Many constantly wish to debate which was the Greatest Of All Time (GOAT) in any particular sport. If nothing else, it serves as bar room talk and/or fodder for the talking heads on a slow news day.
Recently, we saw the Australian tennis Open conclude. As we know, Serena Williams claimed the ladies' championship and Roger Federer the gentlemen's. Along with their past accomplishments, does that make either of them the GOAT? Maybe.
As the #1 player in the world, Serena was expected to win. Not so for Federer as the #17 seed. Both are roughly the same age, so that's a push, but there's been a huge difference over the years.
On the women's side, Serena has faced far less brutal competition than Federer. In recent times, there has been no lasting figure in women's tennis, other than her sister, to regularly challenge Serena. Not a Martina Navratilova, nor a Monica Seles, or even a Chris Evert from further back to constantly rival her. Look at the Top Ten in women's tennis right now. Besides Serena, 6 spots are taken by Russians or those from former Soviet Republics, two go to Serbs, and the last one is Venus.
Of those non-Williams, none stand out as being top notch good for any length of time. Yes, they and others have had moments of greatness, but always fall back into the pack. They come and they go. In America, few even know their names.
On the other hand, Federer has had to wade through a formidable gauntlet of contenders every time he entered a tournament. Among others, consider Brit Andy Murray, currently #1. Throw in Serb Novac Djokovic, and Canadian Milos Raonic. And we certainly can't discount the presence of Spaniard Rafael Nadal, who has defeated Federer twice as many times as vice versa over the years. These guys have all been out on tour for quite a while.
In short, Federer's had a much tougher row to hoe than Williams has over the years. For him to come roaring back at his age to win yet another major, something he hadn't done in almost five years, was truly astounding. Most had given him up for all but finished. It was reminiscent of Jack Nicklaus winning the Masters at the ripe old age of 46. Nobody saw that coming either.
So are Federer and Williams the GOATS in tennis? After all, they've both won as many major titles as anybody else ever has, but the criteria has been different over the years.
Elsewhere, who are the GOATS indeed? Is it Babe Ruth as a baseball hitter? Ty Cobb maybe? Ted Williams or Pete Rose? Arguments could be made for a lot of guys in different respects. And pitching opens up another whole can of worms.
Many will claim Wayne Gretzky was the GOAT in hockey. But the Great One himself has long maintained it was Gordie Howe. Though Gretzky not only broke, but shattered all Howe's scoring records, their styles of play were vastly different. Each brought something to the table that was better than the other.
How about NASCAR? Is it Jimmie Johnson, seven time Cup champion? Maybe. Then again, it could be Dale Earnhart Sr., who won it as many times, or Richard Petty before him. Truly a tough call.
Golf will forever have the Tiger vs. Jack debate, but Nicklaus appears to have outlasted him in the end. Woods had the greatest decade professional golf has even seen, or likely ever will. But Jack bore the standard of excellence for a quarter century and Tiger's chase for his major record is all but finished. He's not going to get there. And what of Ben Hogan, Bobby Jones, and Sam Snead of yesteryear? Just because they came before the times of most of us shouldn't detract from their greatness in their eras. Those who would use money winnings as a measure of greatness miss the obvious point of how large the purses were (and weren't) in different times. For that matter, Jones never won a dime. He was a life-long amateur never wishing to turn professional. Go figure.
Is the GOAT quarterback Tom Brady? Joe Montana? Somebody else? Should Super Bowl wins matter that much to an individual in a team sport? Dan Marino put up outrageous passing statistics for a very long time but never got a ring. And let's face it. Put Brady or Montana on, say, the Cleveland Browns or Detroit Lions over all those years, and just how good would they have been anyway?
Michael Jordan as the GOAT in basketball? Perhaps. But everything he could do, Lebron James can do today, maybe better. Or was it Wilt Chamberlain? Nobody dominated the game like he did. Bill Russell and all those Boston Celtics titles, anyone?
One thing I know for sure -- my two little toy Yorkie boys are the GOAT of the canine world. At least until I start remembering the ones I had in years past, RIP, who dwell in urns on the mantel above the fireplace. At the time, THEY were the GOAT.
And so it seems to be in the world of sports. Every day we see a new record set of some sort. This is due to the stat geeks looking up things that no sane person would consider. I mean, how earth-shattering is it that this girl here became the first 24 year old from Billings, Montana with a boyfriend named Whozit to hole a 20 foot putt after after eating a 6 egg bacon and cheese omelet for lunch? Or that guy there that ran a sub-four minute mile while whistling Dixie with his shorts on backward, who, BTW, has a great-aunt that once knitted two sweaters in a single day? But dammit, they're both records, which makes them some kind of GOAT.
Even my ex was the GOAT, at least in the early years of our marriage. Then things happened and, well, let's just say I no longer refer to her as such in capital letters.
That GOAT stuff can turn out to be tricky business indeed....
Monday, January 30, 2017
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Idle thoughts and geezers
Idle thought #1. Why does that company keep insisting "we are farmers"? Hey, if I wanted a bushel of corn or a truck load of sugar beets I'd give them a call. But what's that got to do with insurance?
When it came to the finals of the Australian Open, it appeared to be the geezer tournament. Venus Williams -- age 36. Serena Williams -- age 35. Roger Federer -- age 35. Rafael Nadal -- age 30. Wait a second. How did a young pup like Nadal get in there? Somebody card that dude.
Didn't anybody tell these people that pro tennis players are supposed to be washed up by the time they turn 30?
Idle thought #2. But that's not nearly as bad as gymnastics, especially the women's variety. Those poor young lasses are put out to pasture before they're even old enough to vote.
So OK. Serena whupped Venus. Yawn. It will be nice when these two grunters and screamers finally go away.
Idle thought #3. And what is it with that anyway? Why do so many female tennis players have to shriek every time they hit the ball? You don't hear the men doing it.
And Nadal will probably do the same to Federer. How do I know this? Because I'll be rooting for Federer, and that's the kiss of death. That, plus the age difference, and the fact that Nadal is a whopping 23-11 all time against him.
Idle thought #4. Charles Barkley was right. When your best player barely stands 6 feet tall, you're never going to win a championship. Such is the plight of the LA Clippers and guard Chris Paul.
Idle thought #5. Some things are just pitiful, hard to look at even. Exhibit A would be the free-throw attempts by Clipper Deandre Jordan. This dude shoots, if you want to call it that, charity shots like one would expect of Ray Charles or Helen Keller. What's that you say? They were both not only blind, but are now dead? Exactly the point. Did I say it was ugly to watch in action?
Speaking of geezers, 41 year old Tiger Woods is back in the news again. When is he not? At the Farmer's Open mentioned at the top of this article, Wood couldn't even make the cut. Actually, not even close. But that didn't stop the TV folks from force-feeding their audiences another slew of Tiger replays. Hey, what's up with that? Instead of the leaders of the tournament, we get more of Eldrick? The dude hasn't won a tournament in almost 3 years. Tell ya what. Woods might as well run for President, Pope, or Emperor of planet Earth. It doesn't matter what he stands for or how good he is, the legions seem to flock behind him. He was great once, you claim? Sure he was. So was Jack Nicklaus, but he's never going to win another tournament either. Does anybody want to see clip and after clip of Jack's finest moments when they're trying to follow a current tourney? Well then.
Idle thought #6. The Detroit Pistons have thudded into the basement of their division. This should come as a surprise to absolutely nobody. Besides a lack of talent, their management structure is ludicrous. Stan VanGundy is the head coach. Up from him are two -- count em -- two general managers whose duties remain a total mystery. Those two guys report to -- you got it -- Stan VanGundy, the president. Does anybody know who's in charge of what? How screwed up is that? This team has morphed from the Bad Boys to the Sad(sack) Boys.
Not to be outdone is the owner himself, one Tom Gores. He had a perfectly good arena for his team to play in, which the previous owner had paid for out of his own pocket. The Palace of Auburn Hills was, and remains a world class facility. What did Gores do? He dumped $10 million into improvements and upgrades for the Palace, then turned around and moved the team to Detroit. So the updated and completely paid for Palace will now sit empty while Gores and his new-found pal Mike Ilitch -- owner of the Detroit Red Wings -- share a new arena still under construction the Red Wings didn't need either. And the people of Detroit, struggling to make ends meet (in a city struggling to emerge from bankruptcy itself), will get socked with another tax to pay for it. Is it any wonder this clownish franchise finds itself in last place? To boot, the Pistons recently gave their best player, one Andre Drummond, a max contract. Millions and millions of dollars coming out of his ears. He shoots free throws pretty much like Deandre Jordan. These guys are NBA professionals and can't do any better than that? Your average 12 year old, boy or girl, would smoke either of them in a free-throw shooting contest. It's shameful.
Detroit Lions fans are already looking ahead to next year. Well, of COURSE they are. They've been doing the same thing, year after year, for over half a century. Next year will be the one, they say. And the team will no doubt raise ticket prices again, because that's what THEY do. Never mind the Lions haven't won squat since the Eisenhower administration. They know the suckers will pony up again because they...just...don't...know...any...better.
In a way, it's truly laughable but, more than that, it's just sad. How can that many people remain so blissfully ignorant for so long?
Like the wise man, or at least wise guy Mr. T once said -- I pity the fools.
When it came to the finals of the Australian Open, it appeared to be the geezer tournament. Venus Williams -- age 36. Serena Williams -- age 35. Roger Federer -- age 35. Rafael Nadal -- age 30. Wait a second. How did a young pup like Nadal get in there? Somebody card that dude.
Didn't anybody tell these people that pro tennis players are supposed to be washed up by the time they turn 30?
Idle thought #2. But that's not nearly as bad as gymnastics, especially the women's variety. Those poor young lasses are put out to pasture before they're even old enough to vote.
So OK. Serena whupped Venus. Yawn. It will be nice when these two grunters and screamers finally go away.
Idle thought #3. And what is it with that anyway? Why do so many female tennis players have to shriek every time they hit the ball? You don't hear the men doing it.
And Nadal will probably do the same to Federer. How do I know this? Because I'll be rooting for Federer, and that's the kiss of death. That, plus the age difference, and the fact that Nadal is a whopping 23-11 all time against him.
Idle thought #4. Charles Barkley was right. When your best player barely stands 6 feet tall, you're never going to win a championship. Such is the plight of the LA Clippers and guard Chris Paul.
Idle thought #5. Some things are just pitiful, hard to look at even. Exhibit A would be the free-throw attempts by Clipper Deandre Jordan. This dude shoots, if you want to call it that, charity shots like one would expect of Ray Charles or Helen Keller. What's that you say? They were both not only blind, but are now dead? Exactly the point. Did I say it was ugly to watch in action?
Speaking of geezers, 41 year old Tiger Woods is back in the news again. When is he not? At the Farmer's Open mentioned at the top of this article, Wood couldn't even make the cut. Actually, not even close. But that didn't stop the TV folks from force-feeding their audiences another slew of Tiger replays. Hey, what's up with that? Instead of the leaders of the tournament, we get more of Eldrick? The dude hasn't won a tournament in almost 3 years. Tell ya what. Woods might as well run for President, Pope, or Emperor of planet Earth. It doesn't matter what he stands for or how good he is, the legions seem to flock behind him. He was great once, you claim? Sure he was. So was Jack Nicklaus, but he's never going to win another tournament either. Does anybody want to see clip and after clip of Jack's finest moments when they're trying to follow a current tourney? Well then.
Idle thought #6. The Detroit Pistons have thudded into the basement of their division. This should come as a surprise to absolutely nobody. Besides a lack of talent, their management structure is ludicrous. Stan VanGundy is the head coach. Up from him are two -- count em -- two general managers whose duties remain a total mystery. Those two guys report to -- you got it -- Stan VanGundy, the president. Does anybody know who's in charge of what? How screwed up is that? This team has morphed from the Bad Boys to the Sad(sack) Boys.
Not to be outdone is the owner himself, one Tom Gores. He had a perfectly good arena for his team to play in, which the previous owner had paid for out of his own pocket. The Palace of Auburn Hills was, and remains a world class facility. What did Gores do? He dumped $10 million into improvements and upgrades for the Palace, then turned around and moved the team to Detroit. So the updated and completely paid for Palace will now sit empty while Gores and his new-found pal Mike Ilitch -- owner of the Detroit Red Wings -- share a new arena still under construction the Red Wings didn't need either. And the people of Detroit, struggling to make ends meet (in a city struggling to emerge from bankruptcy itself), will get socked with another tax to pay for it. Is it any wonder this clownish franchise finds itself in last place? To boot, the Pistons recently gave their best player, one Andre Drummond, a max contract. Millions and millions of dollars coming out of his ears. He shoots free throws pretty much like Deandre Jordan. These guys are NBA professionals and can't do any better than that? Your average 12 year old, boy or girl, would smoke either of them in a free-throw shooting contest. It's shameful.
Detroit Lions fans are already looking ahead to next year. Well, of COURSE they are. They've been doing the same thing, year after year, for over half a century. Next year will be the one, they say. And the team will no doubt raise ticket prices again, because that's what THEY do. Never mind the Lions haven't won squat since the Eisenhower administration. They know the suckers will pony up again because they...just...don't...know...any...better.
In a way, it's truly laughable but, more than that, it's just sad. How can that many people remain so blissfully ignorant for so long?
Like the wise man, or at least wise guy Mr. T once said -- I pity the fools.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
Yordano Ventura and defying death
On some level, it's sad when anybody dies, even a complete stranger. Yet it's even more tragic when life is snuffed out at an early age. Little children aren't supposed to get cancer and other horrible diseases -- but they do. Fine young men (and women) march off to war and come back in boxes. For various reasons, they and others were denied the chance to ever experience full adulthood and whatever they might have accomplished along the way. Truly sad indeed.
The vast majority fly beneath the public radar, and the grieving is confined to their friends and family. Yet when somebody "famous" passes away, it's newsworthy. Was that person better and/or more deserving than anybody else? Of course not, but such is the nature of our species that we will publicly mourn the loss of a "notable" we never met more than we would the next door neighbor we have known for many years. It's just the way most people are. And everybody's last day is coming -- it's just a matter of when.
However, there are times when we do some stupid things and put our lives at risk unnecessarily. This is particularly common in young males. Yours truly was no exception. Among other crazy stunts, I once rode a motorcycle going 140 MPH, at night, swerving through traffic, with a fellow rider three feet away from me in the same lane. Things come at you pretty fast at 140 and there's not much time to react if something unexpected were to happen, and likely nothing one could do about it anyway. (Heck, helmet or not, blow a tire at a buck forty and you'll probably tumble for a quarter mile breaking every bone in your body). It was funny back then but, by all rights, neither of us probably should have survived to tell about it. Yes, we were experienced riders and knew each other's moves like we did our own, but three words. We were lucky.
Even more so lucky, we're both still around decades later, having been fortunate enough to experience so much more life. Somewhere along the way, I began to be aware of my mortality. I'm not Superman, never was, though I thought so back in the day. It's a miracle I lived through that stunt and a few others. "By the grace of God", for those so inclined -- and I am.
Others weren't so lucky, and their "number" came up. Bang, you're gone. Forever. You shouldn't have done that, whatever it was, and now you're dead. No mulligans.
Yordano Ventura's number came up, innocently enough, while merely driving a car in his native Dominican Republic. Baseball fans knew him as a star pitcher for the Kansas City Royals. He was only 25. Details of the crash remain sketchy (was he drunk?), but he's gone. Could and should he have done something differently? Perhaps. It's no secret that the Dominican Republic is an unsafe place to drive. Other motorists routinely go way too fast, are inebriated, and otherwise ignore traffic laws. Basically, it's a free-for-all on the roads. And after all, Ventura was a multi-millionaire as a professional baseball player. He could have had a qualified driver tool him around in a limo. Then again, unless Ventura was driving extremely recklessly himself, unknown (but he wasn't wearing his seat belt), it's a sad state of affairs when one gets snatched away while performing the mundane task of simply driving their car. But it happens.
This comes not long on the heels of an eerily similar incident in the Dominican which took the life of St. Louis Cardinals outfielder Oscar Taveras, who happened to be a friend of Ventura's. Small world.
Still fresh in the minds of many is the boating accident which claimed the life of Jose Fernandez, a pitcher for the Florida (Miami) Marlins, along with a couple of his friends. Fernandez was only 24.
His case appeared to resemble my motorcycle scenario described above. It was purely reckless, but he didn't escape it intact. Bang. This is not to speak ill of the dead, but Fernandez did a lot of things wrong that wound up sealing their fate. First, they were piloting a boat capable of great speed, at night, in waters they were not familiar with. Obstacles such as rocky reefs lurked in the darkness. They found one. Later on, it would be revealed that Fernandez was far over the legal limit for alcohol consumption and had cocaine in his system. So add it up and what did you have? A young macho male, in a fast toy, who was drunk and high, and didn't know the territory. He likely thought he was the Man of Steel too, like yours truly once did. It was a recipe for disaster which became his last meal indeed. Though this scenario was not as dangerous as, say, playing Russian roulette, nevertheless, when one tempts fate, sometimes they come up on the short end. Suddenly. Long shots occasionally come in.
But what is one supposed to do? Live in a biosphere while perfectly healthy? Life is for exploring and that requires risks. Nothing is completely danger-proof. People get struck by lightning. A tree falls on their house in the middle of the night, or a car crashes into their bedroom as they sleep. Somebody fires a gun a half mile away into the air, and that bullet has to come down somewhere. If it hits you in the head, guess what? Case closed. It's a helluva way to check out, but weird stuff just happens sometimes. It's fate. How many "close calls" have we all experienced in our lifetimes that could have, and sometimes should have ended tragically? Likely a bunch. But if you're reading this, you were one of the lucky ones like myself. Knock on wood, as they say.
Many complain about this and that, and perhaps rightfully so. Life can be hard sometimes. Another way of looking at it is -- every day you wake up is a GOOD day. You can handle whatever comes your way -- somehow.
The people we see in the obituaries had a BAD day.
Enjoy it while you can because, like Yordana Ventura, you never know if a BANG is in your near future. Five seconds before it happened, Ventura likely wouldn't have believed it himself.
May he and the others R.I.P.
It's just sad......
The vast majority fly beneath the public radar, and the grieving is confined to their friends and family. Yet when somebody "famous" passes away, it's newsworthy. Was that person better and/or more deserving than anybody else? Of course not, but such is the nature of our species that we will publicly mourn the loss of a "notable" we never met more than we would the next door neighbor we have known for many years. It's just the way most people are. And everybody's last day is coming -- it's just a matter of when.
However, there are times when we do some stupid things and put our lives at risk unnecessarily. This is particularly common in young males. Yours truly was no exception. Among other crazy stunts, I once rode a motorcycle going 140 MPH, at night, swerving through traffic, with a fellow rider three feet away from me in the same lane. Things come at you pretty fast at 140 and there's not much time to react if something unexpected were to happen, and likely nothing one could do about it anyway. (Heck, helmet or not, blow a tire at a buck forty and you'll probably tumble for a quarter mile breaking every bone in your body). It was funny back then but, by all rights, neither of us probably should have survived to tell about it. Yes, we were experienced riders and knew each other's moves like we did our own, but three words. We were lucky.
Even more so lucky, we're both still around decades later, having been fortunate enough to experience so much more life. Somewhere along the way, I began to be aware of my mortality. I'm not Superman, never was, though I thought so back in the day. It's a miracle I lived through that stunt and a few others. "By the grace of God", for those so inclined -- and I am.
Others weren't so lucky, and their "number" came up. Bang, you're gone. Forever. You shouldn't have done that, whatever it was, and now you're dead. No mulligans.
Yordano Ventura's number came up, innocently enough, while merely driving a car in his native Dominican Republic. Baseball fans knew him as a star pitcher for the Kansas City Royals. He was only 25. Details of the crash remain sketchy (was he drunk?), but he's gone. Could and should he have done something differently? Perhaps. It's no secret that the Dominican Republic is an unsafe place to drive. Other motorists routinely go way too fast, are inebriated, and otherwise ignore traffic laws. Basically, it's a free-for-all on the roads. And after all, Ventura was a multi-millionaire as a professional baseball player. He could have had a qualified driver tool him around in a limo. Then again, unless Ventura was driving extremely recklessly himself, unknown (but he wasn't wearing his seat belt), it's a sad state of affairs when one gets snatched away while performing the mundane task of simply driving their car. But it happens.
This comes not long on the heels of an eerily similar incident in the Dominican which took the life of St. Louis Cardinals outfielder Oscar Taveras, who happened to be a friend of Ventura's. Small world.
Still fresh in the minds of many is the boating accident which claimed the life of Jose Fernandez, a pitcher for the Florida (Miami) Marlins, along with a couple of his friends. Fernandez was only 24.
His case appeared to resemble my motorcycle scenario described above. It was purely reckless, but he didn't escape it intact. Bang. This is not to speak ill of the dead, but Fernandez did a lot of things wrong that wound up sealing their fate. First, they were piloting a boat capable of great speed, at night, in waters they were not familiar with. Obstacles such as rocky reefs lurked in the darkness. They found one. Later on, it would be revealed that Fernandez was far over the legal limit for alcohol consumption and had cocaine in his system. So add it up and what did you have? A young macho male, in a fast toy, who was drunk and high, and didn't know the territory. He likely thought he was the Man of Steel too, like yours truly once did. It was a recipe for disaster which became his last meal indeed. Though this scenario was not as dangerous as, say, playing Russian roulette, nevertheless, when one tempts fate, sometimes they come up on the short end. Suddenly. Long shots occasionally come in.
But what is one supposed to do? Live in a biosphere while perfectly healthy? Life is for exploring and that requires risks. Nothing is completely danger-proof. People get struck by lightning. A tree falls on their house in the middle of the night, or a car crashes into their bedroom as they sleep. Somebody fires a gun a half mile away into the air, and that bullet has to come down somewhere. If it hits you in the head, guess what? Case closed. It's a helluva way to check out, but weird stuff just happens sometimes. It's fate. How many "close calls" have we all experienced in our lifetimes that could have, and sometimes should have ended tragically? Likely a bunch. But if you're reading this, you were one of the lucky ones like myself. Knock on wood, as they say.
Many complain about this and that, and perhaps rightfully so. Life can be hard sometimes. Another way of looking at it is -- every day you wake up is a GOOD day. You can handle whatever comes your way -- somehow.
The people we see in the obituaries had a BAD day.
Enjoy it while you can because, like Yordana Ventura, you never know if a BANG is in your near future. Five seconds before it happened, Ventura likely wouldn't have believed it himself.
May he and the others R.I.P.
It's just sad......
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Tiger mania. Spare us
First it was rather comical. Then, like somebody telling the same joke over and over again, it got to be annoying. Now, it's just downright sad. Pitiful.
That would be those, especially the media, that are attempting once again to resurrect Eldrick Tont Woods, sometimes known as Tiger, to his former godlike status. They,,,just...won't...give...up.
Because Their Highness has -- sound the trumpets -- royally announced that he will enter another golf tournament, the madness has began anew.
Out come the highlights from times long past. Line up the cameras and microphones for "breathtaking" interviews. Trot out the usual gang of "experts", analysts, and other talking heads to get their opinions on such an earthshaking event. No doubt, the 4-letter sports network has gone to Defcon 1. Condition red, all hands on deck, and man the battle stations. Dammit, this is serious stuff.
Or is it?
Woods hasn't even played in an official tournament in over a year and a half.
He hasn't won one in over three.
His last "major" victory was almost a decade ago.
And last but not least, Tiger is currently ranked #663 in the world. That's just not "under the radar" as they say, it's buried deeper than the Marianas trench. To put that in perspective, that means the equivalent of about a dozen complete NFL rosters worth of guys are viewed as being better than him, right down to the third string offensive guards. That's a whole lot of folks. Far more than both houses of Congress combined.
So one could logically ask --- why the insanity over some guy with those credentials, or lack thereof, deciding to play in another tournament?
Perhaps it harkens back to what he once was. There is no doubt whatsoever that once upon a time, Tiger Woods was the greatest golfer in the world. From the late 1990s until about the time Barack Obama was first elected President, Woods put up arguably the best decade of golf ever seen. He was winning seemingly everything. Tournament after tournament. Majors galore. It was only a matter of if, not when, he would surpass Jack Nicklaus's all-time mark.
But then, as we know, his personal life imploded, he was beset by various injuries, and his game basically went from top of the line, to mediocre, to non-existent. A colossal fall of the once so mighty. And long before he was even 40 years old, which he is now. Actually 41. Not geezerish in the world of professional golf, but definitely on the back side of his bell curve.
His chances of winning when thrown in with all the young lions currently on tour would be slim at best. True, guys like Nicklaus won tourneys well into their 40s, and lefty Phil Mickelson still makes some noise once in a while, but for the most part it's a younger man's game.
The competition is a lot more ferocious than in years past. It's not just the established big names like Jason Day and Dustin Johnson, there are scads of players capable of putting together four good rounds to win a tournament. Plus, the young guns from the world over are going to keep on coming. What Woods once did to the established players of his time, as in run roughshod over them, he can now expect to be done to him in return. Sure, the other competitors will give him the proper and respectful lip service but, make no mistake, on the course they'd just as soon beat his brains out.
Then again, there's always the long-shot chance of something totally unexpected happening. See the recent presidential election. So you never know. Could Woods actually pull off the unthinkable, Trump style, and -- gasp -- win something again? It IS theoretically possible. To even begin to try and imagine the aftershocks of such an event is mind-boggling.
First thing that would likely happen is Woods would probably zoom up at least 640 spots in the rankings. They'd find a way to get him in the Top 25, after a single win. The mania would heighten. It's an angry mob out there just waiting for a reason -- any reason -- to go nuts again. Their hero has been out of action long enough, and they're just itching for a chance to get behind him again.
But even such an unlikely win wouldn't put the king back on the throne. No, he would have to do much more than that.
The huge test will come in April. Some little thing called the Masters. If Tiger can stay healthy and be even semi-competitive for the next two months, both far from a given, the golfing eyes of the world will be watching closely. Woods knows the course well and has won there before several times. Might there be the snowflake's chance in the Sahara that he could pull off the unthinkable and capture another green jacket? Thing is, besides all the other stuff he's gone through, Father Time isn't going to cut him any slack any more than he does anybody else. If Tiger's ever going to win again, it has to be soon. So this is likely his best shot.
But if THAT were to happen, it's scary to think what might come next. His groupies would flog themselves in ecstasy in the streets. Talking heads on TV might get so excited they'd spontaneously combust and burst into flames on the air. (Now THAT would be interesting viewing.) All other action on the 4-letter networks would immediately stop, so they could devote round the clock coverage. The endless replay loops would go on for days, weeks, years.
Tiger himself might have to quickly leave Georgia and head west to California, forsaking his Florida home. Why? Because if that sort of thing can come to pass, maybe instead of California one day breaking off and sliding into the Pacific, everything east of it would slide into the Atlantic. That's not supposed to happen either, but who knows?
If a guy can come from #663 all the way back to #1, anything's possible. Actually, Tiger is tied at #663 with a Canadian named Adam Svensson. Both are a mere one thousandth of a point ahead of a South African named Titch Moore. Ever heard of him? Me neither. But he has the dubious distinction of being #666, supposedly the sign of the beast. Woe be it to Tiger if he should happen to fall back such a minuscule amount to claim THAT spot. Yes, he can be a pesky little devil at times, but let's not get carried away here.
Speaking of which, we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves either. Woods is a long, long way from any such lofty status. First he has to make a single cut and there's no guarantees he'll even be capable of that. He could well crash and burn again.
Which in the whole scheme of things might be for the better. Who wants to see so many people beating themselves senseless in public? And though it sounds intriguing, maybe those live exploding heads on TV isn't such a good idea either.
Most of all, America seems to doing fairly OK with four time zones. Zapping it down to one, as in everything east of the Rockies being underwater, would quite likely impose some serious hardship on a lot of folks. A pretty drastic scenario, to say the least.
But for now, is it asking too much that they quit with the Tiger replays from yesteryear already? The guy hasn't done squat in his hopeful comeback yet, and odds are long he ever will. I mean, isn't that a little bit like having to re-watch the inauguration of, say, George W. Bush over and over again? He's still alive and had his day too (strangely enough roughly during the same time Woods did), but it's hardly newsworthy now.
Let's see about him making a cut first......
That would be those, especially the media, that are attempting once again to resurrect Eldrick Tont Woods, sometimes known as Tiger, to his former godlike status. They,,,just...won't...give...up.
Because Their Highness has -- sound the trumpets -- royally announced that he will enter another golf tournament, the madness has began anew.
Out come the highlights from times long past. Line up the cameras and microphones for "breathtaking" interviews. Trot out the usual gang of "experts", analysts, and other talking heads to get their opinions on such an earthshaking event. No doubt, the 4-letter sports network has gone to Defcon 1. Condition red, all hands on deck, and man the battle stations. Dammit, this is serious stuff.
Or is it?
Woods hasn't even played in an official tournament in over a year and a half.
He hasn't won one in over three.
His last "major" victory was almost a decade ago.
And last but not least, Tiger is currently ranked #663 in the world. That's just not "under the radar" as they say, it's buried deeper than the Marianas trench. To put that in perspective, that means the equivalent of about a dozen complete NFL rosters worth of guys are viewed as being better than him, right down to the third string offensive guards. That's a whole lot of folks. Far more than both houses of Congress combined.
So one could logically ask --- why the insanity over some guy with those credentials, or lack thereof, deciding to play in another tournament?
Perhaps it harkens back to what he once was. There is no doubt whatsoever that once upon a time, Tiger Woods was the greatest golfer in the world. From the late 1990s until about the time Barack Obama was first elected President, Woods put up arguably the best decade of golf ever seen. He was winning seemingly everything. Tournament after tournament. Majors galore. It was only a matter of if, not when, he would surpass Jack Nicklaus's all-time mark.
But then, as we know, his personal life imploded, he was beset by various injuries, and his game basically went from top of the line, to mediocre, to non-existent. A colossal fall of the once so mighty. And long before he was even 40 years old, which he is now. Actually 41. Not geezerish in the world of professional golf, but definitely on the back side of his bell curve.
His chances of winning when thrown in with all the young lions currently on tour would be slim at best. True, guys like Nicklaus won tourneys well into their 40s, and lefty Phil Mickelson still makes some noise once in a while, but for the most part it's a younger man's game.
The competition is a lot more ferocious than in years past. It's not just the established big names like Jason Day and Dustin Johnson, there are scads of players capable of putting together four good rounds to win a tournament. Plus, the young guns from the world over are going to keep on coming. What Woods once did to the established players of his time, as in run roughshod over them, he can now expect to be done to him in return. Sure, the other competitors will give him the proper and respectful lip service but, make no mistake, on the course they'd just as soon beat his brains out.
Then again, there's always the long-shot chance of something totally unexpected happening. See the recent presidential election. So you never know. Could Woods actually pull off the unthinkable, Trump style, and -- gasp -- win something again? It IS theoretically possible. To even begin to try and imagine the aftershocks of such an event is mind-boggling.
First thing that would likely happen is Woods would probably zoom up at least 640 spots in the rankings. They'd find a way to get him in the Top 25, after a single win. The mania would heighten. It's an angry mob out there just waiting for a reason -- any reason -- to go nuts again. Their hero has been out of action long enough, and they're just itching for a chance to get behind him again.
But even such an unlikely win wouldn't put the king back on the throne. No, he would have to do much more than that.
The huge test will come in April. Some little thing called the Masters. If Tiger can stay healthy and be even semi-competitive for the next two months, both far from a given, the golfing eyes of the world will be watching closely. Woods knows the course well and has won there before several times. Might there be the snowflake's chance in the Sahara that he could pull off the unthinkable and capture another green jacket? Thing is, besides all the other stuff he's gone through, Father Time isn't going to cut him any slack any more than he does anybody else. If Tiger's ever going to win again, it has to be soon. So this is likely his best shot.
But if THAT were to happen, it's scary to think what might come next. His groupies would flog themselves in ecstasy in the streets. Talking heads on TV might get so excited they'd spontaneously combust and burst into flames on the air. (Now THAT would be interesting viewing.) All other action on the 4-letter networks would immediately stop, so they could devote round the clock coverage. The endless replay loops would go on for days, weeks, years.
Tiger himself might have to quickly leave Georgia and head west to California, forsaking his Florida home. Why? Because if that sort of thing can come to pass, maybe instead of California one day breaking off and sliding into the Pacific, everything east of it would slide into the Atlantic. That's not supposed to happen either, but who knows?
If a guy can come from #663 all the way back to #1, anything's possible. Actually, Tiger is tied at #663 with a Canadian named Adam Svensson. Both are a mere one thousandth of a point ahead of a South African named Titch Moore. Ever heard of him? Me neither. But he has the dubious distinction of being #666, supposedly the sign of the beast. Woe be it to Tiger if he should happen to fall back such a minuscule amount to claim THAT spot. Yes, he can be a pesky little devil at times, but let's not get carried away here.
Speaking of which, we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves either. Woods is a long, long way from any such lofty status. First he has to make a single cut and there's no guarantees he'll even be capable of that. He could well crash and burn again.
Which in the whole scheme of things might be for the better. Who wants to see so many people beating themselves senseless in public? And though it sounds intriguing, maybe those live exploding heads on TV isn't such a good idea either.
Most of all, America seems to doing fairly OK with four time zones. Zapping it down to one, as in everything east of the Rockies being underwater, would quite likely impose some serious hardship on a lot of folks. A pretty drastic scenario, to say the least.
But for now, is it asking too much that they quit with the Tiger replays from yesteryear already? The guy hasn't done squat in his hopeful comeback yet, and odds are long he ever will. I mean, isn't that a little bit like having to re-watch the inauguration of, say, George W. Bush over and over again? He's still alive and had his day too (strangely enough roughly during the same time Woods did), but it's hardly newsworthy now.
Let's see about him making a cut first......
Sunday, January 22, 2017
NFL. You can't win if....
You're the Green Bay Packers and you only force the Atlanta Falcons to punt once in the entire game. Up and down the field they went, scoring galore. Nobody's going to mistake Falcon quarterback Matt Ryan for Tom Brady or Joe Montana, but if you let him throw for 400 yards and 4 TDs, you better put up a bunch of points in return. And how about a banged-up Julio Jones, wide receiver supreme for the Falcons, not only gutting it out, but racking up 170 yards and 2 TDs while shredding your secondary? Not good.
True, Aaron Rodgers and the Pack had been on a roll, winning their last 8 in a row, but there's this little thing called defense that comes in pretty handy once in a while.
Bottom line -- the Packers go home and Atlanta moves on to the Super Bowl. And good for them and the city.
After all, what have they had to celebrate over all the years? Out of 50 Super Bowls, the Falcons made it there just once -- and lost, back in 1999, to the Denver Broncos. That was some guy named Elway's swan song. Out of all those super-duper baseball teams back in the 90s, which featured a lot of future Hall of Famers, the Braves only managed a single World Series championship. Good grief, Atlanta lost its NHL team years ago.
So it's hard to root against anything Atlanta -- although....
Coca Cola is headquartered there. Remember their super-bonehead move a few decades ago? They took the #1 selling soda pop on the market -- and changed the formula!!!! Instead of having its age-old bite, the "new Coke" was a sweet, syrupy, wimpy version. Coke fans everywhere revolted. Finally, the company relented and brought back "Coca-Cola Classic" -- the old stuff. In the meantime, the company had watched its market share get hammered, much to the delight of rival Pepsi. What quietly went unnoticed was the syrupy glop finally disappeared from the market, while the "Classic" was dropped from the original. Now all is back to what it was, but they never have fully recovered to be in the dominant position they once were. Which just goes to show -- once again -- if it ain't broke, don't mess with it. What were they thinking?
It's definitely hard to win if -- you're the Pittsburgh Steelers, and can't seem to score touchdowns. You might get away with it against a team like the Kansas City Chiefs, and they did, by only kicking 6 field goals in an 18-16 playoff victory last week. But KC isn't known for a high octane offense either. They rely mostly on defense, special teams play, and a running game. Quarterback Alex Wilson is OK, but he's not "IT". The Steelers snuck by them -- barely.
But to do the same thing against the high-flying New England Patriots is a whole different can of worms. Besides having the #1 defense, the Pats have #12, a guy named Brady. One way or the other, this Brady character is usually going to account for at least 3 or 4 touchdowns in a game. You can't keep up with just field goals.
True, the Steelers scored an early TD, but then their place kicker immediately missed the point after. It was as if their mood was -- here we go, here we go -- oops -- what the hell was that? And they wouldn't get it into the end zone again until garbage time, already getting blown out by 27 points. Game long since over.
Idle thought: You have to give credit to both these teams. Not a single penalty between them in the entire first half. That's great coaching and player discipline. When's the last time a game featuring the Detroit Lions went more than 2 or 3 minutes without a flag being thrown? Has it ever happened? False starts, offsides, holding, interference, delay of game, it's always something.
Know what must have driven Pittsburgh head coach Mike Tomlin crazy? Two receivers for the Patriots, Chris Hogan and Julian Edelman, caught over 300 yards worth of passes between them. And it's not like they're Jerry Rice and Calvin Megatron Johnson running around out there. Hogan and Edelman are two shifty little white guys, but man, they lit up the Pittsburgh secondary like a pinball machine.
This might be lesson learned time for Tomlin. Recall last week, after defeating the Chiefs, he was filmed referring to the Patriots as "a-holes". This no doubt served as bulletin board fodder for the Pats, as it they needed any more motivation. Note to Tomlin -- yes, they probably all have one -- let's hope it's ONLY one -- scary thought -- but it's probably not a good idea to refer to them in such a way, even if you think it's in private. These days, hardly ANYTHING stays private for long.
After the game, an easy victory for the Pats, there was that Brady guy on the sideline talking to a breathless reporter. He first wanted to say "hi" to his mom and dad. OK. But then he referred to them as beautiful.
Wait a second. His dad is beautiful too? Wow, toss in Giselle and that's some kind of pretty family.
Idle thought: When they get their monthly electric or gas statement, can it be referred to as -- gasp -- the Brady Bill?
At any rate, like the Packers, the Steelers are going home too. Tom Brady marches off to his seventh -- count em -- seventh Super Bowl in quest of victory number 5, which would break the tie he's in with the aforementioned Montana and Terry Bradshaw for the winningest Super Bowl QB ever. Love him or hate him, bet against Brady at your own peril. He most definitely is "IT".
And what a game it should be, if one likes offensive fireworks -- and what fan doesn't? Between Brady and Ryan, with their respective receivers corps, this could boil down to which team has the ball last. In other words, it's hard to imagine this Super Bowl will be a low scoring affair, although one never knows.
Bring it on.....
True, Aaron Rodgers and the Pack had been on a roll, winning their last 8 in a row, but there's this little thing called defense that comes in pretty handy once in a while.
Bottom line -- the Packers go home and Atlanta moves on to the Super Bowl. And good for them and the city.
After all, what have they had to celebrate over all the years? Out of 50 Super Bowls, the Falcons made it there just once -- and lost, back in 1999, to the Denver Broncos. That was some guy named Elway's swan song. Out of all those super-duper baseball teams back in the 90s, which featured a lot of future Hall of Famers, the Braves only managed a single World Series championship. Good grief, Atlanta lost its NHL team years ago.
So it's hard to root against anything Atlanta -- although....
Coca Cola is headquartered there. Remember their super-bonehead move a few decades ago? They took the #1 selling soda pop on the market -- and changed the formula!!!! Instead of having its age-old bite, the "new Coke" was a sweet, syrupy, wimpy version. Coke fans everywhere revolted. Finally, the company relented and brought back "Coca-Cola Classic" -- the old stuff. In the meantime, the company had watched its market share get hammered, much to the delight of rival Pepsi. What quietly went unnoticed was the syrupy glop finally disappeared from the market, while the "Classic" was dropped from the original. Now all is back to what it was, but they never have fully recovered to be in the dominant position they once were. Which just goes to show -- once again -- if it ain't broke, don't mess with it. What were they thinking?
It's definitely hard to win if -- you're the Pittsburgh Steelers, and can't seem to score touchdowns. You might get away with it against a team like the Kansas City Chiefs, and they did, by only kicking 6 field goals in an 18-16 playoff victory last week. But KC isn't known for a high octane offense either. They rely mostly on defense, special teams play, and a running game. Quarterback Alex Wilson is OK, but he's not "IT". The Steelers snuck by them -- barely.
But to do the same thing against the high-flying New England Patriots is a whole different can of worms. Besides having the #1 defense, the Pats have #12, a guy named Brady. One way or the other, this Brady character is usually going to account for at least 3 or 4 touchdowns in a game. You can't keep up with just field goals.
True, the Steelers scored an early TD, but then their place kicker immediately missed the point after. It was as if their mood was -- here we go, here we go -- oops -- what the hell was that? And they wouldn't get it into the end zone again until garbage time, already getting blown out by 27 points. Game long since over.
Idle thought: You have to give credit to both these teams. Not a single penalty between them in the entire first half. That's great coaching and player discipline. When's the last time a game featuring the Detroit Lions went more than 2 or 3 minutes without a flag being thrown? Has it ever happened? False starts, offsides, holding, interference, delay of game, it's always something.
Know what must have driven Pittsburgh head coach Mike Tomlin crazy? Two receivers for the Patriots, Chris Hogan and Julian Edelman, caught over 300 yards worth of passes between them. And it's not like they're Jerry Rice and Calvin Megatron Johnson running around out there. Hogan and Edelman are two shifty little white guys, but man, they lit up the Pittsburgh secondary like a pinball machine.
This might be lesson learned time for Tomlin. Recall last week, after defeating the Chiefs, he was filmed referring to the Patriots as "a-holes". This no doubt served as bulletin board fodder for the Pats, as it they needed any more motivation. Note to Tomlin -- yes, they probably all have one -- let's hope it's ONLY one -- scary thought -- but it's probably not a good idea to refer to them in such a way, even if you think it's in private. These days, hardly ANYTHING stays private for long.
After the game, an easy victory for the Pats, there was that Brady guy on the sideline talking to a breathless reporter. He first wanted to say "hi" to his mom and dad. OK. But then he referred to them as beautiful.
Wait a second. His dad is beautiful too? Wow, toss in Giselle and that's some kind of pretty family.
Idle thought: When they get their monthly electric or gas statement, can it be referred to as -- gasp -- the Brady Bill?
At any rate, like the Packers, the Steelers are going home too. Tom Brady marches off to his seventh -- count em -- seventh Super Bowl in quest of victory number 5, which would break the tie he's in with the aforementioned Montana and Terry Bradshaw for the winningest Super Bowl QB ever. Love him or hate him, bet against Brady at your own peril. He most definitely is "IT".
And what a game it should be, if one likes offensive fireworks -- and what fan doesn't? Between Brady and Ryan, with their respective receivers corps, this could boil down to which team has the ball last. In other words, it's hard to imagine this Super Bowl will be a low scoring affair, although one never knows.
Bring it on.....
Friday, January 20, 2017
Trump's ball, Tigers and Aussies
Don't get yours truly confused with one of those goofy hard-core partisans. I am decidedly not -- but rather quite independent, actually. Nonetheless, we have a new Prez, so I decided to check in on the festivities. Click.
There's an old black dude up on stage, reminiscent of Cab Calloway, trying to get the crowd into it. A dynamite back-up band behind him. And front and center are two dorky looking white boys, in goofy looking matching suits, wearing shades. These are evidently the front "men". They could easily remind one of a couple guys named Jake and Elwood from yesteryear. Hmm. This is starting to look and sound familiar. No sign of Aretha yet and, for obvious reasons, Ray isn't available anymore. But the two boys are blasting away on trumpets. Well, of COURSE they're blowing their own horns. This is in honor of Trump -- right? Would he have it any other way? Wait a second. Their suits are the wrong color. Whoever heard of the "Red Brothers"? OK, enough of that nonsense. Here's hoping for the best in the next four years. Click.
Interesting article in the local paper. The Detroit Tigers are not only rolling into their annual winter bus tour, but pretty much rolling with the same roster they had last year.
Which means they're also likely to roll right back into second place, at best, in the AL Central Division again.
The Cleveland Indians clearly remain the class of the division. They have, arguably, the best starting rotation in all of baseball. A great bullpen, even after fireballer Aroldis Chapman bailed in free agency. Hitters galore. Terrific defense. Team speed, and a manager in Terry Francona that's been there, done that when it comes to winning championships.
And don't sleep on the Kansas City Royals. They could come roaring back as well.
Meanwhile, in the East, the Toronto Blue Jays, Yanks, Bosox, and even Tampa Bay will all likely be contenders. Somebody has to win that division, but a couple of the others will be strong candidates as wild cards for the postseason.
In the West, the Texas Rangers won't have dropped off any. Plus the Houston Astros and Seattle Mariners were in the hunt until the last week of last season. So we'll have a division champ and two more wild card wannabes.
Translation? Like last year, the Tigers could easily also find themselves rolling right back out of the playoffs, given they haven't upgraded their club. It's like musical chairs, with the Tigers being a step slow when the music stops.
Can that be right? The Tigers have a pitching coach named Dubee? Holy "smoke". Does he "weed" out the bad ones? Will the ones with good "stuff" create a "buzz" in town? Does he advocate throwing a lot of "high" hard ones? Sorry.
The Aussie tennis Open has started and the early rounds are underway. Pretty boring stuff. Who cares about tennis tournaments until maybe the quarterfinals, when all the riff raff has been weeded out? Uh oh. How did I get back on weed? Pushing on here....
We'll see the usual assortment of "ovas" from foreign countries. These are typically leggy long haired blondes with perfect teeth. Another distinguishing characteristic is they all have this super annoying habit of shrieking every time they strike a tennis ball. One is left to wonder if they exhibit the same behavior while partaking in their love lives -- if they have any. Scary thought. Maybe. Some guys like that sort of stuff. Either way, thank you Lord for mute buttons and earplugs.
If this tournament is like any other recent tennis major, the American men will have all been eliminated before the serious competition heats up in a couple weeks. Pretty much the women too, with the exception of the Williams sisters. At that, elder Venus, a veritable geezer at 36, has been watching her best years fade into the rear view mirror for some time now. Venus is no longer a threat to win a championship. Perhaps a semi-finalist at best.
Anything Serena does will be trumpeted to the heavens. There's that "trump" thing again. Dammit, it just won't go away. Kidding. But Williams junior is no spring chicken herself, only a year younger than big sis. She could easily get zapped by one the "ovas" or another rising young star somewhere along the way. BTW, she's quite the grunter and screamer herself.
Thing is, and always has been, is if she loses she'll never graciously admit the opponent was just better that day. With Serena, there's always an excuse. Perhaps an upset stomach, or a sore knee, ankle, hip, elbow, pick a body part. Maybe sun spots or another astrological reason why the universe turned against her. It wouldn't be too surprising to hear her somehow blame Putin and those pesky Russians for somehow disrupting her "campaign". (Hmm, that sounds vaguely familiar too.) Anything but owning the reality she got whupped fair and square.
Serena's time in the spotlight is quickly drawing to a close as well. The talented kids from the world over are going to keep on coming and Father Time has yet to make an exception when it comes to aging stars trying to hang around too long.
But the show must go on. Speaking of which, the Packers/Falcons/ NFC and Steelers/Patriots AFC championship contests should both be great games to watch this weekend.
Can't wait. Oh yeah, bring it on......
There's an old black dude up on stage, reminiscent of Cab Calloway, trying to get the crowd into it. A dynamite back-up band behind him. And front and center are two dorky looking white boys, in goofy looking matching suits, wearing shades. These are evidently the front "men". They could easily remind one of a couple guys named Jake and Elwood from yesteryear. Hmm. This is starting to look and sound familiar. No sign of Aretha yet and, for obvious reasons, Ray isn't available anymore. But the two boys are blasting away on trumpets. Well, of COURSE they're blowing their own horns. This is in honor of Trump -- right? Would he have it any other way? Wait a second. Their suits are the wrong color. Whoever heard of the "Red Brothers"? OK, enough of that nonsense. Here's hoping for the best in the next four years. Click.
Interesting article in the local paper. The Detroit Tigers are not only rolling into their annual winter bus tour, but pretty much rolling with the same roster they had last year.
Which means they're also likely to roll right back into second place, at best, in the AL Central Division again.
The Cleveland Indians clearly remain the class of the division. They have, arguably, the best starting rotation in all of baseball. A great bullpen, even after fireballer Aroldis Chapman bailed in free agency. Hitters galore. Terrific defense. Team speed, and a manager in Terry Francona that's been there, done that when it comes to winning championships.
And don't sleep on the Kansas City Royals. They could come roaring back as well.
Meanwhile, in the East, the Toronto Blue Jays, Yanks, Bosox, and even Tampa Bay will all likely be contenders. Somebody has to win that division, but a couple of the others will be strong candidates as wild cards for the postseason.
In the West, the Texas Rangers won't have dropped off any. Plus the Houston Astros and Seattle Mariners were in the hunt until the last week of last season. So we'll have a division champ and two more wild card wannabes.
Translation? Like last year, the Tigers could easily also find themselves rolling right back out of the playoffs, given they haven't upgraded their club. It's like musical chairs, with the Tigers being a step slow when the music stops.
Can that be right? The Tigers have a pitching coach named Dubee? Holy "smoke". Does he "weed" out the bad ones? Will the ones with good "stuff" create a "buzz" in town? Does he advocate throwing a lot of "high" hard ones? Sorry.
The Aussie tennis Open has started and the early rounds are underway. Pretty boring stuff. Who cares about tennis tournaments until maybe the quarterfinals, when all the riff raff has been weeded out? Uh oh. How did I get back on weed? Pushing on here....
We'll see the usual assortment of "ovas" from foreign countries. These are typically leggy long haired blondes with perfect teeth. Another distinguishing characteristic is they all have this super annoying habit of shrieking every time they strike a tennis ball. One is left to wonder if they exhibit the same behavior while partaking in their love lives -- if they have any. Scary thought. Maybe. Some guys like that sort of stuff. Either way, thank you Lord for mute buttons and earplugs.
If this tournament is like any other recent tennis major, the American men will have all been eliminated before the serious competition heats up in a couple weeks. Pretty much the women too, with the exception of the Williams sisters. At that, elder Venus, a veritable geezer at 36, has been watching her best years fade into the rear view mirror for some time now. Venus is no longer a threat to win a championship. Perhaps a semi-finalist at best.
Anything Serena does will be trumpeted to the heavens. There's that "trump" thing again. Dammit, it just won't go away. Kidding. But Williams junior is no spring chicken herself, only a year younger than big sis. She could easily get zapped by one the "ovas" or another rising young star somewhere along the way. BTW, she's quite the grunter and screamer herself.
Thing is, and always has been, is if she loses she'll never graciously admit the opponent was just better that day. With Serena, there's always an excuse. Perhaps an upset stomach, or a sore knee, ankle, hip, elbow, pick a body part. Maybe sun spots or another astrological reason why the universe turned against her. It wouldn't be too surprising to hear her somehow blame Putin and those pesky Russians for somehow disrupting her "campaign". (Hmm, that sounds vaguely familiar too.) Anything but owning the reality she got whupped fair and square.
Serena's time in the spotlight is quickly drawing to a close as well. The talented kids from the world over are going to keep on coming and Father Time has yet to make an exception when it comes to aging stars trying to hang around too long.
But the show must go on. Speaking of which, the Packers/Falcons/ NFC and Steelers/Patriots AFC championship contests should both be great games to watch this weekend.
Can't wait. Oh yeah, bring it on......
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Insurance, UConn, rants
What to do? One insurance company has a lizard as a spokesperson. Another has a duck. Still another boasts an upside down whale in mid-flip. Finally, another has long wanted to sell us a piece of some rock. Hey, I don't want a rock. Many would say I've already got enough of those bouncing around between my ears like lottery balls. I want good coverage at affordable prices. Seems simple enough.
And what happens if one has to make a -- gasp -- claim for a loss or damages? Do we have to attempt to communicate with a lizard, duck, or whale? And BTW, just where are these companies located? I haven't seen an office for any of them in my town. Might they be in Syria? Tibet? Do we have to parachute into a war zone or climb a mountain to collect a check?
UConn's lady hoopsters continue to amaze. They've now won 91 in a row, an all time record in any sport, and there's little to suggest they'll get defeated any time soon. By the time they host #5 South Carolina in a few weeks, Geno's Bambinos will be gunning for #100. And this comes on the heels of a 90 game winning streak that ended just a couple years ago. Let's toss in the last four national championships, with a fifth this year quite likely. This is incredible stuff, the likes of which we will likely never see again.
Thing is, it wasn't supposed to be like this. After last season, UConn graduated its three best players. Not surprisingly, they were taken first, second, and third in the WNBA draft. Coming into this year, they weren't ranked #1. It was said by some that their front line was too small. They didn't have enough depth, and were without a premier point guard. In other words -- vulnerable. Other teams wanted a crack at them in their non-conference schedules. Payback time. But it quickly became apparent any weakness was a mirage. The beast was indeed back and ferocious as ever.
Poor South Florida. They were ranked #20 and supposedly a very good team. Then they went into Storrs, home of the Huskies, and were mauled to the tune of 102-37. A 65 point beatdown? Has that ever even happened before in basketball? For that matter, in their last five games, they've outscored the competition 462-236, almost double. This is an average of about 45 points a game. And you can bet the UConn starters aren't seeing many minutes in the second half of those games. The "bench" gets to play more, hence they get more experience, and better. An ominous sign down the road for any opponents.
Here's a question. Assuming UConn -- like most other college basketball teams -- has an incoming freshmen class of three or four players, and further assuming the five star prep recruits are standing in line for a chance to play there, just how good are the girls that become Geno's chosen few?
Answer. Unbelievably good. Top of the line talent that possesses good character as well, or they wouldn't get picked.
As long as the upperclassers keep taking the newbies under their wings and Geno Auriemma's still there drilling his system into their pretty heads, this thing could keep going on for a long time. How scary is that to the competition?
Uh oh. There's a new "most interesting man in the world". Evidently, the slobber-lipped guy that liked to hang out with flat chested girls that kept mouthing words but never actually speaking, has retired. Or maybe, considering it's a beer commercial, he's on a serious drunk and the ad folks can't find him. If so, that ought to be one dandy hangover if he ever sobers up and resurfaces.
Nevertheless, the new guy is up to similar antics. He's kicking some sort of hard hairy fruit between the long necks of giraffes -- like football field goals going through the goalposts. This is quite the party trick if one happens to live in, say, Congo or Ethiopia. But I'm not at all sure what relevance, if any, it has in the so-called civilized world. You know, where the political leaders are always respectful of one another. Hmm. On second thought..... nevermind.
Football fans know that Pittsburgh Steeler wide receiver Antonio Brown is in hot water. After the team defeated Kansas City in a playoff game, Brown made the mistake of filming head coach Mike Tomlin's (and QB Ben Roethlisberger) post-game speech/rant. This was bad enough in the sacred realm of the locker room. What was much worse is he put it out there on social media for all to see. Though he took it down later, it was too late. It had been captured and has been replayed many times, much to the chagrin of especially Tomlin. He was hot and made no bones about it.
To the press, Tomlin called Brown selfish, inconsiderate, and disrespectful. All true. Further, Tomlin said Brown would be disciplined internally. Fair enough.
But perhaps what he should have said could have gone something like this --- "He's not only disrespectful, etc., etc., he's an idiot. What kind of fool pulls a stunt like that? The Patriots are going to be tough enough to beat at their place, and this lamebrain gives them bulletin board fodder showing me calling them a bunch of a-holes? Tell ya what. While the other players get a day off to rest, Brown's going to be running laps, and more laps. Until he drops. And then some more laps when he finally gets up. I'm going to do my best to sweat that stupid thing right out of him. And if that doesn't work -- he's gone. I have enough problems to deal with and sure don't need a bonehead on the team undercutting what we're trying to accomplish".
Bet that would have got some serious attention.
Yet here's the part nobody seems to mention. When Brown was actually in the process of recording, between players, coaches, and staff there were probably at least 70 people in the room. And not even one of them noticed this?
Maybe it's just yours truly, but that seems a little strange......
And what happens if one has to make a -- gasp -- claim for a loss or damages? Do we have to attempt to communicate with a lizard, duck, or whale? And BTW, just where are these companies located? I haven't seen an office for any of them in my town. Might they be in Syria? Tibet? Do we have to parachute into a war zone or climb a mountain to collect a check?
UConn's lady hoopsters continue to amaze. They've now won 91 in a row, an all time record in any sport, and there's little to suggest they'll get defeated any time soon. By the time they host #5 South Carolina in a few weeks, Geno's Bambinos will be gunning for #100. And this comes on the heels of a 90 game winning streak that ended just a couple years ago. Let's toss in the last four national championships, with a fifth this year quite likely. This is incredible stuff, the likes of which we will likely never see again.
Thing is, it wasn't supposed to be like this. After last season, UConn graduated its three best players. Not surprisingly, they were taken first, second, and third in the WNBA draft. Coming into this year, they weren't ranked #1. It was said by some that their front line was too small. They didn't have enough depth, and were without a premier point guard. In other words -- vulnerable. Other teams wanted a crack at them in their non-conference schedules. Payback time. But it quickly became apparent any weakness was a mirage. The beast was indeed back and ferocious as ever.
Poor South Florida. They were ranked #20 and supposedly a very good team. Then they went into Storrs, home of the Huskies, and were mauled to the tune of 102-37. A 65 point beatdown? Has that ever even happened before in basketball? For that matter, in their last five games, they've outscored the competition 462-236, almost double. This is an average of about 45 points a game. And you can bet the UConn starters aren't seeing many minutes in the second half of those games. The "bench" gets to play more, hence they get more experience, and better. An ominous sign down the road for any opponents.
Here's a question. Assuming UConn -- like most other college basketball teams -- has an incoming freshmen class of three or four players, and further assuming the five star prep recruits are standing in line for a chance to play there, just how good are the girls that become Geno's chosen few?
Answer. Unbelievably good. Top of the line talent that possesses good character as well, or they wouldn't get picked.
As long as the upperclassers keep taking the newbies under their wings and Geno Auriemma's still there drilling his system into their pretty heads, this thing could keep going on for a long time. How scary is that to the competition?
Uh oh. There's a new "most interesting man in the world". Evidently, the slobber-lipped guy that liked to hang out with flat chested girls that kept mouthing words but never actually speaking, has retired. Or maybe, considering it's a beer commercial, he's on a serious drunk and the ad folks can't find him. If so, that ought to be one dandy hangover if he ever sobers up and resurfaces.
Nevertheless, the new guy is up to similar antics. He's kicking some sort of hard hairy fruit between the long necks of giraffes -- like football field goals going through the goalposts. This is quite the party trick if one happens to live in, say, Congo or Ethiopia. But I'm not at all sure what relevance, if any, it has in the so-called civilized world. You know, where the political leaders are always respectful of one another. Hmm. On second thought..... nevermind.
Football fans know that Pittsburgh Steeler wide receiver Antonio Brown is in hot water. After the team defeated Kansas City in a playoff game, Brown made the mistake of filming head coach Mike Tomlin's (and QB Ben Roethlisberger) post-game speech/rant. This was bad enough in the sacred realm of the locker room. What was much worse is he put it out there on social media for all to see. Though he took it down later, it was too late. It had been captured and has been replayed many times, much to the chagrin of especially Tomlin. He was hot and made no bones about it.
To the press, Tomlin called Brown selfish, inconsiderate, and disrespectful. All true. Further, Tomlin said Brown would be disciplined internally. Fair enough.
But perhaps what he should have said could have gone something like this --- "He's not only disrespectful, etc., etc., he's an idiot. What kind of fool pulls a stunt like that? The Patriots are going to be tough enough to beat at their place, and this lamebrain gives them bulletin board fodder showing me calling them a bunch of a-holes? Tell ya what. While the other players get a day off to rest, Brown's going to be running laps, and more laps. Until he drops. And then some more laps when he finally gets up. I'm going to do my best to sweat that stupid thing right out of him. And if that doesn't work -- he's gone. I have enough problems to deal with and sure don't need a bonehead on the team undercutting what we're trying to accomplish".
Bet that would have got some serious attention.
Yet here's the part nobody seems to mention. When Brown was actually in the process of recording, between players, coaches, and staff there were probably at least 70 people in the room. And not even one of them noticed this?
Maybe it's just yours truly, but that seems a little strange......
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