Once upon a time a man named LaVar Ball was a jock. Pretty good, as the averages go, making it to college and getting a (short) look by the pros. Nah, not good enough. And he sired three sons along the way.
Recently, dear LaVar has said his sons, ahem, potential, was worth -- wait for it -- a BILLION dollars. Of course, nobody, especially the movers and shakers in athletics took him seriously. Far from it. Even the major shoe and apparel companies weren't willing to enlist his boys as clients and give them freebies, let alone mega-bucks.
LaVar was unhappy, so he founded his own company. The Big Baller brand. You have to give the man credit for having large cajones indeed by daring to introduce such a laughable concept. Pity he seems to remain woefully short in the firing cranial neurons department.
True, like the late Mohammed Ali, such black and racially slanted bluster will always get its followers. Keep talking smack, no matter how ridiculous, and the fools will look up to you as some sort of hero. Some still even maintain Ali was the "greatest" of all time. That is utterly absurd. He was defeated by Joe Frazier, beaten up by Ken Norton, who was robbed of an obvious win in their rematch, and even lost to Leon Spinks. LEON SPINKS!! In his later years, Ali was absolutely destroyed by Larry Holmes, before he finally whimpered out with a loss to Trevor Berbick. Six defeats, many of them convincingly so, is hardly the stuff of "greatest".
But back to the Ball family.
Daddy's oldest son Lonzo was predictably taken high in the draft by the LA Lakers. Sure, he's still a rookie, but so far he has some rather impressive stats as well. As in the worst shooting percentage in the entire league. Ditto for free throws. His foul shot attempts more closely resemble that of klutzes like Shaq, Wilt, or the Detroit Pistons' Andre Drummond than that of your usual run up and down the court guard. Is dear Lonzo a bust yet? Maybe not, but he certainly appears headed in that direction.
And now dad has pulled his second son, one LiAngelo, out of UCLA, a premier basketball program, before he's even played an official game for them. Remember, dear LiAngelo got busted in China for being a common thief. Dad thinks the prudent thing to do is take LiAngelo out of any chance at a higher education, so he can train for his "future" NBA career.
That would seem to beg a question. What team in their right mind would draft this kid if he got bounced out of college before ever playing a game, and with the circus daddy would surely bring to town if an NBA team took a chance of him? Good luck with that.
There appears to be one more Ball child still in the high school pipeline. What's his name again? LiAbility? LaCivious? LeThug waiting to happen? Beats me.
But if he came from the same daddy and even remotely wants to follow in his diddy-bopping, trash-talking footsteps as to the litany of the absurd and vastly self-overrated, then his chances of success in a sane world probably aren't very good either.
Here's an idea. Keep him out of China, or any other foreign country. Couldn't hurt.
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
Sunday, December 3, 2017
Final Four football predictions
#1 Clemson vs #4 Alabama in the Sugar Bowl.
While the Tide back-doored their way into the playoffs, and their aura of greatness persists, real or imagined, they ain't what they used to be. Indeed, Auburn showed them to be vulnerable and a few of their games against less than quality competition were much closer than they should have been.
True, Bama is loaded with bigger, stronger, faster five star recruits from top to bottom, but what they don't have is brains.
Nick the -ick (fill in your own blank) Sabin gets to face off with his nemesis Dabo from Clemson once again. We know how the championship game turned out last year.
On the other hand, though it was a head scratcher, Clemson's earlier loss to a not-so-good Syracuse team was probably the best thing that could have happened to them. It woke them up and got them refocused. Since then, the Tigers have looked, well, formidable. Leshaun who? He's gone and Clemson is everybody bit as good as they were last year.
Prediction.
Though it's hard fought for three quarters or so, the defending national champs pull away towards the end of the game and slay the muscular, if dim-witted beast from Tuscaloosa once again and move on.
#2 Oklahoma vs #3 Georgia in the Rose Bowl.
Who would have ever imagined two teams like the Sooners and Bulldogs would wind up in Pasadena? Definitely a first.
Both appear to be on a roll, hence making it into the Final Four to begin with.
The Okies are Big 12 champs and the Dawgs kings of the SEC.
OU had an impressive win earlier in the year, waltzing into Ohio State and putting a thumping on the Buckeyes. But they were equally perplexing when an unranked Iowa State team came-a-calling in Norman and put a beat down on them. They feature quarterback Baker Mayfield, a front runner for the Heisman this year. When they're on their game, they're really good. But will they be on their game against....
Georgia. The Dawgs were rolling right along, even #1 in the country at one point. But like Alabama (also #1 at the time), they got kicked to the curb by that pesky Auburn. Thing is, Georgia came roaring back to avenge that loss in the SEC championship game, trashing the "other" Tigers. Tit for tat indeed, but when it mattered most, they were up to the task.
Prediction. The high-speed finesse of Oklahoma butting heads with the brute force of Georgia.
I think the Sooners eventually wilt under what the Dawgs will bring all game long. Like the Clemson scenario mentioned above, Georgia getting beat earlier by Auburn made them tougher and better in the long run.
And that would mean it will be Clemson and Georgia facing off for all the proverbial marbles.
Of course, like Sports Illustrated and my late father, yours truly seems to have this uncanny knack of always getting his predictions wrong.
But it should be a couple of pretty good games to watch nevertheless.
Hey, what better way to sober up, at least temporarily, than kick back and watch four really good teams slug it out on New Year's Day?
While the Tide back-doored their way into the playoffs, and their aura of greatness persists, real or imagined, they ain't what they used to be. Indeed, Auburn showed them to be vulnerable and a few of their games against less than quality competition were much closer than they should have been.
True, Bama is loaded with bigger, stronger, faster five star recruits from top to bottom, but what they don't have is brains.
Nick the -ick (fill in your own blank) Sabin gets to face off with his nemesis Dabo from Clemson once again. We know how the championship game turned out last year.
On the other hand, though it was a head scratcher, Clemson's earlier loss to a not-so-good Syracuse team was probably the best thing that could have happened to them. It woke them up and got them refocused. Since then, the Tigers have looked, well, formidable. Leshaun who? He's gone and Clemson is everybody bit as good as they were last year.
Prediction.
Though it's hard fought for three quarters or so, the defending national champs pull away towards the end of the game and slay the muscular, if dim-witted beast from Tuscaloosa once again and move on.
#2 Oklahoma vs #3 Georgia in the Rose Bowl.
Who would have ever imagined two teams like the Sooners and Bulldogs would wind up in Pasadena? Definitely a first.
Both appear to be on a roll, hence making it into the Final Four to begin with.
The Okies are Big 12 champs and the Dawgs kings of the SEC.
OU had an impressive win earlier in the year, waltzing into Ohio State and putting a thumping on the Buckeyes. But they were equally perplexing when an unranked Iowa State team came-a-calling in Norman and put a beat down on them. They feature quarterback Baker Mayfield, a front runner for the Heisman this year. When they're on their game, they're really good. But will they be on their game against....
Georgia. The Dawgs were rolling right along, even #1 in the country at one point. But like Alabama (also #1 at the time), they got kicked to the curb by that pesky Auburn. Thing is, Georgia came roaring back to avenge that loss in the SEC championship game, trashing the "other" Tigers. Tit for tat indeed, but when it mattered most, they were up to the task.
Prediction. The high-speed finesse of Oklahoma butting heads with the brute force of Georgia.
I think the Sooners eventually wilt under what the Dawgs will bring all game long. Like the Clemson scenario mentioned above, Georgia getting beat earlier by Auburn made them tougher and better in the long run.
And that would mean it will be Clemson and Georgia facing off for all the proverbial marbles.
Of course, like Sports Illustrated and my late father, yours truly seems to have this uncanny knack of always getting his predictions wrong.
But it should be a couple of pretty good games to watch nevertheless.
Hey, what better way to sober up, at least temporarily, than kick back and watch four really good teams slug it out on New Year's Day?
The play that wasn't called
Well, OK, it was ONLY the, as usual, terrible Cleveland Browns. They have long been the NFL's version of Murphy's Law. Between botched draft choices, a woefully incompetent front office hiring pitiful coaches, and even the play on the field -- if something can go wrong -- it WILL go wrong with the Browns.
But they got jobbed in the game earlier today against the Los Angeles Chargers. Here was the scenario....
With about a minute left to play in the game, the Chargers were ahead 19-10. It seemed like a lock -- a two score difference.
To nobody's great surprise, the Cleveland quarterback made yet another Murphy decision and threw a pass directly into the hands of a Charger defensive back for an easy interception. Game over, right?
Not so fast. It shouldn't have been.
Upon further review, the Charger defensive back indeed went to the ground -- but he was never touched by an opponent. In college ball, going down is the end of a play. Not so in pro ball. The play remains "live" until the ball carrier is touched.
See the intercepting defensive back, in celebration mode, get up and run all the way back into his own end zone, surrounded by teammates whooping it up. And THERE he took a knee.
Translation? If the refs had followed the rules, that constituted a safety. Two points for Cleveland.
The score would then have been 19-12, and the Chargers would have had to kick it back to the Browns for one more shot.
And though it seems unlikely -- it's the Browns, remember? -- they still would have theoretically had the chance to quickly march down the field to score a touchdown. An extra point would have tied it and sent the game into overtime. A successful two-point conversion would have -- OMG -- even conceivably given them their first victory of the season.
But nobody noticed, or cared, because it's Cleveland. If their coaching staff on the sidelines had the semblance of even a vague clue, they would have thrown the red flag and demanded a review of the play. But because they remain clueless, they didn't.
In the whole scheme of things, does it really matter much?
Probably not.
But dammit, the rules are the rules.
The least the on-field officials, and those mysterious "guys in the booth" can do is follow them correctly.
But they got jobbed in the game earlier today against the Los Angeles Chargers. Here was the scenario....
With about a minute left to play in the game, the Chargers were ahead 19-10. It seemed like a lock -- a two score difference.
To nobody's great surprise, the Cleveland quarterback made yet another Murphy decision and threw a pass directly into the hands of a Charger defensive back for an easy interception. Game over, right?
Not so fast. It shouldn't have been.
Upon further review, the Charger defensive back indeed went to the ground -- but he was never touched by an opponent. In college ball, going down is the end of a play. Not so in pro ball. The play remains "live" until the ball carrier is touched.
See the intercepting defensive back, in celebration mode, get up and run all the way back into his own end zone, surrounded by teammates whooping it up. And THERE he took a knee.
Translation? If the refs had followed the rules, that constituted a safety. Two points for Cleveland.
The score would then have been 19-12, and the Chargers would have had to kick it back to the Browns for one more shot.
And though it seems unlikely -- it's the Browns, remember? -- they still would have theoretically had the chance to quickly march down the field to score a touchdown. An extra point would have tied it and sent the game into overtime. A successful two-point conversion would have -- OMG -- even conceivably given them their first victory of the season.
But nobody noticed, or cared, because it's Cleveland. If their coaching staff on the sidelines had the semblance of even a vague clue, they would have thrown the red flag and demanded a review of the play. But because they remain clueless, they didn't.
In the whole scheme of things, does it really matter much?
Probably not.
But dammit, the rules are the rules.
The least the on-field officials, and those mysterious "guys in the booth" can do is follow them correctly.
Saturday, December 2, 2017
Three locks and a maybe
After quite the day of exciting college football action, the Final Four has been set in stone. Well, at least three of them.
As noted in my previous post a mere couple hours ago, Oklahoma is a lock as Big 12 champs, finishing up on a high note by demolishing TCU.
One loss Georgia avenged that very setback to Auburn earlier by pummeling the Tigers in the SEC championship game. Count the Dawgs in.
Already #1, Clemson absolutely pounded Miami for the ACC crown. That means U, U, yes U, can slink back to South Beach, South Park, Little Havana, or whatever it is you call home with your heads hung in shame. U just got punked. So yes, Clemson has most definitely punched their ticket.
Three in and one to yet be decided. And that's where things get interesting.
Ohio State barely -- BARELY -- hung on to down previously undefeated Wisconsin in the Big 10 -- actually 14, go figure -- conference championship game. That means the Badgers are out. Many have been looking for a reason to deny them a shot all year and now they have one.
So who will be the fourth and final team invited to the big dance?
Remember, Alabama was sitting at #5 going into today's action, and they were idle.
Auburn, which handily defeated the Tide just a week ago, went down in flames to Georgia, as mentioned above.
The "committee" is faced with the tough call of deciding whether to put two SEC teams into the Final Four (Bama and Georgia), which would mean the Big 10 gets shut out entirely, or elevating Ohio State back into the picture.
Let's not forget that OSU was thoroughly beaten in their own house early in the season by the very same Oklahoma. No shame there. But later getting woodshedded by an unranked Iowa team to the tune of over four touchdowns worth is a glaring flaw on their record.
So, therefore, ergo, and thus, yours truly suspects it will boil down to what I've predicted all along.
Yep, that pesky Nick Saban and his Tide are going to get another shot. Even though they couldn't even qualify for their own conference championship game, and sat back twiddling their thumbs while the other big boys were killing each other on Saturday.
Maybe they deserve it. Maybe not. And the Big Ten folks and fans will scream "NO FAIR" at being left out.
But somehow it just doesn't feel or smell right.
That's not even to mention Central Florida, which went undefeated all year, but was never even in the conversation for a title shot. A lesser conference, you say? Maybe so, but how do we know the Knights couldn't compete, and possibly defeat some of those same Final Four "big boys" on the national stage if they're denied the chance to do so?
That doesn't feel right either.
Want a reason to expand the national playoff to at least eight teams?
I give you Central Florida as Exhibit A.
As noted in my previous post a mere couple hours ago, Oklahoma is a lock as Big 12 champs, finishing up on a high note by demolishing TCU.
One loss Georgia avenged that very setback to Auburn earlier by pummeling the Tigers in the SEC championship game. Count the Dawgs in.
Already #1, Clemson absolutely pounded Miami for the ACC crown. That means U, U, yes U, can slink back to South Beach, South Park, Little Havana, or whatever it is you call home with your heads hung in shame. U just got punked. So yes, Clemson has most definitely punched their ticket.
Three in and one to yet be decided. And that's where things get interesting.
Ohio State barely -- BARELY -- hung on to down previously undefeated Wisconsin in the Big 10 -- actually 14, go figure -- conference championship game. That means the Badgers are out. Many have been looking for a reason to deny them a shot all year and now they have one.
So who will be the fourth and final team invited to the big dance?
Remember, Alabama was sitting at #5 going into today's action, and they were idle.
Auburn, which handily defeated the Tide just a week ago, went down in flames to Georgia, as mentioned above.
The "committee" is faced with the tough call of deciding whether to put two SEC teams into the Final Four (Bama and Georgia), which would mean the Big 10 gets shut out entirely, or elevating Ohio State back into the picture.
Let's not forget that OSU was thoroughly beaten in their own house early in the season by the very same Oklahoma. No shame there. But later getting woodshedded by an unranked Iowa team to the tune of over four touchdowns worth is a glaring flaw on their record.
So, therefore, ergo, and thus, yours truly suspects it will boil down to what I've predicted all along.
Yep, that pesky Nick Saban and his Tide are going to get another shot. Even though they couldn't even qualify for their own conference championship game, and sat back twiddling their thumbs while the other big boys were killing each other on Saturday.
Maybe they deserve it. Maybe not. And the Big Ten folks and fans will scream "NO FAIR" at being left out.
But somehow it just doesn't feel or smell right.
That's not even to mention Central Florida, which went undefeated all year, but was never even in the conversation for a title shot. A lesser conference, you say? Maybe so, but how do we know the Knights couldn't compete, and possibly defeat some of those same Final Four "big boys" on the national stage if they're denied the chance to do so?
That doesn't feel right either.
Want a reason to expand the national playoff to at least eight teams?
I give you Central Florida as Exhibit A.
Working on the Final Four
Despite their mysterious loss at home to Iowa State a while back, Oklahoma has just punched their ticket into college football's Final Four. As Big 12 champs, culminating with a resounding defeat of TCU -- they're in. Lock city.
That's one.
Auburn, formerly #2 in the country after dispatching that pesky Bama, is decidedly out. This what happens when Georgia, whom the Tigers smacked down earlier in the season, avenges itself with a woodshed whupping over the same Auburn team in the SEC championship game.
Count the Dawgs in.
That's two.
With #5 Alabama sitting at home twiddling their thumbs, the rest gets pretty interesting.
If Wisconsin defeats Ohio State, game currently underway, there will be no holding them out of the Final Four, despite how so many over the season keep looking for a reason to do so. Big Ten champs with an undefeated record? They'd be a lock as well.
But -- if the Buckeyes prevail, do they get elevated into the Final Four, even as a two-loss team? In effect leap-frogging Alabama which only had one? Hmmm.
Go back to Georgia. Before the game against Auburn, the Dawgs were ranked #6. They're the SEC champs and Bama didn't even make it to the conference championship game. Is it indeed a lock that a #6 jumps over an idle #5? Hmmm again.
In the ACC conference championship game, also currently underway, #1 Clemson is tangling with the Miami Hurricanes. If the Tigers win, they're a no-brainer to head back to attempt to defend their national title. (Despite their equally head scratching loss at lowly Syracuse a couple months back.)
But what if they lose? Chances are they'd drop out.
One way or the other, by hook or by crook, yours truly suspects that pesky Nick Sabin and his crew are going to back door their way into the Final Four again, even though other teams are slugging it out while they do nothing.
We shall see.
Stay tuned for an update later.....
That's one.
Auburn, formerly #2 in the country after dispatching that pesky Bama, is decidedly out. This what happens when Georgia, whom the Tigers smacked down earlier in the season, avenges itself with a woodshed whupping over the same Auburn team in the SEC championship game.
Count the Dawgs in.
That's two.
With #5 Alabama sitting at home twiddling their thumbs, the rest gets pretty interesting.
If Wisconsin defeats Ohio State, game currently underway, there will be no holding them out of the Final Four, despite how so many over the season keep looking for a reason to do so. Big Ten champs with an undefeated record? They'd be a lock as well.
But -- if the Buckeyes prevail, do they get elevated into the Final Four, even as a two-loss team? In effect leap-frogging Alabama which only had one? Hmmm.
Go back to Georgia. Before the game against Auburn, the Dawgs were ranked #6. They're the SEC champs and Bama didn't even make it to the conference championship game. Is it indeed a lock that a #6 jumps over an idle #5? Hmmm again.
In the ACC conference championship game, also currently underway, #1 Clemson is tangling with the Miami Hurricanes. If the Tigers win, they're a no-brainer to head back to attempt to defend their national title. (Despite their equally head scratching loss at lowly Syracuse a couple months back.)
But what if they lose? Chances are they'd drop out.
One way or the other, by hook or by crook, yours truly suspects that pesky Nick Sabin and his crew are going to back door their way into the Final Four again, even though other teams are slugging it out while they do nothing.
We shall see.
Stay tuned for an update later.....
Thursday, November 30, 2017
The Tiger Woods show
Welcome to the greatest spectacle on earth (or at least in American sports), boys and girls.
Yessirree, step right up and get your peanuts, corn dogs, and cotton candy. You thought circuses were a thing of the past? Not so. One is still very much alive and well.
That would be the Eldrick Tont Woods (sometimes known as Tiger) show.
Sound the trumpets, bring on the dancing girls, and all ye peons fall to your knees in awe. Yep, the almighty Tiger has made his triumphant return to golf. Again, for the umpteenth time.
Many have said this supposedly monumental occasion has been "long awaited".
There are others, including yours truly, that considered it "long dreaded".
Nevertheless, there was the, ahem, honorable Eldrick participating in a mini-golf tournament called the Hero Challenge. Indeed, hard as it is to believe, some actually still consider Woods some sort of hero. Crazy, I know.
And sure enough, when the first round was over, the fawning media went right back to their old tricks. An interview with Tiger. Then another one, while totally ignoring the players that had fared better on the course. My stomach was starting to get a bit queasy.
They screamed to the heavens that, OMG, Tiger was on the leader board at three under par. Nevermind that in a meager eighteen man field it's pretty hard NOT to be on the leader board, and he was in a modest eighth place.
Yet here's the thing. This particular field included eight of the top nine rated golfers in the world. You know, studs like Dustin Johnson, Justin Rose, Jordan Spieth, Rickey Fowler, and Matt Kuchar.
So here's a question. How, pray tell, did Eldrick, who was ranked roughly #1200 in the world, belong in this tournament in the first place? 1200? Did anybody know the rankings even went down that far? They probably otherwise wouldn't, except the rankers had to find a way to keep Eldrick in the conversation.
Even if ET Woods finishes dead last -- and he might very well crash and burn like the Hindenburg over the next few days -- he'll still zoom up all the way to -- wait for it -- inside the top 1000. Well glory hallelujah and call the adoring masses to prayer to give thanks. Meanwhile, I'm reaching for the Pepto to try and quell the growing unease in my abdomen. Urp.
But that wasn't enough for the pseudo hero-worshipers (see TV folks) trying to resurrect their fallen idol.
Oh no, they had to show the public another huge dose of Eldrick "highlights", over and over and over. See Tiger drive. See Tiger putt. See Tiger strolling up the fairways. See everything Tiger, ad nauseum, and then in slo-mo a few more times.
And that did it. I had no choice but to run to the throne, get on my knees, and do a little worshiping of the porcelain receptacle myself. Barf.
Here's the last questions. What does it take for supposedly otherwise semi-intelligent people to finally understand this guy isn't any good any more? And why do they keep trying to make him a hero, when he's obviously proven he's anything but in so many ways?
Woods has about as much chance of coming back to the tour and winning anything, much less being dominant, as I have of becoming Mr. Universe next year.
True, anything's theoretically possible, save perhaps a certain president acting his age, but let's just say the odds aren't exactly good for any of these things to happen.
The moral of the story?
Stick a long overdue fork in dear Eldrick. Good grief. If his ex Elin had succeeded in rightfully taking a divot out of his head with one of his own clubs when the poor lass discovered the breadth of her husband's infidelity, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. And his legendary back problems would be the least of his worries.
Like it or not, the dude's done, and has been -- heavy on the "HAS BEEN" -- for quite some time.
Much like Humpty Dumpty, there just ain't no putting that critter back together again.
One can only wonder how long it will take before the media allows him to mercifully -- for objective sports fans -- slide into the oblivion he has so long deserved.
Yessirree, step right up and get your peanuts, corn dogs, and cotton candy. You thought circuses were a thing of the past? Not so. One is still very much alive and well.
That would be the Eldrick Tont Woods (sometimes known as Tiger) show.
Sound the trumpets, bring on the dancing girls, and all ye peons fall to your knees in awe. Yep, the almighty Tiger has made his triumphant return to golf. Again, for the umpteenth time.
Many have said this supposedly monumental occasion has been "long awaited".
There are others, including yours truly, that considered it "long dreaded".
Nevertheless, there was the, ahem, honorable Eldrick participating in a mini-golf tournament called the Hero Challenge. Indeed, hard as it is to believe, some actually still consider Woods some sort of hero. Crazy, I know.
And sure enough, when the first round was over, the fawning media went right back to their old tricks. An interview with Tiger. Then another one, while totally ignoring the players that had fared better on the course. My stomach was starting to get a bit queasy.
They screamed to the heavens that, OMG, Tiger was on the leader board at three under par. Nevermind that in a meager eighteen man field it's pretty hard NOT to be on the leader board, and he was in a modest eighth place.
Yet here's the thing. This particular field included eight of the top nine rated golfers in the world. You know, studs like Dustin Johnson, Justin Rose, Jordan Spieth, Rickey Fowler, and Matt Kuchar.
So here's a question. How, pray tell, did Eldrick, who was ranked roughly #1200 in the world, belong in this tournament in the first place? 1200? Did anybody know the rankings even went down that far? They probably otherwise wouldn't, except the rankers had to find a way to keep Eldrick in the conversation.
Even if ET Woods finishes dead last -- and he might very well crash and burn like the Hindenburg over the next few days -- he'll still zoom up all the way to -- wait for it -- inside the top 1000. Well glory hallelujah and call the adoring masses to prayer to give thanks. Meanwhile, I'm reaching for the Pepto to try and quell the growing unease in my abdomen. Urp.
But that wasn't enough for the pseudo hero-worshipers (see TV folks) trying to resurrect their fallen idol.
Oh no, they had to show the public another huge dose of Eldrick "highlights", over and over and over. See Tiger drive. See Tiger putt. See Tiger strolling up the fairways. See everything Tiger, ad nauseum, and then in slo-mo a few more times.
And that did it. I had no choice but to run to the throne, get on my knees, and do a little worshiping of the porcelain receptacle myself. Barf.
Here's the last questions. What does it take for supposedly otherwise semi-intelligent people to finally understand this guy isn't any good any more? And why do they keep trying to make him a hero, when he's obviously proven he's anything but in so many ways?
Woods has about as much chance of coming back to the tour and winning anything, much less being dominant, as I have of becoming Mr. Universe next year.
True, anything's theoretically possible, save perhaps a certain president acting his age, but let's just say the odds aren't exactly good for any of these things to happen.
The moral of the story?
Stick a long overdue fork in dear Eldrick. Good grief. If his ex Elin had succeeded in rightfully taking a divot out of his head with one of his own clubs when the poor lass discovered the breadth of her husband's infidelity, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. And his legendary back problems would be the least of his worries.
Like it or not, the dude's done, and has been -- heavy on the "HAS BEEN" -- for quite some time.
Much like Humpty Dumpty, there just ain't no putting that critter back together again.
One can only wonder how long it will take before the media allows him to mercifully -- for objective sports fans -- slide into the oblivion he has so long deserved.
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
More dumb things
Interesting TV ad. Call this Senator (pick one) to thank them for everything he/she has done for you during their time in office. Right.
But they don't list a phone number. How dumb is that?
UVerse is an amazing system offered by A.T.&T. Yours truly subscribes to it. Besides throwing in a free DVR, pretty handy, they've figured out a way to have thousands of TV channels, your phone(s), and computer(s) all come through the same little cable into your domicile. Did I mention amazing?
But here's the thing. They also say in the unlikely event such service is disrupted for any reason, punch up a certain number on your phone or go online to a specific site for assistance in restoring it.
Well gee, that's great, except for a couple minor details. If the service is out, your phone won't work, and your computer will be incapable of going online. Who's the genius that came up with this idiocy? Anybody home A.T. &T?
And buyer beware. Yep, you can get the first couple years at a cut-rate price. See bait. But when that offer runs out, it's hammer time in your wallet.
On to sports.
Michael Crabtree of the Oakland Raiders and Aqib Talib of the Denver Broncos evidently don't much care for each other. But as you've likely seen on replays, they went nuts during a recent game with their childish little feud. For this lunacy, they were originally suspended for two games, but that was subsequently reduced to one. These clowns should have been suspended for the rest of the season, obviously without pay, and made to take anger management classes. And a quick trip to the woodshed, with their head coaches brandishing "switches" to light their ignorant butts up wouldn't have been a bad idea either.
And how dumb do you have to be (hello Michael Crabtree) to try and throw punches at an opponent when he still has his helmet on? If I was Talib, let the fool hit me in the face mask with his fist, rather than trying to duck and run. In fact, lean into it. Who do you think would get the worse of that encounter? Can you say broken fingers and/or hand? Stupidity at its finest, both ways.
So Eli Manning of the NY Giants has been benched, and many are in an uproar about it. Hey, this guy's been stinking it up for the last couple years, and has always been grossly over rated. It remains absolutely confounding how the Giants were able to knock off the undefeated New England Patriots in the Super Bowl a few years ago. It was sort of like the "Miracle on Ice" team the USA had way back in the 1980 Olympics. They defeated the might Soviet Red Army team in the semi-finals.
Tell ya what. Let either of those games be played ten more times, and neither Eli and the Giants nor those American college kids would win a single one of them. They'd all be blow-outs. A couple of flukes if there ever was.
It's reminiscent of the late Mohammed Ali defeating George Foreman in the "rumble in the jungle" a few decades ago with the "rope-a-dope" tactic. You'll notice Ali never gave big George the opportunity of a rematch. The "grill" man wouldn't have fallen for the same ruse again, and Ali knew it, so he took the cowardly way out and didn't give the big man another chance. Even though Ali himself, after having first being defeated by Smokin' Joe Frazier quickly got a re-match. And after getting pummeled by Ken Norton Sr. in their first go-round got another chance as well. He lost that fight too, everywhere but on the (likely rigged judges) scorecards. Smart moves by Ali. Dumb for the boxing world to tolerate such obvious shenanigans. Either man up or get out.
Same thing with Roberto Duran and Sugar Ray Leonard. First time around, Duran thumped Leonard thoroughly. In the rematch, Duran has been known ever since as the "no mas" guy that quit. So who knows? Maybe he had some serious stomach problems or internal bleeding going on. But Leonard walked off into the sunset, never offering a rubber match and was somehow anointed a hero. Duran has been equally shamed over all the years since. They fought twice and each one once. It's dumb to consider one so much better than the other, especially given Leonard's silver-spoon treatment throughout his career while Duran was clawing his way to stardom from the ghettos of Panama. And while the latter was likely the greatest lightweight of all time, he had to take a big leap into the next weight class up to face Leonard in the first place.
Interesting how the NFL is trying to buy it's way -- see major donations to "worthy" causes -- out of the players kneeling during the national anthem snafu. Sure, the league can easily afford to throw a few million at one entity or another. Chump change. What will be even more interesting is if the league stipulates that by doing so, every single player must stand. If even one takes a knee, the deal's off. No free money. What do you think the chances are of THAT happening -- either way? You just know there will be at least one idiot that has to take a "stance" and foul up the whole works.
Hey, this whole thing has been overblown since the start. If players don't want to stand -- who cares? It's not like it's taking money from or otherwise hurting anybody else -- except their precious "feelings". You'll notice said players haven't demanded others take a knee. So who is anybody else to tell them how to act when their First Amendment rights of "freedom of expression" clearly grant them the right to protest in such a manner? This has been top to bottom dumb since that former San Fran QB took a knee in the first place. Did I mention -- why would any sane person care? If you don't like it, by all means feel free to boycott the NFL. That is your right as well, but shut up. Don't those howling the loudest have anything better to concern themselves with? If not, three words. Get a life.
And just when you think it can't possibly get any dumber ---
Enter the tried and true folks at the Accuweather Service.
They have fearlessly predicted the northern parts of the USA will get colder as Christmas and the New Year approach.
Well dang, bet you'd have never thought of that.
Please.
But they don't list a phone number. How dumb is that?
UVerse is an amazing system offered by A.T.&T. Yours truly subscribes to it. Besides throwing in a free DVR, pretty handy, they've figured out a way to have thousands of TV channels, your phone(s), and computer(s) all come through the same little cable into your domicile. Did I mention amazing?
But here's the thing. They also say in the unlikely event such service is disrupted for any reason, punch up a certain number on your phone or go online to a specific site for assistance in restoring it.
Well gee, that's great, except for a couple minor details. If the service is out, your phone won't work, and your computer will be incapable of going online. Who's the genius that came up with this idiocy? Anybody home A.T. &T?
And buyer beware. Yep, you can get the first couple years at a cut-rate price. See bait. But when that offer runs out, it's hammer time in your wallet.
On to sports.
Michael Crabtree of the Oakland Raiders and Aqib Talib of the Denver Broncos evidently don't much care for each other. But as you've likely seen on replays, they went nuts during a recent game with their childish little feud. For this lunacy, they were originally suspended for two games, but that was subsequently reduced to one. These clowns should have been suspended for the rest of the season, obviously without pay, and made to take anger management classes. And a quick trip to the woodshed, with their head coaches brandishing "switches" to light their ignorant butts up wouldn't have been a bad idea either.
And how dumb do you have to be (hello Michael Crabtree) to try and throw punches at an opponent when he still has his helmet on? If I was Talib, let the fool hit me in the face mask with his fist, rather than trying to duck and run. In fact, lean into it. Who do you think would get the worse of that encounter? Can you say broken fingers and/or hand? Stupidity at its finest, both ways.
So Eli Manning of the NY Giants has been benched, and many are in an uproar about it. Hey, this guy's been stinking it up for the last couple years, and has always been grossly over rated. It remains absolutely confounding how the Giants were able to knock off the undefeated New England Patriots in the Super Bowl a few years ago. It was sort of like the "Miracle on Ice" team the USA had way back in the 1980 Olympics. They defeated the might Soviet Red Army team in the semi-finals.
Tell ya what. Let either of those games be played ten more times, and neither Eli and the Giants nor those American college kids would win a single one of them. They'd all be blow-outs. A couple of flukes if there ever was.
It's reminiscent of the late Mohammed Ali defeating George Foreman in the "rumble in the jungle" a few decades ago with the "rope-a-dope" tactic. You'll notice Ali never gave big George the opportunity of a rematch. The "grill" man wouldn't have fallen for the same ruse again, and Ali knew it, so he took the cowardly way out and didn't give the big man another chance. Even though Ali himself, after having first being defeated by Smokin' Joe Frazier quickly got a re-match. And after getting pummeled by Ken Norton Sr. in their first go-round got another chance as well. He lost that fight too, everywhere but on the (likely rigged judges) scorecards. Smart moves by Ali. Dumb for the boxing world to tolerate such obvious shenanigans. Either man up or get out.
Same thing with Roberto Duran and Sugar Ray Leonard. First time around, Duran thumped Leonard thoroughly. In the rematch, Duran has been known ever since as the "no mas" guy that quit. So who knows? Maybe he had some serious stomach problems or internal bleeding going on. But Leonard walked off into the sunset, never offering a rubber match and was somehow anointed a hero. Duran has been equally shamed over all the years since. They fought twice and each one once. It's dumb to consider one so much better than the other, especially given Leonard's silver-spoon treatment throughout his career while Duran was clawing his way to stardom from the ghettos of Panama. And while the latter was likely the greatest lightweight of all time, he had to take a big leap into the next weight class up to face Leonard in the first place.
Interesting how the NFL is trying to buy it's way -- see major donations to "worthy" causes -- out of the players kneeling during the national anthem snafu. Sure, the league can easily afford to throw a few million at one entity or another. Chump change. What will be even more interesting is if the league stipulates that by doing so, every single player must stand. If even one takes a knee, the deal's off. No free money. What do you think the chances are of THAT happening -- either way? You just know there will be at least one idiot that has to take a "stance" and foul up the whole works.
Hey, this whole thing has been overblown since the start. If players don't want to stand -- who cares? It's not like it's taking money from or otherwise hurting anybody else -- except their precious "feelings". You'll notice said players haven't demanded others take a knee. So who is anybody else to tell them how to act when their First Amendment rights of "freedom of expression" clearly grant them the right to protest in such a manner? This has been top to bottom dumb since that former San Fran QB took a knee in the first place. Did I mention -- why would any sane person care? If you don't like it, by all means feel free to boycott the NFL. That is your right as well, but shut up. Don't those howling the loudest have anything better to concern themselves with? If not, three words. Get a life.
And just when you think it can't possibly get any dumber ---
Enter the tried and true folks at the Accuweather Service.
They have fearlessly predicted the northern parts of the USA will get colder as Christmas and the New Year approach.
Well dang, bet you'd have never thought of that.
Please.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)