Spoofing names

As has been stated in this forum before, it appears there's no endorsement Peyton Manning won't sign on for. Among his bulging portfolio of clients is Nationwide insurance. You've likely seen the latest commercial bit of idiocy.

The Nationwide ad people came up with a little jingle we've often heard Manning sing, hum, whistle, whatever. "Nationwide is on our side". Gee, how clever.

The latest ad shows old chicken neck in a diner where the help is singing the same little seven syllable ditty but with different words. One, from the cook, went -- "Eats the same thing every time".

Boring. Here's a few alternatives I'd love to have seen the help sing.....

Probly wants it comped again.

Cheapskate never leaves a tip.

Why's he gotta show up here?

Man, I wish he'd take a hike.

Or perhaps even -- Check the dork at table six.

On another note, one has to wonder about certain names. Take Tyrod Taylor, QB for the Buffalo Bills. His parents named him Tie-- rod? Like the auto part? Really? What could they possibly have been thinking? I mean, what's next? Will we have a .....

Rackenpinion Roberts?

Glovebox Goldstein?

Windshield Williams?

Airbag Adams? Oh wait, a couple of those were debating on Channel 4 a little while ago.

How about a Camshaft Newton? What say? There's one of those already playing for Carolina? I've seen him in press conferences. That dude has the stupidest looking wardrobe of all time. Somebody needs to tell him that the fashion combination of punk, Bozo, and Al Jolson on acid look is never going to exactly impress a lot of people.

Alas, poor Greg Hardy. A terrific football talent but the man can't seem to stay out of his own way. He's in trouble again. You'd think he would have learned after being convicted of assaulting and threatening to kill his former girlfriend. Most judges tend to frown on such behavior. Besides allegedly being a bad teammate with a terrible work ethic, and a delusional ego problem to boot -- dude thinks he's some sort of sea monster -- go figure -- this time he got popped with possession of a controlled substance. Cocaine. Most law enforcement types and judges don't care much for that either.

Maybe Hardy is one of those guys that is destined for the abyss. Or at least landing in prison. He's gotta know, or at least should, that given his past, the powers that be will be keeping a close eye on him. It's almost like he's in a self-destruct mode.

Idle thought -- could this Hardy be a descendant of the original Oliver Hardy? You know, the black sheep of the family?

Either way, as Ollie used to say to Stanley.....

This is another fine mess you've gotten us into......