Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Joey Chestnut and all those hot dogs

I love hot dogs. Always did and probably always will. But I'm picky these days. Only the Koegel natural casing wieners for me. You know, the good stuff.

True, they probably don't rank up there with the finer cuisines, like lobster, a juicy porterhouse steak, or a Frosty from Wendy's, but hot dogs are pretty good.

Also true is I probably don't want to know what actually goes into the making of them. I've heard horror stories about such things, ingredients etal, so I'd rather continue to be blissfully ignorant. And I've got a really bad feeling about what those "natural casings" actually consist of as well. All I know is I like them.

But not as much as one Joey Chestnut. He just broke his own world record by scarfing down 74 hot dogs -- and buns -- in 10 minutes.

Consider that for a second. Could you eat seven and a half hot dogs and buns in one minute? Maybe. But then could you do it nine more times in a row? No way.

SEVENTY FOUR hot dogs and buns in ten minutes? Unbelievable. A monster great white shark or ravenous 600 pound grizzly bear probably couldn't pull that off.

But Joey Chestnut, a guy that weighs a little north of 200 pounds, did.

You know what would be truly comical to watch?

Chestnut, a San Jose native, is probably really well known in the Bay area. But can you imagine if he disguised himself and traveled the US seeking out all-you-can-eat joints?

I'd gladly cough up a C-note to be present when JC rolled into a food establishment, plopped down his 10 or 20 bucks, and started chowing down on the all-you-can-eat offer of the day -- especially if they were hot dogs.

After he had gone through, say, twenty, they'd probably give him a funny look. When he got to forty, the owner would want to know what the hell was going on.

At sixty, surely the proprietor would be exasperated. WHO AND WHAT IS THIS GUY?

Hilarious stuff.

If he ever tires of the competitive food eating circuit, JC could have his own TV show, preying on the all-you-can-eat joints across the country.

Tell me you wouldn't tune in to see that -- at least a few times -- and I'll tell you I don't believe it.

Nevertheless, all hail Joey Chestnut.

Once again, the hot dog eating king of the planet.

It kind of gets you right --urp -- there.


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