Thursday, May 31, 2018

Tiger, Danica, and a --- mattress?

The insanity (sometimes known as Tiger Woods hero-worship) goes on.

Being the good little sports junkie I am, naturally I flipped to the Golf Channel to check out the Memorial -- Jack's tournament. Most of the big names were there.

But something was out of place. Where were all the Tiger Woods highlights? Then I found out he'd already finished his round, at pedestrian even par.

After just one round, Eldrick Tont found himself 7 seven shots out of the lead and mired in forty-some place. Sounded about right. Unless he picks it up in the second round, unlikely, he'll miss the cut -- again. Yawn.

Wait a second -- there it was. The evidently mandatory Tiger interview. No matter how far back he is, Eldrick will always get his face time.

What is it with these people? Woods hasn't won squat in many years, so why do they still insist on championing what is becoming more and more of a lost cause every day? Yes, he had his run of greatness, probably the most dominant decade of golf in history.

But it's over. Get used to it. While they're wasting air time on Tiger, they're missing out on the action of better players still on the course.

And now a word from our sponsors.

Didn't catch the brand name, but one ad definitely made me sit up straight in amazement.

$700 off the usual price, and free financing for 36 months.

For a --- gulp --- MATTRESS?

Just how much does that thing normally cost? The terms listed two lines above sound more like something you'd hear regarding purchasing a brand new car or truck. Not a freaking mattress.

For whatever price it is, that thing better not only be comfortable and therapeutic, it should be able to mow the lawn, go grocery shopping, and clean the house.

Back to business.

Speaking of misguided hype, unless one was in a coma, they knew that Danica Patrick was returning to the Indy 500, for a "swan song" race. So what happened? Exactly what was expected to happen of  the one-woman demolition derby. She kissed the wall about a third of the way through.

The reason for her latest demise was officially listed as "contact". Evidently, the politically correct police have done away with the word "crash" as well. But crash she did. Chalk up another half a million bucks in wasted racing machinery. What's she up to now? 40-50 million worth over the years -- while not winning anything?

Finally -- mercifully -- she has decided to retire. The glorious Ms. P can gallop off into the sunset and the poor folks that got stuck with the tabs for making all those world-class racing cars can breathe a huge sigh of relief. The mega cha-ching girl is no more.

Here's hoping she doesn't wreck the horse.


Sunday, May 27, 2018

Celtics choke away Game Seven

The usual tripe was on full display after the game. See Lebron James put in a "super-human" effort. See the Cavs "clamp down" defensively on the Celtics. See Cleveland "rise to the occasion" -- again. See them overcome the loss of Kevin Love in "heroic fashion". Blah, blah, blah, in politically correct speech.

All of which can be summed up in one word.

Horsepuckey.

The Cavaliers didn't "win" this game, the Celtics blew it. Big time.

Bad shooting? They couldn't throw it in the ocean. For such a sharp-shooting team all year, either they went stone cold, temporarily blind, or simply choked.

How else to explain brick, after brick, after brick? That were wide-open shots?

What did they shoot? Four for forty-some from the 3-point line? That's not going to get it done. Ever.

Hey, when an NBA team can't even score 80 points on their home court, they're SUPPOSED to lose.

So OK, congrats to the Cavaliers on making it back to the NBA Finals, and James continuing his streak regarding same.

But anybody that says Cleveland deserved to win this game is vastly mistaken. Boston absolutely choked it away. They deserved to lose -- and did -- in spectacularly bad fashion.

Period.

And they know it too.

Friday, May 25, 2018

The NFL and the anthem. It's so stupid

As NFL fans (and even those that aren't, due to the media blitz) know, the league has recently adopted a policy whereby the players will be required to stand for the national anthem -- if on the field -- but have the option of staying in the locker room if they don't agree with this mandate.

And you know what? It's just stupid, from top to bottom.

Let's count a few ways.

Does anybody seriously doubt the fans in attendance and, more importantly, the TV cameras won't zoom into who's on the sideline -- or not -- before the game when the anthem is played?

Put another way, this will give the TV announcers even MORE fodder to talk about, as they rattle off the names of who's on the field, and who's not.

Hence, the hordes of reporters will seek out the players, particularly those that stayed in the locker rooms, for post-game interviews, giving them an even BIGGER forum than they previously had to spout off about their beefs regarding "social injustices". Before, when no such policy was in place, when the game was over, all parties pretty much packed up their stuff and moved on. This is an improvement?

Some claim the new policy was to appease President Donald Trump. Anybody that believes that is an idiot.

The NFL and the 30 franchise owners don't care what the Donald thinks. They care about the bottom line -- see money. Whatever policy they can put in place to stop the recent bleeding (ratings) and maximize revenues is the one they're going to go for. Period. Who's kidding who?

The "poll" numbers get even more stupid.

OK, white people support this latest plan by roughly a 5-3 ratio. NFL fans, particularly those that actually attend games -- which are overwhelming white -- support it by an even larger margin.

No surprise there. Football fans (and most owners -- also white) have long been quite the patriotic bunch. We wouldn't see pre-game military color guards, giant US flags covering the field, and fighter-jet fly-overs unless this were the case. And good for them, if that's what yanks their crank. To each their own.

But it's also hardly surprising black people are likewise overwhelmingly against the same policy. HELLO, it is those very same people that had/have the beef in the first place.

Hispanics check in on the patriotic side. Of course they do. Given other recent "policies", many of them will do anything to appease Uncle Sam, lest they be detained and/or deported. You don't want to stand out in a "bad" way if you're in this position.

Yet taken as a whole, whites in America outnumber both blacks and Hispanics by a significant margin. So add it all up and the poll is skewed in the first place.

But here's the kicker. Roughly 70% of all NFL players are black. And they didn't get consulted regarding Roger Goodell's latest mandate, nor did the Players' Union. If you want peace and harmony, it's usually better when management sits down and works out some sort of compromise with their union counterparts, rather than hammering them with an edict from on-high.

Yes, the billionaires can force-feed the (mostly) millionaires such rules of behavior, but it doesn't solve anything. In fact, it might well make matters worse, due to resentment for the above-stated reason.

For now, the NFL, and many people, think this little "problem" has been put to rest, once and for all.

They couldn't be more wrong. Instead of dodging a bullet, the league, with the owners' sort-of approval has merely shot themselves in the foot.

[BTW, the league claiming the owners voted unanimously to adopt said rule rings about as true as your average Trumpism. A formal vote wasn't even taken, and a few owners are already going "rogue".]

Oh yeah, this is going to be a much BIGGER story this season than it has in the recent past, since Colin Kaepernick first took a knee.

Thing is, objectively speaking, who really gives a rat's behind whether jocks stand, kneel, or play with their smart phones while eating a Big Mac during the national anthem?

Hey, the US flag is a piece of cloth with a design, nothing more. And the anthem is a song with lyrics, nothing more.

[Also BTW, Francis Scott Key, generally given credit for composing the American national anthem -- did no such thing. He wrote a poem while watching the bombardment of Fort McHenry during the War of 1812. He was a poet, not a musical composer. The actual tune wasn't coupled with his verses until much later.]

One can dutifully worship them, or not. Since when is this anybody else's business? It doesn't cost them anything or put more money in their pocket either way. It's when you try to dictate the (lawful) behavior of others that problems arise.

[Personally, when I've been at various events, and that's in the hundreds, watching games over the years -- I've always stood and put my hand over my heart when the anthem was played. But that's just me. If others thought or acted differently, why should I care? It was none of my damn business, hence, who gives a rip?]

And that's all this whole sordid affair has been about in the first place.

Control of the masses, even over the minutest of things.

And it won't work anymore. At least not with people who can think for themselves and refuse to be led around like lemmings.

To even attempt it is just, well.... look back up at the title of this post.



Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Ryan Hollins and the clueless factor

I must admit I had no idea who Ryan Hollins was when he showed up on the ESPN Jalen and Jacoby show. He was filling in for Jalen Rose, who was "indisposed". Of course he was. Dear Rosebud was on another network (Turner) schmoozing it up with Paul Pierce and Chauncey Billups, Probably for more do-re-mi, (moonlighting) while collecting his ESPN paycheck as well. Nice work if you can get it.

So I looked him up. Turns out, Hollins used to play a little roundball himself. Heavy on the "little". Good enough out of high school to get to UCLA, where he'd put up yawnish stats, and good enough to be drafted at the tail end by an NBA team. He bounced around from team to team, pretty much the last guy on the bench, surprising given he's 7 feet tall, and finally wound up playing overseas for Bologna, or was that Pastrami? Pepperoni United? I dunno, but I think it was in Italy somewhere. Let's just say the good Mr. Hollins didn't exactly become a household name due to his basketball skills.

So there he was, front and center, filling in for Jalen.

And Hollins (who mysteriously enough could pass for an older version of Klay Thompson) was in full-blown James Harden worship. When I say older version of KT, I'm referring to the edition we might see if KT the elder had somehow stumbled into a meth house and partaken of the goods. Those overly blinky eyes, twitches, faltering speech, and dazed grin somehow seem to fit a certain "profile".

Of course, James Harden himself could easily be confused with a younger version of Grady from the Sanford and Son TV series of old.

Nonetheless, Hollins attempted to explain why the Houston Rockets came back to win Game 4 in the NBA's Western Conference final against the Golden State Warriors -- at GS. Breaking their long home court winning streak.

It was all Harden's doing, quoth Hollins. See King James (the Houston guy, not the Lebron Buckeye dude) play some defense (for a change).

See James make a couple steals.
See James run up and down the court (hustle).
See James inspire his teammates by his overall effort.
See James single-handedly propel the Rockets to an improbable win.
All hail His Highness, James Harden, rambled Hollins.

To all of which I have an immediate three word response.

Shut up, fool.

Harden didn't win that game. The Warriors choked it away.

My evidence? When you've got three of the best shooters on the planet (namely Steph Curry, the afore-mentioned Klay Thompson, and Kevin Durant), and they go 2 for 15, including 0 for 6 behind the 3-point line in the fourth quarter, thereby totally blowing what was a 10 point lead at home, some dude on the other team had nothing to do with it.

Even given the Warriors' epic late-game collapse, the Rockets barely, BARELY held on to win by 3 points.

The Dubs couldn't throw it in the ocean in the fourth quarter, and it cost them -- big time. It might wind up being the difference in the series, and a potential championship.

Because now instead of having a commanding 3-1 lead, with the Rockets likely to fold, the series is 2-2, with Houston regaining home court advantage, and all the confidence/momentum.

The moral of the story?

Congrats to Ryan Hollins for picking up another pay check as a fill-in on one the many ESPN yappy shows.

But please spare us the misguided hero-worship when it comes to your boy James Harden.

Because even a nit-wit like yours truly has eyes, a semi-functional brain, and can tell the difference between a heroic effort on one side, and a total choke job on the other.

It wasn't about HIM.

It was about THEM.

A difference.

BIG one.

But this is what happens in a world dominated by political correctness. Only praise is allowed. One mustn't ever be critical of any sports person or any team, at any time, lest the -- horrors -- word police come crashing down on your objective head.

I have a word for that too, but I'm pretty sure my editor wouldn't approve. He's been vewy -- shhh -- kwiet of late, which is a good thing in my Elmer Fuddish world.

Let's just say it rhymes with "fullwit". 







Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Boston Celtics. A mind-boggling stat

Yes, I've been following the NBA playoffs, as would be expected of any true sports junkie/couch tater.

But I'll admit I didn't pay particularly close attention to the most recent game between the Boston Celtics and the Cleveland Cavaliers. Something about flipping back and forth from that to Stanley Cup action, tending to a sick doggie, and my girlfriend going off on me for some perceived slight, that I still don't understand. Multi-tasking obviously isn't one of my strong points.

So I didn't notice it at the time, other than the Celtics appeared to be playing somewhat sloppily.

Until I saw the stat the following day. The Celtics had missed fifteen -- count em -- FIFTEEN dunks and lay-ups during the game?

Wait a second. This is a professional basketball team, arguably one of the best teams in the world. And they missed 15 dunks and lay-ups -- in a single game? Unbelievable.

Such shots are supposed to be "no-brainers", especially at that level.

It would be the equivalent of a world class golfer missing 15 six-inch putts during a single round. A Major League Baseball team dropping 15 routine pop-ups and/or fly balls during a single game. An NHL goalie facing 15 shots and, yep, giving up 15 goals. An NFL place kicker missing 15 extra point attempts in a row.

This...

is...

not...

supposed...

to...

happen.

And even my feeble brain can do the math when it comes to blowing 15 dunks and lay-ups during the course of a basketball game. That's 30 easy points they didn't get.

The Celtics would lose that game by only 9 points.

If they'd made even HALF of the gimmes, that's another 14-16 points and they win.

Sure, you're gonna miss an easy one once in a while, be it a tap-in putt or botching a pop-up, extra point, easy save, etc., but FIFTEEN -- in ONE GAME?

It's got to be just about enough to drive a head coach (Brad Stevens) crazy.

Ah well. Sometimes weird stuff just happens, I guess. Not all of it good.

On the bright side, my little yorkie boy seems to be much better today. He must have got into something bad in the back yard. Squirrel poop, leaves or flowers of a blossoming plant that didn't agree with him -- who knows?

Vegas is in the Stanley Cup Finals. Hurray. I love Vegas. Next to San Fran, my favorite city.

But my significant other is due over again any minute, and I still don't know what she's mad about. Got a feeling I'm going to get more details, though.

Sigh.

Such is life.

But if she tells me I'm a jerk 15 times during the same conversation, we're going to have a problem......








Monday, May 21, 2018

Just when you think you've got if figured out....


WHAM, you don't.

After the Washington Capitals won the first two games AT Tampa Bay in the NHL's eastern conference finals, they should have been a lock -- right?

Not so fast.

Back comes the Lightning to win the next two IN Washington, another at home, and take a 3-2 series lead. Of course, most Washington teams are famous for choking in the post-season, including the Caps, so it followed that Tampa Bay would dust them off in Game Six to complete another epic DC fold.

[And BTW, though the Nationals of Major League Baseball have been loaded with talent in recent years, they can't seem to get out the first round of the playoffs. Don't be surprised if they gag it up again this October.]

But it didn't happen. The Caps would prevail. On to Game Seven. Who will win that? Got a lucky penny?

In the NBA, the Boston Celtics won the first two games at home against the Cleveland Cavaliers. The Beaners have yet to lose at home this post-season, and have home court advantage in the Eastern Conference finals. But they've pretty well stunk it up on the road as well.

Now the Cavs have come back to win Games Three and Four at home, evening the series. Still, they have to win a game at Boston somewhere along the line to get to the Finals.

And you get the feeling they'll do just that. Lebron and Co. will overcome. Maybe. Besides, the Celts are playing without their two best players, namely Gordon Hayward and Kyrie Irving. It's somewhat amazing they've made it THIS far. Kudos to them.

In the West, everybody figured all along it would boil down to Golden State and Houston slugging it out. And so it has.

OK, the Warriors went into Houston and "stole" Game One, thereby gaining home court advantage. It's been a couple years since the Dubs lost a home playoff game, so they should be a lock -- right?

Um, not necessarily.

The Rockets would come back and thump the Warriors to the tune of 22 points worth in Game Two. Twenty two points is a beat down. And Houston had won two out of three from GS during the regular season, and had a better record to boot. So you had to figure the Rockets would have regained their confidence.

Until Game Three, back in Oakland. The Warriors won by FORTY ONE POINTS?  Forget beat down, that's a massacre, a slaughter, where's the "mercy rule" when you need it? The league's "best" team got hammered by 41 points? Oh my. So much for the previous confidence builder. Welcome to the wood shed, Californee style.

But again, ya never know. If the Dubs blast them again like that to take a 3-1 series lead, Houston will probably fold. The pressure on the Rockets to win Game 4, even by the slightest of margins, is enormous.

Yet just when you think you've got THAT figured out, along comes a little blip on the radar. Or maybe not so little after all. Golden State's Andre Iguodala got a knee banged up. No, he isn't considered an "All-Star" like his four teammates Curry, Durant, Thompson, and Green. But he WAS a starter and played a quiet, if quite significant role for the Dubs. Namely, being a premier defender. Iguodala made things very difficult for the likes of Chris Paul and James Harden, depending on which he was guarding as they tried to drive the ball towards the hoop.

While supposedly not the "end of season" type of knee injury, subtracting him from the equation could prove fateful indeed. Remember, two years ago when the Warriors had a commanding 3-1 lead over the Cavs in the Finals, Draymond Green was (rightfully) suspended for Game 5, for his thuggish behavior. The Dubs would lose that game, at home, the tide turned, and the Cavaliers came back from the 3-1 deficit to capture the title.

Don't underestimate the presence, or lack thereof, of Iguodala. If the Rockets can "steal" Game Four in his absence, this series will take on a whole new look. Good for Houston. Not so good for Golden State.

But we'll see. Still got that lucky penny?

Cuz lord knows, just when yours truly thinks he has it figured out, he once again is shown to be clueless.

It never fails.












Saturday, May 19, 2018

It's getting ridiculous when.....

The coverage of the Preakness, horse racing's second leg of the Triple Crown, starts at 5 o'clock and the race itself won't happen until about 7 PM.

What in the world can the talking heads find to yap about for two hours, before a race that takes only about 2 minutes to run?

Are they interviewing the horses, Mr. Ed Style?

I managed to tune in just as the pampered steeds were being loaded into the gates, and a couple minutes later -- presto -- we have a winner. Justify, I think, but don't care.

You also know it's getting ridiculous when the horse-a-holics say this or that "magnificent beast" may have been overworked by running in the Kentucky Derby.

REALLY? That race was two, or was that three weeks ago? What animal under the sun can't get properly rested up over the course of that amount of time? I mean, what else do they have to do but graze, jog at leisure, get bathed and otherwise groomed daily, and pampered at every turn? If a horse is still "gassed" a few weeks after running hard for two minutes, I would humbly submit yon horse might be sneaking Marlboros in the stable at night. At least get him, or her, to an equine lung specialist to check for asthma, or some other ailment, because something is seriously wrong. And they're not supposed to be enjoying the pleasures of the horseflesh with the Grade A, USDA choice mare-babes, just yet, right? A few of those hump-arounds every day could wear out any otherwise healthy male. Including the two-legged ones. Couldn't hurt to check on late night stable hanky-panky either.

Here's a prediction. Yep, Justify has now won both the Derby and the Preakness. But if you looked close at the finish of the latter, he was gassed indeed, and the #8 nag had come from behind and was in the process of blowing by him, but ran out of real estate just before the finish line.

No horse racing aficionado here, but I'm pretty sure the last leg of the Triple Crown, sometimes called the Belmont Stakes, is quite a bit longer than either the Derby or the Preakness.

So yeah, they'll all have a week or three to rest up, but if form holds, look for Justify to fade badly down the stretch in the longer race.

It's like a world-class 100 meter sprinter being totally wiped after a race. Hey, he only ran hard for less than 10 seconds. Are they really that fragile and conditioned to shut down after such a brief spurt of energy and effort?

And those guys get far more fame, glory, and money than marathoners that run 26 -- count em -- TWENTY SIX five minutes miles in a row?

Ridiculous.


Friday, May 18, 2018

Why the NHL, and others, are just wrong

So why does the NATIONAL Hockey League call itself that? What nation are they referring to? Canada? The USA? In a league chock full of Swedes, Russians, Czechs, and miscellaneous others? It's just wrong.

International Hockey League would be more suiting, but that name is already taken -- by a minor league outfit to the NHL. Go figure.

The same applies to the National Basketball Association. Presumably, that refers to the United States. But it's equally loaded up with "foreigners" as well. Should stricter immigration laws be put in place to stem the tide of tall skinny guys with a bunch of tattoos that are really good at putting a basketball through a round orifice? I dunno.

Why do they call it the World Series when only American (plus those pesky Blue Jays from Toronto) are allowed to compete? How do we know a team from the Dominican Republic, Cuba, Mexico, and a few other countries couldn't win the best of seven against the best the Yanks and Canucks have to offer? We don't. The name World Series is just wrong.

On that note, the Little League World Series gets it right, and also wrong. They allow teams the world over to compete, which is right. But they always make sure an American team will be in the Finals, which is highly biased, hence wrong.

In soccer, the title World Cup is appropriate. Any country can compete.

So is the Masters Tournament in golf. You have to have won something before you're even allowed to partake.

NASCAR, the National Association of Stock Car Automobile Racing, is wrong on a couple levels.

First, there's not a "stock" part anywhere on those racing machines.

Second, if it's "National", assuming that means the United States, and given there's not a more "good-ole-boy" sports series anywhere on the planet --- why do they allow Japanese cars (see Toyota) with Japanese motors to compete? Want "national"? KEEP it national, like Fords, Chevies, you know, American cars  What's the problem? It's just wrong.

The Super Bowl is OK in professional football. Nobody would question there's a super amount of money wagered on it every year. Billions. But why do they insist on calling teams like the Jets and Giants being from New York, when they play in New Jersey?

Further, why is it the Dallas Cowboys, decidedly west of the Mississippi River, play in the NFC Eastern Conference, when the Rams, until recently located in St. Louis, hundreds of miles east of Dallas, played in the NFC West?

How come the America girls are so good at the above-mentioned world-class soccer, when their male counterparts stink? The latter couldn't even QUALIFY for the next World Cup because they're that bad? They should hang their heads in shame. Who's been in charge of that rag-tag outfit? Whoever it is -- fire him, or her. Better yet, give them a prominent position in the government, with a hefty raise in pay. Perfect. It's the American way. But it's still wrong.

Why is it that American college head coaches can leave their schools for "greener", and I use that term literally, pastures, and make even more millions of dollars?

But the very kids they recruited to play for them, who make nothing, cannot, lest they have to sit out a year of eligibility? How horribly wrong has that always been?

Final thought. Why, tell me WHY is it that so many neighbors walking their rather large dogs seem to think it's perfectly OK for them to drop a massive land mine in my front yard (the canines, not the homo sapiens -- at least so far), but the doggie police check up on me repeatedly to make sure my two toy yorkies, which never leave the fenced backyard, have their licenses and shots (they always do) up to date?

It just ain't right, I tell ya......











Thursday, May 17, 2018

Tampa Bay/Washington. Anybody home?

This has to be the strangest series in NHL history. Four games into the Eastern Conference Finals, and the visiting team has won them all? Has that ever happened before?

Many thought the Tampa Bay Lightning were Stanley Cup worthy this year. And they might just still be. Though it got a bit difficult to believe after they dropped the first two games of this series -- at home.

Nonetheless, as has been noted in this space before, everything Washington has a chokish air about it. True, the Wizards, though making the NBA playoffs, weren't expected to go far. They didn't.

The Washington Nationals of Major League Baseball have had talent galore for several years, but can't get out of the first round of the playoffs. Choke city.

How many times have the Washington Capitals of the NHL had a superior regular season -- even winning the President's Cup for the best record, and then choked in the playoffs? A few.

Both political parties in Congress, Trump, and the whole lot of the overpaid, clueless and pampered prima donnas in Washington DC, seem to choke every time they're faced with a major issue that will effect the populace. And how many millions of Americans choke, gag, or barf on a daily basis at their all-talk, do-nothing shenanigans?

OK, the Washington Generals, long the foils of the Harlem Globetrotters, were supposed to lose. Kind of like Wile E. Coyote of the old Road Runner cartoons. Or Elmer Fudd hunting that wascally wabbit. It was always written into the scripts. You knew how it was going to turn out, but hopefully got a few laughs along the way.

Not so with the current Washington Capitals. Those guys are good, and this is serious hockey business.

But c'mon. They took the first two games on the road against the favored Tampa Bay Lightning -- only to turn around and lose the next two at home?

This has yet another Washington choke written all over it.














Vegas Golden Knights and long shots

You've got to give it up to some guys, and gals. They're not afraid to put their money out there on long shots, REALLY long shots, in any particular sporting event.

Of course most times they lose.

And they get laughed at by their friends, coworkers, etc., for having placed such a foolish wager in the first place.

How many folks thought the rag-tag American hockey team could knock off the mighty Soviet Red Army back in the 1980 Olympics? Or Joe Willie's Jets defeating the formidable Colts in Super Bowl III? For that matter, go back less than a year. Did anybody you know think the Philadelphia Eagles had a prayer of becoming Super Bowl champions, especially after their starting QB went down? And besting Tom Brady in the Big Dance to do so?

But there were no doubt a few that placed bets on such things. And they hit it big, assuming they had the cajones to wager a sizable amount in the first place.

Sure, most who bet on such long-shots probably write it off as money long gone. Just a fling, for fun, because they can afford it. But ya never know how such things will turn out.

Enter this year's Las Vegas Golden Knights. A first year expansion team in the NHL. Only stocked by players other teams didn't "protect", a few draft choices, and free agents looking for a job, but not finding it elsewhere. Conventional wisdom dictated this would be another rag-tag team indeed.

The Stanley Cup? Get outta here. Those guys? Not a chance.

The odds-makers said so. The Knights were a 150:1 shot when the season started. As long as long shots can get.

But then something strange happened, and kept happening. Those pesky Knights kept winning games, way more than they were supposed to.

And look at them now. In the Western Conference Finals of the Stanley Cup playoffs, and holding a 2-1 series advantage over Winnipeg.

True, they're still six wins away from Lord Stanley's bauble, the Jets are mighty tough themselves, and the winner of the Washington/Tampa Bay series in the East will be no bargain either in the Finals -- if they get there. But they might.

And those folks that had the utter audacity to plop down, say, a C-note on Vegas winning the Cup, no longer look as fool-hardy as they did back in October of last year. They have a very real shot of that Franklin turning into 15 grand. Not exactly Trumpish money, but a decent chunk of change to be sure. $15K can pay for a big part of a kid's college education, or eliminate other debts, such as credit cards. Or a mighty nice down-stroke on a new car. A home improvement project. A year's bar tab. Lots of things.

So here's to those folks that took a flyer on the ultra-long shot Golden Knights before they'd even played their first game.

I hope their bets come in. How can you root against such people?

I wish I'd have been one of them. Just so things would be that much more exciting these days as the NHL playoffs progress.

But I was rooting for Vegas anyway. I love that town.








Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Lebron and the Cavs. Going down

I'd be the first to admit my prognosticating skills aren't exactly top-flight. If I pick em, they're probably going to lose. It's a trait I inherited from my late father. Dear old dad could sure have his "locks", and then watch them crash and burn. It happened every time.

Nonetheless, if Peter King of Sports Illustrated is still considered an "expert" on football winners and losers -- when it's long been obvious he couldn't pick his nose with a power auger -- I shall fearlessly and boldly go where only fools have gone before.

The Cleveland Cavaliers are going down to the Boston Celtics in the NBA Eastern Conference Finals.

Yeah, in Game One, Lebron James had a bad game. A bunch of turnovers, only 15 points, and the Cavs lost by thirteen.

Ah, but the pundits said look out for Game Two. Surely Lebron would, excuse the pun, rebound.

And so he did. Dear LJ racked up a triple-double, pouring in 42 points, and playing stellar defense as well. Teammate Kevin Love chipped in with 20 some points, and the rest of the team appeared to emerge from their recent funk.

And they lost by 13 points -- again.

To a Celtics team severely undermanned with their best two players (Gordon Hayward and Kyrie Irving) out for the season.

That means Cleveland has to win four of the next five games to get past Boston, including two of those being in Beantown -- if it goes that far.

But now the Cavs go back home for Game Three and Four. Can they rally? Maybe.

Game Three will be particularly interesting. You just know the Cavs will play with a collective desperation. All hands on deck, 110% kick-ass mode, and all of that.

Yet the Celts have so far outsmarted and out-hustled the Cavs every which way. Don't be surprised if the trend continues.

The only way Cleveland gets back in this series is with a blow-out win. If it's close, the Beaners will gain even more confidence. And if Boston goes up 3-zip, color it over, and then watch Lebron bail in free agency to parts unknown.

If THAT happens, watch the Cleveland faithful burn his jerseys -- again. Has there ever been a "home-town" athlete that had his jerseys burned in effigy -- twice? Years apart?

That would be breaking new ground, and not in a good way.

No doubt about it, the Cavs better not only defeat the Celts in Game Three, but convincingly.

Else all hell might break loose in the "flake by the lake" -- sometimes known as Cleveland.

I mean, c'mon. The Indians of Major League Baseball, far and away the most talented team in the AL Central, can't seem to get out of their own way. The Browns of the NFL have won one game in the last two years, and recently renewed head coach Hue Jackson's contract? Say what? They lost their NHL Barons team several years ago. And if Lebron James bails -- again -- no telling what the Cleveland masses might do, but it would probably be ugly. Zebra mussels might sprout legs, rise up out of Lake Erie, and take over the whole town. That would be pretty ugly.

Add those all up and it would be just about enough to cause the Pope to go on a jihad. Mother Teresa to self-resurrect and strap on a suicide vest. The Kardashian girls to join a nunnery. Judge Judy to donate her annual $47 million salary -- you read that right -- 47 MILLION to be a shrew as a sham judge -- to charity. And enroll herself in charm school. You know -- REALLY drastic actions.

And for just those reasons, I fervently hope Boston polishes off Cleveland convincingly -- best case scenario a sweep.

Just to see what happens next.

But I picked the Celtics before the series even started.

So something has to go horribly wrong with that.

Dad's watching, I hope, and I wouldn't want to be the black sheep that went against family tradition. As in always getting picks wrong. OMG, heaven forbid any of our clan could actually -- gasp -- pick a winner.

It just wouldn't be fitting somehow.




Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Gambling, and the incredibly arrogant NFL

So the Supreme Court of the United States has voted 6-3, a landslide by their typical sorry lib/con standards, that the federal government (see Congress) was "unconstitutional" when it banned gambling on NFL games at the state level.

Oh boy, the flood gates are now officially wide open. And well they should be. Look for the states to quickly jump on the the golden goose bandwagon. While skimming their take off the top, of course, and taxing the winnings of any lucky bettors. Can't have enough revenue for their politicians to blow on pet projects -- right?

Yet the utter hypocrisy across the entire spectrum is (and has been) so rampant, it's difficult to know where to start.

When I was a kid, early teens, I used to play "football cards" my local barber offered. Bet a buck of my paper route or caddying money, pick four games against the point spread, and win nine bucks if you get them all right. Five games was fifteen bucks. And I never won a single time. But I had a shot and enjoyed it. Illegal? Sure. But nobody cared.

The states have long banned bookies running numbers, typically the equivalent of 3 or 4 number combinations, either "straight" or "boxed". Why? Because they claimed such gambling was addictive. People would go broke, lose their houses, jobs, wind up on the streets, become bank robbers and muggers to support their habits, etc., etc.

But it was perfectly OK for the very same law-abiding citizens to gamble their money away, all of it if they wished -- as long as the state was the bookie. See Keno, various lottos, a bazillion varieties of scratch-off tickets, etc. etc. And of course the 3 and 4 daily number combinations.

A significant difference ---- a bookie would pay $600 on a winning 3-number combination. Here's your dough. Have a nice day.

The state pays $500. And demands you pay taxes on such "winnings". Make it more like $400. Which sounds like the better deal?

One can play a variety of poker games through the state and even more scratch off tickets. They don't care if you go broke -- as long as they get the money.

But don't you dare have a friendly poker game in your house, lest the jack-booted thugs crash down your door and haul the lot of you off to the pokey.

Are you starting to see a familiar thread here?

Now the NFL is in a huff over SCOTUS having the utter audacity to allow same law-abiding citizens the legal right to wager on its games. This is nothing hasn't gone on all along, of course, and been quite legal in the state of Nevada (see Vegas in particular).

Roger Goodell and his minions are of the opinion that such betting will ruin the "integrity" of their game.

One word. Please. If people wanted integrity they wouldn't spend upwards of $10 billion a year going to and watching NFL games, where the whole point seems to be beating the opponents' brains out. And over-priced concessions for slop while there you wouldn't feed your neighbor's dog at home, let alone yourself. And watered down beer. And ridiculous parking prices. All so the fans can be treated to the services of players making multi-millions of dollars, while most couldn't pass a fifth-grade equivalency test given ten tries. This is integrity? Really?

No, it's not about integrity. Never was. It's about control, which equates to cha-chings.

Like politicians, the offices of the professional leagues always, always, ALWAYS, want to control their product. See licensing fees for various paraphernalia. Did I mention cha-ching?

Idle thought.
The United States is currently in the process of doing anything -- ANYTHING -- to keep other "rogue" nations from acquiring nuclear weapons. But guess who the only country in the world is that has actually deployed them against civilian populations? Twice. The hypocrisy is incredible, yet nobody wants to acknowledge it. But I'm getting off-topic. Sorry.

The only thing the NFL, or other sports leagues need to be concerned with is the possible "throwing" of games by the players, if enough pressure, and money, is brought to bear on some of them.

But that possibility has been there all along, and it hasn't happened.

The "infamous" Chicago Black Sox of 1919, you say? Shoeless Joe Jackson and that bunch of alleged shysters on the take?

True enough, Commissioner Kenessee Mountain Landis banned the lot of them baseball.

Thing is, after a thorough review of the evidence, and more importantly lack thereof, a federal court totally exonerated Jackson and his teammates years later. They were innocent all along -- but nobody ever bothered making that public. The scandal was much more "fun", the screwed players notwithstanding. Look it up if you don't believe me. Worse, Jackson, an obvious choice, remains out of the Hall of Fame to this day. In the last century, no Commissioner has had the guts to right this obvious wrong.

And now Roger Goodell thinks he can barge into the rooms across the country and have his way with what should have been legal all along.

He's even blustered to the effect that the mighty NFL will lobby Congress to pass yet another stupid bill, so the league can stay on top of the hordes of degenerate losers and menaces to society that will no doubt result if otherwise law-abiding citizens can legally make a wager on an NFL game if they please. Yet in all probability, any new law they came up with would go against the new precedent handed down by SCOTUS. So what's the point? Another years-long legal battle, only to have their misguided handiwork struck down again? Does that make sense?

But it's been there all along. I did it when I was 13-14 at the barbershop, hustling on the pinball machine in the back room. Didn't want to mess with the kid back in those days. I'd take your money. Tim the barber would even dare some of his customers -- while secretly backing me for higher stakes I couldn't afford -- for a cut -- to try. Quite the mini-racket and fond memories. Had to let them win once in a while to keep them coming back. But I was a far cry from a professional athlete in a league such as the NFL. A difference -- big one.

In the meantime, over all the years, I've rarely gambled on anything. Kind of grew out of it, I guess. Don't play the rip-off state stuff out of principle. Was never any good at poker. Maybe put up a Jackson on a football game here and there -- but only if somebody else goads me into it. And it's not like I can't afford to lose. I can. Through some shrewd., OK maybe lucky, investments over the years, I'm fairly comfortable. Hardly Trumpish, but an equally long ways from a dumpster.

But Roger Goodell and the NFL need to shut up.

Let the states, and far more importantly, the PEOPLE be the judge of whether they want to bet or not on his precious, and I dare say barbaric games.

In sum, what the NFL is telling the people is this --

You're too stupid to know what is good for you, so we'll decide what's best. Trust us.

Excuse me, but I would strongly disagree with that opinion.






















Monday, May 14, 2018

Welcome to the conference finals Houston Rockets

And they just got a big dose of reality. This ain't the regular season.

True enough the Rockets took two out of three from the Golden State Warriors during the regular season.

Also true enough they wound up with the best record in the NBA, thereby guaranteeing home-court advantage throughout the playoffs.

But Golden State has obviously been there, done that in the playoffs in recent years, having won two of the last three championships. They likely would have won the other two years ago had not loose cannon Draymond Green finally been righteously suspended for his thuggish on-court tactics during that Finals against the Cleveland Cavaliers. At the time, the Dubs were ahead in the series 3-1 with Game Five at home. It should have been over. But Lebron and Co. exploited the absence of dear Draymond to win a game at the Oracle, and the tide turned. Back to Cleveland for a blowout Game Six, and hey, anything can happen in a Game Seven. It did, and the Cavs walked away with an unlikely title. Heckuva job, Draymond. Though he'd never admit it, he cost his team, city, ownership, and fans a championship because he couldn't behave himself. It was on YOU chump, but he's too dense and cocky to realize it.

And it might just be that while Houston has been so busy busting their butts all season trying to prove something, the Warriors have been laying back and pacing themselves knowing they have what it takes when the grind of the playoffs starts.

Put another way, the Warriors have four All-Stars on their team. The Rockets two. And they're both guards, little guys. And neither has been there, done that before.

On to the Western Conference Finals, and Houston hosting Golden State. In Game One, the Warriors thumped them in their own building to retake home court advantage.

And if the Rockets somehow don't manage to win Game Two, at home, they can kiss this season good-bye. No way are they beating Golden State four out of five with three of them being in Oakland. Ain't gonna happen.

So we'll see.

No pressure.



The scary thing about Boston

When it comes to fans, most would agree that a lot of professional sports towns share something in common. Either you rabidly root for them -- or hate their guts. Boston is such a town. As is New York, Los Angeles, and no doubt Dallas.

But the Boston Celtics, those lovable (or hate-able) shamrock guys are doing something quite amazing these days.

They've advanced to the NBA Eastern Conference Finals and put a gawd-awful beat-down on the Cleveland Cavaliers in Game One. By any standards, a 25 point margin of victory is a blow-out.

True, in the first round of the playoffs the Milwaukee Bucks took those same Celtics to the full seven games, before Boston handily dispatched them in the finale.

And the Philadephia 76ers, a young and upcoming team, put up a valiant fight in Round Two, before succumbing. In a couple years, look out for Philly, if they can stay healthy -- no given -- and keep the team together.

Also true is few expect whoever comes out of the East, be it the Beaners or the Northeastern Buckeyes, to stand much of a chance against the winner of the Golden State/Houston match-up currently underway in the West. But ya never know. Stranger things have happened -- I think. Who saw the Eagles even getting to the Super Bowl last February, let alone taking the Patriots to the woodshed?

Thing is. the Boston Celtics are doing this while severely undermanned. As in missing their two best players -- namely Gordon Hayward and Kyrie Irving. The former an All-Star caliber center/forward -- big man -- and the latter arguably one of the best three point guards in the league. Throw in they're also playing without the services of lesser known Daniel Theis and Shane Larkin -- significant role players -- and they're down to an eight man rotation. And they blew out Lebron and Co. by 25?

It leaves one to wonder just how good the Celtics will be when the likes of Hayward, Irving, and Co. return to the line-up next year.

Yeah, I get it. Sometimes "chemistry" can be a tricky thing. Putting terrific players back into an already successful mix might just upset the proverbial apple cart.

But hey, if you're a Celtics fan, I'm guessing you'd be more than happy to take your chances WITH these guys than WITHOUT them.

And if ever there was a head coach that can make it work, it's whip-smart Brad Stevens. A brilliant hire by GM Danny Ainge.

Of course, time will tell, but the future of the Boston Celtics, again assuming they can stay healthy, would appear quite bright indeed.

Lebron is showing signs of his age in Cleveland. He's even admitted to being "burnt". And the rest of the team around him has been eroding. It's only a matter of time, likely not too long, before the Cavs go into a downward spiral

And yes, Golden State and Houston look to be formidable for the next few years, but only one of them can make it into the Finals every year. Maybe the Warriors will get complacent. Or the Rockets, which depend almost entirely on guard play from James Hardin and Chris Paul, and an offense that apparently has no set plays -- pretty much ad-lib street ball at its finest -- will finally be exposed for what they are. A stretch? Maybe.

But the Boston Celtics have been built to last. And they could be scary in the next few years.

Just sayin'......






Sunday, May 13, 2018

Danica and Tiger. Wrecking machines

It's difficult to recall any pair of "sports" figures that have been bigger media darlings than Danica Patrick and Tiger Woods. For at least a couple decades, they've been trumpeted to the heavens.

It's like the media wants them to win. They NEED them to win. And they expect the public to follow suit. In many cases, they have. Nobody knows why exactly, but Danica being a woman, sort of, in the typically male-dominated sport of auto racing, and Eldrick Tont being a black man, sort of, in the world of golf long dominated by white guys, might have something to do with it.

At any rate, any little excuse or mini-highlight will set the media off again regarding this dynamic duo. A bazillion replays with screaming announcers is always just a single lap or golf shot away.

See the magnificent Danica, who can't seem to hold onto a boyfriend. Now it's Aaron Rodgers? Really?

See the equally magnificent Tiger, who can't seem to hang onto his latest blond. Your guess is as good as mine who his next "companion" will be.

But they've also been wrecking machines over the years.

In Danica's case, it's difficult to determine just how many race cars she's wrecked over the years, between the Indy car circuit and NASCAR. But a conservative guess of, say 5 a year, over a 20 year period, yields an obvious result.

100 race cars costing upwards of $400,000 a pop comes out to 40 million bucks worth of scrap. While never yielding a single victory, save an obscure race in Japan where most of the top drivers didn't even show up.

And that's just her own cars. How many others has she wiped out with stupid moves during her long path of destruction over the years? Perhaps twice that many? Again, that's a conservative estimate. The actual number is likely quite higher. Nobody keeps track of stats like this in a politically correct world. Only praise is allowed.

At least Tiger had his decade of dominance. Indeed, perhaps the most notable decade golf has ever seen. But that ended a decade ago. Since then, between his personal life imploding -- no surprise -- and various injuries, real or feigned, he's pretty well stunk it up.

Yet we always hear the rumble when either of them is getting close to "competing" again. As the event draws nigh, the rumble increases to a roar.

Behold, Tiger will be back at the Masters Tournament. Alas, he crashed and burned. No big surprise. Just this past week, listen up. Tiger will be entering the Players Tournament, a prestigious event on the PGA tour. At last look, he was 11 shots behind after three rounds, having barely made the cut. The next time a "major" rolls around, the same hype will issue forth from the breathless people that can't seem to get enough of this guy. And he'll disappoint again.

True, he shot an impressive 65 in the third round of the above-mentioned Players Tournament. And of course, the viewing public was force fed a play by play dissection of his round. But Jordan Spieth also shot a 65. No highlights of that. Spieth is a top ten player in the world, and has won a lot of stuff lately. Woods isn't even in the top 300, and hasn't won zip in years. So what gives with that?

But the Indy 500 draws near. Just a couple more weeks until my favorite event kicks off again. Been there many times, always as an infield rat camped out in Turn Four, and never cease to be amazed at how fast those over-grown go-karts are. You can always tell the first-time spectators by their slack-jawed expressions when the cars come around at full speed for the first time.

This supposedly is Danica Patrick's swan-song race before she -- mercifully -- moves on to something else. One can only hope she doesn't cause yet another disaster on the track, but given she's been away from Indy car racing for a decade, the likelihood of her splatting her own car and a few others is probably uncomfortably high. Ah well, what's a few more million bucks in high tech racing equipment turned into instant salvage -- right? Pay particular attention to the pre-race prayer this year -- because the wrecking machine is back.

Tiger Woods seems to be stuck in the twilight zone of golf. No, he's nowhere near good enough anymore to compete with the young guns on the tour. And those guys are going to keep on coming from all over the world. But at the age of 41, he's still nine years away from qualifying for the Geezer Circuit, sometimes known as the Champions Tour. Not sure who sponsors that, but it ought to be AARP.

With any luck, Eldrick Tont Woods will someday fade away as well, ala Danica Patrick. And the sooner the better.

All those "mandatory" interviews after every round he plays have gone beyond boring into the world of pathetic hero worship. Even bordering on outrage, given they take air time away from the array of vastly superior players still playing on the course. I mean c'mon. They don't pay that much attention to losers in any other sport. For that matter, none of those folks WANT to have a camera and microphone stuck in their face after they've been vanquished/humbled -- again. They just want to slink away and mope. But not Tiger. He still thinks he's "King". The truly sorry thing is, the media does too. Even sorrier is so many of the public continue to buy into this nonsense. Hey, the dude's washed up. Has been for years. Get used to it, cuz it ain't gonna get any better. Only worse.

But yep, Danica or not, I wouldn't miss watching the Indy 500 for anything, though I won't be able to attend this year. And I'll miss Gomer, sorry, Jim Nabors belting out his "Back Home In Indiana" tune as well. Great stuff and got me choked up every time.

Nonetheless, here's hoping Little Miss Hissy Fit and Stompy Feets doesn't cause too much carnage in her last go-rounds at 220+ miles per hour. You just know it's coming, like all the other Indy drivers, but they can only pray they don't get caught up in it.

And we can only pray she means it when it comes to retiring from auto-racing.

Twenty years of a one-woman demolition derby is quite sufficient, thank you very much.





















Saturday, May 12, 2018

From the mind of Kobe Bryant. LOL

Sorry, but that very phrase makes me chuckle. As if the former Laker hoops player ranks right up there with Aristotle, Hawking, Einstein, or even Mad magazine writers. You know, the geniuses.

But evidently there are those that think Kobe Bean is some sort of mental heavyweight, and will hang on his every word of "wisdom". Oops, another bout of uncontrollable laughter has set in.

OK, sorry, better now. But sappies will shell out big bucks to get schooled by THIS guy? REALLY?

Dang. What could be the next big hit? The art of the perfect golf swing by -- Charles Barkley?

How to be the ideal husband by -- Tiger Woods?

The secret to exquisite public rhetoric by -- Shaq?

101 ways to be a he-man by -- Caitlyn Jenner?

No doubt, there are those that would buy into such premises as well. Giggle, choke, snort.

But back to Bryant.

His very name itself makes one wonder about a couple things.

Why would any sane parents give their child the middle name of "Bean"? Was he green when he popped out of the womb? Waxy-looking? Did his daddy have a favorite Pinto he drove?

Kobe beef is a delicacy in Japan. It's been said it can fetch upwards of $300 a pound. But it's still a hunk of beef, which comes from a cow, like all other beef.

So pick any part of a cow and tell me this -- would you pay $300 for a few slices of it? Good grief, prime rib and porterhouse steaks, superior cuts both, can be had for under $10 a pound. And if these "special" cows, raised in a special "prefecture" in Japan, are worth three C-notes a serving -- how much does a whole one cost? A couple million? For a cow? Are they feeding these things Franklins instead of grass or corn to, excuse the pun, beef them up?

Oops. I'm laughing again.

So we've got a ridiculously expensive hunk of meat combined with the name of an average veggie any idiot can grow in their garden -- and now it supposedly has a great mind? Worthy of showering even MORE money on for its latest pearls of wisdom? That used to play basketball, and never heard of a thing called "defense"? And there are folks out there dumb enough to buy into this?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Only in America. The land of opportunity -- and also home of so many mental midgets.

Next thing ya know, the guy currently occupying the Oval Office will come out with a guide to being humble, acting like an adult, and above all, always being truthful. And it will fly off the shelves as a #1 best seller.

Sorry. It's too much.

I'm losing it again.....

Hats off to you, Kobe Bean. You've taken P. T. Barnum's famous quote a giant step further. There's not a sucker born every minute, but millions of them out there already waiting to cough up their hard-earned dough on such insanity. And will love it.

Actually, it's really not funny.

Just sad, pitifully so.

Friday, May 11, 2018

The Matt Patricia debacle

When the current smoke finally clears over the Detroit Lions new head coach once being accused of sexual assault --  and it will -- there will be only two people who know for sure what happened on that "fateful" day way back in 1996. The initial accuser, and Patricia himself. All the rest, now and into the future, will be no more than idle speculation. Did he do it or not? We'll likely never know.

Yes, like most other things these days, many will jump on one side or the other, but it doesn't matter.

Here's what should.

The responsibility for this "mess" rests squarely on the shoulders of the Detroit Lions organization -- hence the Ford family and their minions. This never should have happened. Why?

Because any semi-competent billionaire, which the Fords surely are, should have done more homework before signing Patricia as their latest head coach.

Tell me a billionaire doesn't have enough "juice" to get the FBI to run a thorough background check on a future high profile guy, and I'll tell you I don't believe it. The Fibbies run countless thousands of such checks on various individuals every year. The sexual assault charge, regardless of how long ago it was, and even minus a trial, much less a conviction, would have shown up on their radar in about 5 seconds. The Fords would have at least known about it.

But OK, let's assume the G-men aren't for hire by "private citizens", which they technically should not be. Right.

That's still no excuse. For the price of a few thousand bucks, five figures tops, a drop in the bucket (chump change) to the Fords, any semi-competent private investigator could have done at least a basic background check on his/her computer within no more than a few hours. For a small fee, web sites are even available whereby even the average citizen can type in a name and gain access to a whole slew of background info on them. Age, date and place of birth, places of residence, phone numbers, email address, parents, kids, other relatives, education where and when, marriages, divorces, job history, the whole shooting match of their life. Which also includes any brushes with the law, whether convictions resulted or not. If a private John/Jane Doe citizen can access all that, how much more could a skilled private investigator turn up?

But the Fords/Lions didn't see fit to do that.

So now they're stuck with potential egg on their faces -- again.

True, the Patricia case from so long ago is deader than Jimmy Hoffa. No way will it ever be resurrected again, at least officially. Originally, the accuser refused to testify, citing she didn't want to go through the rigors of a trial, hence the charges were dismissed.

Even if she were to come forward today, having changed her mind, there's two good reasons why it wouldn't make the slightest difference.

One, the statute of limitations has long since run and expired.

And two, even if it hadn't, no judge is going to allow such a he said/she said case to come back alive 22 years later in his/her courtroom. They have better things to do with their always crowded dockets than take up the court's (and potential jurors) time with such a non-starter.

What is somewhat comical is New England Patriots' head coach Bill Belichick stating on the record that he and that organization knew NOTHING about Mattie P's brush with the law.

They still don't know anything about Spygate or Deflategate either. Right. So they highly recommended Patricia to the Lions.

But let's give the Hoodie Man the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he and the Pats DIDN'T know.

After all, Patricia started off his tenure in Foxborough as nothing more than a lowly assistant. Nobody checks out those guys too closely. And he eventually rose through the ranks to defensive coordinator. If he'd been a loyal and and upstanding employee all along, and getting the jobs done very well, who would think to delve into his past? And why would they?

But being a coordinator is a very large step BELOW that of a head coach. The latter are high-profile figures that represent the faces of the franchises, and make millions of dollars more every year to boot.

Hiring a new head coach is a huge deal for any NFL franchise. So one would expect them to have done their due diligence in thoroughly checking him out before inking him to a multi-year contract and introducing him to their fans/public, and media.

But the Lions obviously didn't do that. And now this little PR mess has blown up in their faces.

Hey, nobody expects the doddering old widow Martha Ford to get things right, when even her late husband William was clueless for decades. I mean c'mon. This is the same Martha that hired an "estate manager", you know, a guy who's expertise is in wills and trust funds, to be President of a professional football team. Even HE admitted he was clueless regarding NFL football. But he's still there. It's the Ford way. So were Edsels, Pintos, and those pesky exploding tires a while back. And, of course, the cursed reign of Matt Millen, which took them eight -- count em -- EIGHT years to realize he was even more bumbling and ignorant than they were.

Nevertheless, here's wishing Matt Patricia the best in his tenure with the Detroit Lions. Maybe he can finally be the one that guides the team into some semblance of respectability. But he's facing long odds going in.

The Lions are where head coaches go to die. Many have come and gone, with no shortage of clowns in the mix, but they've all had one thing in common over the decades.

None, not a single one, even in today's world of the merry-go-round of head coaches, has ever gone on to a different head coaching job after travelling through the twilight zone that is the Honolulu blue and silver. A coordinator here and there, but never again trusted as the head field general.

So step right up, Mattie P. Collect your millions from the Fords and try to whip that sorry bunch into some sort of contenders. Good luck with that.

And we'll forgive you for whatever it is you did or didn't do way back in the middle of the Clinton administration. Old Willie got away with a few things two, if memory serves.

But know this will be your last stop.



















Thursday, May 10, 2018

Ohio. Whatzamattuh you?

Don't look now, but when it comes to professional sports teams, the entire state of Ohio seems to have become, shall we say, mentally handicapped.

The Cleveland Indians, loaded with talent and not far removed from a World Series championship -- can't seem to get out of their own way. At last look, they were only a .500 team in, by far, the weakest division in Major League Baseball.

How long has Marvin Lewis been the head coach of the Cincinnati Bengals? 15 years or so? He can't get his team to win a playoff game, let alone compete for the Super Bowl? Fifteen years of this bumbling, losing nonsense and he's still there? What gives?

The Cincinnati Reds are the worst team in MLB -- and it't not even a close call. They stink. So what was their latest move? Trade for a pitcher, one Matt Harvey, who is not only clearly on the decline, but also has an attitude/ego problem. Even though he's getting lit up on the mound like the proverbial pinball machine lately, he still thinks he's great. He's not. He stinks.
What were the Reds thinking of bringing this guy in  -- if they're capable of thinking at all?

Yes, the Cleveland Cavaliers are heading back to the Eastern Conference NBA Finals -- again. Lebron James has become a one-man show, much like he was in his earlier stint with the team. But even if they get by the Boston Celtics to go to the Finals -- no given -- they have little to no chance of beating whoever comes out of the Golden State/Houston series in the West. Forget that.

But they have a duh problem as well, and it's name is Tyronn Lue. Their head coach.

Not long ago dear Ty took a medical leave of absence for mysterious reasons. Maybe because the team wasn't paying any attention to him. Alas, the mental strain of it all. While gone the team went 9-1. Since he came back, they've looked rather ordinary. Besides, it's long appeared as if James is a player/coach and quite capable of running the on-court show.

So here's the question -----

Why are the Cavaliers paying Lue millions of bucks every year when the team has shown they play better without him around? They went from clueless Mike Brown, to even more inept David Blatt, and then hired THIS guy? Who might be next? Judge Judy? Caitlyn Jenner? A Kardashian? Could they be any worse?

It's gets even sadder in Cleveland. Consider the plight of the long woeful Cleveland Browns. Their head coach (Hue Jackson) is a pitiful 1-31 over the last two seasons. ONE AND THIRTY ONE and he hasn't been fired? What other team/town in what other state would put up with such bottom feeding? Hue, Lue, Lew, whatever, it's pitiful.

Straighten up Ohio. Yeah, I know it's pretty much a boring state, especially to drive through, but c'mon, you gotta be able to do better than this in the world of sports.

Keep this up, and next thing ya know, your pro teams -- and coaches -- might be as sorry as your Michigan neighbors to the north.

And how absolutely humiliating would THAT be?










Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Stan Van Gundy fired

And it's about time. Long overdue, actually.

The face of the Detroit Pistons for four miserable years could be summed up in two words -- colossal failure.

It leaves one to wonder about owner Tom Gores sanity. What could he possibly have been thinking when he put the recent hierarchy of the Pistons in place?

Van Gundy was the President of the franchise. Underneath him were two -- count em -- TWO general managers, whose responsibilities, if any, were never clear, other than collecting hefty salaries. And underneath them was the head coach, who was -- you guessed it -- Stan Van Gundy.

So who reported to who? Nobody knew. It was like Abbott and Costello's classic "Who's On First?" comedy routine.

And BTW, the Pistons were terrible for those four years, and don't look like they'll be getting any better any year soon. They gave a max contract to the likes of Andre Drummond? The same sort of dough guys like Kevin Durant and Lebron James make?

The same guy that has no jump shot, is totally ineffective more than 6 feet away from the basket, and shoots free-throws like Stevie Wonder? They crippled themselves in the salary cap world for THAT guy?

Of course, this was the same Tom Gores that grossly overpaid for the team, had a world class venue totally paid for (The Palace in Auburn Hills) by his predecessor (the late William Davidson), located in an easy to get to crime-free location, with major highways right around the corner for convenient transit....

And moved them back to the sorry depths of blight ridden Detroit, into an arena built for a hockey team -- where he has to pay rent? Do you see something wrong with this picture?

But back to Van Gundy, the squat little man that roared, but couldn't seem to figure out how to shave on a regular basis.

It would be pretty tough for Stan to complain about finally being kicked to the curb.

After all, as Prez, he oversaw such things as the draft and free-agent signings. He basically put the roster together.

As head coach, he got to dictate the various strategies used on the court by the players.

Top to bottom, old Stan had his hands all over the franchise.

So when they kept crashing and burning, guess who should be held accountable?

See ya bud. You were way over your head to start with.

And if there was a way to fire the owner, that clueless Gores, Pistons fans would be a whole lot better off. Pick somebody else -- ANYBODY else -- and give him or her a shot at running this once proud franchise.

Because under the likes of Gores and Van Gundy, it's been the proverbial train wreck.



Tuesday, May 8, 2018

The NBA. Now, and down the road

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, the Golden State Warriors will face off with the Houston Rockets in the Western Conference Finals.

The same could be said of the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Boston Celtics in the East.

Utah was a good team, but hardly championship worthy. Same with New Orleans. Toronto always chokes when the playoffs start.

So things are pretty much on schedule.

Who will win between Golden State and Houston? Got a coin and feel lucky?

Same with Boston and Cleveland. True, Lebron James has pretty much put on a one-man show, with little help from his teammates. But the Celtics are playing without their two best players, namely Gordon Heyward and Kyrie Irving.

Whoever emerges from the West looks to be a decided favorite to go on and claim the NBA title.

That's today.

But what about in a couple years?

The Philadelphia 76ers are young and still learning, but loaded with talent. Look for them to be a force. GM Danny Ainge in Boston has done a masterful job stock-piling draft choices, used them wisely, and the Celtics are on their way back too. The East is going to be highly contested at the top in years to come. And Father Time will take his toll on Lebron James eventually, likely soon.

In the West, the same could be said for the Pelicans. They're young and coming. The trio of All-Everythings at Golden State are getting older. No one knows how long Houston can keep the powder keg of egos in check, or going after even bigger free-agent bucks elsewhere down the line. Color the Oklahoma City Thunder toast. It doesn't matter if Russell Westbrook scores 50 points every game. Carmelo Anthony and Paul George are geezers, and none of them could play a lick of defense in the first place.

Of course, this all assumes no major injuries -- see Gordon Heyward above. And further assumes that guys now playing for the paltry sum of, say, $30,000,000 on a competing team won't see the wisdom in making $40,000,000 on a sure loser. Just for the sake of mo money. As if they could spend it all in the first place. Throw in endorsements, which likely double the above figures, and the only jock that comes to mind that could go through such a gigantic pile of money was Iron Mike Tyson. How in the hell do you blow $300 MILLION DOLLARS?

Nonetheless, it is what it is for now and decent competition is going to be on tap for the next few weeks.

Boston/Cleveland --- good matchup.

Same with Houston./Golden State.

Wouldn't bet the farm on any of them.

But in a couple years, look for the landscape to change, perhaps quite drastically.

And maybe that's a good thing.....




Monday, May 7, 2018

Poor Winnipeg. Alas

While I was pretty sure Winnipeg was in Canada somewhere, I didn't know where. Turns out, Canada's a mighty big country. Second largest in the world, I think, behind Russia. The hosers have tons of room to move around.

And it's a pretty safe bet most Canadians are still crazy about hockey. That's cool. Beats soccer or beach volleyball any day.

Lo and behold, Winnipeg is in a province called Manitoba. A little bit north across the border from North Dakota and those dreaded American know-it-alls to the south. And we know how many problems the Yanks have brought upon themselves with their evil and immoral ways.

To the surprise of many, the Winnipeg Jets of the NHL now find themselves in the Western Conference semi-finals, taking on the Nashville Predators.

More than a few pundits thought Nashville might well go on to win the Stanley Cup this year. They're pretty good. (No offense, Tampa Bay).

But the Jets weren't supposed to beat the Preds. OK, after four games the series was tied 2-2. But Nashville, with home-ice advantage, would host Game 5.

Surprise, Winnipeg went into country music land and blitzed the Preds to the tune of 6-2 to take a 3-2 lead in the series. Say what?

Everything was lined up for them to close out the series in Game Six, back in the friendly, and rabid confines of their own arena.

Their fans were certainly ready. See all the hard-cores with their faces painted blue and white chanting and otherwise working themselves into a frenzy before the game started.

Alas, it was not to be.

Those dad-burned hicks from Elvisland made the trek to the great white north, marched into Bell MTS Place -- whatever that means -- home of the Jets -- and promptly stuffed the locals to the tune of 4-zip. Series tied 3-3, and headed back to Nashville for the deciding Game 7. No doubt the Preds will be heavily favored. But ya never know how it might turn out.....

Yet it could be argued the Winnipeg fans had it backwards. Especially those that paid big bucks to attend Game 6 at MTS (Move Those Skates? Make That Save? Many Thousands Snowbound?) Beats me.

Thing is, they all showed up at the arena wearing white. Kinda scary, but could and would have been a lot worse if they'd worn tall pointy hats as well. Talk about cold. Brrr.

The problem? Their team was dressed in blue uniforms that day.

The visiting Predators wore white unis.

How can they expect to be champions when their PR folks can't even seem to get their colors right?

Nonetheless, here's to Winnipeg, and all of Manitoba for that matter. One of these days, I should probably visit there, just to check it out.

But you can bet it won't be in the dead of winter. They can have all that snow and frigid weather, thank you very much -- but nah.

I may be a lot of things -- opinions vary -- but the Abominable Snowman or a polar bear I am decidedly not.

Good luck Jets. You might pull this off yet.

But you blew your big chance in Game 6.

It's gonna be mighty tough in Grand Ole Opry Land to keep the hopes alive.

And hey, at least get the colors right this time, for the few that travel to see a road game.










Sunday, May 6, 2018

Sports executive(s) of the year. Easy call

Without looking them up, do you have the faintest idea who Bill Foley and George McPhee are?

I didn't either, and only came across those names when I Googled the Las Vegas Golden Knights "front office".

Turns out, Foley is the Chairman of the Board, Chief Executive Officer, and Governor of the team.

I didn't know hockey teams HAD a Governor these days. But hey, if the real government can have a few associates to the second assistant deputy to the third under-secretary of some department or other -- and they probably do -- and make a ridiculous salary at the taxpayers expense, while not even knowing what their job is -- what's one more Guv here and there?

George McPhee is the President of Hockey Operations, General Manager, and Alternate Governor, of course. Every Guv needs a lieutenant, and his/her cast of thousands -- or at least a couple dozen. That's in the long-standing book of bureaucracy by-laws somewhere. I think. Somebody has to answer phones, take memos, and make the coffee -- right?

Nonetheless, these guys, and the other management hierarchy of the Las Vegas Golden Knights, deserve mucho kudos indeed. They have done what has heretofore been dang near impossible in the world of major professional sports.

To wit -- put together an "expansion" team that is not only competitive, but has a better than average chance of walking away with Lord Stanley's beloved Cup in the NHL in this, their first year of existence.

Name the sport -- basketball, football, baseball, or hockey. And though all have "expanded" in recent times -- see cha-ching -- all of the "rookies" have had a mighty rough go of it. Pretty much cannon fodder for the established teams in their respective leagues. Until now.

The Vegas Golden Knights were put together the same way. Players that weren't "protected" by other teams in the expansion draft, hence deemed expendable, and a few free agent signings of players looking for a home.

At that, if you were a free agent, and had a choice between playing in, say, the frigid outposts of Edmonton or Calgary, getting bombed with snow in Buffalo, ripped by the press in New York, or plopping down roots in a crime-ridden city like Detroit.......

And then discovered the folks in Vegas wanted you at a more than reasonable salary.....

Throw that in with the 24/7 bright lights, celebrities and show-girls galore, non-stop action, and a bazillion things to do....

Well, which one would YOU choose? You'd have to be nuts NOT to want to go there. Winning would be good, but tell me the many allures of Vegas don't pull at otherwise testosterone laden young alpha- males -- and I'll tell you I don't believe it.

Thing is, though it wasn't supposed to happen -- they ARE winning. Convincingly. These guys have turned out to be the real deal. The best of both worlds, as it were.

The Golden Knights easily dispatched the LA Kings 4-0 in the first round of the playoffs. OK, so the Kings were only a wild-card and not so good.

But they just closed out the San Jose Sharks in the second round. A much better team.

Now they await the winner of the Winnipeg/Nashville series for a shot at the Stanley Cup Finals.

And they just might win that one too, especially if the Jets, currently ahead 3-2 in the series, manage to eliminate the Predators. That would give the Vegas boys home-ice advantage.

Regardless, even if they don't go any further in the playoffs, the sports Executive of the Year award is a no-brainer.

See Foley and/or McPhee above.

They have done what has never before been accomplished in all the years, all the leagues, and all the expansions over all those many decades.

Put together a team that just might -- MIGHT -- be capable of winning a championship in its rookie year.

And I hope they do.

I mean, c'mon. Where would it be more fun to attend or see a parade? Winnipeg? Please. Most people don't even know where it is -- and don't care. Between Pittsburgh (Penguins) and Washington DC (Capitals -- they'll choke, because they always do), who would show up? Laid off steel workers or that tweetomaniac taking credit for it all? Tampa? Not a bad choice -- but it ain't Vegas.

Can you imagine the show that would be put on along the strip -- and downtown -- if the Golden Knights managed to win the Stanley Cup? In their first year of existence?

Oh my. Bring it on. The very thought of the possibility has yours truly thinking about going back to Sin City for the umpteenth time.

Always something new and exciting to do there.

And a Stanley Cup victory parade most definitely would qualify.





















Saturday, May 5, 2018

Dwane Casey. Forever over-rated

The current head coach of the Toronto Raptors seems to have lived a charmed life.

From high school, through college (Kentucky), and overseas adventures (Japan), Casey found, or fell into a way/place/program that was successful. But always at a second tier level. A decent player, but not a really good one. Assistant coaching jobs galore,but always with another head man in charge calling the shots.

It could fairly be said Dwane Casey served a long apprenticeship.

It could also fairly be said he narrowly avoided a career bullet when "proof beyond a reasonable doubt" wasn't found regarding illegal cash going to a college player -- though it "allegedly" had Casey's name on it as the sender.

Yet he escaped, barely, and was finally rewarded a head coaching job in the NBA. He would succeed Kevin McHale as the coach of the Minnesota Timberwolves, some thirteen years ago, in 2005.

His record since ----

2005-06  Missed playoffs.
2006-07  Fired mid-season.

That probably should have been the end of Casey's NBA head coaching job, but it wasn't.
After a four-year hiatus, which he spent bouncing around Japan, the Toronto Raptors gave him a shot at the head coaching gig.

His record since ----

2011-12  Missed playoffs
2012-13  Missed playoffs
2013-14  Eliminated in first round
2014-15  Eliminated in first round
2015-16  Eliminated in third round -- the conference championship, high point of his career.
2016-17  Eliminate in second round --- a step backwards.

And 2017-18, this year, the Raptors, though a #1 seed, are on their way to being swept by the Cleveland Cavaliers, a #4 seed, in the second round again.

After dropping the first two games at home, then losing a close one at the buzzer in Cleveland, chances are good the Raptors will fold their tents -- again -- and humbly bow out in Game Four. Chances of them coming back from an 0-3 deficit against Lebron and Co.? About the same as the Detroit Lions winning the Super Bowl, or yours truly winning a Pulitzer for his writing. Let's just say -- not so good.

The thing about Dwane is, he seems to get a lot out of his teams during the regular season, but is equally clueless when the playoffs start.

His regular season winning percentage over the years mentioned above?  .549. Not outstanding by any means, but the Raptors have been playing in a division on the weak side throughout. Still, not too shabby.

But the killer stat rears it's ugly head when the playoffs have started.

Casey's career record there is a dismal .419.

And it will be going down a few percentage points after this season is over. The probable 4-0 sweep by the Cavs hasn't been computed into that figure yet. It might well dip below .400. And that's horrible.

So the question would seem to be thus --- why do the Raptors keep giving this guy contract extensions when he's already proven his glass ceiling and/or Peter Principle comes front and center with a vengeance when the post-season starts?

And hey, the Raptors are about as good as they're going to get. Meanwhile, the Philadelphia 76ers appear to be a team of the future (see a couple years down the road), and the Boston Celtics (through GM Danny Ainge's masterful dealings) are ready to compete now. True, they've been severely handicapped by the season long absence of Gordon Heyward and the injury to Kyrie Irving. But how good will they be next year, assuming everybody's healthy?

Answer -- a whole lot better than Casey and the Raptors.

In sum, Dwane Casey is just another guy that has been over-rated and over-hyped through the years.

Because the stats don't lie.

Kinda good, even pretty good through the regular season, but a gag is always waiting at the end.






Thursday, May 3, 2018

Stick a fork in.....

The Toronto Raptors. In Game One, at home, against the Cleveland Cavaliers (a #1 seed vs a #4 seed), the Raptors had the Cavs down 15 points in the third quarter. And they blew it.

They just got blown out in Game Two. Now the series goes to Cleveland for Games Three and Four.

Stick a fork in the Raptors. They're done. As usual.

The Philadelphia 76ers are a young and up and coming team. If they can stay healthy and keep the team together, they'll be a force to be reckoned with in a couple years.

But not this year. They had the Boston Celtics down 13 points and should have evened the series at 1-1. And they blew it.

Let's not forget, the Celts are playing without their two best players, namely All-Star forward Gordon Heyward, and super-star guard Kyrie Irving. If they can't beat the depleted Beaners under those conditions -- stick a fork in them. Though if the Sixers go back home and win Games Three and Four to tie the series, it could get interesting. That's a definite maybe. They have a pulse, though it's faint. Winning four out the next five is a very tall order. We'll see.

A couple days ago, there was an ominous rumbling in the distance, and it kept getting louder and louder. What could it be?

Yep, His Highness Tiger Woods was entering another golf tournament. Let the hype begin -- again.

Yet after one round of the Wells Fargo Open, dear Eldrick finds himself 6 shots behind. Where have we heard that before lately? Another round like that, and he just might miss the cut -- again. Even par isn't going to get it on the PGA tour, unless the tournament is the US Open, always ridiculously hard courses, where par is oftentimes really good. Quail Hollow, in Charlotte NC, though semi-tough, site of the Wells Fargo, isn't one of those venues.

I've been saying it since his marriage exploded. Stick a fork in this guy. Now in his forties, no way is he going to compete against the awesome fields of younger guns now on the tour. It doesn't have to be one guy every week -- say a Jordan Spieth, Justin Thomas, or Rory McIlroy. But it's always going to be somebody, likely a lot of them, that will bury Woods in any given tournament.

He had his decade of greatness, likely the most dominant decade of all time in golf.

But it's over.

Get used to it.

And all the hype and hero-worship in the world isn't going to change that.

Stick a fork in him.

He's more done than a goose left overnight in a 500 degree oven.

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

The wacky playoffs

See the Boston Bruins go into Tampa and steal Game One from the Lightning. Boston's pretty good -- ask the Maple Leafs. Advantage Beaners. See them go back home and get blitzed on their own ice to fall behind 2-1 in the series. Who's going to win? Coin flip.

See the Utah Jazz get hammered in Game One of their NBA series at Houston. No surprise there. See the Jazz come out and steal Game Two from the Rockets to take home court advantage and even up the series 1-1. Who's going to win? Probably still Houston. But now the series goes back to Utah for the next couple games.

If, and a mighty big if, the Jazz were to take Game Three and go up 2-1, the pressure on Houston would be enormous. It further figures that if Utah stays clean at home and goes up 3-1, well, what comes after enormous?

And a whole lot of folks will start picking on/criticizing/dissecting Houston, making matters even worse. Could the team with the -- by far -- best regular season record in the league, get knocked off before even getting to the Conference Finals? Nah. They'll right the ship. Or coach Mike Dantoni better hope they do, or he's gonna have some serious 'splainin' to do to the press and his bosses.

As was noted before in this space, the Indiana Pacers should rightfully have knocked off the Cleveland Cavaliers. How Lebron and Co. escaped to move on is more a fluke than a sign of dominant play. The Cavs are ripe for the picking.

But -- now they're playing the Toronto Raptors. In Game One of that series, the hosers of the north had the Cavs right where they wanted them. Down 15 points midway through the third quarter, fans going nuts, and James having a bad game, at least by his standards.

What could go wrong?

Turned out -- plenty. The Raptors would blow the lead and lose the game. Don't be surprised if Toronto folds its tent like it did last year when the pressure ratcheted up, when they were supposed to be good as well. The same Cavs swept them in a four game series.

For a first year expansion team, the Golden Knights of Las Vegas have been amazing. At or near the top of the standings all year long during the regular season. Nobody saw that coming.

But the San Jose Sharks went into Vegas and punched them in the mouth early in their current series, stealing home ice away. Uh oh.

To their credit, again, the Knights just went into Saint Joe and returned the favor -- a convincing win, to reclaim home ice and the momentum. And the Sharks are really, REALLY tough to beat at home.

Can the upstart Knights polish them off? We'll see. Another coin flip.

Yep, these playoffs are definitely getting interesting.

Love it when at least a game or three is on TV every night.

Couch tater paradise.

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Tom Brady and Draymond Green. Shut up

Now it's supposedly big news that Tom Brady took the "fifth" when asked whether he thought he was appreciated enough by the New England Patriots?

He needs to shut up and "appreciate" the good fortune that has come his way over the years.

Yes, I get it. #12 has been to eight Super Bowls, winning five of them, and MVP of four of them. A lock first ballot future Hall of Famer to be sure. Maybe the best QB ever.

But let's not forget back in the day he was a sixth-round draft choice -- almost an afterthought.

In the meantime, dear Tom has made about $200,000,000 playing football, and that's not counting the various endorsements he reaped the rewards of over the years -- probably at least that much again.

And most likely none of this happens if he doesn't fall into a system -- and coach like Bill Bellichick running it. Had he been with the Lions, Browns, Bills, Dolphins, Bears, Chargers, and a few other perennially sad-sack teams, he'd have probably been used up and forgotten long ago. It just so happened he landed in the right place, at the right time, in an organization in which he could prosper -- be great even.

So as much as I admire him for what he's accomplished, I don't want to hear him even semi-insinuating he doesn't get enough respect. That bit belonged to the late Rodney Dangerfield.

Shut up Tom, and be grateful for what you have. You wouldn't have that bulging bank account and drop-dead gorgeous trophy wife if you'd been picked by Cleveland or Detroit. More like super-sizing orders at a drive-thru window, begging for dates, and living in a trailer. The question isn't whether HE'S been appreciated enough by the team, but rather whether he sufficiently appreciates what the team made possible for HIM.

Draymond Green, he of the reigning world champion Golden State Warriors, is a wonderfully talented player.

He's also quite the thug and loud mouth. The NBA's version of Ndamukong (the stomper) Suh when it comes to dirty play.

We've seen him deliver several thunderous kicks to the groins of opposing players. Elbows to the faces, and other mayhem. But like Suh, he not only appears to have no conscience about it, but rather revels in his misdeeds.

And Green has never seen a camera or microphone he won't gravitate to either when it comes to talking trash.

He needs to shut up too. Not just any team would tolerate such goonish behavior. If he had been on a loser -- like the Phoenix Suns, Brooklyn Nets, Michael Jordan's abomination in Carolina, or whatever the Chicago Bulls have cobbled together in recent years -- dear Draymond would likely be cooking the stuff Tom was dishing out at the drive-thru. It just so happened he landed in the right spot at the right time as well.

For this, these guys get paid obscene amounts of money. More so than all but a handful of CEOs of highly successful corporations. For playing a game. For a few months a year only.

Like him or hate him, the President of the United States gets paid $400,000 a year. Tough job, packed with pressure 24/7/365. That same 400K is less than two game checks (out of 82 regular-season -- the playoffs kick in more mega-bucks) for Draymond.

And Brady has to play maybe a single quarter of any particular game to ring up the same cha-ching.

You wonder how and why the average "family of four" has to skip a house payment to attend a game these days, what with parking, exorbitant ticket prices, concessions marked up 1000% for food and drink they'd consider inedible (slop not worthy of giving to the NEIGHBOR'S  dog) at home?

Guys like these are the poster children for how this has come about.

Yet they whine, or don't feel appreciated, or talk and talk some more, as if they're some sort of cult heroes, with legions of fans hanging on their every word.

Sad thing is -- they are. And THAT, is a testament to mass ignorance.

P.T. Barnum was absolutely right. There's one born every minute. Worse, they seem to be multiplying faster than rabbits fed a steady diet of chow laced with sexual stimulants. They're everywhere.

But OK. Enough is enough. I've ripped on the, ahem, all-American boy in the east and the, ahem, heart -- or is that groin -- throb in the west.

Time to follow my own advice and.....

Shut up. At least for a day or two.

But show me four hundred grand and I could probably be persuaded to stay mum a little longer.

How do I know my boss -- sometimes known as an editor -- truly appreciates me? Because he hasn't chewed me out in recent weeks.

Make it an even million, and I'd find a way to give myself a couple kicks in the groin. I'm not sure that's humanly possible, but I'd at least try. Can't be any worse than divorce court -- right?