now, we have a little peace and quiet. The pseudo know-it-alls have gone back into hibernation for a while.
This is always a good thing.
Friday, May 1, 2015
The bumbling Detroit Lions and Murphy's Law
So after all the pre-draft hype amongst their faithful, the ingenious, LOL, Lions brain trust has struck again.
Leading up to the draft, it was no big secret the Lions had a lot of needs at a lot of different positions. Their pundits repeatedly informed the fans of such. To wit:
The two starting cornerbacks are returning, but one is old and the other a bit iffy. Beyond that, the depth chart is almost non-existent. A need.
After only one year with the Lions, one of their starting safeties appears to have mutinied. Though he's still under contract, he wants more money. How that will work out is anybody's guess. Another need.
Granted, the Lions de-thugged themselves somewhat with Ndamukong Suh and Nick Fairley going elsewhere, but that left their defensive line shallow as well. Need number three.
At running back, Reggie Bush was always an over-hyped illusion. There are reasons he couldn't stick with other teams before and coming to the Lions wasn't going to change that. Regardless, he gone, but the Lions are still sorely in need of a reliable running back. Yes, they're a pass-happy offense, but without a running game, a team is only going to get so far. A huge need.
There was even some talk of the Lions possibly drafting another receiver, though that would have made ZERO sense given all the above and other more pressing holes to fill on their roster.
Yessirree Billybob Ford, the Lions had many options with their #23 first round pick. Their pundits had long offered up a whole list of possible players that could help the Lions at various positions. Surely Martin Mayhew and the aforementioned, ahem, Lions brain trust would take one of them -- right?
Not exactly. The Lions traded down a few picks and wound up taking an offensive guard that all the "experts" had somehow overlooked. A guy from Duke. DUKE!! You know, the perennial basketball powerhouse but also has a long history of futility on the gridiron.
The Lions' draft trading partner was the Denver Broncos who would eventually take LB Shane Ray out of Missouri with the 23rd pick they got from the Lions.
What did the Lions get in return? Another offensive guard, one Manny Ramirez, who had played for them before during one of the Lions' bottom feeder cycles a few years back.
Let's not forget, the Lions still have an offer on the table for one Rob Sims. He's started every game for them at left guard for the last 5 years.
So add it all up and what do you have? The Lions traded down to get an offensive guard from the Broncos, drafted another one, and have yet a third they're still waiting to hear back from.
That's some kind of first round draft action. Only the Lions could ignore so many needs elsewhere and pull a stunt like this.
But dammit, they've got a left guard. Maybe 3 of them. That's great, except only one can play at a time.
Wait a sec, what's that? The Lions drafted Ameer Abdullah in the second round? Really. So is he the running back out of Nebraska or one of the last holdovers from W's wartime "deck of cards" a while back? Would Mayhew and his merry band of draft "gurus" know the difference in which one they signed to a contract? A little mistaken identity thing there could get embarrassing.
I dunno. You've heard of Murphy's Law about things going wrong? Here's a bit of trivia. That "law" had it origins at Edwards Air Force base in California back in 1949. The military geniuses of the time were trying to find out how fast a human could decelerate and still survive. A Captain Edward Murphy was a technican on the project. They used real people. Primitive indeed. Nowadays we have such things as crash dummies to determine such parameters. Pity we can't use politicians for the same purpose, but perhaps that's a story for another day. Ahem.
At any rate, a doctor on site at the time, Col. John Stapp, who was the guinea pig on one of those ultra-fast acceleration/stop quick crazy sled rides and barely survived, offered up a paradox after discovering Murphy had wired the sensors backwards so there were no readouts to learn from. To wit:
"The universal aptitude for ineptness makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle."
Did I mention the Detroit Lions franchise over the last half+ century? Pretty much the same thing.
Leading up to the draft, it was no big secret the Lions had a lot of needs at a lot of different positions. Their pundits repeatedly informed the fans of such. To wit:
The two starting cornerbacks are returning, but one is old and the other a bit iffy. Beyond that, the depth chart is almost non-existent. A need.
After only one year with the Lions, one of their starting safeties appears to have mutinied. Though he's still under contract, he wants more money. How that will work out is anybody's guess. Another need.
Granted, the Lions de-thugged themselves somewhat with Ndamukong Suh and Nick Fairley going elsewhere, but that left their defensive line shallow as well. Need number three.
At running back, Reggie Bush was always an over-hyped illusion. There are reasons he couldn't stick with other teams before and coming to the Lions wasn't going to change that. Regardless, he gone, but the Lions are still sorely in need of a reliable running back. Yes, they're a pass-happy offense, but without a running game, a team is only going to get so far. A huge need.
There was even some talk of the Lions possibly drafting another receiver, though that would have made ZERO sense given all the above and other more pressing holes to fill on their roster.
Yessirree Billybob Ford, the Lions had many options with their #23 first round pick. Their pundits had long offered up a whole list of possible players that could help the Lions at various positions. Surely Martin Mayhew and the aforementioned, ahem, Lions brain trust would take one of them -- right?
Not exactly. The Lions traded down a few picks and wound up taking an offensive guard that all the "experts" had somehow overlooked. A guy from Duke. DUKE!! You know, the perennial basketball powerhouse but also has a long history of futility on the gridiron.
The Lions' draft trading partner was the Denver Broncos who would eventually take LB Shane Ray out of Missouri with the 23rd pick they got from the Lions.
What did the Lions get in return? Another offensive guard, one Manny Ramirez, who had played for them before during one of the Lions' bottom feeder cycles a few years back.
Let's not forget, the Lions still have an offer on the table for one Rob Sims. He's started every game for them at left guard for the last 5 years.
So add it all up and what do you have? The Lions traded down to get an offensive guard from the Broncos, drafted another one, and have yet a third they're still waiting to hear back from.
That's some kind of first round draft action. Only the Lions could ignore so many needs elsewhere and pull a stunt like this.
But dammit, they've got a left guard. Maybe 3 of them. That's great, except only one can play at a time.
Wait a sec, what's that? The Lions drafted Ameer Abdullah in the second round? Really. So is he the running back out of Nebraska or one of the last holdovers from W's wartime "deck of cards" a while back? Would Mayhew and his merry band of draft "gurus" know the difference in which one they signed to a contract? A little mistaken identity thing there could get embarrassing.
I dunno. You've heard of Murphy's Law about things going wrong? Here's a bit of trivia. That "law" had it origins at Edwards Air Force base in California back in 1949. The military geniuses of the time were trying to find out how fast a human could decelerate and still survive. A Captain Edward Murphy was a technican on the project. They used real people. Primitive indeed. Nowadays we have such things as crash dummies to determine such parameters. Pity we can't use politicians for the same purpose, but perhaps that's a story for another day. Ahem.
At any rate, a doctor on site at the time, Col. John Stapp, who was the guinea pig on one of those ultra-fast acceleration/stop quick crazy sled rides and barely survived, offered up a paradox after discovering Murphy had wired the sensors backwards so there were no readouts to learn from. To wit:
"The universal aptitude for ineptness makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle."
Did I mention the Detroit Lions franchise over the last half+ century? Pretty much the same thing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)