At home, Michigan State beat Wisconsin a few weeks back on a miracle "Hail Mary" play as time ran out. Ironically, the same sort of thing played a large part in MSU falling to UW in the Big 10 -12, whatever, championship game, held in Indianapolis.
Yet towards the end, it looked like MSU had dialed up another miracle. On 4th down and 3 yards to go, leading by 3 points, Wisconsin had to punt the ball. The Spartan punt returner scampered all the way down to the UW 3 yard line. It appeared the Spartans were going to pull another rabbit out of the hat after all, but no. One of their guys had made contact with the punter after he'd kicked the ball. Tweet, flag, 5-yard penalty, first down for Wisconsin, run out the clock, and game over. This sort of bone-headed play falls squarely on the coaching staff. After a whole year, you'd think they'd have taught their players a couple simple rules, given this sort of situation. Do NOT jump offside. And unless you're 100% sure you can block the punt, don't even breathe on that kicker, let alone touch him. They did, they lost, and in the end, it cost them the Rose Bowl. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Speaking of dumb -- after the game was over -- confetti was released, and it was colored -- maize and blue. Who came up with that brilliant idea?
UCLA got whacked by Oregon. No surprise there. In the Pac 10-12, whatever, conference championship game, UCLA represented the South, while Oregon represented the North. But wait a minute. Sanctions or not, Southern Cal had just previously blistered UCLA to the tune of 50-0. What comes after routs, beatdowns and slaughters? If UCLA was the best the southern version of that conference had to offer, it makes one wonder -- just how bad were the rest of the teams? On top of that, they had a head coach (Rick Neuheisel) that had already been fired. Maybe it's ironic again that a lame duck, or maybe a dead duck, was playing the Ducks. What's that? RichRod just signed on at Arizona for a billion dollars and help is on the way? Not sure, but it could be that sound I hear way off in the distance is people in Ann Arbor chuckling.
What could be better than Okla State beating Okla 44-10? Beating them 1000 to nothing. In years past, the Sooners had no qualms about running up the score when they were clearly a dominant team facing an inferior opponent. It's about time they got a dose of their own medicine.
Same with Texas. Glad to see Baylor shut them up. And what is it with Texas anyway? They always seem to have guys named Mack, or Tex, or Colt, or Case, or Troy, running things. Macho stuff. There could be some high school phenom named Jody that broke every prep record there ever was, and I'll guarantee you Texas wouldn't be interested in recruiting him.
The previously unbeaten Boise State like Houston Cougars (strength of schedule) got hammered in their own backyard by Southern Missouri in the Conference USA championship game. Evidently, had Houston won, they would have went to a BCS bowl and generated some $13 million dollars to be split amongst the other conference teams. Some sideline female TV reporter, complete with microphone, cameraperson, and enough makeup to make Joan Rivers blush, couldn't wait to ask the question of the victorious S. Mizzou head coach after the game......
Do you realize you just cost the conference $13 million by winning this game?
Which make yours truly wonder--- who hires these people? Jerry Springer?
The BCS championship game next time. LSU for sure, and probably Alabama in a rematch. But there's another way of going about this that just might make more sense......
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Jim Boeheim apologizes. Bad move
Unlike the Penn State affair, Syracuse head basketball coach Jim Boeheim isn't even on the radar as far as any possible wrongdoing. If reports are accurate, JB had no knowledge of any alleged, repeat ALLEGED sexual misconduct by his former assistant Bernie Fine.
No, it seems JB's crime against humanity was sticking up for a friend. Now I don't know about you, but if a friend of mine committed an atrocious crime, say, rape, murder, or heaven forbid, child molesting, upon being convicted of same, I would want and expect that person to be severely punished for his/her actions.
But would they still be my friend? Of course. That wouldn't go away. A true friend won't pretend he/she never knew you, much less "throw you under the bus", just because it's politically, socially, or economically expedient to do so, especially under the hot glare the media can shine on occasion. He/she may have done something awful, but they're still my friend, dammit. According to Boeheim, Fine was a friend of his for 50 years. That's a long time.
In my opinion, it's also where Boeheim made a tactical error. Now he's apologizing for whatever he said while initially sticking up for his friend. He's so sorry for any remarks that may have offended anyone. That's not only lame, but a bad move.
Boeheim's been coaching Syracuse for what -- 36 years? Not that it should matter, but it's likely he has many millions in the bank somewhere, so possible financial hardship certainly doesn't enter in. And unless Coach K of Duke steps down anytime soon, also unlikely, Boeheim will never catch his record for all-time wins, Coach Pat of the Lady Vols notwithstanding. In other words, his job shouldn't be a major concern.
The bad move is wimping out and apologizing in the first place when he didn't do anything more wrong than stand by a friend in time of need. These days, with the media being the proverbial pack of wolves, taking a step back just makes matters worse. They sense weakness, even more wolves show up smelling blood, and begin to circle for the kill.
Better to take one's chances holding their ground and staring the original wolves down. Maybe it works and maybe it doesn't, but the alternative is being chased through the woods and eventually having one's carcass picked clean, because they don't care. After all, it's just their nature as wolves.
Even if one does something terrible, it should be decided in a court of law after all the evidence has been presented, and the jury has rendered it verdict. Not amongst the mentality of a pack of hungry wolves.
And a true friend? They would have stood by you in the woods, with all those teeth and eyes (microphones and cameras) staring at you, let alone a court of law.
In the end, Jimbo wimped out after 50 years.
That's not orange. That's yellow.
No, it seems JB's crime against humanity was sticking up for a friend. Now I don't know about you, but if a friend of mine committed an atrocious crime, say, rape, murder, or heaven forbid, child molesting, upon being convicted of same, I would want and expect that person to be severely punished for his/her actions.
But would they still be my friend? Of course. That wouldn't go away. A true friend won't pretend he/she never knew you, much less "throw you under the bus", just because it's politically, socially, or economically expedient to do so, especially under the hot glare the media can shine on occasion. He/she may have done something awful, but they're still my friend, dammit. According to Boeheim, Fine was a friend of his for 50 years. That's a long time.
In my opinion, it's also where Boeheim made a tactical error. Now he's apologizing for whatever he said while initially sticking up for his friend. He's so sorry for any remarks that may have offended anyone. That's not only lame, but a bad move.
Boeheim's been coaching Syracuse for what -- 36 years? Not that it should matter, but it's likely he has many millions in the bank somewhere, so possible financial hardship certainly doesn't enter in. And unless Coach K of Duke steps down anytime soon, also unlikely, Boeheim will never catch his record for all-time wins, Coach Pat of the Lady Vols notwithstanding. In other words, his job shouldn't be a major concern.
The bad move is wimping out and apologizing in the first place when he didn't do anything more wrong than stand by a friend in time of need. These days, with the media being the proverbial pack of wolves, taking a step back just makes matters worse. They sense weakness, even more wolves show up smelling blood, and begin to circle for the kill.
Better to take one's chances holding their ground and staring the original wolves down. Maybe it works and maybe it doesn't, but the alternative is being chased through the woods and eventually having one's carcass picked clean, because they don't care. After all, it's just their nature as wolves.
Even if one does something terrible, it should be decided in a court of law after all the evidence has been presented, and the jury has rendered it verdict. Not amongst the mentality of a pack of hungry wolves.
And a true friend? They would have stood by you in the woods, with all those teeth and eyes (microphones and cameras) staring at you, let alone a court of law.
In the end, Jimbo wimped out after 50 years.
That's not orange. That's yellow.
Friday, December 2, 2011
The Saints come marching in
Jokes were made by Detroit Lions' followers about Tim Tebow, the QB of the Denver Broncos, and a deeply religious man, about how Christians fared against the lions, obviously referring to the events that unfolded during the days of the Roman empire in the Colosseum. "Sometimes the Christians win, but so far -- not yet". Yuk yuk yuk. Indeed, the Lions trounced the Broncos.
Now those same Lions will face the New Orleans Saints on their own hallowed ground. Near as I can tell, for those same people that pushed the above religious angle -- a Christian has to do something pretty special during the course of their life to become a saint. Normally, after much consideration, that honor is only bestowed on people that have been dead for a long time.
Thing is, these Saints are very much alive. They certainly slew Eli and the Giants last Monday night. Suh or no Suh, the NY Giants have every bit, if not more, as much talent and ferociousness on their defensive line as the Lions. They may as well have been lambs. The Giants also have a pretty decent defensive secondary. Drew Brees lit them up for 360+ yards and 49 points. The Lions' secondary has never been considered a strength, and what marginal talent they had has been depleted by injuries. They got so desperate, they had a back-up wide receiver playing cornerback in the latter stages of the Green Bay Thanksgiving game.
Let's face it. Blessed with a relatively easy schedule, with the exception of the Chicago Bears Monday night game at Ford Field, the Lions have defeated the weaker teams and been bounced by the good ones -- notably at home. Yet, from head coach Jim Schwartz on down, they have "swagger", people say.
Yours truly thinks when head coach Sean Payton, Brees, and the rest of the Saints get done with the Lions, it will be more like "stagger". Brees is already on a pace to break Dan Marino's all-time record for passing yards in a single season, and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he puts up 400+ against Detroit. How are they going to stop it?
And maybe, just maybe, after a couple milennia, it's time for the Christians, especially those canonized, to exact a large measure of revenge on the lions for the abuses suffered long ago. It started in the Colosseum, and will finally go full circle to the Superdome.
A group of lions is called a "pride". Yet whoever heard of lions whining to zebras? This bunch does. Can't see much pride in that.
This might get very ugly for the Lions, at least on the scoreboard.
Christians win. Big time.
Now those same Lions will face the New Orleans Saints on their own hallowed ground. Near as I can tell, for those same people that pushed the above religious angle -- a Christian has to do something pretty special during the course of their life to become a saint. Normally, after much consideration, that honor is only bestowed on people that have been dead for a long time.
Thing is, these Saints are very much alive. They certainly slew Eli and the Giants last Monday night. Suh or no Suh, the NY Giants have every bit, if not more, as much talent and ferociousness on their defensive line as the Lions. They may as well have been lambs. The Giants also have a pretty decent defensive secondary. Drew Brees lit them up for 360+ yards and 49 points. The Lions' secondary has never been considered a strength, and what marginal talent they had has been depleted by injuries. They got so desperate, they had a back-up wide receiver playing cornerback in the latter stages of the Green Bay Thanksgiving game.
Let's face it. Blessed with a relatively easy schedule, with the exception of the Chicago Bears Monday night game at Ford Field, the Lions have defeated the weaker teams and been bounced by the good ones -- notably at home. Yet, from head coach Jim Schwartz on down, they have "swagger", people say.
Yours truly thinks when head coach Sean Payton, Brees, and the rest of the Saints get done with the Lions, it will be more like "stagger". Brees is already on a pace to break Dan Marino's all-time record for passing yards in a single season, and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he puts up 400+ against Detroit. How are they going to stop it?
And maybe, just maybe, after a couple milennia, it's time for the Christians, especially those canonized, to exact a large measure of revenge on the lions for the abuses suffered long ago. It started in the Colosseum, and will finally go full circle to the Superdome.
A group of lions is called a "pride". Yet whoever heard of lions whining to zebras? This bunch does. Can't see much pride in that.
This might get very ugly for the Lions, at least on the scoreboard.
Christians win. Big time.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
The King is back
Humbly bow and submit, you pitiful little heathens. Thou shalt obey, praise, suck up, kiss-ass, and donate money to the cause. His Royal Highness is back.
No, it's not an Edward, George, James, or Henry from England. Not a Louis from France nor a Ferdinand from Spain -- or was that Portugal? Russia? Peter was called "the great" and the Nicholases were tsars, but I never heard of a "king".
Michael Jackson? Nope. Pretty sure he won't be coming back.
The King -- Elvis? Nah, he left the building on a one way trip a long time ago.
Not even the mighty King Kong himself, Fay Wray in one hand and a Kardashian in the other, scaling the Empire State building one more time would cause this kind of stir.
Has the biblically predicted "Second Coming" occurred?
Close. Tiger Woods has decided to play a golf tournament. Never mind that he's not in the top 50 golfers in the world anymore, and the tourney hasn't even started yet -- the hype has begun. Call the press conferences, give the talking heads an extra dose of amphetamines, and pass the offering plates -- or at least go buy something he endorses. Pass out the campaign buttons and bumper stickers. Put signs in your front yard, distribute a billion fliers, set up the robo-call network, and let the chain letters (if you don't forward this to at least 10 people, you will suffer eternal damnation) begin.
The KING is back. Millions will be delirious with joy, drop to their knees for prayers of thanks, and begin worshipping anew.
Me? I'm thinking Anti Christ. Good looking, well spoken, and while seemingly doing whatever he wants, much of which would get "normal" people in serious trouble, the mere mention of his name makes his popularity soar, even though the only thing he was ever good at was hitting a golf ball -- and he's not even good at THAT anymore. Yet, there's something about this guy that draws adoring fans like an electromagnet draws iron.
Beats me what it is, but I want no part of it. Never did, from his beginning, to when he was winning everything, to now.
Worship if you will, but this not royalty, by any means.
Perhaps a court jester -- but certainly no King.
No, it's not an Edward, George, James, or Henry from England. Not a Louis from France nor a Ferdinand from Spain -- or was that Portugal? Russia? Peter was called "the great" and the Nicholases were tsars, but I never heard of a "king".
Michael Jackson? Nope. Pretty sure he won't be coming back.
The King -- Elvis? Nah, he left the building on a one way trip a long time ago.
Not even the mighty King Kong himself, Fay Wray in one hand and a Kardashian in the other, scaling the Empire State building one more time would cause this kind of stir.
Has the biblically predicted "Second Coming" occurred?
Close. Tiger Woods has decided to play a golf tournament. Never mind that he's not in the top 50 golfers in the world anymore, and the tourney hasn't even started yet -- the hype has begun. Call the press conferences, give the talking heads an extra dose of amphetamines, and pass the offering plates -- or at least go buy something he endorses. Pass out the campaign buttons and bumper stickers. Put signs in your front yard, distribute a billion fliers, set up the robo-call network, and let the chain letters (if you don't forward this to at least 10 people, you will suffer eternal damnation) begin.
The KING is back. Millions will be delirious with joy, drop to their knees for prayers of thanks, and begin worshipping anew.
Me? I'm thinking Anti Christ. Good looking, well spoken, and while seemingly doing whatever he wants, much of which would get "normal" people in serious trouble, the mere mention of his name makes his popularity soar, even though the only thing he was ever good at was hitting a golf ball -- and he's not even good at THAT anymore. Yet, there's something about this guy that draws adoring fans like an electromagnet draws iron.
Beats me what it is, but I want no part of it. Never did, from his beginning, to when he was winning everything, to now.
Worship if you will, but this not royalty, by any means.
Perhaps a court jester -- but certainly no King.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Suh's penalty not enough
Ndahmukong Suh of the Detroit Lions was just suspended for 2 games due to his actions against a Green Bay player on Thanksgiving. Eveybody's seen the replay countless times, so no need to get into the particulars of what happened.
I don't think it's nearly enough. Remember, in only a year and a half as a pro, Suh's already accumulated quite a "rap sheet" for such behavior. It's not like he's a first time offender, by any means. The word "habitual" comes to mind, and we all know, Lindsay Lohan aside, what usually happens to habitual offenders when it comes sentencing time. They get the hammer, and deservedly so. Besides, LL seems to have issues with substance abuse, while Suh seems to have a problem with attempted maimings. Quite a difference.
At that, one is left to wonder what might have happened. When he picked up a quarterback and threw him head-first to the ground, what if the guy broke his neck and died or was paralzyed? Same thing with twisting off a helmet on another guy. If that helmet had stayed intact, something in the neck had to give. That could have been an instant fatality. Would he have been punished more if either of those guys had suffered catastrophic injury, or even died? On a lesser note -- when he stomped on the Packer's arm, had the guy suffered torn ligaments or tendons, nerve damage, or any other injury that could have ended his season, if not his career -- would Suh have been suspended for more than just 2 games? Nobody knows.
You might say, you're crazy Leach. None of that happened and shoulda, woulda, coulda doesn't count. I would disagree.
If you shoot at somebody, but you miss? That's attempted murder. Attempted kidnapping, but the plot is foiled. Attempted rape, but the woman gets away. Attempted armed robbery, but you don't get any goods. What normally happens in any of those scenarios? The perp gets a lengthy prison term even though, technically, nobody got hurt. If he/she has a prior history of such behavior -- they'll go away for a very long time.
Given Suh's track record, yours truly thinks he should have been put out for the rest of the 2011-2012 season, playoffs or not. In the meantime, he can go back to New York and have another talk with Roger Goodell and/or his representatives in such matters, just to make sure he "gets it". If he came back next year and pulled another goon stunt, put him out for a full calendar year. After that, if he was even stilled wanted, and came back yet again, only to commit another act of thuggery -- then he would have proven himself incorrigible and deserving of a lifetime ban. Bye.
Certainly not in Suh's defense -- but I've never bought into the remorse thing. It never used to be that way. If you do the crime -- you do the time. Remorse is optional. When the time's up, you got out. Period. If it was an accident, you obviously didn't mean for it to happen anyway, so what's the necessity of showing remorse? Sympathy for the victim? Sure, but it was an accident. Why should the defendant have to beg for forgiveness over something they never wanted to happen anyway? It's all about apologizing and begging these days, and who one can get to believe it -- and I'll never buy into that. The powers that be want folks to "man-up" and admit their wrongdoings, but then attempt to break them down into snivelling wimps to get off a little easier -- which, in the the end, only makes it harder, and I find something horribly wrong with that picture.
Of course, in Suh's case, these are no accidents. It's deliberate. To me, whether he shows remorse or not is irrelevant, but it's about time he got introduced to the hammer.
He's appealing the 2 game suspension? On what grounds? He has a history and the tape doesn't lie. Maybe he hopes to get it reduced to one. If I was the guy in charge of deciding this, I'd say, "Upon further review, the call is reversed. The suspension will now be for the duration of the season".
See ya next year, Ndammy. Straighten up.
I don't think it's nearly enough. Remember, in only a year and a half as a pro, Suh's already accumulated quite a "rap sheet" for such behavior. It's not like he's a first time offender, by any means. The word "habitual" comes to mind, and we all know, Lindsay Lohan aside, what usually happens to habitual offenders when it comes sentencing time. They get the hammer, and deservedly so. Besides, LL seems to have issues with substance abuse, while Suh seems to have a problem with attempted maimings. Quite a difference.
At that, one is left to wonder what might have happened. When he picked up a quarterback and threw him head-first to the ground, what if the guy broke his neck and died or was paralzyed? Same thing with twisting off a helmet on another guy. If that helmet had stayed intact, something in the neck had to give. That could have been an instant fatality. Would he have been punished more if either of those guys had suffered catastrophic injury, or even died? On a lesser note -- when he stomped on the Packer's arm, had the guy suffered torn ligaments or tendons, nerve damage, or any other injury that could have ended his season, if not his career -- would Suh have been suspended for more than just 2 games? Nobody knows.
You might say, you're crazy Leach. None of that happened and shoulda, woulda, coulda doesn't count. I would disagree.
If you shoot at somebody, but you miss? That's attempted murder. Attempted kidnapping, but the plot is foiled. Attempted rape, but the woman gets away. Attempted armed robbery, but you don't get any goods. What normally happens in any of those scenarios? The perp gets a lengthy prison term even though, technically, nobody got hurt. If he/she has a prior history of such behavior -- they'll go away for a very long time.
Given Suh's track record, yours truly thinks he should have been put out for the rest of the 2011-2012 season, playoffs or not. In the meantime, he can go back to New York and have another talk with Roger Goodell and/or his representatives in such matters, just to make sure he "gets it". If he came back next year and pulled another goon stunt, put him out for a full calendar year. After that, if he was even stilled wanted, and came back yet again, only to commit another act of thuggery -- then he would have proven himself incorrigible and deserving of a lifetime ban. Bye.
Certainly not in Suh's defense -- but I've never bought into the remorse thing. It never used to be that way. If you do the crime -- you do the time. Remorse is optional. When the time's up, you got out. Period. If it was an accident, you obviously didn't mean for it to happen anyway, so what's the necessity of showing remorse? Sympathy for the victim? Sure, but it was an accident. Why should the defendant have to beg for forgiveness over something they never wanted to happen anyway? It's all about apologizing and begging these days, and who one can get to believe it -- and I'll never buy into that. The powers that be want folks to "man-up" and admit their wrongdoings, but then attempt to break them down into snivelling wimps to get off a little easier -- which, in the the end, only makes it harder, and I find something horribly wrong with that picture.
Of course, in Suh's case, these are no accidents. It's deliberate. To me, whether he shows remorse or not is irrelevant, but it's about time he got introduced to the hammer.
He's appealing the 2 game suspension? On what grounds? He has a history and the tape doesn't lie. Maybe he hopes to get it reduced to one. If I was the guy in charge of deciding this, I'd say, "Upon further review, the call is reversed. The suspension will now be for the duration of the season".
See ya next year, Ndammy. Straighten up.
Monday, November 28, 2011
The NBA. A better way
Before anything else, if you're an NBA fan, and have been following whatever news came out of the negotiations for the last couple of months -- I highly recommend you check out Phil Taylor's article on the back page of the latest issue of Sports Illustrated. Though it's fictitious -- it's really funny, especially the parts about David Stern. Bravo to PT.
That said, it appears they have at least a tentative deal in place and if both sides approve it, and the lawyers go into warp speed drafting up the fine print, it looks like we're going to have pro hoops this year after all.
Owners have been losing money and players have been losing money. Businesses, their employees, concessionaires, parking lot attendants -- you name it -- they've all been losing money. Who's been saving money? Joe and Jane fan. Regardless of the temptation, they weren't able to skip a house payment to go see a game. Hmmm. Guess there's a couple ways of looking at this.....
Unlike the NFL management/union stand-off a while back, which had the whole country in an uproar, this one pretty much flew under the radar. The masses didn't care. The media will normally go crazy shining a spotlight on Justin Bieber if he gets a zit, but they were ominously subdued about the NBA snafu. You'd think that would tell those people something.
By most accounts, a shortened season will start around Christmas. This is where the "better way" comes in.
Why not start their season about that time every year? The NBA, like the NHL, has always taken a back seat while the gorilla in the room, the NFL, is playing anyway. Instead of the NBA finishing off their season in June, why not finish it up in August every year? From June to August, barring a weekly NASCAR race, and an occasional golf or tennis tournament that's worth watching -- there's nothing going on anyway except baseball entering it's midseason "dog days" of summer. The June-August window would give the NBA prime exposure with little competition to worry about. Better yet, by the time they crowned a champ in August, the NFL would be coming on board again. Perfect.
Except for the Detroit Pistons. While my heart goes out to those that may be adversely affected -- even if the contract is approved -- do they REALLY have to play? I mean -- what's the point? They're going to get drilled like a newfound oil reservoir in Texas. What's worse is the Palace is a dry well right now. Yours truly doesn't understand why hired hands will get paid millions when they can't produce any Texas tea.
That said, it appears they have at least a tentative deal in place and if both sides approve it, and the lawyers go into warp speed drafting up the fine print, it looks like we're going to have pro hoops this year after all.
Owners have been losing money and players have been losing money. Businesses, their employees, concessionaires, parking lot attendants -- you name it -- they've all been losing money. Who's been saving money? Joe and Jane fan. Regardless of the temptation, they weren't able to skip a house payment to go see a game. Hmmm. Guess there's a couple ways of looking at this.....
Unlike the NFL management/union stand-off a while back, which had the whole country in an uproar, this one pretty much flew under the radar. The masses didn't care. The media will normally go crazy shining a spotlight on Justin Bieber if he gets a zit, but they were ominously subdued about the NBA snafu. You'd think that would tell those people something.
By most accounts, a shortened season will start around Christmas. This is where the "better way" comes in.
Why not start their season about that time every year? The NBA, like the NHL, has always taken a back seat while the gorilla in the room, the NFL, is playing anyway. Instead of the NBA finishing off their season in June, why not finish it up in August every year? From June to August, barring a weekly NASCAR race, and an occasional golf or tennis tournament that's worth watching -- there's nothing going on anyway except baseball entering it's midseason "dog days" of summer. The June-August window would give the NBA prime exposure with little competition to worry about. Better yet, by the time they crowned a champ in August, the NFL would be coming on board again. Perfect.
Except for the Detroit Pistons. While my heart goes out to those that may be adversely affected -- even if the contract is approved -- do they REALLY have to play? I mean -- what's the point? They're going to get drilled like a newfound oil reservoir in Texas. What's worse is the Palace is a dry well right now. Yours truly doesn't understand why hired hands will get paid millions when they can't produce any Texas tea.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Smokies and bandits
I think it started in the south somewhere. Maybe with Paul "Bear" Bryant of Alabama. I'm talking about the "smokies" on the field escorting coaches around after a football game.
It used to be it was maybe a couple skinny guys that reminded one of Barney Fife doing a little moonlighting. Not any more. Nowadays, there's some beefy skin-headed brutes out there that look like they belong in the World Wrestling Federation.
You know who I'm talking about. The guys with the flat-brimmed hats, Popeye arms, and drill sergeant attitudes that one would normally expect to be hiding behind an interstate overpass with their radar on and their CBs tuned to channel 19. Yeah, those guys. And it's no longer just a southern phenomena -- they're everywhere -- at every game -- from football powerhouse universities all the way down to the lowliest Podunk State. Which raises a few questions.....
First, who's paying for these guys at the games? If it's the home university, then somebody's double-dipping somewhere because they're already on the taxpayer rolls. Conversely, if they're assigned there by their sergeant, captain, chief, whatever, then the taxpayers are getting ripped off. Instead of being out catching criminals, these guys are watching a football game for a few hours -- just so they can escort some coach off the field when it's over. No matter how heated the team rivalry might be -- has anybody ever heard of renegade fans attacking a coach after a game? Not me. Which leads me to....
What if it DID happen? The home team just suffered a beatdown by an archrival, with the opposing coach running up the score to rub it in, and the players dancing and mocking the crowd to the point where the fans anger boiled over into riot mode. What then?
If only a few crazy fans ran onto the field -- the whole team of highly-conditioned football players, in full pads, helmets, and all, wouldn't just sit around and watch their coach get abused. They'd handle it.
Yet if a few thousand torqued-up maniacs came pouring onto the field with mayhem on their minds -- what good are the "smokies" going to be anyway? They'd be overwhelmed in a matter of seconds. The dumbest thing they could probably do would be get belligerent and start with the mace and pepper spray. I don't know what would happen to them -- but it wouldn't be good.
So what's the point in their presence there?
They're like Barney Fife with an unloaded gun and only one bullet in his pocket. If a true emergency arises, they're useless anyway.
Better they should do something to earn their keep.
Best case scenario?
Since Andy retired, I hear Mayberry's grown up some, and is looking for a new sheriff and a few deputies these days.
Want perks? Talk to Opie. He just might be able to get them in the movies.
Beats sneaking around under overpasses too.
It used to be it was maybe a couple skinny guys that reminded one of Barney Fife doing a little moonlighting. Not any more. Nowadays, there's some beefy skin-headed brutes out there that look like they belong in the World Wrestling Federation.
You know who I'm talking about. The guys with the flat-brimmed hats, Popeye arms, and drill sergeant attitudes that one would normally expect to be hiding behind an interstate overpass with their radar on and their CBs tuned to channel 19. Yeah, those guys. And it's no longer just a southern phenomena -- they're everywhere -- at every game -- from football powerhouse universities all the way down to the lowliest Podunk State. Which raises a few questions.....
First, who's paying for these guys at the games? If it's the home university, then somebody's double-dipping somewhere because they're already on the taxpayer rolls. Conversely, if they're assigned there by their sergeant, captain, chief, whatever, then the taxpayers are getting ripped off. Instead of being out catching criminals, these guys are watching a football game for a few hours -- just so they can escort some coach off the field when it's over. No matter how heated the team rivalry might be -- has anybody ever heard of renegade fans attacking a coach after a game? Not me. Which leads me to....
What if it DID happen? The home team just suffered a beatdown by an archrival, with the opposing coach running up the score to rub it in, and the players dancing and mocking the crowd to the point where the fans anger boiled over into riot mode. What then?
If only a few crazy fans ran onto the field -- the whole team of highly-conditioned football players, in full pads, helmets, and all, wouldn't just sit around and watch their coach get abused. They'd handle it.
Yet if a few thousand torqued-up maniacs came pouring onto the field with mayhem on their minds -- what good are the "smokies" going to be anyway? They'd be overwhelmed in a matter of seconds. The dumbest thing they could probably do would be get belligerent and start with the mace and pepper spray. I don't know what would happen to them -- but it wouldn't be good.
So what's the point in their presence there?
They're like Barney Fife with an unloaded gun and only one bullet in his pocket. If a true emergency arises, they're useless anyway.
Better they should do something to earn their keep.
Best case scenario?
Since Andy retired, I hear Mayberry's grown up some, and is looking for a new sheriff and a few deputies these days.
Want perks? Talk to Opie. He just might be able to get them in the movies.
Beats sneaking around under overpasses too.
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