True, the stat geeks always seem to coming up with trivia from hell that nobody much cares about. I mean, who gives a rat's behind about some guy/girl being only the first player in history from Peoria with a grandma name Gertrude that came in third at a golf tournament, or had a top-ten finish at a NASCAR race? Things like this are where expressions such as TMI and gag me with a spoon originated.
But every once in a while, something truly noteworthy happens. Who saw Broadway Joe knocking off the mighty Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III? Or the OJ murder verdict? Or the results of the last presidential election? Definitely stuff to sit up and take notice of.
Along those lines, enter the Los Angeles Dodgers and Cleveland Indians.
For a while, it appeared as if the Dodgers were going to steam-roll their way to the best regular season record of all time. Then the wheels fell off.
They are the only team in Major League Baseball history to have compiled a 15-1 winning streak with a 1-15 losing streak in the same season. Super hot early -- super cold of late. Maybe they roll into the World Series and actually win it. Or maybe they get bounced early in the playoffs. If you're a betting person, good luck trying to figure out the odds on the LA-LA Landers chances of success.
On the other side were the Cleveland Indians. Remember, they came within a whisker of winning the Series last year. Only a late rally by the Cubbies finally did them in. Given the Chicago north-siders hadn't won a WS in over 100 years, how could anybody begrudge them finally getting that monkey off their backs? This was a good thing.
Yet despite returning so much talent this year, the Indians struggled to be only a .500 team in the early months of 2017.
Yours truly often wondered.... What's wrong with these guys? They're clearly better than everybody else in their division, so how come they're not winning more games? A hangover from the heartbreak of the 2016 WS isn't supposed to last THIS long.
And then finally it kicked in. When you've got the best starting rotation in all of baseball, team speed, hitters galore, a lights out bullpen, a manager that's been there done that, and terrific defense all over the field, it just HAD to happen eventually.
But nobody saw a now 20-game winning streak ever happening either.
Thing is, the Dodgers had amassed such a great lead that even going into a funk for the last month wouldn't derail their playoff eligibility. They'll be there.
If they get hot again in October, like earlier in the year -- look out. Could happen.
Conversely, Cleveland may have peaked just a tad early. Can they keep this going for the next six weeks? Likely not.
And if after being so hot they revert to being cold when it matters most, well, who knows? Sure, they're a lock for the post-season as well, but good luck trying to sort THAT scenario out too.
It's baseball. The last place team can beat the first place team on any given day. It happens all the time.
Throw in the Houston Astros, who were already a terrific team from top to bottom having added former Detroit Tiger pitcher Justin Verlander to their rotation, and who would dare count them out?
The wild card races in both leagues remain very interesting with lots of teams still having a legitimate shot to get there. If any of them can reel off a .700 winning percentage for the last 20 games or so -- they're probably in. If any slip to .400 -- they're probably out. And lots of them will play each other before the playoff field is finally set.
And who knows? Some team that snuck into the playoffs on the last day of the regular season just might wind up winning it all.
Yet for my money, the current winning streak aside, methinks the Cleveland Indians are the most talented team, top to bottom, of them all.
But that doesn't mean they're going to win it. They could get bounced early as well.
All it takes is one short slump, and yer outta here when the post-season starts.
Regardless, this has been quite a year in Major League Baseball.
And that Stanton guy from the Miami Marlins might just hit over 60 homers with nary a whisper of the once dreaded steroids.
Pity the mighty NFL, always the gorilla in the sports room, has cranked up another season. And the roundy-round boys and girls of NASCAR are about to enter their "chase" (playoff) races.
These will certainly detract from baseball viewership.
Still, all in all, pretty good stuff from the stick and ball folks.
Tuesday, September 12, 2017
Sunday, September 10, 2017
Lions and Nats. Another year
Detroit football fans are celebrating. HURRAY!!! They managed to defeat the Arizona Cardinals in their season opener. So-called wunderkind QB Matthew Stafford will no doubt be hailed as a hero once again. After all, the "come-back kid" pulled another one out.
Thing is, Arizona's not a very good team. For that matter, neither are the Lions. They remain horribly flawed in several areas. But a win is a win, dad gum it, and let another season of the usual misguided Honolulu blue and silver mania begin.
Yet the brutal truth is inescapable. The Lions aren't going anywhere this year, any more than they have in the last several decades. To think they are even remotely capable of contending for a championship this time around is pure folly.
But the suckers buy in every year. The "one born every minute" adage of P. T. Barnum seems to be in their collective DNA.
Matthew Stafford himself represents the classic good news/bad news scenario. He just re-upped with the Motown puddy-tats for another five years.
The good news is, the modern day Georgia Peach is financially set for life. Likely so are his kids and grand kids, if he ever has any. He's rolling in dough.
The bad news is, he just kissed any chance of winning a Super Bowl good-bye. By the time this contract expires, his "prime" years will be in the rear view mirror. And it ain't gonna happen in Detroit given their history, current situation, and projected future. They're light years away from being taken seriously as contenders.
The Lions may show flashes once in a great while, but overall they are, and have always been perhaps a C- team.
2017 will be no different. Lead em on. Then let em down. A sure as it gets cold in Detroit in the winter, you just KNOW it's going to happen -- again.
On another even more pitiful front are the Washington Nationals.
They just clinched the National League East. Pop, pop, pop, went the champagne bottles in the locker room afterwards.
Never mind that the rest of the teams in that division are pretty much awful. Between Miami, NY Mets, Atlanta, and Philly, none of them are within 5 games of even sporting a .500 record.
And like the Lions, you just KNOW the Nats will lead em on, only to let em down -- again. They'll choke in the postseason, because it's just what they do. Always have. Talent galore, but their collars always get super-tight in October.
See wunderkind pitcher Stephen Strasburg pitch another gem. This dude has some fabulous "stuff". He can bring 100 MPH heat and has a devastating breaking ball as well.
Alas, he's like the aforementioned Matthew Stafford used to be. A proverbial china doll waiting to break.
Can anybody remember the last time he made it through an entire season without injuring one part or another on his body? Especially his throwing arm?
And hey, there's still 20 games left. Plenty of time for him to go on the injured list, and don't be surprised if it happens -- again. Unfortunately, that appears to be in HIS DNA as well. Lead em on, then go on sick leave while still collecting millions, and the team collapses like a house of cards when Hurricane October hits.
It remains truly amazing how fans of both these teams continue to believe -- year, after year, after yet another decade, after having been led down the proverbial primrose path for so long, with a hammer waiting to hit them in the head at the end of it -- every year.
Hey, y'all go for it, if that's what yanks your crank.
Be happy, if even for a short while -- again.
But you just know what's going to eventually happen.
Or at least should by now.
Some things just aren't meant to be......
Thing is, Arizona's not a very good team. For that matter, neither are the Lions. They remain horribly flawed in several areas. But a win is a win, dad gum it, and let another season of the usual misguided Honolulu blue and silver mania begin.
Yet the brutal truth is inescapable. The Lions aren't going anywhere this year, any more than they have in the last several decades. To think they are even remotely capable of contending for a championship this time around is pure folly.
But the suckers buy in every year. The "one born every minute" adage of P. T. Barnum seems to be in their collective DNA.
Matthew Stafford himself represents the classic good news/bad news scenario. He just re-upped with the Motown puddy-tats for another five years.
The good news is, the modern day Georgia Peach is financially set for life. Likely so are his kids and grand kids, if he ever has any. He's rolling in dough.
The bad news is, he just kissed any chance of winning a Super Bowl good-bye. By the time this contract expires, his "prime" years will be in the rear view mirror. And it ain't gonna happen in Detroit given their history, current situation, and projected future. They're light years away from being taken seriously as contenders.
The Lions may show flashes once in a great while, but overall they are, and have always been perhaps a C- team.
2017 will be no different. Lead em on. Then let em down. A sure as it gets cold in Detroit in the winter, you just KNOW it's going to happen -- again.
On another even more pitiful front are the Washington Nationals.
They just clinched the National League East. Pop, pop, pop, went the champagne bottles in the locker room afterwards.
Never mind that the rest of the teams in that division are pretty much awful. Between Miami, NY Mets, Atlanta, and Philly, none of them are within 5 games of even sporting a .500 record.
And like the Lions, you just KNOW the Nats will lead em on, only to let em down -- again. They'll choke in the postseason, because it's just what they do. Always have. Talent galore, but their collars always get super-tight in October.
See wunderkind pitcher Stephen Strasburg pitch another gem. This dude has some fabulous "stuff". He can bring 100 MPH heat and has a devastating breaking ball as well.
Alas, he's like the aforementioned Matthew Stafford used to be. A proverbial china doll waiting to break.
Can anybody remember the last time he made it through an entire season without injuring one part or another on his body? Especially his throwing arm?
And hey, there's still 20 games left. Plenty of time for him to go on the injured list, and don't be surprised if it happens -- again. Unfortunately, that appears to be in HIS DNA as well. Lead em on, then go on sick leave while still collecting millions, and the team collapses like a house of cards when Hurricane October hits.
It remains truly amazing how fans of both these teams continue to believe -- year, after year, after yet another decade, after having been led down the proverbial primrose path for so long, with a hammer waiting to hit them in the head at the end of it -- every year.
Hey, y'all go for it, if that's what yanks your crank.
Be happy, if even for a short while -- again.
But you just know what's going to eventually happen.
Or at least should by now.
Some things just aren't meant to be......
Saturday, September 9, 2017
The usual dreary Big 10 football
It was somewhat surprising Michigan would open the season against a worthy opponent such as Florida, at a neutral site of course. After a semi-impressive win, they got back to their old ways. Scheduling patsies before the conference season begins -- at home, of course. Cincinnati? Really?
Ohio State, the former #2 team in the country, just got blasted at home by a pretty good, if boring Oklahoma team. Hey, when one team controls both sides of the line of scrimmage throughout, it's a pretty safe bet they'll come out on top. Let's not forget these are the same Buckeyes that marched into the football playoffs last year, only to be absolutely obliterated by Clemson. Their #2 ranking was a sham to begin with this year. Kiss that goodbye, by a long shot. They'll be lucky to remain in the top 10 after such a woeful performance against the Sooners.
Elsewhere, the usual mighty Alabama should be ashamed of themselves. They might well be the #1 team in the country -- again. So why is it they load up their pre-conference schedule with patsies as well? Fresno State? Really? Maybe the Campfire Girls had a previous commitment they couldn't get out of to make the trip to Tuscaloosa and suit up against the Tide. Of course Nick Saban and company have never been much at being even remotely capable of shame.
It appears Penn State is back, Good for them. After the horrors that program went through with the boy-toy sexual scandal a while back, it's nice to see them thriving again.
In my opinion, the perennial sad-sacks of the Big 10 -- actually 14 -- but who's counting? -- should be relegated to a lower division, much like what happens in European soccer. If a team hasn't been able to compete for a few years, ship them down a level and bring the best ones of the lower tiers up. Do you hear me Indiana, Illinois, Minnesota, Purdue, and Northwestern? Rutgers and Maryland are still going through their probationary period, but it's not looking good for them either. This was the Big 10's genius idea of expanding their audience all the way to the east coast.
Here's a thought. Other than the financial windfall (see TV and conference sharing money) that comes with it, nobody out there cares about the Big 10. True, Maryland recently went into yee-hah land and knocked off Texas. LOL. But they'll get blistered in the conference before the season is over, and Rutgers remains the weak sisters they always were. Who's kidding who?
And why, somebody tell me WHY, the Big 10 insists on keeping the same name, when they've expanded to 12, and now 14 teams? Can't they count? This might not be the best conference to spend countless thousands of dollars sending one's mathematically gifted child to in order to further their education.
If anybody seriously thinks ANY team in the Big 10 -- 14 -- whatever -- is capable of competing for a national title any year soon in football -- they've either drank way, WAY too much of the Big 10 Kool-aid, or stared too long at the sun during the recent eclipse -- without proper eye protection.
They're either hopelessly inebriated or have the vision of, say, Stevie Wonder.
In the meantime, and for the foreseeable future, the Big 10 may offer an exciting moment here and there.
But for the most part, it remains dreary football compared with so many others around the country.
Ohio State, the former #2 team in the country, just got blasted at home by a pretty good, if boring Oklahoma team. Hey, when one team controls both sides of the line of scrimmage throughout, it's a pretty safe bet they'll come out on top. Let's not forget these are the same Buckeyes that marched into the football playoffs last year, only to be absolutely obliterated by Clemson. Their #2 ranking was a sham to begin with this year. Kiss that goodbye, by a long shot. They'll be lucky to remain in the top 10 after such a woeful performance against the Sooners.
Elsewhere, the usual mighty Alabama should be ashamed of themselves. They might well be the #1 team in the country -- again. So why is it they load up their pre-conference schedule with patsies as well? Fresno State? Really? Maybe the Campfire Girls had a previous commitment they couldn't get out of to make the trip to Tuscaloosa and suit up against the Tide. Of course Nick Saban and company have never been much at being even remotely capable of shame.
It appears Penn State is back, Good for them. After the horrors that program went through with the boy-toy sexual scandal a while back, it's nice to see them thriving again.
In my opinion, the perennial sad-sacks of the Big 10 -- actually 14 -- but who's counting? -- should be relegated to a lower division, much like what happens in European soccer. If a team hasn't been able to compete for a few years, ship them down a level and bring the best ones of the lower tiers up. Do you hear me Indiana, Illinois, Minnesota, Purdue, and Northwestern? Rutgers and Maryland are still going through their probationary period, but it's not looking good for them either. This was the Big 10's genius idea of expanding their audience all the way to the east coast.
Here's a thought. Other than the financial windfall (see TV and conference sharing money) that comes with it, nobody out there cares about the Big 10. True, Maryland recently went into yee-hah land and knocked off Texas. LOL. But they'll get blistered in the conference before the season is over, and Rutgers remains the weak sisters they always were. Who's kidding who?
And why, somebody tell me WHY, the Big 10 insists on keeping the same name, when they've expanded to 12, and now 14 teams? Can't they count? This might not be the best conference to spend countless thousands of dollars sending one's mathematically gifted child to in order to further their education.
If anybody seriously thinks ANY team in the Big 10 -- 14 -- whatever -- is capable of competing for a national title any year soon in football -- they've either drank way, WAY too much of the Big 10 Kool-aid, or stared too long at the sun during the recent eclipse -- without proper eye protection.
They're either hopelessly inebriated or have the vision of, say, Stevie Wonder.
In the meantime, and for the foreseeable future, the Big 10 may offer an exciting moment here and there.
But for the most part, it remains dreary football compared with so many others around the country.
Thursday, September 7, 2017
Outrage!!!!!
You've gotta be kidding me. The first round of the two day finals of the Jeopardy teachers' tournament was pre-empted by an NFL pre-game show?
Instead of being able to view three of the smartest teachers in the country matching wits and trivia knowledge, viewers got a dose of football talking heads blathering on?
Hey, these are the fertile grounds from which nerd jihadists spring forth. No, I won't be strapping myself with explosives any day soon to blow somebody or something up. After all, where would a Jeopardy fan even obtain such materials? I'm pretty sure one can't just sashay into their local hardware store and walk out with a bunch of dynamite or plastic explosive. A keg of nails is a possibility. Maybe I could throw handfuls of them at NBC headquarters, the diabolical perpetrators of such an atrocity. Alas, I don't know where that is. Probably in the LA area, and last time I was there the damn traffic was a nightmare even Freddie Krueger couldn't have outdone.
Still, who wants to hear the likes of Dan Patrick and his lame attempts at humor? Didn't he get zapped from his radio/TV program for poor ratings? And now they give him a prime-time gig? Surely you jest.
And alongside him was Tony Dunge. You remember him. He's still the chrome-dome pointy-headed guy with a speech impediment. Listen to TD blather on about his playing days in Pittsburgh, or coaching days at Indy from so long ago.
Two words. WHO CARES???
Some other black dude, likely a former player that wasn't smart enough to sock away enough money to comfortably retire on, filled out the Larry, Moe, and Curly broadcast.
And these guys could go on for an entire HOUR with their analyses, predictions, player profiles, and other such nonsense?
Again, you've got to be kidding me. Who's in charge of this clown show being foisted upon loyal Jeopardy viewers at the worst possible moment?
The best and brightest of teachers, having made their way through all the testing, preliminary matches, and finally clawing their way to the finals, are displaced by THIS travesty of sports dopes?
[Idle thought. If these guys can talk for an hour while saying nothing even remotely relevant -- I would suggest they missed their true calling in life. Politics, of course.]
Any Jeopardy viewer will tell you the show is quite informational. One can learn lots of things by watching it.
Conversely, NFL pre-game shows mostly appeal to the already stupid people looking to get dumbed down even more.
An outrage indeed.
I hereby issue a fatwah to all nerd jihadists. It is time to rise up and dispatch the infidels that would engage in such disrespectful and insulting behavior to our loyal, honorable and righteous legions.
Meet me at ACO.
We'll figure out something.....
Instead of being able to view three of the smartest teachers in the country matching wits and trivia knowledge, viewers got a dose of football talking heads blathering on?
Hey, these are the fertile grounds from which nerd jihadists spring forth. No, I won't be strapping myself with explosives any day soon to blow somebody or something up. After all, where would a Jeopardy fan even obtain such materials? I'm pretty sure one can't just sashay into their local hardware store and walk out with a bunch of dynamite or plastic explosive. A keg of nails is a possibility. Maybe I could throw handfuls of them at NBC headquarters, the diabolical perpetrators of such an atrocity. Alas, I don't know where that is. Probably in the LA area, and last time I was there the damn traffic was a nightmare even Freddie Krueger couldn't have outdone.
Still, who wants to hear the likes of Dan Patrick and his lame attempts at humor? Didn't he get zapped from his radio/TV program for poor ratings? And now they give him a prime-time gig? Surely you jest.
And alongside him was Tony Dunge. You remember him. He's still the chrome-dome pointy-headed guy with a speech impediment. Listen to TD blather on about his playing days in Pittsburgh, or coaching days at Indy from so long ago.
Two words. WHO CARES???
Some other black dude, likely a former player that wasn't smart enough to sock away enough money to comfortably retire on, filled out the Larry, Moe, and Curly broadcast.
And these guys could go on for an entire HOUR with their analyses, predictions, player profiles, and other such nonsense?
Again, you've got to be kidding me. Who's in charge of this clown show being foisted upon loyal Jeopardy viewers at the worst possible moment?
The best and brightest of teachers, having made their way through all the testing, preliminary matches, and finally clawing their way to the finals, are displaced by THIS travesty of sports dopes?
[Idle thought. If these guys can talk for an hour while saying nothing even remotely relevant -- I would suggest they missed their true calling in life. Politics, of course.]
Any Jeopardy viewer will tell you the show is quite informational. One can learn lots of things by watching it.
Conversely, NFL pre-game shows mostly appeal to the already stupid people looking to get dumbed down even more.
An outrage indeed.
I hereby issue a fatwah to all nerd jihadists. It is time to rise up and dispatch the infidels that would engage in such disrespectful and insulting behavior to our loyal, honorable and righteous legions.
Meet me at ACO.
We'll figure out something.....
Wednesday, September 6, 2017
Really, REALLY dumb things
Well OK. Dallas Cowboy running back Ezekiel Elliot recently had his 6-game suspension upheld after appealing same. This was for his "alleged" not-so-good antics off the field.
But wait a minute. EE will be able to play in the Cowboys' first game. Why? Because the arbiter said the timing of it was -- well -- untimely.
[Could it be that "untimely" translates to that first game being in Dallas, against the NY Giants, predicted to be their main rival in the division this year? Philly and the Skins aren't supposed to be any good. If Da Boys lose the opener, they're already in a big hole. It would be interesting to know what part of the country yon "arbiter" hails from handing down such a puzzling ruling.]
Never mind that this has been in the works for months and a final judgment has been handed down, short of EE and Da Boys pursuing it through the courts. Good luck with that, because then all the sordid details would come out.
So he's suspended, it's upheld upon appeal, but he gets to play one game before it takes effect?
How colossally dumb is that?
To much fanfare, the 4-letter network continues to trumpet the stupendous announcement that Alabama and Miami will meet in a football game -- in 2021.
You've gotta be kidding me. Sure, the Tide has been the real deal in recent years, but the Canes have stunk it up. So who cares whether they play a game 4 years from now?
Good grief, for that matter, if a couple of egomaniacal nitwits don't stop threatening each other with nukes, fire, fury, and annihilation -- we might not even BE here in 2021.
So why should anybody give a rat's behind about some stupid college football game so far in the future?
Dumb, really dumb.
Another window company is up to the same old tricks. Buy one now and get one free. This is basically a half-off sale, but the same question remains. You just know they're still making a hefty profit, so how ridiculous was the mark-up on their products BEFORE the sale?
Oh yeah, dumb indeed.
You know what has to be a really hard job? Being a Detroit Tiger talking head and continuing to find ways to praise them. The ultimate in homerism.
Why won't their network allow the guys they pay a bunch of bucks to to be honest? To wit:
These guys were terrible before the season began. Not a prayer of making the playoffs. Now that they've finally gone into full-blown rebuild mode by ditching what little talent they had -- they're flat-out pitiful. Even their ball-boys are making errors on the sidelines.
Hey, if the TV execs won't let their talking heads be objective and honest about the obvious, they only stand to lose even more credibility than they already have. Who's kidding who?
OK, I admit it. Yours truly has long been a Jeopardy! addict. I always try to catch the show at 7:30.
But there's one thing you can always count on there as well. There will be French involved. Why? Because long-time host Alex Trebeck speaks it fluently and the producers and writers suck up to him by providing answers and questions that allow him to show it off.
It's such a dumb language. Way too many letters that don't even make sense. "Eau" is pronounced "O". Most "Tees" and "Esses" are silent, so why use them? "Manet" is pronounced "Man-ay". "Monet" is "Moan-ay". Alexander Dumas, which looks a whole lot like "dumb ass", is "Doo-Mah". What gives with these people?
French, french, french. Rarely any German, Italian, Gaelic, and you'll wait for a long time before you see any Russian, Mandarin, Farsi, or Urdu.
And if it's not french, there will something Canadian. Oh yes, the esteemed Mr. Trebek is a native canook.
As a little boy, I thought the only salad dressing in the world was french. That's what my mom always used on top of the lettuce, onions, and tomatoes. Maybe it was always on sale, like the windows mentioned above.
It wasn't until high school, at a friend's house, I discovered the wonders of 1000 island, ranch, Italian, and a few others. Wow, this stuff is good.
For that matter, I thought all vegetables in the world came out of Del Monte cans. Already cooked to tasteless mush and even mushier after mom had boiled them for a while. Dang, frozen veggies were almost orgasmic upon the palate when I finally stumbled upon them years later. Where has THIS stuff been all my young life??
So yes, there's plenty of dumbness to go around.
And if you don't believe that, pay close attention to the goings-on in Washington DC, where America's "best and brightest" continue to ply their trades.
Or how the Detroit Lions think they have a shot at getting to the Super Bowl this year.
And I don't know what the proper word for that is.
"Dumb" doesn't seem to do it justice.
What's dumber than dumb?
But wait a minute. EE will be able to play in the Cowboys' first game. Why? Because the arbiter said the timing of it was -- well -- untimely.
[Could it be that "untimely" translates to that first game being in Dallas, against the NY Giants, predicted to be their main rival in the division this year? Philly and the Skins aren't supposed to be any good. If Da Boys lose the opener, they're already in a big hole. It would be interesting to know what part of the country yon "arbiter" hails from handing down such a puzzling ruling.]
Never mind that this has been in the works for months and a final judgment has been handed down, short of EE and Da Boys pursuing it through the courts. Good luck with that, because then all the sordid details would come out.
So he's suspended, it's upheld upon appeal, but he gets to play one game before it takes effect?
How colossally dumb is that?
To much fanfare, the 4-letter network continues to trumpet the stupendous announcement that Alabama and Miami will meet in a football game -- in 2021.
You've gotta be kidding me. Sure, the Tide has been the real deal in recent years, but the Canes have stunk it up. So who cares whether they play a game 4 years from now?
Good grief, for that matter, if a couple of egomaniacal nitwits don't stop threatening each other with nukes, fire, fury, and annihilation -- we might not even BE here in 2021.
So why should anybody give a rat's behind about some stupid college football game so far in the future?
Dumb, really dumb.
Another window company is up to the same old tricks. Buy one now and get one free. This is basically a half-off sale, but the same question remains. You just know they're still making a hefty profit, so how ridiculous was the mark-up on their products BEFORE the sale?
Oh yeah, dumb indeed.
You know what has to be a really hard job? Being a Detroit Tiger talking head and continuing to find ways to praise them. The ultimate in homerism.
Why won't their network allow the guys they pay a bunch of bucks to to be honest? To wit:
These guys were terrible before the season began. Not a prayer of making the playoffs. Now that they've finally gone into full-blown rebuild mode by ditching what little talent they had -- they're flat-out pitiful. Even their ball-boys are making errors on the sidelines.
Hey, if the TV execs won't let their talking heads be objective and honest about the obvious, they only stand to lose even more credibility than they already have. Who's kidding who?
OK, I admit it. Yours truly has long been a Jeopardy! addict. I always try to catch the show at 7:30.
But there's one thing you can always count on there as well. There will be French involved. Why? Because long-time host Alex Trebeck speaks it fluently and the producers and writers suck up to him by providing answers and questions that allow him to show it off.
It's such a dumb language. Way too many letters that don't even make sense. "Eau" is pronounced "O". Most "Tees" and "Esses" are silent, so why use them? "Manet" is pronounced "Man-ay". "Monet" is "Moan-ay". Alexander Dumas, which looks a whole lot like "dumb ass", is "Doo-Mah". What gives with these people?
French, french, french. Rarely any German, Italian, Gaelic, and you'll wait for a long time before you see any Russian, Mandarin, Farsi, or Urdu.
And if it's not french, there will something Canadian. Oh yes, the esteemed Mr. Trebek is a native canook.
As a little boy, I thought the only salad dressing in the world was french. That's what my mom always used on top of the lettuce, onions, and tomatoes. Maybe it was always on sale, like the windows mentioned above.
It wasn't until high school, at a friend's house, I discovered the wonders of 1000 island, ranch, Italian, and a few others. Wow, this stuff is good.
For that matter, I thought all vegetables in the world came out of Del Monte cans. Already cooked to tasteless mush and even mushier after mom had boiled them for a while. Dang, frozen veggies were almost orgasmic upon the palate when I finally stumbled upon them years later. Where has THIS stuff been all my young life??
So yes, there's plenty of dumbness to go around.
And if you don't believe that, pay close attention to the goings-on in Washington DC, where America's "best and brightest" continue to ply their trades.
Or how the Detroit Lions think they have a shot at getting to the Super Bowl this year.
And I don't know what the proper word for that is.
"Dumb" doesn't seem to do it justice.
What's dumber than dumb?
Saturday, September 2, 2017
An open letter from a Tiger fan
Though it was kept low-profile, the Detroit Tigers recently sent a letter to all their season tickets holders begging for their patience while the team goes through the long overdue rebuilding process.
Translation? Keep buying them and we'll get better again. Promise. Someday. Maybe.
Yet if I was one of the recipients of such a letter, I would have crafted my own in response. To wit:
Dear Detroit Tiger ownership
As you know, I've ponied up countless thousands of dollars over the years to attend your games and otherwise support the team. I've drank the ridiculously overprice watered-down beer, and eaten the slop you pass off as food. Nobody would consume that at home. But I've hung in there.
However, you have yet to deliver a championship and, most years, are quite disappointing.
Through certainly no fault of my own, nor any other Tiger fan, the team has gone from bad to flat-out terrible. You sirs, through your own ineptitude and short-sighted ways, are squarely to blame for their current predicament.
Yet I am an open and fair-minded, objective person, so I propose a compromise.
Because you will quite obviously be putting an even more inferior product on the market for the foreseeable future, it would seem only fair that the prices you charge should be reduced accordingly.
With all due respect, only a fool would pay Cadillac prices for a Kia.
Therefore, please recalculate the next invoice you will be sending me to be more in line with fair-market value.
I would suggest at least 50% off what I paid last year. After all, you've been dumping high salaried players like the President does his advisers, so shouldn't your savings be passed along to your customers as well? What could possibly be fairer than that?
Any other business failing to do the same would likely find themselves OUT of business in short order.
When the current season finally, mercifully, comes to an end, I eagerly await your response to what I consider a most reasonable -- and logical -- proposal.
Perhaps we can work something out, but the current state of financial affairs is unsustainable.
And one more thing, if I may. Adjust the concession prices as well, and get some decent grub inside the stadium instead of the dog food, at best, that we have long been forced to tolerate. With the billions of TV money you and other franchises divvy up each year, not to mention paraphernalia sales, it's not like you're going to go bankrupt any year soon. Just be fair. Is that too much to ask?
Respectfully,
Joe Sappy.
PS. For now, but don't take it for granted in the future.
Translation? Keep buying them and we'll get better again. Promise. Someday. Maybe.
Yet if I was one of the recipients of such a letter, I would have crafted my own in response. To wit:
Dear Detroit Tiger ownership
As you know, I've ponied up countless thousands of dollars over the years to attend your games and otherwise support the team. I've drank the ridiculously overprice watered-down beer, and eaten the slop you pass off as food. Nobody would consume that at home. But I've hung in there.
However, you have yet to deliver a championship and, most years, are quite disappointing.
Through certainly no fault of my own, nor any other Tiger fan, the team has gone from bad to flat-out terrible. You sirs, through your own ineptitude and short-sighted ways, are squarely to blame for their current predicament.
Yet I am an open and fair-minded, objective person, so I propose a compromise.
Because you will quite obviously be putting an even more inferior product on the market for the foreseeable future, it would seem only fair that the prices you charge should be reduced accordingly.
With all due respect, only a fool would pay Cadillac prices for a Kia.
Therefore, please recalculate the next invoice you will be sending me to be more in line with fair-market value.
I would suggest at least 50% off what I paid last year. After all, you've been dumping high salaried players like the President does his advisers, so shouldn't your savings be passed along to your customers as well? What could possibly be fairer than that?
Any other business failing to do the same would likely find themselves OUT of business in short order.
When the current season finally, mercifully, comes to an end, I eagerly await your response to what I consider a most reasonable -- and logical -- proposal.
Perhaps we can work something out, but the current state of financial affairs is unsustainable.
And one more thing, if I may. Adjust the concession prices as well, and get some decent grub inside the stadium instead of the dog food, at best, that we have long been forced to tolerate. With the billions of TV money you and other franchises divvy up each year, not to mention paraphernalia sales, it's not like you're going to go bankrupt any year soon. Just be fair. Is that too much to ask?
Respectfully,
Joe Sappy.
PS. For now, but don't take it for granted in the future.
Friday, September 1, 2017
Detroit. A loser in every way
Let's not get into the gory details as to why a recent Mayor of Detroit is serving a 30 year prison sentence for corruption. (And many of his cronies are doing time as well).
And we won't dwell on the fact that Detroit recently went bankrupt -- SURPRISE!!!
Or make too big of a deal over their ongoing blight problem, gangs, drugs, car-jackings, murders, garbage piling up, and just about everything else that could possibly go wrong with a once thriving metropolis.
No, for the purposes of this post, let's look at the professional sports scene in Detroit.
It also is a sorry sight to behold indeed.
Once upon a time, the powers-that-be in Detroit decided to name a brand new venue Joe Louis Arena.
Never mind that Joe Louis, a boxer, was an Alabama native. To boot, he was totally illiterate and, while a great heavyweight champ way back in his day, wound up a penniless and broken down stumble bum. Like so many others, old Joe hung around too long and wound up getting what little brains he ever had beat out in the ring.
So why, somebody tell me WHY, would any town name a hockey -- that's right -- HOCKEY arena after him? Only in Detroit could they come up with such "wisdom". They considered him some sort of hero? REALLY? Oh my.
But the Joe's replacement, one Little Caesar's Arena, has been hailed with great fanfare. True to form, the already beleaguered taxpayers got socked again into paying for most of it. (And a few more booted out of their homes/businesses due the ever dreaded "eminent domain" thing.)
Who will be the primary tenants? That's where it gets even worse.
The Detroit Pistons are projected to be an average team at best in the near future, maybe or maybe not making the playoffs as a lower seed, but even if so will no doubt get blasted in the first round of the playoffs by a vastly superior team. Owner Tom Gores left a world-class facility (the Palace of Auburn Hills), totally paid for by his predecessor, and had even sunk 10-15 million bucks of his own money into upgrades. Then he turns around and moves him team from a fan friendly, virtually crime-free neighborhood back into the dregs of Detroit? Where he has to pay rent?
How colossally bone-headed was that?
The Red Wings themselves, though they'd never admit it, are going through a "rebuilding" phase. Things will get worse, likely much worse, before they get better.
So all hail Little Caesar's Arena. May it's glitter, luxury boxes, and ridiculous seat prices live long and prosper.
Pity they have two such terrible teams to feature. Am I the only one that sees something seriously wrong with this picture?
The Detroit Tigers have, mercifully, finally waved the white flag. They were a team of grossly overpaid and under-performing players before the 2017 season even started. Though the outcome to date has been even worse than yours truly suspected, no way were they going to be contenders. Too many liabilities and not nearly enough assets.
Trading off J. D. Martinez, Justin Upton, and Justin Verlander, arguably their three best players, for "prospects", amounts to little more than a salary dump and signals their own long overdue rebuilding process has finally come about as well. As with the Wings, this could get ugly for a few years.
And that leaves, yep, the Detroit Lions. Given their sad-sack history over the last 60 years or so, you know your sports town is in deep trouble when a team such as the Lions represents your best chance at success in the near future.
But that gets worse as well. In it's most recent issue, the, ahem, genius prognosticators of Sports Illustrated have laid out their predictions for the upcoming NFL season.
Cutting to the final outcome, they predict the New England Patriots will narrowly defeat the Green Bay Packers in the 2018 Super Bowl. Could be. Barring serious injuries to key players, few would doubt both remain elite teams.
Alas, they have the Lions finishing dead last in their own division, the NFC North. That's right, even behind Da Bears. They foresee the puddy-tats winding up with a 5-11 regular season record. Far out of any playoff scenario -- just another year of futility. Hey, what's one more?
But in the end, add it all up and what do you have?
Arguably, the losingest major city in the entire country.
On just about every front any objective person would consider.
Such is the sorry state of Detroit.
And we won't dwell on the fact that Detroit recently went bankrupt -- SURPRISE!!!
Or make too big of a deal over their ongoing blight problem, gangs, drugs, car-jackings, murders, garbage piling up, and just about everything else that could possibly go wrong with a once thriving metropolis.
No, for the purposes of this post, let's look at the professional sports scene in Detroit.
It also is a sorry sight to behold indeed.
Once upon a time, the powers-that-be in Detroit decided to name a brand new venue Joe Louis Arena.
Never mind that Joe Louis, a boxer, was an Alabama native. To boot, he was totally illiterate and, while a great heavyweight champ way back in his day, wound up a penniless and broken down stumble bum. Like so many others, old Joe hung around too long and wound up getting what little brains he ever had beat out in the ring.
So why, somebody tell me WHY, would any town name a hockey -- that's right -- HOCKEY arena after him? Only in Detroit could they come up with such "wisdom". They considered him some sort of hero? REALLY? Oh my.
But the Joe's replacement, one Little Caesar's Arena, has been hailed with great fanfare. True to form, the already beleaguered taxpayers got socked again into paying for most of it. (And a few more booted out of their homes/businesses due the ever dreaded "eminent domain" thing.)
Who will be the primary tenants? That's where it gets even worse.
The Detroit Pistons are projected to be an average team at best in the near future, maybe or maybe not making the playoffs as a lower seed, but even if so will no doubt get blasted in the first round of the playoffs by a vastly superior team. Owner Tom Gores left a world-class facility (the Palace of Auburn Hills), totally paid for by his predecessor, and had even sunk 10-15 million bucks of his own money into upgrades. Then he turns around and moves him team from a fan friendly, virtually crime-free neighborhood back into the dregs of Detroit? Where he has to pay rent?
How colossally bone-headed was that?
The Red Wings themselves, though they'd never admit it, are going through a "rebuilding" phase. Things will get worse, likely much worse, before they get better.
So all hail Little Caesar's Arena. May it's glitter, luxury boxes, and ridiculous seat prices live long and prosper.
Pity they have two such terrible teams to feature. Am I the only one that sees something seriously wrong with this picture?
The Detroit Tigers have, mercifully, finally waved the white flag. They were a team of grossly overpaid and under-performing players before the 2017 season even started. Though the outcome to date has been even worse than yours truly suspected, no way were they going to be contenders. Too many liabilities and not nearly enough assets.
Trading off J. D. Martinez, Justin Upton, and Justin Verlander, arguably their three best players, for "prospects", amounts to little more than a salary dump and signals their own long overdue rebuilding process has finally come about as well. As with the Wings, this could get ugly for a few years.
And that leaves, yep, the Detroit Lions. Given their sad-sack history over the last 60 years or so, you know your sports town is in deep trouble when a team such as the Lions represents your best chance at success in the near future.
But that gets worse as well. In it's most recent issue, the, ahem, genius prognosticators of Sports Illustrated have laid out their predictions for the upcoming NFL season.
Cutting to the final outcome, they predict the New England Patriots will narrowly defeat the Green Bay Packers in the 2018 Super Bowl. Could be. Barring serious injuries to key players, few would doubt both remain elite teams.
Alas, they have the Lions finishing dead last in their own division, the NFC North. That's right, even behind Da Bears. They foresee the puddy-tats winding up with a 5-11 regular season record. Far out of any playoff scenario -- just another year of futility. Hey, what's one more?
But in the end, add it all up and what do you have?
Arguably, the losingest major city in the entire country.
On just about every front any objective person would consider.
Such is the sorry state of Detroit.
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