Shortly after the World Champion Cardinals enjoyed their parade to celebrate the title, LaRussa called a press conference to announce his retirement. And why not?
He's been in major league baseball for 33 years and after his Cardinals pulled off an improbable, almost magical, comeback in Game 6 of the WS this year, then went on to claim the title at home in Game 7, what else is there really left for him to do?
LaRussa's certainly financially set for life and a plaque in the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown awaits him as soon as he's eligible. Besides, he's not the first to do this.
Al MacGuire led Marquette to the NCAA hoops title in 1977, ultimately defeating mighty North Carolina in the finals. Still at a relatively young age, MacGuire called it quits -- at least as a coach.
John Elway hung up his cleats after winning his second straight Super Bowl.
Bill Russell of Boston fame called it a career after yet another Celtics' title in 1969.
Jerome Bettis of the Pittsburgh Steelers stepped down after winning a Super Bowl in his hometown of Detroit. If that's not a perfect ending -- it's pretty close.
Opinions may vary, but LaRussa will likely be considered as among the Top 5 baseball managers of all time. Only the legendary Connie Mack and John MacGraw had more career victories. (At that, LaRussa was only about 30 Ws behind MacGraw for second place and would have easily overtaken him had he hung around another year.) This is some very impressive company.
What better way to "go out" than with a championship?
Like him or not, hats off to Tony LaRussa for a long and distinguished career. Bravo.
Bill Parcells, of football fame, chimed in about LaRussa's retirement. He said, "I'm not a baseball guy, but there comes a time when we all have to get off the train".
No doubt about it.
Even a Tuna knows that.
Wish somebody would tell certain politicians, judges, and doctors, though.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Ndamukong Suh. Dirty player?
That depends on who's doing the talking. Hard-core Detroit Lions' fans think he's merely aggressive, a good thing for a defensive lineman. Problem is -- the rest of the country seems to disagree. The talking heads have been all over it. Sports columnists not associated with the Detroit area have ripped him. The NFL has fined him repeatedly. One would be hard-pressed to argue Suh isn't on a lot of people's radar screens, and not in a good way.
This is not to single out Suh. Dick Butkus was a wrecking machine for the Bears. Chicago loved him. Everybody else hated him. Recently, James Harrison of the Steelers grabbed a lot of notoriety. "Terrible towels" waved their support in Pittsburgh. No one else seemed to be amused. There's been lots of others over the years. Normally, home town fans will stand behind their players, even if it means putting on the blinders to the obvious. Others that are more objective might see things in a completely different way.
Now Suh has requested an audience with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to, supposedly, get a better understanding of the rules. This is a bad omen -- possibly on a few fronts.
First, it's brought even more national attention to him. Second, he's tacitly admitting there's a problem. Third, he'll likely be in a room with people a whole lot smarter than he is, if and when this meeting ever happens. Fourth, if he wanted to get off the collective radar screen, going to NY to meet with the brain-trust of the NFL is not the way to do it.
How would this meeting be interpreted? These days perception has a nasty habit of becoming reality. On one hand, Suh could be perceived as being genuinely concerned about the finer points of playing his position. Yet on the other, he might come off as being the only player that doesn't seem to understand the rules. Who knows? I would humbly suggest all he needs do is follow a few simple commandments to make the problem go away.
Thou shalt not pick up an opposing quarterback, turn him upside down, and deposit him on his head.
Thou shalt not grab the facemask of an opposing player and try to wring his neck like a chicken.
Thou shalt not make helmet-to helmet contact with the above mentioned QB. Especially from the "blind" side.
When said QB has already thrown the ball, thou shalt put on the brakes. Unavoidable contact is allowed. Attempting to make the QB forever part of mother earth is not acceptable.
Thou has been blessed with the ability to find thy way around 325 pound offensive linemen. Thou shalt use the same ability to avoid all other opponents, especially ball-carriers, after the whistle has blown.
Here's wishing Ndamukong the best of luck with his meeting in NY, and hopefully it all works out to everyone's satisfaction.
So is he a dirty player or just misunderstood with good intentions?
I dunno. Johnny Cash probably said it best.
Life can be rough for a boy named Suh.
This is not to single out Suh. Dick Butkus was a wrecking machine for the Bears. Chicago loved him. Everybody else hated him. Recently, James Harrison of the Steelers grabbed a lot of notoriety. "Terrible towels" waved their support in Pittsburgh. No one else seemed to be amused. There's been lots of others over the years. Normally, home town fans will stand behind their players, even if it means putting on the blinders to the obvious. Others that are more objective might see things in a completely different way.
Now Suh has requested an audience with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to, supposedly, get a better understanding of the rules. This is a bad omen -- possibly on a few fronts.
First, it's brought even more national attention to him. Second, he's tacitly admitting there's a problem. Third, he'll likely be in a room with people a whole lot smarter than he is, if and when this meeting ever happens. Fourth, if he wanted to get off the collective radar screen, going to NY to meet with the brain-trust of the NFL is not the way to do it.
How would this meeting be interpreted? These days perception has a nasty habit of becoming reality. On one hand, Suh could be perceived as being genuinely concerned about the finer points of playing his position. Yet on the other, he might come off as being the only player that doesn't seem to understand the rules. Who knows? I would humbly suggest all he needs do is follow a few simple commandments to make the problem go away.
Thou shalt not pick up an opposing quarterback, turn him upside down, and deposit him on his head.
Thou shalt not grab the facemask of an opposing player and try to wring his neck like a chicken.
Thou shalt not make helmet-to helmet contact with the above mentioned QB. Especially from the "blind" side.
When said QB has already thrown the ball, thou shalt put on the brakes. Unavoidable contact is allowed. Attempting to make the QB forever part of mother earth is not acceptable.
Thou has been blessed with the ability to find thy way around 325 pound offensive linemen. Thou shalt use the same ability to avoid all other opponents, especially ball-carriers, after the whistle has blown.
Here's wishing Ndamukong the best of luck with his meeting in NY, and hopefully it all works out to everyone's satisfaction.
So is he a dirty player or just misunderstood with good intentions?
I dunno. Johnny Cash probably said it best.
Life can be rough for a boy named Suh.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Nolan Ryan. The down side of a great World Series
Like them or not, hats off to the Cardinals, 2011 World Series champions. Perhaps it was pre-ordained. Remember Game 6 when they were one strike away from being eliminated on a few occasions, but kept clawing back over and over, to finally prevail. One of the announcers uttered a great line. "They.... just.... won't.... go.... away". Now St. Louis is planning a parade, and good for them.
But what of the other side -- specifically Nolan Ryan? As President and CEO of the Texas Rangers, he sat in a box seat and a championship was oh so close for his team. He could smell it, taste it, almost reach out and touch it -- but for the 2nd year in a row -- in the end -- he couldn't have it. It was snatched away -- again.
Even if you don't like all things Texas for whatever reason, there's just.... no... way... Ryan can be considered anything other than a class act.
Consider his playing career. 27 years. 7 no-hitters. 12 one-hitters. The only player to have his number retired by 3 teams, not counting Jackie Robinson, which was a league-wide mandate and for obviously different reasons. 5714 strike-outs, a record that will stand forever. All time win-loss record? 324-292. On the face of it, a .526 career winning percentage might not be that impressive, but remember 2 things -- that's 616 decisions. A modern day starting pitcher might get 35 starts a season. Assuming he stayed healthy throughout -- no small feat -- It would take him 18 years, to even start that many games, let alone get a decision in all of them. That's not going to ever happen again either.
The other thing is Ryan had the misfortune of being on not so good teams. Between the Mets, Angels, Astros, and Rangers, when he was there, he got very little run support, yet he never complained. He just went out and played good old fashioned country hard-ball. Oddly enough, he never won a Cy Young award, and got nowhere near being a World Series champion.
In his short 3-year tenure as Prez of the Texas Rangers, that club has gone from nobodys, to getting to the big dance last year, to being one pitch away from a lot of champagne and a parade this year. Is it all his doing? Probably not. Texans would likely be the first people to say "ya gotta have the horses". Still, Ranger players have been quoted as saying Ryan is the heart and soul of their team. They believe in him and vice versa.
Ryan's been a upstanding righteous guy for a very long time. No crashing cars, running around with bimbos, nightclub incidents, guns, DUIs, steroids, etc. You name something bad, and he hasn't done it.
So congrats to the Cardinals. They earned it and are worthy champions.
But I still want to see Nolan Ryan get a "ring" some year soon -- even if he's not a player anymore.
He's earned it too.
But what of the other side -- specifically Nolan Ryan? As President and CEO of the Texas Rangers, he sat in a box seat and a championship was oh so close for his team. He could smell it, taste it, almost reach out and touch it -- but for the 2nd year in a row -- in the end -- he couldn't have it. It was snatched away -- again.
Even if you don't like all things Texas for whatever reason, there's just.... no... way... Ryan can be considered anything other than a class act.
Consider his playing career. 27 years. 7 no-hitters. 12 one-hitters. The only player to have his number retired by 3 teams, not counting Jackie Robinson, which was a league-wide mandate and for obviously different reasons. 5714 strike-outs, a record that will stand forever. All time win-loss record? 324-292. On the face of it, a .526 career winning percentage might not be that impressive, but remember 2 things -- that's 616 decisions. A modern day starting pitcher might get 35 starts a season. Assuming he stayed healthy throughout -- no small feat -- It would take him 18 years, to even start that many games, let alone get a decision in all of them. That's not going to ever happen again either.
The other thing is Ryan had the misfortune of being on not so good teams. Between the Mets, Angels, Astros, and Rangers, when he was there, he got very little run support, yet he never complained. He just went out and played good old fashioned country hard-ball. Oddly enough, he never won a Cy Young award, and got nowhere near being a World Series champion.
In his short 3-year tenure as Prez of the Texas Rangers, that club has gone from nobodys, to getting to the big dance last year, to being one pitch away from a lot of champagne and a parade this year. Is it all his doing? Probably not. Texans would likely be the first people to say "ya gotta have the horses". Still, Ranger players have been quoted as saying Ryan is the heart and soul of their team. They believe in him and vice versa.
Ryan's been a upstanding righteous guy for a very long time. No crashing cars, running around with bimbos, nightclub incidents, guns, DUIs, steroids, etc. You name something bad, and he hasn't done it.
So congrats to the Cardinals. They earned it and are worthy champions.
But I still want to see Nolan Ryan get a "ring" some year soon -- even if he's not a player anymore.
He's earned it too.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Best World Series ever? Maybe
People out west finally caught a break. It seems like forever that all major televised sporting events have been slaves of the "eastern time zone". While fans in Detroit, Boston, Philly, NY, etc, got together at the local pub to watch a football game starting at 1 PM, those that lived on the west coast would have to show up at 10 AM at a sports bar to watch the same game. That might be a little early for some folks to pop that first brewski. Perhaps, at long last, they got some measure of redemption last night.
Game 6 of the World Series, between the Rangers and the Cardinals, might be the most entertaining game in the Fall Classic I've ever watched -- and that's going back a few decades. The Rangers were 2 runs ahead in the 9th inning and one strike away from being champs. Oops. The Cards tied it up. Texas scored 2 more runs in the 10th and were one strike away again. Yep. St. Louis tied it up again. On to the 11th. By this time, both teams, pulling out all the stops, had used just about every player available. Pinch hitters had come and gone and both bullpens had been used up. With all the trips to the mound and pitching changes, it made for a very long game that lasted into the wee hours.
Quick question -- when's the last time you saw a major leaguer infielder camp under a pop-up, and then drop it when it came down? It's rare, but it happened in this game. Then that same infielder, who hadn't hit a home run in a very long time, stepped up to the plate in the bottom of the 11th, and proceeded to club one well over 400 feet to straightaway centerfield -- for a walk-off victory. What's the chances of all that happening?
The point? Probably most people east of the Missisissippi couldn't stay up late enough to actually watch this classic play out. The people out west could, though, and good for them.
This is the best World Series I've ever seen, and I can't wait to see how it plays out in the finale. It should be quite a spectacle. Starting pitchers that haven't had their proper "rest"? Forget about it. They'll be ready as relievers, maybe even position players. Bullpens used up? Too bad. Tough it out. Line-ups being juggled around? Highly likely. If the hitters prevail and start lighting up the scoreboard, we might see position players taking the mound to try and get an out or 2. Who knows? A one game shoot out with no holds barred. Exactly the way it SHOULD be.
Best case scenario? A 16-17 inning game where the final score is 21-20. Every pitcher and player used. When it's over, the winners are too tired to abuse champagne in the clubhouse. Then we'd know they gave it their all. They'll have a few months to rest after Game 7, and they're certainly being paid well enough. So why not let it all hang out and see what happens?
Not that it matters, but I have no horse in this race. All I need do is consider the neighborhoods those teams call home. One produces a lot of Busch, and the other a lot of Bush. Both have had a way of upsetting my stomach over the years.
On with the show.
Urp.
Game 6 of the World Series, between the Rangers and the Cardinals, might be the most entertaining game in the Fall Classic I've ever watched -- and that's going back a few decades. The Rangers were 2 runs ahead in the 9th inning and one strike away from being champs. Oops. The Cards tied it up. Texas scored 2 more runs in the 10th and were one strike away again. Yep. St. Louis tied it up again. On to the 11th. By this time, both teams, pulling out all the stops, had used just about every player available. Pinch hitters had come and gone and both bullpens had been used up. With all the trips to the mound and pitching changes, it made for a very long game that lasted into the wee hours.
Quick question -- when's the last time you saw a major leaguer infielder camp under a pop-up, and then drop it when it came down? It's rare, but it happened in this game. Then that same infielder, who hadn't hit a home run in a very long time, stepped up to the plate in the bottom of the 11th, and proceeded to club one well over 400 feet to straightaway centerfield -- for a walk-off victory. What's the chances of all that happening?
The point? Probably most people east of the Missisissippi couldn't stay up late enough to actually watch this classic play out. The people out west could, though, and good for them.
This is the best World Series I've ever seen, and I can't wait to see how it plays out in the finale. It should be quite a spectacle. Starting pitchers that haven't had their proper "rest"? Forget about it. They'll be ready as relievers, maybe even position players. Bullpens used up? Too bad. Tough it out. Line-ups being juggled around? Highly likely. If the hitters prevail and start lighting up the scoreboard, we might see position players taking the mound to try and get an out or 2. Who knows? A one game shoot out with no holds barred. Exactly the way it SHOULD be.
Best case scenario? A 16-17 inning game where the final score is 21-20. Every pitcher and player used. When it's over, the winners are too tired to abuse champagne in the clubhouse. Then we'd know they gave it their all. They'll have a few months to rest after Game 7, and they're certainly being paid well enough. So why not let it all hang out and see what happens?
Not that it matters, but I have no horse in this race. All I need do is consider the neighborhoods those teams call home. One produces a lot of Busch, and the other a lot of Bush. Both have had a way of upsetting my stomach over the years.
On with the show.
Urp.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Walled Lake hazing incident way overblown
It seems a football player at Walled Lake Western was recently "hazed" by his teammates at the home of a coach. Reports say the player was taped to a pole with his mouth taped shut and beaten with pillows. Other players have been suspended, coaches fired, the cops are involved, prosecutors are likely on-deck, and some lawyer is probably licking his/her chops. People are outraged.
So am I, but for different reasons.
A football player was ganged-up on and hit with pillows? In junior high school, I can remember some of the girls gossiping about similar things. They were called "pajama parties". I don't seem to recall anybody getting in trouble over that, much less it becoming a media spectacle.
They can make all the rules they want, but there will always be bullies. For every group of Potsies there will be a Fonzie. I suspect it's always been that way, and always will be. Trying to change that through legislation has about the same chance of succeeding as banning babies from being born redheads. At that, from my experience, bullies seldom went on to become successful as adults. Life has a way of evening things out like that.
Used to be people would drop their pants and show their butts. It was called "mooning", and everybody laughed. Now the same thing is called indecent exposure, and it's a felony that could land one in prison. If a couple teenagers wanted to swap "hickeys" on their necks, they might have been teased at school. These days they'd probably be labeled sexual deviates. Months of counseling would likely be mandated and no more contact between the two would be allowed. Is this what we've turned into?
Kids need to be allowed to be just that -- kids. They'll fall down, get bumps and bruises, chip a tooth, maybe break a bone and, yes, they'll mess up once in a while. It goes with the territory. Kids used to ring doorbells and soap windows. Those were considered pranks. Nowadays, it might be harassment/stalking and malicious destruction of property. Hello rap sheet. Gimme me a break. Better yet, give THEM a break. Growing up is tough enough. What they DON'T need is to be micro-managed by an army of strangers that have more rules and regs than the IRS tax code. They'll get enough of that when they eventually venture out into the real world. Let them enjoy their childhood, with a healthy dose of tough (parental) love when required, and it just might work out.
Today's bullying was yesterday's hazing and yesteryear's rite of passage. Sometimes the old ways are better, not to mention more effective. Don't believe that and times change, you say? Fine. Surely our founding fathers couldn't have envisioned what modern-day American society has become. Want to tear up the Constitution and start over?
So here we are. Calling all counselors, therapists, cops, prosecutors, social service workers, and lawyers. Suspend the players, fire the coaches, interrogate the parents, sue everybody you can think of, and have the whole Walled Lake school system probed from top to bottom. News at 11. And just exactly what will have been accomplished? Money might change hands, positions will be re-staffed, resumes and reputations forever tarnished, and family relations strained. Other than that -- not much.
Just a thought, but perhaps somebody somewhere can stop this particular tsunami of political correctness running rampant if they really want to.
Two words.
Lighten up.
So am I, but for different reasons.
A football player was ganged-up on and hit with pillows? In junior high school, I can remember some of the girls gossiping about similar things. They were called "pajama parties". I don't seem to recall anybody getting in trouble over that, much less it becoming a media spectacle.
They can make all the rules they want, but there will always be bullies. For every group of Potsies there will be a Fonzie. I suspect it's always been that way, and always will be. Trying to change that through legislation has about the same chance of succeeding as banning babies from being born redheads. At that, from my experience, bullies seldom went on to become successful as adults. Life has a way of evening things out like that.
Used to be people would drop their pants and show their butts. It was called "mooning", and everybody laughed. Now the same thing is called indecent exposure, and it's a felony that could land one in prison. If a couple teenagers wanted to swap "hickeys" on their necks, they might have been teased at school. These days they'd probably be labeled sexual deviates. Months of counseling would likely be mandated and no more contact between the two would be allowed. Is this what we've turned into?
Kids need to be allowed to be just that -- kids. They'll fall down, get bumps and bruises, chip a tooth, maybe break a bone and, yes, they'll mess up once in a while. It goes with the territory. Kids used to ring doorbells and soap windows. Those were considered pranks. Nowadays, it might be harassment/stalking and malicious destruction of property. Hello rap sheet. Gimme me a break. Better yet, give THEM a break. Growing up is tough enough. What they DON'T need is to be micro-managed by an army of strangers that have more rules and regs than the IRS tax code. They'll get enough of that when they eventually venture out into the real world. Let them enjoy their childhood, with a healthy dose of tough (parental) love when required, and it just might work out.
Today's bullying was yesterday's hazing and yesteryear's rite of passage. Sometimes the old ways are better, not to mention more effective. Don't believe that and times change, you say? Fine. Surely our founding fathers couldn't have envisioned what modern-day American society has become. Want to tear up the Constitution and start over?
So here we are. Calling all counselors, therapists, cops, prosecutors, social service workers, and lawyers. Suspend the players, fire the coaches, interrogate the parents, sue everybody you can think of, and have the whole Walled Lake school system probed from top to bottom. News at 11. And just exactly what will have been accomplished? Money might change hands, positions will be re-staffed, resumes and reputations forever tarnished, and family relations strained. Other than that -- not much.
Just a thought, but perhaps somebody somewhere can stop this particular tsunami of political correctness running rampant if they really want to.
Two words.
Lighten up.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
The Big 10. Leaders and Legends
These universities have a lot to offer. Besides hundreds of different fields of study, there's law schools, med schools, veterinary schools, and countless other post-graduate fields that gifted students may pursue.
So why is it that the people in charge can't seem to count to 10? The Big 10 used to be ten schools, then it went to 11, and now 12, but it's still called the Big 10. If you want to be a doctor, lawyer, or a vet, they have a school for you. Math majors might want to look elsewhere.
But who rakes in the big bucks for these academic wonderlands? Generous rich alumnni aside, it's mostly the football teams.
Once Nebraska came onboard to make it 12 teams, the powers-that-be decided to split them into 2 divisions of 6 each. One would be called the Leaders, and the other the Legends. Why these names? Good question. Then again, what else were they going to call them?
A & B? No, the B teams wouldn't like that.
1 & 2? Same thing.
Left and right? Too political.
Black and white? No way. Racial overtones.
Red and blue? Nope. Back to the political thing.
North and South? Of what? Chicago? The University of Chitown used to belong to the Big 10 but they got displaced by Northwestern, which is southeast of Minnesota and Wisconsin.
Michigan calls itself the "champions of the west" but until Penn State became #11 a while back, near as I can tell, UM sat the farthest east of any school in the conference. When you figure that one out -- please explain it to me.
Hmmm. Maybe studying geography at these places wouldn't be such a good idea either.
Nevertheless, it could be Leaders and Legends were the only names left that wouldn't cause a stir.
At that, Big 10-11-12 schools have spawned both. Dick Butkus came out of Illinois and he's certainly a legend. Chuck Long was a leader at Iowa. A legend? Probably not. Purdue was once known as an NFL quarterback factory. Penn State churned out linebackers, including Matt Millen. He's a legend in Detroit these days, though maybe not how he envisioned it. Michigan was known for QBs, offensive linemen, and receivers. Many have gone on to great success in the NFL. Michigan State featured Magic Johnson. Oops. Wrong sport. Sorry. Wait, they had some guy named Burress. I could be wrong, but isn't he the guy that managed to shoot himself in the leg at an after-hours joint with his own gun and then go to prison for felonious stupidity? Not sure about him being a leader, but I'd bet he's a legend at that club. Ohio State seemingly had highly skilled players that led their teams all over the field year after year, and their ex-head coach, one Jim Tressel, is quickly becoming a legend himself in his own way. Ahem.
That's just a few examples out of the countless people to have roamed the corridors in these institutions of higher learning.
Personally, I don't much care what they call their new "divisions". It sure would be nice if they learned how to count to 10, though. If I can get all the way up to 13 or 14, maybe they'll give me a PhD.
Doctor John. My mom would be so proud.
So why is it that the people in charge can't seem to count to 10? The Big 10 used to be ten schools, then it went to 11, and now 12, but it's still called the Big 10. If you want to be a doctor, lawyer, or a vet, they have a school for you. Math majors might want to look elsewhere.
But who rakes in the big bucks for these academic wonderlands? Generous rich alumnni aside, it's mostly the football teams.
Once Nebraska came onboard to make it 12 teams, the powers-that-be decided to split them into 2 divisions of 6 each. One would be called the Leaders, and the other the Legends. Why these names? Good question. Then again, what else were they going to call them?
A & B? No, the B teams wouldn't like that.
1 & 2? Same thing.
Left and right? Too political.
Black and white? No way. Racial overtones.
Red and blue? Nope. Back to the political thing.
North and South? Of what? Chicago? The University of Chitown used to belong to the Big 10 but they got displaced by Northwestern, which is southeast of Minnesota and Wisconsin.
Michigan calls itself the "champions of the west" but until Penn State became #11 a while back, near as I can tell, UM sat the farthest east of any school in the conference. When you figure that one out -- please explain it to me.
Hmmm. Maybe studying geography at these places wouldn't be such a good idea either.
Nevertheless, it could be Leaders and Legends were the only names left that wouldn't cause a stir.
At that, Big 10-11-12 schools have spawned both. Dick Butkus came out of Illinois and he's certainly a legend. Chuck Long was a leader at Iowa. A legend? Probably not. Purdue was once known as an NFL quarterback factory. Penn State churned out linebackers, including Matt Millen. He's a legend in Detroit these days, though maybe not how he envisioned it. Michigan was known for QBs, offensive linemen, and receivers. Many have gone on to great success in the NFL. Michigan State featured Magic Johnson. Oops. Wrong sport. Sorry. Wait, they had some guy named Burress. I could be wrong, but isn't he the guy that managed to shoot himself in the leg at an after-hours joint with his own gun and then go to prison for felonious stupidity? Not sure about him being a leader, but I'd bet he's a legend at that club. Ohio State seemingly had highly skilled players that led their teams all over the field year after year, and their ex-head coach, one Jim Tressel, is quickly becoming a legend himself in his own way. Ahem.
That's just a few examples out of the countless people to have roamed the corridors in these institutions of higher learning.
Personally, I don't much care what they call their new "divisions". It sure would be nice if they learned how to count to 10, though. If I can get all the way up to 13 or 14, maybe they'll give me a PhD.
Doctor John. My mom would be so proud.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
The Indianapolis Colts. They shoot horses, don't they?
Even though the infamous Sports Illustrated "cover jinx" has seemingly reached out yet again and zapped another victim (the Detroit Lions were 5-0 before they made the cover, and have been beat twice at home since), at least long-suffering Lions' fans finally have a decent team to cheer for.
3 years ago that team was a laughing stock and the punch line of many a joke as they stumbled and bumbled their way through an 0-16 season. Guys like Leno and Letterman routinely used them as fodder for punch lines and audiences roared with approval. Nothing could be worse than that, right?
My, how times have changed. Turns out maybe those Lions weren't the worst team ever afterall. That dubious honor might well go to this year's version of the Indianapolis Colts. They're beyond bad. They're terrible.
The Colts can't run the ball, and none of their once renowned receiver corps seems to be able to get "open".
Dwight Freeney, a former dominant pass rushing defensive end, is routinely blocked, the other D linemen and linebackers might as well be cardboard cut-outs, and their secondary appears clueless.
The Drew Brees led New Orleans Saints just went up and down the field on them in a 62-7 beatdown and it likely would have been worse if they hadn't pulled the A-team off the field as a show of mercy. It's rare that an NFL team scores over 50 points, but 60 and counting is ridiculous. Not even the 2008 Lions ever got lit up like that.
Yeah, but Peyton Manning is injured, you say? True, but Peyton never was much of a runner, and he sure as hell couldn't play defense. 62-7 sounds like a score you might expect from Enormous State University playing Northwest Creampuff A&M -- not an NFL game. Even Peyton on his best day couldn't compensate for that.
Manning suffered a serious neck injury a while back, and has since had 2 surgeries to repair it. He's likely out for the remainder of this season. That begs the question -- why would he want to come back?
His chase for Brett Favre's all-time consecutive starts as a QB is history. He's been the NFL MVP, been to the Super Bowl and won it, and was the MVP there, as well. If he never plays another game, he's a certain first-ballot Hall of Famer. Peyton has more money than he could ever possibly spend, and if that's not good enough, there's little doubt certain companies will accommodate him with added income doing more TV ads for big bucks. Some of those spots he's done before are pretty funny. Better yet, they don't involve blitzing linebackers trying to take his head off. Right now, Peyton's head sits atop a shaky foundation and a disaster could be one play away. And guess what? Opposing defenders don't care. They'll hit him as hard and as often as possible. Perhaps Plaxico Burress, now of the New York Jets, said it best. "We know what we signed up for".
Nevertheless, take heart, Lions fans. While you finally have a good team to root for, something else might be happening that could help erase another bad memory. Indy might well be on it's way to an 0-16 season themselves, so you won't be the only ones that had to go through it.
It gets better. The Colts have hired former Ohio State buckeye head coach Jim Tressel as a consultant. What's he consulting on? Tattoos? How to trash a once mighty program? That would seem to fit. Beats me -- but at least he's in Indianapolis and not Detroit. And you thought Matt Millen was bad.
Count your blessings.
3 years ago that team was a laughing stock and the punch line of many a joke as they stumbled and bumbled their way through an 0-16 season. Guys like Leno and Letterman routinely used them as fodder for punch lines and audiences roared with approval. Nothing could be worse than that, right?
My, how times have changed. Turns out maybe those Lions weren't the worst team ever afterall. That dubious honor might well go to this year's version of the Indianapolis Colts. They're beyond bad. They're terrible.
The Colts can't run the ball, and none of their once renowned receiver corps seems to be able to get "open".
Dwight Freeney, a former dominant pass rushing defensive end, is routinely blocked, the other D linemen and linebackers might as well be cardboard cut-outs, and their secondary appears clueless.
The Drew Brees led New Orleans Saints just went up and down the field on them in a 62-7 beatdown and it likely would have been worse if they hadn't pulled the A-team off the field as a show of mercy. It's rare that an NFL team scores over 50 points, but 60 and counting is ridiculous. Not even the 2008 Lions ever got lit up like that.
Yeah, but Peyton Manning is injured, you say? True, but Peyton never was much of a runner, and he sure as hell couldn't play defense. 62-7 sounds like a score you might expect from Enormous State University playing Northwest Creampuff A&M -- not an NFL game. Even Peyton on his best day couldn't compensate for that.
Manning suffered a serious neck injury a while back, and has since had 2 surgeries to repair it. He's likely out for the remainder of this season. That begs the question -- why would he want to come back?
His chase for Brett Favre's all-time consecutive starts as a QB is history. He's been the NFL MVP, been to the Super Bowl and won it, and was the MVP there, as well. If he never plays another game, he's a certain first-ballot Hall of Famer. Peyton has more money than he could ever possibly spend, and if that's not good enough, there's little doubt certain companies will accommodate him with added income doing more TV ads for big bucks. Some of those spots he's done before are pretty funny. Better yet, they don't involve blitzing linebackers trying to take his head off. Right now, Peyton's head sits atop a shaky foundation and a disaster could be one play away. And guess what? Opposing defenders don't care. They'll hit him as hard and as often as possible. Perhaps Plaxico Burress, now of the New York Jets, said it best. "We know what we signed up for".
Nevertheless, take heart, Lions fans. While you finally have a good team to root for, something else might be happening that could help erase another bad memory. Indy might well be on it's way to an 0-16 season themselves, so you won't be the only ones that had to go through it.
It gets better. The Colts have hired former Ohio State buckeye head coach Jim Tressel as a consultant. What's he consulting on? Tattoos? How to trash a once mighty program? That would seem to fit. Beats me -- but at least he's in Indianapolis and not Detroit. And you thought Matt Millen was bad.
Count your blessings.
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