Detroit Lions wide receiver Calvin "Megatron" Johnson is one of those special guys that only comes along every generation or so. Kind of like Michael Jordan, Lebron James, Wayne Gretzky, Tom Brady, Tiger Woods, or perhaps Lance Armstrong, Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, and even, ahem, Regis Philbin. One way or the other, they were all dominant in their hey-days. Some remain heroes while others have been tainted for various reasons.
Calvin Johnson was the third in a trifecta of "freak" wide receivers in the NFL. "Freak" is meant to mean tall with long arms, superfast, hands of superglue, fearless, muscular, and finding a way to catch passes even in double/triple coverage. Randy Moss was the original freak, and Terrell Owens fit the same mold. Honorable mention to date for Dez Bryant of the Cowboys. He's getting close.
But there's a difference between Calvin Johnson and the folks mentioned in the opening paragraph above. The others all won something along the way. Sometimes multiple titles. Johnson has never won anything of note.
He will turn 30 shortly after the 2015 NFL season starts, and be in his ninth year with the Lions. Detroit has him under contract through the year 2019, when he will obviously be 34. Thirty four is getting up there in the world of the NFL (Not For Long).
Few would dispute Johnson has been and remains one of the premier wide receivers in the league. But he has paid a price for it over the years, notably leg injuries. Nothing serious enough to require major surgery, but he's played through a lot of dings in the last couple years. Many weeks he couldn't even practice. Just go out there on Sunday and suck it up. This is going to happen when a team has few other offensive options and continues to throw the ball in the general direction of Johnson. He should be commended for catching so many and putting up the stats he did, but it's not like the defenses didn't know it was coming. Could they stop it? Maybe not, but they could surely put some hellacious licks on Johnson. And they did.
The Lions and their media would have their fans believe they have improved by adding other offensive threats to take the load off Johnson. Perhaps they have. Golden Tate was a nice free agent addition, though one is left to wonder why he left a Super Bowl winning team in a beautiful city like Seattle to go to a perennial loser in a crime infested wasteland like Detroit.
The next Lions running back is always going to be their salvation -- or so the story has gone for many years. They have a bevy of tight ends, but none seems to be a complete player. The offensive line has been completely revamped. Maybe it works out. Maybe not. So far, they don't even seem to know who's going to play what position. Not a good sign.
Thing is, the Lions don't appear to be positioned as Super Bowl contenders any year soon. Within their own division, Green Bay is still a superior team. Granted, it appears the San Fran 49ers are headed downhill, but the Seahawks remain as formidable as ever. Didn't they just get all-world tight end Jimmy Graham from the Saints? The Arizona Cardinals are the real deal and who knows what mad scientist Chip Kelly is up to in Philly? Some of his moves appear crazy, but isn't that how eventual geniuses are always perceived when they start out? Bill Belichick, anyone? Jerry Jones in Big D will do whatever it takes to get his Boys back into contention.
While other teams have gone from the mountaintop to the basement and back, the Lions always seem to be in ho-hum over-hyped mode. They've seen the cellar but never come close to the promised land. Year after year, they can never get over the hump. If they beat a long time nemesis, another one (or two) has popped up in the meantime only to swat them back down.
Will the Lions be better than their 11-5 record of last year? Possibly, but probably not. They had a patsy schedule befitting a losing team in 2014 and were incredibly lucky to win a few games they did. Having made the playoffs, the NFL handed them a much tougher schedule for 2015. Look for them to slide back to maybe 9-7. Only the most koolaided Detroit fans would consider them Super Bowl contenders. Please. To boot, head coach Jim Caldwell's history isn't working in their favor either. He's been wildly successful as a coordinator under other head coaches and even fared well with his first year running the show -- but then his teams have a history of going downhill -- fast. We'll see.
Regardless, Calvin Johnson may like playing in Detroit, and he's certainly put up impressive stats while with them. But his chances of winning a Super Bowl are dismal at best in Detroit. He may make a lot of money and someday be considered for the Hall of Fame, but he landed in the wrong place if a "ring" was important to him.
Here's wishing him the best and may his legs hold up through 2019 -- no given -- but it seems a shame such a phenomenal talent might well never get a chance at the ultimate glory. Ernie Banks of the Chicago Cubs knew about that.
Despite his incredible talent, he was in the wrong place. Calvin Johnson was born and raised in Georgia. Went to high school there. Went to college there. He has said he didn't originally like coming to Detroit but has come to embrace it. Well, OK. Making $20 some million a year typically has a way of cheering up most people a little bit.
But if he has any brains and ever wants to sniff a title, he'll look for a way out of Detroit to a legitimate contender while he still has a few good years left in him. As long as he remains with the Lions, getting anywhere near the Lombardi trophy is highly unlikely, to say the least. And every play of every game could be his last. Stuff happens.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Monday, July 6, 2015
A NASCAR rant
Congrats to the US ladies soccer team on winning the World Cup. Even more notable is goalkeeper Hope Solo didn't beat anybody up during the whole tournament. Even on the "pitch".
Why do NASCAR people keep referring to entrants in their races by the numbers of their cars rather than the drivers themselves? We commonly hear this or that about the number 4 car, or number 20 car, etc. Perhaps this is easily understood by stock car racing aficionados, but casual observers have no clue what they are talking about. Imagine the same terminology being applied in other sports. Lebron James likely wouldn't appreciate being called the number 23 shirt. Or Tom Brady the number 12 unit. God forbid someone ever refers to Tiger Woods as the red and black dude on Sundays. Social media would go berserk. Is it asking too much to just call them by name? Good grief, it's as if the NASCAR folks think the cars can understand what they're saying. They've come a long ways with technology over the years, but it's likely a safe bet the cars themselves haven't become self-aware yet. Whens the last time you heard one saying OUCH when it hit a wall? Or self-ejecting the nitwit driver that was about to cause the accident in the first place? Wouldn't THAT be interesting? Amongst her other gear, Danica Patrick would have to wear a parachute.
Idle thought: How the hell does Kobe Bryant still rate being the highest paid player in the NBA? He's a shell of the player he once was and can't even seem to stay healthy for very long. Besides, the Lakers are terrible and really good players don't want to go there because of -- Kobe. He appears to be a one-man franchise wrecker. Twenty five million a year for this?
In the recent race at Daytona, the #3 car, oops, Austin Dillon's ride, went airborne on the final lap. It was a horrendous accident that tore the entire engine/transmission assembly out of the car. Thankfully, AD was able to walk away unharmed. The talking heads were abuzz about how amazing the safety technology in these cars has become. No doubt about it, but they missed another point.
The "catch fence" at Daytona barely kept Dillon's car from flying into the specatators. At that, several had to be hospitalized for various injuries. Hot jagged car parts, even little ones, coming at you at 180 MPH is not exactly the optimum scenario.
In the old days, the spectator protection wasn't nearly what it is today. Can you imagine the horror that would have ensued if Dillon's car had made it through the fence (it almost did) and flown into the packed grandstands? It might have killed a hundred or more and severely injured countless others. It would have been the biggest disaster in the history of sports. Which brings up another point....
NASCAR is forever tinkering with their rules, but it's no secret that at the "restrictor plate" tracks (Daytona and Talladega) multi-car accidents are not the exception -- but the rule. The "big one" is going to happen. While NASCAR maintains slowing down the cars has made it safer many drivers advocate the opposite. Restrictor plates bunch the cars up and make colossal crashes more likely. Hey, if the drivers want to go faster, then let them. They know what they signed up for.
But the biggest change of all NASCAR should strongly consider is getting rid of their insistence on a race finishing under the green flag. We all know the final couple (regulation) laps on superspeedway tracks are highly accident prone due to the drivers throwing caution to the wind and driving like maniacs. There's ALWAYS a major pile-up. Naturally, the yellow flag comes out. Many times the final lap is completed under yellow while the track crew cleans up the debris and the wrecked cars are towed off.
So let the race finish like that. Whoever was ahead when the final yellow comes out -- wins. Pretty simple. When the 400th or 500th mile, whichever, is completed, it's over. Period.
But no, NASCAR insists on overtime laps. Let's do it again boys and girls. We'll have a 3 lap, green, white, checkered finish.
You just KNOW what's going to happen. Whatever cars and drivers are still left go back into demolition derby mode one more time. Another major pile-up. It's not only unnecessary, but reckless on NASCAR's part. They're inviting disaster, which their track record at such events clearly shows is almost a certainty.
At times NASCARs logic is ironic, if not downright hypocritical. They will bang a crew chief, driver and/or owner if a spoiler is found to be a quarter inch off, or a team uses an "illegal" shock absorber or spring. Everything has to be just perfect -- within specs. And they have surely touted the safety features they have mandated in the cars since the tragic death of Dale Earnhart Sr. at the same Daytona Speedway over a dozen years ago. They've even installed cushioned walls at many of the tracks to soften impacts.
But they still insist on an exciting finish, no matter how many redos it takes. By doing so they know damn well there's going to be another wreck. It happens every time.
God forbid, but someday another driver just might get killed because of this logic and -- worse yet -- a bunch of spectators. Driver safety aside, can you imagine the field day lawyers would have if a slew of innocent moms, dads, and a few kids in the stands met their demise because NASCAR insisted on running a few extra unscheduled laps in the name of an exciting finish?
While NASCAR may well be a multi-billion dollar enterprise, they would be much less so when the legal eagles got done picking their bones.
For their own future well-being, it's time to stop this nonsense.
Why do NASCAR people keep referring to entrants in their races by the numbers of their cars rather than the drivers themselves? We commonly hear this or that about the number 4 car, or number 20 car, etc. Perhaps this is easily understood by stock car racing aficionados, but casual observers have no clue what they are talking about. Imagine the same terminology being applied in other sports. Lebron James likely wouldn't appreciate being called the number 23 shirt. Or Tom Brady the number 12 unit. God forbid someone ever refers to Tiger Woods as the red and black dude on Sundays. Social media would go berserk. Is it asking too much to just call them by name? Good grief, it's as if the NASCAR folks think the cars can understand what they're saying. They've come a long ways with technology over the years, but it's likely a safe bet the cars themselves haven't become self-aware yet. Whens the last time you heard one saying OUCH when it hit a wall? Or self-ejecting the nitwit driver that was about to cause the accident in the first place? Wouldn't THAT be interesting? Amongst her other gear, Danica Patrick would have to wear a parachute.
Idle thought: How the hell does Kobe Bryant still rate being the highest paid player in the NBA? He's a shell of the player he once was and can't even seem to stay healthy for very long. Besides, the Lakers are terrible and really good players don't want to go there because of -- Kobe. He appears to be a one-man franchise wrecker. Twenty five million a year for this?
In the recent race at Daytona, the #3 car, oops, Austin Dillon's ride, went airborne on the final lap. It was a horrendous accident that tore the entire engine/transmission assembly out of the car. Thankfully, AD was able to walk away unharmed. The talking heads were abuzz about how amazing the safety technology in these cars has become. No doubt about it, but they missed another point.
The "catch fence" at Daytona barely kept Dillon's car from flying into the specatators. At that, several had to be hospitalized for various injuries. Hot jagged car parts, even little ones, coming at you at 180 MPH is not exactly the optimum scenario.
In the old days, the spectator protection wasn't nearly what it is today. Can you imagine the horror that would have ensued if Dillon's car had made it through the fence (it almost did) and flown into the packed grandstands? It might have killed a hundred or more and severely injured countless others. It would have been the biggest disaster in the history of sports. Which brings up another point....
NASCAR is forever tinkering with their rules, but it's no secret that at the "restrictor plate" tracks (Daytona and Talladega) multi-car accidents are not the exception -- but the rule. The "big one" is going to happen. While NASCAR maintains slowing down the cars has made it safer many drivers advocate the opposite. Restrictor plates bunch the cars up and make colossal crashes more likely. Hey, if the drivers want to go faster, then let them. They know what they signed up for.
But the biggest change of all NASCAR should strongly consider is getting rid of their insistence on a race finishing under the green flag. We all know the final couple (regulation) laps on superspeedway tracks are highly accident prone due to the drivers throwing caution to the wind and driving like maniacs. There's ALWAYS a major pile-up. Naturally, the yellow flag comes out. Many times the final lap is completed under yellow while the track crew cleans up the debris and the wrecked cars are towed off.
So let the race finish like that. Whoever was ahead when the final yellow comes out -- wins. Pretty simple. When the 400th or 500th mile, whichever, is completed, it's over. Period.
But no, NASCAR insists on overtime laps. Let's do it again boys and girls. We'll have a 3 lap, green, white, checkered finish.
You just KNOW what's going to happen. Whatever cars and drivers are still left go back into demolition derby mode one more time. Another major pile-up. It's not only unnecessary, but reckless on NASCAR's part. They're inviting disaster, which their track record at such events clearly shows is almost a certainty.
At times NASCARs logic is ironic, if not downright hypocritical. They will bang a crew chief, driver and/or owner if a spoiler is found to be a quarter inch off, or a team uses an "illegal" shock absorber or spring. Everything has to be just perfect -- within specs. And they have surely touted the safety features they have mandated in the cars since the tragic death of Dale Earnhart Sr. at the same Daytona Speedway over a dozen years ago. They've even installed cushioned walls at many of the tracks to soften impacts.
But they still insist on an exciting finish, no matter how many redos it takes. By doing so they know damn well there's going to be another wreck. It happens every time.
God forbid, but someday another driver just might get killed because of this logic and -- worse yet -- a bunch of spectators. Driver safety aside, can you imagine the field day lawyers would have if a slew of innocent moms, dads, and a few kids in the stands met their demise because NASCAR insisted on running a few extra unscheduled laps in the name of an exciting finish?
While NASCAR may well be a multi-billion dollar enterprise, they would be much less so when the legal eagles got done picking their bones.
For their own future well-being, it's time to stop this nonsense.
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Justin Verlander. A huge bust?
Detroit Tiger fans certainly don't want to hear it, but Justin Verlander is beginning to have the makings of a huge bust -- in two different ways. His pitching performance and what he will cost the Tigers for the next several years regardless. Let's look at his stats. After a horrid 2008 campaign that saw him go 11-17 with an ERA of 4.64, Verlander got on a roll. Check out the next several years.
2009. 19-9. ERA of 3.45. Quite the turnaround.
2010. 18-9. 3.37. Continued excellence.
2011. 24-5. 2.40. He killed it and received the Cy Young award.
2012. 17-8. 2.64. Still outstanding.
In the spring of 2013, the Tigers signed Verlander to a long contract extension. This included Godzilla bucks which made JV the highest paid pitcher in the game. Barring an unlikely trade, he would stay with the Tigers until the year 2020. Total cost to the club? Over $200 million. Along the way, Verlander even got a breakfast cereal named after him. Fastball Flakes. Don't know if they're still around, but yours truly tried it once. While they're probably nutritious, let's just say Tony the Tiger has no worries over competition when it comes to the taste of his product. One remains grrrrrreat!. The other? Pretty much yuck.
But then things began to go downhill.
In 2013, Verlander was a pedestrian 13-12 and his ERA jumped to 3.46.
Just last year, 2014, JV went another mediocre 15-12, but his ERA took another leap to 4.54.
Under the terms of his contract, Verlander was paid $20,000,000 for each of those years. Considering performance versus compensation -- does something seem a bit out of focus with that picture?
The 2015 campaign rolled around and JV had a mysterious arm ailment. Though at first thought to be a minor issue, it would sideline him for the first two months of the season.
After he finally made it back, Verlander has had 4 starts, won ZERO games (lost two), and his ERA is a whopping 6.75. The Toronto Blue Jays lit him up earlier last night. It should be noted that Verlander's salary increased to $28,000,000.
The season is now half over, which means Verlander has made $14 million for basically contributing nothing. Sure, there are those that think JV will make it "all the way back" and let's hope they're right. After all, he's only 32 and should be in the prime of his career.
But the trend of the last few years as cited above cannot be ignored. Verlander has fallen from his once lofty perch as an "ace" to merely being mediocre. If the Tiger hopefuls are wrong and JV continues his slide for whatever reasons, he could well go down as one of the all-time biggest flame-outs/busts in the history of baseball.
Such is the precarious world of signing players to long-term lucrative contracts -- especially pitchers. They seldom work out for the duration. Much more often than not, teams are stuck with a financial albatross around their necks as the player ages and his skills diminish.
But in Verlander's case, the fall seemed to come out of nowhere. Or maybe it had something to do with his love life. After all, one can only imagine how energy-sapping it is to rock and roll with Kate Upton.
Nevertheless, the Tigers are on the hook for Verlander's $28M a year until 2020. Five more years. Even if he never wins another game. And given the way he's been pitching this year so far, it appears the Tigers are going to have to score a lot of runs for JV to chalk up a W. Because the other teams don't seem to have any problem hitting what he has to offer.
Granted, $28M in the insane world of professional sports salaries is hardly a franchise-buster. Owner Mike Ilitch has shrewd financial people to handle such things. They'll find a way to write it off if JV completely bottoms out. And the club will move on to tout their next "superhero". Their local reporters will hype/write about it and the fans will believe it. That's just the way it works. Hope springs eternal, as they say.
But if we are now witnessing the tipping point of a once soaring career going quickly into the dumpster, it would be much easier to argue Justin Verlander's legacy will more closely resemble that of a bust than one of the all-time greats.
The remainder of this season will be telling indeed........
2009. 19-9. ERA of 3.45. Quite the turnaround.
2010. 18-9. 3.37. Continued excellence.
2011. 24-5. 2.40. He killed it and received the Cy Young award.
2012. 17-8. 2.64. Still outstanding.
In the spring of 2013, the Tigers signed Verlander to a long contract extension. This included Godzilla bucks which made JV the highest paid pitcher in the game. Barring an unlikely trade, he would stay with the Tigers until the year 2020. Total cost to the club? Over $200 million. Along the way, Verlander even got a breakfast cereal named after him. Fastball Flakes. Don't know if they're still around, but yours truly tried it once. While they're probably nutritious, let's just say Tony the Tiger has no worries over competition when it comes to the taste of his product. One remains grrrrrreat!. The other? Pretty much yuck.
But then things began to go downhill.
In 2013, Verlander was a pedestrian 13-12 and his ERA jumped to 3.46.
Just last year, 2014, JV went another mediocre 15-12, but his ERA took another leap to 4.54.
Under the terms of his contract, Verlander was paid $20,000,000 for each of those years. Considering performance versus compensation -- does something seem a bit out of focus with that picture?
The 2015 campaign rolled around and JV had a mysterious arm ailment. Though at first thought to be a minor issue, it would sideline him for the first two months of the season.
After he finally made it back, Verlander has had 4 starts, won ZERO games (lost two), and his ERA is a whopping 6.75. The Toronto Blue Jays lit him up earlier last night. It should be noted that Verlander's salary increased to $28,000,000.
The season is now half over, which means Verlander has made $14 million for basically contributing nothing. Sure, there are those that think JV will make it "all the way back" and let's hope they're right. After all, he's only 32 and should be in the prime of his career.
But the trend of the last few years as cited above cannot be ignored. Verlander has fallen from his once lofty perch as an "ace" to merely being mediocre. If the Tiger hopefuls are wrong and JV continues his slide for whatever reasons, he could well go down as one of the all-time biggest flame-outs/busts in the history of baseball.
Such is the precarious world of signing players to long-term lucrative contracts -- especially pitchers. They seldom work out for the duration. Much more often than not, teams are stuck with a financial albatross around their necks as the player ages and his skills diminish.
But in Verlander's case, the fall seemed to come out of nowhere. Or maybe it had something to do with his love life. After all, one can only imagine how energy-sapping it is to rock and roll with Kate Upton.
Nevertheless, the Tigers are on the hook for Verlander's $28M a year until 2020. Five more years. Even if he never wins another game. And given the way he's been pitching this year so far, it appears the Tigers are going to have to score a lot of runs for JV to chalk up a W. Because the other teams don't seem to have any problem hitting what he has to offer.
Granted, $28M in the insane world of professional sports salaries is hardly a franchise-buster. Owner Mike Ilitch has shrewd financial people to handle such things. They'll find a way to write it off if JV completely bottoms out. And the club will move on to tout their next "superhero". Their local reporters will hype/write about it and the fans will believe it. That's just the way it works. Hope springs eternal, as they say.
But if we are now witnessing the tipping point of a once soaring career going quickly into the dumpster, it would be much easier to argue Justin Verlander's legacy will more closely resemble that of a bust than one of the all-time greats.
The remainder of this season will be telling indeed........
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Who's screaming now? Surprise!
In the world of sports a lot of screaming goes on. The fans in attendance at arenas and stadiums are certainly vocal. Pretty much the same goes for sports bars when the patrons are watching their home team. A great play by one of their own will result in standing whoops, fist-pumping, high fives, and maybe another round. Conversely, if the bum refs or umpires blow a call (perceived or real) that goes against their heroes, there will still be vocal outrage, and maybe a few peanuts or french fries bounce off the flat screens.
[Despite the frustration, it's generally not a good idea to throw pizza squares, burgers, or hot wings at the video equipment. First of all, that stuff's expensive to start with and, second, the management would likely frown on such behavior. Coney dogs are definitely out.]
But there's other screaming going on and the source is somewhat surprising. I'll get back to that.
In recent years the fairer sex has made fantastic progress when it comes to covering sporting events. It's not a bit unusual to see women in a variety of roles that were once male only territory. Some of them have done their homework and know their stuff, while others are just pretty faces without a clue. Then again, the same could be said for some of the guys. Seen Bruce Jenner lately? Ahem.
Thing is, right or wrong, women have long had the reputation of being more prone to screaming than men. Sure, the guys will let out a triumphant whoop here and there over a notable accomplishment, but the girls still do a lot more yelling overall when it comes to athletic participants. They are many on the women's pro tennis tour that shriek every time they hit the ball. This is why God invented mute buttons when watching such a match. Years ago, US soccer player Brandi Chastain famously ripped her shirt off after scoring the winning goal to show the world -- well -- maybe it wasn't that big of a deal. Ahem again.
But now the tables have turned. The men are doing all the screaming, particularly amongst game announcers and TV talking heads. Be it a baseball, basketball, hockey, or football game, the men will completely lose it when describing a good play. Their voices rise and the words come fast and furious like they just witnessed the Second Coming. What we have just seen must be the greatest feat of all time in the world of sports -- according to them. And it will be something else even greater tomorrow.
Example: Ever heard a male Latino announcer describing a point scored in soccer? GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!! And then more gibberish that Artoo Detoo would be hard pressed to decipher.
Baseball outfielders making diving catches are routine these days. But when one does it, count on seeing it as some sort of phenomenal highlight. Every home run over 400 feet is considered as some sort of "monster shot". Nevermind that back in the pre-steroid days, guys with inferior bats and deader baseballs used to hit 500+ foot home runs. (Whatever happened to that?) If one of those occurred today, the male announcers might well spontaneously combust.
Dunks in the NBA are still celebrated like some sort of Herculean feat, though they happen constantly. And isn't a 6 foot 8 or above player dunking the ball a little like a pro golfer making a 6 inch putt? I mean, how many different fancy ways are there to do it? It still only counts for 2 points or 1 stroke.
But the XYer talking heads will go ballistic over a routine dunk. To their credit, the XXers remain a little more subdued over such things. To them, every hockey goal or 50 yard touchdown pass isn't a classic. Sure, they're coached up to bring the hype, but so far they seem to have retained a manner of sanity when the mundane happens. Contrary to their male counterparts, everything is not the "greatest".
It should be noted that on a certain sports network a couple XXer talking heads are seriously preggers. Nothing wrong with that. It is necessary to propogate the species, though the thought of the next generation of talking heads being even more hyper-excitable than the current one is somewhat scary. Either that, or these girls have been hanging out with Joey Chestnut doing some serious competitive eating training. An even scarier thought.
What's that? Joey just lost his hot-dog eating title at the Nathan's Coney Island contest?
Wow. All good things must, urp, come to an end sometime. And the new champion is a guy named Stonie? Really? Actually, it makes perfect sense. Anybody that can eat 62 hot dogs and buns in only 10 minutes most definitely has a world class case of the munchies.
And the male announcer screamed with excitement like King Kong himself had just taken the stage with a rogue Kardashian in tow. The ladies were probably horrified. Who wants to go out on a date with, much less get serious with a guy that makes Jethro Bodine look like an anorexic when it comes to vittles? Yikes.
[Despite the frustration, it's generally not a good idea to throw pizza squares, burgers, or hot wings at the video equipment. First of all, that stuff's expensive to start with and, second, the management would likely frown on such behavior. Coney dogs are definitely out.]
But there's other screaming going on and the source is somewhat surprising. I'll get back to that.
In recent years the fairer sex has made fantastic progress when it comes to covering sporting events. It's not a bit unusual to see women in a variety of roles that were once male only territory. Some of them have done their homework and know their stuff, while others are just pretty faces without a clue. Then again, the same could be said for some of the guys. Seen Bruce Jenner lately? Ahem.
Thing is, right or wrong, women have long had the reputation of being more prone to screaming than men. Sure, the guys will let out a triumphant whoop here and there over a notable accomplishment, but the girls still do a lot more yelling overall when it comes to athletic participants. They are many on the women's pro tennis tour that shriek every time they hit the ball. This is why God invented mute buttons when watching such a match. Years ago, US soccer player Brandi Chastain famously ripped her shirt off after scoring the winning goal to show the world -- well -- maybe it wasn't that big of a deal. Ahem again.
But now the tables have turned. The men are doing all the screaming, particularly amongst game announcers and TV talking heads. Be it a baseball, basketball, hockey, or football game, the men will completely lose it when describing a good play. Their voices rise and the words come fast and furious like they just witnessed the Second Coming. What we have just seen must be the greatest feat of all time in the world of sports -- according to them. And it will be something else even greater tomorrow.
Example: Ever heard a male Latino announcer describing a point scored in soccer? GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!! And then more gibberish that Artoo Detoo would be hard pressed to decipher.
Baseball outfielders making diving catches are routine these days. But when one does it, count on seeing it as some sort of phenomenal highlight. Every home run over 400 feet is considered as some sort of "monster shot". Nevermind that back in the pre-steroid days, guys with inferior bats and deader baseballs used to hit 500+ foot home runs. (Whatever happened to that?) If one of those occurred today, the male announcers might well spontaneously combust.
Dunks in the NBA are still celebrated like some sort of Herculean feat, though they happen constantly. And isn't a 6 foot 8 or above player dunking the ball a little like a pro golfer making a 6 inch putt? I mean, how many different fancy ways are there to do it? It still only counts for 2 points or 1 stroke.
But the XYer talking heads will go ballistic over a routine dunk. To their credit, the XXers remain a little more subdued over such things. To them, every hockey goal or 50 yard touchdown pass isn't a classic. Sure, they're coached up to bring the hype, but so far they seem to have retained a manner of sanity when the mundane happens. Contrary to their male counterparts, everything is not the "greatest".
It should be noted that on a certain sports network a couple XXer talking heads are seriously preggers. Nothing wrong with that. It is necessary to propogate the species, though the thought of the next generation of talking heads being even more hyper-excitable than the current one is somewhat scary. Either that, or these girls have been hanging out with Joey Chestnut doing some serious competitive eating training. An even scarier thought.
What's that? Joey just lost his hot-dog eating title at the Nathan's Coney Island contest?
Wow. All good things must, urp, come to an end sometime. And the new champion is a guy named Stonie? Really? Actually, it makes perfect sense. Anybody that can eat 62 hot dogs and buns in only 10 minutes most definitely has a world class case of the munchies.
And the male announcer screamed with excitement like King Kong himself had just taken the stage with a rogue Kardashian in tow. The ladies were probably horrified. Who wants to go out on a date with, much less get serious with a guy that makes Jethro Bodine look like an anorexic when it comes to vittles? Yikes.
Happy Fourth of July!!!
Ah yes. Independence day. Ghosts of the founding fathers are in the air. Did you know both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on the same day within five hours of each other in 1826 -- on the Fourth of July? What an incredible coincidence!!
Fly the Stars and Stripes proudly, but don't pull a Bubba Watson. Bubba once purchased the Dukes of Hazzard car. You know, the General Lee. At least one of them. Over the course of the show, almost three hundred 1969 Dodge Chargers were used, because they rarely survived a jump without major damage. Bubba's decided to paint over the Stars and Bars on the roof of his version with the Stars and Stripes. How stupid is this? Why not change it from orange to pink and rename it the General Grant while he's at it? One is not supposed to alter historical artifacts in the name of political correctness. They were what they were and should remain unchanged. Bubba's wimping out. I always did wonder about that pink driver he uses.
Fireworks will be everywhere and what great fun. Have a dog that becomes scared when the booms and bright lights start going off? Do what I do with my toy yorkies. Put them on my lap facing the screen and call up this blog. It's enough to put anybody to sleep. Maybe even into a coma. Either way, the boom/flash problem is solved. However, if your critters are smart enough to actually read but keep twitching for a few days after looking at one of these posts -- do not be alarmed. This is normal behavior and it will go away eventually -- I think.
Be safe in whatever you do and if you can't remember how many drinks you had -- it's too many to drive a car. Call a cab, get another ride, crash on somebody's couch -- whatever -- but don't try to run the gauntlet of cops that will be everywhere. They have a room for you and you won't like it. Plus, it will get mighty expensive before it's all over. Though the odds are with you, it's not worth the risk. The jails will be chock full of people -- cha-ching -- before the weekend is over. Don't be one of them.
On a lighter note, the Pistons just traded for a few guys and the Red Wings have a new coach. Hope springs eternal. The Tigers have been underachievers so far this year, but you never know. They could go on a run and make some noise in the playoffs before it's all over. The Lions? Well -- faces and coaches keep changing -- but it's still the Lions. Can't blame it on their long time owner anymore. But over 50 years of futility don't lie. Some things just aren't meant to be.
And Joey Chestnut will go for his tenth straight title at the Nathan's Coney Island hot dog eating contest. Sixty-some hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes? With a quart or two of water to wash them down? Amazing. From slim and trim to the nine months pregnant look in ten minutes. Betcha he doesn't drive anywhere either when his 4th of July festivities are over. And talk about morning sickness..... We watch the spectacle but have no clue what suffering comes after. Whatever it is -- it's probably not pretty.
Regardless, happy birthday America. You're now 239 years old. Despite some of the nitwit politicians over the years, this thing just might work out yet.
Fly the Stars and Stripes proudly, but don't pull a Bubba Watson. Bubba once purchased the Dukes of Hazzard car. You know, the General Lee. At least one of them. Over the course of the show, almost three hundred 1969 Dodge Chargers were used, because they rarely survived a jump without major damage. Bubba's decided to paint over the Stars and Bars on the roof of his version with the Stars and Stripes. How stupid is this? Why not change it from orange to pink and rename it the General Grant while he's at it? One is not supposed to alter historical artifacts in the name of political correctness. They were what they were and should remain unchanged. Bubba's wimping out. I always did wonder about that pink driver he uses.
Fireworks will be everywhere and what great fun. Have a dog that becomes scared when the booms and bright lights start going off? Do what I do with my toy yorkies. Put them on my lap facing the screen and call up this blog. It's enough to put anybody to sleep. Maybe even into a coma. Either way, the boom/flash problem is solved. However, if your critters are smart enough to actually read but keep twitching for a few days after looking at one of these posts -- do not be alarmed. This is normal behavior and it will go away eventually -- I think.
Be safe in whatever you do and if you can't remember how many drinks you had -- it's too many to drive a car. Call a cab, get another ride, crash on somebody's couch -- whatever -- but don't try to run the gauntlet of cops that will be everywhere. They have a room for you and you won't like it. Plus, it will get mighty expensive before it's all over. Though the odds are with you, it's not worth the risk. The jails will be chock full of people -- cha-ching -- before the weekend is over. Don't be one of them.
On a lighter note, the Pistons just traded for a few guys and the Red Wings have a new coach. Hope springs eternal. The Tigers have been underachievers so far this year, but you never know. They could go on a run and make some noise in the playoffs before it's all over. The Lions? Well -- faces and coaches keep changing -- but it's still the Lions. Can't blame it on their long time owner anymore. But over 50 years of futility don't lie. Some things just aren't meant to be.
And Joey Chestnut will go for his tenth straight title at the Nathan's Coney Island hot dog eating contest. Sixty-some hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes? With a quart or two of water to wash them down? Amazing. From slim and trim to the nine months pregnant look in ten minutes. Betcha he doesn't drive anywhere either when his 4th of July festivities are over. And talk about morning sickness..... We watch the spectacle but have no clue what suffering comes after. Whatever it is -- it's probably not pretty.
Regardless, happy birthday America. You're now 239 years old. Despite some of the nitwit politicians over the years, this thing just might work out yet.
Friday, July 3, 2015
Speaking of Tigers.....
Well OK. The Pittsburgh Pirates just completed a sweep of the Detroit Tigers. Roughly half the season is over and, after all the local hype and hoopla about how great they were going to be, the Motowners find themselves at 39-39. The very definition of an average team.
The Tigers are 6 games behind the division leading KC Royals and should feel fortunate it's not worse. The Royals have been in a mini-slump losing their last 4. Detroit is also trailing Minnesota in it's own division by a few games and those pesky Cleveland Indians are only a couple more back.
At a mere .500, the Tigers are in 7th place in the wildcard race with only two spots available. Can they turn it around? Maybe, maybe not.
The Tigers have a few bright spots. Miguel Cabrera continues to be what he is. 'Nuff said. Catcher James McCann has far exceeded all expectations, at least in the short run. Outfielder J. D. Martinez keeps pounding the ball. Shortstop Jose Iglesias was supposed to be slick with the glove, but is also sporting a gaudy .330 average so far. Yoenis Cespides in left field has definitely been an upgrade over last year's whozit situation.
But they have flaws galore as well. The same Iglesias has a history of putting up a good first half of a year -- but going into the dumpster in the second half. We'll see. Despite his lofty reputation, second baseman Ian Kinsler has been underwhelming so far. Third baseman Nick Castellanos remains an enigma. He's gotten better with the glove, but has never hit major league pitching like most thought he would.
Pitching-wise David Price is the real deal, but the rest of the starters are hit and miss at best. It's now halfway through the season and former ace Justin Verlander is yet to win a single game. Anabel Sanchez can be Tom Seaver one game and a batting practice pitcher the next. Pretty much the same goes with the others. They are whoever the Tigers could procure after losing Max Scherzer to free agency and trading away a couple of former decent starters. Some days they're good -- other days it's pinball machine time.
To assert the Tigers' collective bullpen is a bit iffy is like saying there might be a few casualties if nuclear war breaks out. Let's just say these guys aren't the most reliable relievers the game has ever seen.
All in all, the Tigers are probably just about where they belong at .500. A few assets, but a few liabilities as well.
And then there's another Tiger, one Mr. Woods. He just shot a very good opening round at the Greenbriar Classic. Four under par. Greenbriar has long been known for surrendering low scores, and the early leader is at 8 under par, but a 66 is a vast improvement these days when it comes to Woods. Will he be able to hang on Friday or crash and burn again? Hard to say. But there was the obligatory press conference. Eldrick could shoot 90 or 135 for 18 holes, but the media still wants to hear his thoughts. Why this is remains a good question. The man's ranked #220 in the world. Any other American falling that far would have to go back to Q-school to regain their PGA card. But with Tiger, the fascination remains. Incredible.
To boot, the Greenbriar is pretty much a second-tier tournament on the tour. Few "big names" even showed up to play in it. The heavyweights are all getting ready for the British Open in a couple weeks. If Tiger ever had a chance to do well in a tournament, this is the one. Here's wishing him the best but, again, we'll see.
If it turns out Eldrick is in contention on the back nine on Sunday -- this would be a big deal. And OMG, if he actually were to win it -- Katie bar the door and get ready for the biggest sports media blitz in recent years. He'd be front page news. Probably get another cover on Sports Illustrated. THE KING IS BACK!!!. Sound the trumpets, yon peasants kneel in awe, line up the endorsements and TV talking heads and put the harem on notice. Or at least another blonde girl.
But if the opposite happens and Tiger bombs out and misses the cut against a weak field in a second-class tournament, he might as well give it up. It's over. Why even bother going over to the Old Course of St. Andrews for the British Open? Just so he can be blistered by 20 or 30 shots again by the young guns?
Let's get real. What's the chances of the #220 ranked golfer in the world winning a "major"? Even making the cut is a long shot. But because it's Tiger, there will be press conferences and photo ops galore. Count on it.
One is left to objectively wonder how bad and for how long this guy has to get before the trance wears off and people come to their senses. That's not even to mention his history of boorish behavior on the course, being discourteous to fans, and his well-publicized adulterous shenanigans not long ago. But he's always the perfect gentleman when the cameras are rolling.
This is a hero? One word.
Puhleeze......
The Tigers are 6 games behind the division leading KC Royals and should feel fortunate it's not worse. The Royals have been in a mini-slump losing their last 4. Detroit is also trailing Minnesota in it's own division by a few games and those pesky Cleveland Indians are only a couple more back.
At a mere .500, the Tigers are in 7th place in the wildcard race with only two spots available. Can they turn it around? Maybe, maybe not.
The Tigers have a few bright spots. Miguel Cabrera continues to be what he is. 'Nuff said. Catcher James McCann has far exceeded all expectations, at least in the short run. Outfielder J. D. Martinez keeps pounding the ball. Shortstop Jose Iglesias was supposed to be slick with the glove, but is also sporting a gaudy .330 average so far. Yoenis Cespides in left field has definitely been an upgrade over last year's whozit situation.
But they have flaws galore as well. The same Iglesias has a history of putting up a good first half of a year -- but going into the dumpster in the second half. We'll see. Despite his lofty reputation, second baseman Ian Kinsler has been underwhelming so far. Third baseman Nick Castellanos remains an enigma. He's gotten better with the glove, but has never hit major league pitching like most thought he would.
Pitching-wise David Price is the real deal, but the rest of the starters are hit and miss at best. It's now halfway through the season and former ace Justin Verlander is yet to win a single game. Anabel Sanchez can be Tom Seaver one game and a batting practice pitcher the next. Pretty much the same goes with the others. They are whoever the Tigers could procure after losing Max Scherzer to free agency and trading away a couple of former decent starters. Some days they're good -- other days it's pinball machine time.
To assert the Tigers' collective bullpen is a bit iffy is like saying there might be a few casualties if nuclear war breaks out. Let's just say these guys aren't the most reliable relievers the game has ever seen.
All in all, the Tigers are probably just about where they belong at .500. A few assets, but a few liabilities as well.
And then there's another Tiger, one Mr. Woods. He just shot a very good opening round at the Greenbriar Classic. Four under par. Greenbriar has long been known for surrendering low scores, and the early leader is at 8 under par, but a 66 is a vast improvement these days when it comes to Woods. Will he be able to hang on Friday or crash and burn again? Hard to say. But there was the obligatory press conference. Eldrick could shoot 90 or 135 for 18 holes, but the media still wants to hear his thoughts. Why this is remains a good question. The man's ranked #220 in the world. Any other American falling that far would have to go back to Q-school to regain their PGA card. But with Tiger, the fascination remains. Incredible.
To boot, the Greenbriar is pretty much a second-tier tournament on the tour. Few "big names" even showed up to play in it. The heavyweights are all getting ready for the British Open in a couple weeks. If Tiger ever had a chance to do well in a tournament, this is the one. Here's wishing him the best but, again, we'll see.
If it turns out Eldrick is in contention on the back nine on Sunday -- this would be a big deal. And OMG, if he actually were to win it -- Katie bar the door and get ready for the biggest sports media blitz in recent years. He'd be front page news. Probably get another cover on Sports Illustrated. THE KING IS BACK!!!. Sound the trumpets, yon peasants kneel in awe, line up the endorsements and TV talking heads and put the harem on notice. Or at least another blonde girl.
But if the opposite happens and Tiger bombs out and misses the cut against a weak field in a second-class tournament, he might as well give it up. It's over. Why even bother going over to the Old Course of St. Andrews for the British Open? Just so he can be blistered by 20 or 30 shots again by the young guns?
Let's get real. What's the chances of the #220 ranked golfer in the world winning a "major"? Even making the cut is a long shot. But because it's Tiger, there will be press conferences and photo ops galore. Count on it.
One is left to objectively wonder how bad and for how long this guy has to get before the trance wears off and people come to their senses. That's not even to mention his history of boorish behavior on the course, being discourteous to fans, and his well-publicized adulterous shenanigans not long ago. But he's always the perfect gentleman when the cameras are rolling.
This is a hero? One word.
Puhleeze......
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Poor girl and sorry boys
It really is sad. During the ladies' World Cup soccer competition England had made it all the way to the semi-finals where they faced Japan. And the Brits lost because -- one of their own players accidentally kicked the ball into her own goal??? I pity the girl when she arrives back home in now not so jolly old (soccer crazy) England. Can you imagine how bad she'll be roasted by the media and citizens alike? Maybe she could hook up with Edward Snowden. Neither really did anything wrong, but they could probably sympathize with each other's plights.
An interesting recent article by Doug Ferguson of the AP. He pointed out that after Tiger Woods finished last season ranked #32 -- already quite the fall -- half way through this year Eldrick has tumbled to a bottom-feeding #220. But this is what happens when one shoots more rounds in the 80s than in the 60s and is typically 15-20 shots behind after two rounds in any given tournament. The absolute clincher? According to Ferguson, Tiger's presence at this week's Greenbriar Classic contributes no points -- as in ZERO -- to the strength of the field. Wow.
Idle thought: If Tiger gets any worse, might they consider negative impact numbers in the future when he shows up at a tourney? After all, Woods is already pre-qualified for any tournament he wishes to play in based on his illustrious past. But if he's stinking it up THIS bad at #220, he's taking the place of another higher ranked golfer that might want to play in the tournament. Typically a field is only around 150-160 guys to start with. The PGA might want to re-examine their exemption rules before this gets even more embarrassing.
Joba the Hutt (or is that Mutt?) Chamberlain entered a Detroit Tiger came earlier this evening. He promptly gave up a couple moon shot home runs to Pittsburgh Pirate batters. Granted, the Tigers' bullpen remains in a state of flux. That's one way of putting it. Another would be it's a cluster****. If Tiger starting pitchers can't go deep into games -- they're in trouble. When will the Tigers ever figure out that there's a reason the Yankees gave Chamberlain the boot? Namely, he more closely resembles a batting practice pitcher than a reliable reliever. Mediocre fastballs and hanging breaking pitches over the middle of the plate are a recipe for diaster. Crack. There goes another one.
Know what's really odd? The Tigers considered Chamberlain a bargain at a measly million bucks a year. By today's standards that's cheap. It's also the reason ticket prices have become outrageous and you have to pay 10 bucks for a nickel's worth of cheap beer. Want to go to a game with the average family of four and enjoy yourselves while partaking in a bit of food and drink? Might have to skip a house payment. Decisions, decisions.
Then again, it's a bargain when one considers Justin Verlander. He's being paid a whopping $28,000,000 this year. It's almost half over and the fastball flakes man has yet to win a single game. There's ridiculous, absurd, preposterous, and even mind-boggling. What comes after mind-boggling? Beats me, but whatever it is, if you're going to games you're paying for it.
Idle thought II: The next time one of your local baseball reporters tells you this or that player was a bargain at a mere few million -- send them an email and ask them how much they have to pay to go watch the games.
Between the British futbol player, Tiger Woods, Joba Chamberlain, and financial albatrosses such as Verlander, tis a sorry state of affairs indeed.
An interesting recent article by Doug Ferguson of the AP. He pointed out that after Tiger Woods finished last season ranked #32 -- already quite the fall -- half way through this year Eldrick has tumbled to a bottom-feeding #220. But this is what happens when one shoots more rounds in the 80s than in the 60s and is typically 15-20 shots behind after two rounds in any given tournament. The absolute clincher? According to Ferguson, Tiger's presence at this week's Greenbriar Classic contributes no points -- as in ZERO -- to the strength of the field. Wow.
Idle thought: If Tiger gets any worse, might they consider negative impact numbers in the future when he shows up at a tourney? After all, Woods is already pre-qualified for any tournament he wishes to play in based on his illustrious past. But if he's stinking it up THIS bad at #220, he's taking the place of another higher ranked golfer that might want to play in the tournament. Typically a field is only around 150-160 guys to start with. The PGA might want to re-examine their exemption rules before this gets even more embarrassing.
Joba the Hutt (or is that Mutt?) Chamberlain entered a Detroit Tiger came earlier this evening. He promptly gave up a couple moon shot home runs to Pittsburgh Pirate batters. Granted, the Tigers' bullpen remains in a state of flux. That's one way of putting it. Another would be it's a cluster****. If Tiger starting pitchers can't go deep into games -- they're in trouble. When will the Tigers ever figure out that there's a reason the Yankees gave Chamberlain the boot? Namely, he more closely resembles a batting practice pitcher than a reliable reliever. Mediocre fastballs and hanging breaking pitches over the middle of the plate are a recipe for diaster. Crack. There goes another one.
Know what's really odd? The Tigers considered Chamberlain a bargain at a measly million bucks a year. By today's standards that's cheap. It's also the reason ticket prices have become outrageous and you have to pay 10 bucks for a nickel's worth of cheap beer. Want to go to a game with the average family of four and enjoy yourselves while partaking in a bit of food and drink? Might have to skip a house payment. Decisions, decisions.
Then again, it's a bargain when one considers Justin Verlander. He's being paid a whopping $28,000,000 this year. It's almost half over and the fastball flakes man has yet to win a single game. There's ridiculous, absurd, preposterous, and even mind-boggling. What comes after mind-boggling? Beats me, but whatever it is, if you're going to games you're paying for it.
Idle thought II: The next time one of your local baseball reporters tells you this or that player was a bargain at a mere few million -- send them an email and ask them how much they have to pay to go watch the games.
Between the British futbol player, Tiger Woods, Joba Chamberlain, and financial albatrosses such as Verlander, tis a sorry state of affairs indeed.
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