Actually, if you've ever seen the move, Josey Wales was a peaceful, law-abiding citizen until he got screwed over by the Feds and went postal. Sound familiar? But that was just a movie. Make-believe stuff.
On the other hand, Peter King, Sports Illustrated's pro football "guru", is very real, and recently said he counts the Detroit Lions amongst his surprise picks to contend for the Super Bowl. I'll go along with that.
If they get to the Super Bowl, let alone win it, not only would I be surprised, I'd be amazed, incredulous, dumbfounded, and thunderstruck. What comes after thunderstruck? I dunno, but count me all in for whatever it is.
Yet I suppose anything's possible.
The Klingons could invade Planet Earth tomorrow.
Jesse Jackson could present the Grand Imperial Wizard of the KKK with a lifetime achievement award.
Rush and Hiillary could go skinny-dipping together.
Jim Leyland could host Saturday Night Live.
Tiger Woods could play a golf tournament and be completely ignored by the media.
I could get a million pageviews on this blog post.
All theoretically possible -- but I wouldn't bet on it.
As for PK of SI? I've been a longtime subscriber of that mag, and have checked out his picks over the years. For some reason, every time I look at the results, I think of Matt Millen. Let's just say that while he may be highly respected by some people for his so-called expertise -- I'm not one of them.
PK's got a sweet gig at SI and I think he should stay there. If he'd wanted to make big bucks, he could have tried his hand at being a REAL handicapper in Vegas. Thing is, the wise-guys seem to have this pesky little policy whereby you're supposed to get a lot more right than you get wrong. Given what I've seen of King's picks over the years, he might have been sleeping with the fishes by now.
Like Josey once said -- "A man's got to know his limitations."
It appears Peter King has figured that out.
Too bad the overkoolaided local media can't seem to come to grips with the same thing regarding the Lions.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Speaking of drugs. 2
We've had it backwards all along. While the politicians were/are trying to hold athletes such as Bonds, Clemens, McGwire, Palmeiro, Sosa, etc feet to the fire about steroids and the like -- it's all been bass-ackwards.
If anybody needs performance enhancing drugs -- it's THE POLITICIANS.
The thought here is they need some injections. How about starting off with massive doses of human growth hormone to make them start acting like adults rather than spoiled children?
Exceptions would have to be made -- of course. No testosterome for Sarah Palin. That could get scary.
And Boehner gets an exemption. I don't know what he may have got into once upon a time, but I think it's a safe bet to say you don't turn orange because you smoked too much weed. Whatever it was, he's had enough.
Halcyon is a potent drug. It's a little bitty pilll that puts one into a state of "conscious sedation". You're walking and talking, but basically you don't have a clue what's going on, and have no remembrance of it later (kinda like writing this blog). On doctor's orders I took a couple of those before an oral surgery a while back. They work -- or so I was told by a lady friend that was nice enough to drive me to and from the office.
Give those to the talking heads on the 4-letter network. Wonder if we'd be able to tell the difference?
The scariest thought of them all?
Caputo on speed.
If anybody needs performance enhancing drugs -- it's THE POLITICIANS.
The thought here is they need some injections. How about starting off with massive doses of human growth hormone to make them start acting like adults rather than spoiled children?
Exceptions would have to be made -- of course. No testosterome for Sarah Palin. That could get scary.
And Boehner gets an exemption. I don't know what he may have got into once upon a time, but I think it's a safe bet to say you don't turn orange because you smoked too much weed. Whatever it was, he's had enough.
Halcyon is a potent drug. It's a little bitty pilll that puts one into a state of "conscious sedation". You're walking and talking, but basically you don't have a clue what's going on, and have no remembrance of it later (kinda like writing this blog). On doctor's orders I took a couple of those before an oral surgery a while back. They work -- or so I was told by a lady friend that was nice enough to drive me to and from the office.
Give those to the talking heads on the 4-letter network. Wonder if we'd be able to tell the difference?
The scariest thought of them all?
Caputo on speed.
Speaking of drugs. 1
I'm thinking maybe a few local media folks need to start "dropping", (being urine tested for illegal substances in their bodies).
Now far be it from me to get snooty over drug use, because back in college I did a little "esperimenting". But that was a long time ago, and that stuff wore off -- I think.
Beats me what sorts of mind-altering drugs are available on the streets these days, but it appears a few reporters have tapped into it.
Why do I say that?
Because they're mentioning the Detroit Lions and the word "formidable" in the same sentence.
Whatever it is they're taking has just GOT to be illegal. And if it isn't -- it damn sure ought to be.
Now far be it from me to get snooty over drug use, because back in college I did a little "esperimenting". But that was a long time ago, and that stuff wore off -- I think.
Beats me what sorts of mind-altering drugs are available on the streets these days, but it appears a few reporters have tapped into it.
Why do I say that?
Because they're mentioning the Detroit Lions and the word "formidable" in the same sentence.
Whatever it is they're taking has just GOT to be illegal. And if it isn't -- it damn sure ought to be.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Jahvid the Nutt
So Jahvid Best, a running back for the Detroit Lions, supposedly couldn't get into the players' parking lot because he forgot his code? That's funny.
The apologists are quick to point out that it's been a long time since he needed it. Hogwash.
I highly doubt this is some 15 or 20 digit number like a Swiss bank account. If it was, NONE of the players would be able to get in. Chances are, it's more like a 4-digit PIN for an ATM. Bet Jahvid doesn't forget THAT one.
The coaches expect this guy to memorize a couple hundred page playbook, and he can't remember how to get into the parking lot?
I take it back. That's not funny.
That's hilarious.
Only the Lions could have a story like this.
The apologists are quick to point out that it's been a long time since he needed it. Hogwash.
I highly doubt this is some 15 or 20 digit number like a Swiss bank account. If it was, NONE of the players would be able to get in. Chances are, it's more like a 4-digit PIN for an ATM. Bet Jahvid doesn't forget THAT one.
The coaches expect this guy to memorize a couple hundred page playbook, and he can't remember how to get into the parking lot?
I take it back. That's not funny.
That's hilarious.
Only the Lions could have a story like this.
Brandon Inge. Throw da bum out
It appears Brandon Inge's baseball career is approaching it's end. To which I say -- it's about time.
How that guy ever lasted for 10 years on the Detroit Tigers doing what he did, and raking in tens of millions of dollars, is mind-boggling. Let's count the ways.
Yep, a few years ago, he hit over 30 home runs, then signed a long-term contract for a ridiculous amount of guaranteed money. Yet he never came anywhere close to driving in 100 RBIs, and it's been diwnhill ever since.
He was a slow runner and always struck out a lot.
His career batting average is about .230. Sorry, but major-league 3rd basemen are expected to generate more offense. There's PITCHERS in the National League that hit better than that.
Detroit Tiger fans will say he was a fantastic defensive player with his glove and arm. Really? He never won a "Gold Glove", so evidently others were better than he was. Besides, Inge is the guy Tiger fans saw on TV everyday. What they don't seem to realize is all the other major league 3rd basemen were making the same plays, but they seldom saw them. And those guys could hit.
A few years ago, the Tigers made Inge a catcher, which was his original position, BTW. He hated it, and whined, whimpered and cried his way back into playing 3rd base. I thought it was incredible that he was still in the major leagues at all, yet the club gave in and let him have his way. I began to wonder if maybe Inge had a video of the manager or somebody in the front office doing something they shouldn't have been doing.
A fan favorite? That was likely due to the fact Inge appointed himself as a spokesman to the press. He always had something to say, while the good players quietly went about their business. Hell, these days, a lizard, a duck, cavemen, and osme goofy lady selling insurance out of shoeboxes at a sanitarium are spokespeople. Maybe the Tigers should sign them too. If they went up to the plate and swung hard 3 times, they probably hit as good as Inge. For that matter, Ronald McDonald was a fan favorite as well, at Mickey D's, and they sure as hell draw a lot more people every year than the Tigers. That didn't mean he could hit, though. Inge is like Santa Claus. He has maybe one good day a year when he shines, but other than that, what good s he?
Mercifully, Brandon's back in the minor leagues. Yet he's still guaranteed almost $12 million bucks over the next 2 years. That's crazy.
Here's what I know. I don't want to hear any more whining coming out of Inge. To put that in perspective, 6 million bucks a year comes to a little over $16,000 a day -- EVERT DAY -- 365. For that kind of money, I'd go play Tee-Ball with the Taliban. I'd only have to last a couple months, and I'm good for life. I might even consider asking my ex-wife out to a fancy dinner for old times sake. Hmmm. Nah, probably not. They'd have to pay me A-Rod money for that.
About 70 years ago, Lou Gehrig, after having been stricken with ALS, made his famous speech at Yankee Stadium saying he was, "the luckiest man alive". It was a tear-jerker.
These days, that dubious honor may have passed to one Brandon Inge, for vastly different reasons.
I don't see anybody crying about this.
And why is it every time I see his mug I think of an old VW beetle with the doors open? I dunno, but back in the day they had flowers on them -- not tats. Most of them stunk too, but again, for different reasons.
Must have been the incense. Right.
How that guy ever lasted for 10 years on the Detroit Tigers doing what he did, and raking in tens of millions of dollars, is mind-boggling. Let's count the ways.
Yep, a few years ago, he hit over 30 home runs, then signed a long-term contract for a ridiculous amount of guaranteed money. Yet he never came anywhere close to driving in 100 RBIs, and it's been diwnhill ever since.
He was a slow runner and always struck out a lot.
His career batting average is about .230. Sorry, but major-league 3rd basemen are expected to generate more offense. There's PITCHERS in the National League that hit better than that.
Detroit Tiger fans will say he was a fantastic defensive player with his glove and arm. Really? He never won a "Gold Glove", so evidently others were better than he was. Besides, Inge is the guy Tiger fans saw on TV everyday. What they don't seem to realize is all the other major league 3rd basemen were making the same plays, but they seldom saw them. And those guys could hit.
A few years ago, the Tigers made Inge a catcher, which was his original position, BTW. He hated it, and whined, whimpered and cried his way back into playing 3rd base. I thought it was incredible that he was still in the major leagues at all, yet the club gave in and let him have his way. I began to wonder if maybe Inge had a video of the manager or somebody in the front office doing something they shouldn't have been doing.
A fan favorite? That was likely due to the fact Inge appointed himself as a spokesman to the press. He always had something to say, while the good players quietly went about their business. Hell, these days, a lizard, a duck, cavemen, and osme goofy lady selling insurance out of shoeboxes at a sanitarium are spokespeople. Maybe the Tigers should sign them too. If they went up to the plate and swung hard 3 times, they probably hit as good as Inge. For that matter, Ronald McDonald was a fan favorite as well, at Mickey D's, and they sure as hell draw a lot more people every year than the Tigers. That didn't mean he could hit, though. Inge is like Santa Claus. He has maybe one good day a year when he shines, but other than that, what good s he?
Mercifully, Brandon's back in the minor leagues. Yet he's still guaranteed almost $12 million bucks over the next 2 years. That's crazy.
Here's what I know. I don't want to hear any more whining coming out of Inge. To put that in perspective, 6 million bucks a year comes to a little over $16,000 a day -- EVERT DAY -- 365. For that kind of money, I'd go play Tee-Ball with the Taliban. I'd only have to last a couple months, and I'm good for life. I might even consider asking my ex-wife out to a fancy dinner for old times sake. Hmmm. Nah, probably not. They'd have to pay me A-Rod money for that.
About 70 years ago, Lou Gehrig, after having been stricken with ALS, made his famous speech at Yankee Stadium saying he was, "the luckiest man alive". It was a tear-jerker.
These days, that dubious honor may have passed to one Brandon Inge, for vastly different reasons.
I don't see anybody crying about this.
And why is it every time I see his mug I think of an old VW beetle with the doors open? I dunno, but back in the day they had flowers on them -- not tats. Most of them stunk too, but again, for different reasons.
Must have been the incense. Right.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
The NFL
The owners and players reached a new collective bargaining agreement. After 4 months of constant newsprint, on-line chatter, godzillatera bytes from talking heads, decertification, lokouts, law suits, lawyers, judges, and "anonymous" sources -- it's finally done.
This should come as a surprise to nobody. You name the union and/or the company come contract time, and they'll screw around for weeks or months trying to score PR points, while accomplishing nothing.
Then magically, just before their carriage is due to turn into a pumpkin, or more realistically start taking money out of their OWN pockets -- presto -- a deal will be struck. It leaves one to wonder -- so what in the hell was all that BS for the last few months about?
It's kinda like the federal government right now. We have Obama dude playing a game of chicken with Agent Orange from Ohio. While trying to hash out another CBA of a sort, they would have us believe our country is approaching Armageddon as the clock ticks down to doomsday.
I don't believe a word of it. Like the NFL, they'll work it out because they have to. Failure is not an option, and all that crap.
It's interesting to think of the alternatives. Had the NFL folks not reached an agreement, there would be no pro football. People would be disappointed, but they'd move on to other things.
The feds going on strike? That's a joke. Cut off the paychecks and perks to everybody in Congress, everybody in the White House, the Supremes along with all the other judges, the millions of bureaucrats, and especially the IRS.
Thet'd have an agreement in 5 minutes.
This should come as a surprise to nobody. You name the union and/or the company come contract time, and they'll screw around for weeks or months trying to score PR points, while accomplishing nothing.
Then magically, just before their carriage is due to turn into a pumpkin, or more realistically start taking money out of their OWN pockets -- presto -- a deal will be struck. It leaves one to wonder -- so what in the hell was all that BS for the last few months about?
It's kinda like the federal government right now. We have Obama dude playing a game of chicken with Agent Orange from Ohio. While trying to hash out another CBA of a sort, they would have us believe our country is approaching Armageddon as the clock ticks down to doomsday.
I don't believe a word of it. Like the NFL, they'll work it out because they have to. Failure is not an option, and all that crap.
It's interesting to think of the alternatives. Had the NFL folks not reached an agreement, there would be no pro football. People would be disappointed, but they'd move on to other things.
The feds going on strike? That's a joke. Cut off the paychecks and perks to everybody in Congress, everybody in the White House, the Supremes along with all the other judges, the millions of bureaucrats, and especially the IRS.
Thet'd have an agreement in 5 minutes.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Liking Cadel Evans in the yellow jersey
Kinda cool having an Aussie win the Tour de France. We Yanks have had our years with the likes of Armstrong and Lemond; the French and Spaniards have had their fair share of glory as well. But this is the first Aussie, and I'm happy for him and his country.
Just a hunch, but I'm thinking when Cadel gets home, one problem he WON'T have is finding some mighty fine "sheilas" to spend a little quality time with. While he'd probably pass on the boring flat stages, a whole new perspective might be gained about going up and down mountains. Time trials could get interesting too. Nothing like staying in shape, right?
AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE!!!
Or was that Joe Hachem, that won the World Series of Poker a while back? No matter. Bet he did OK too.
I can do without the crocs, but wish they'd export their variety of football over here.
Now THAT'S a man's game.
Just a hunch, but I'm thinking when Cadel gets home, one problem he WON'T have is finding some mighty fine "sheilas" to spend a little quality time with. While he'd probably pass on the boring flat stages, a whole new perspective might be gained about going up and down mountains. Time trials could get interesting too. Nothing like staying in shape, right?
AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE!!!
Or was that Joe Hachem, that won the World Series of Poker a while back? No matter. Bet he did OK too.
I can do without the crocs, but wish they'd export their variety of football over here.
Now THAT'S a man's game.
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