I'll Have Another -- won't.

It's really a shame I'll Have Another, the winning horse at the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness, won't be running in the Belmont Stakes. We'll never know whether that colt could have pulled off the ultimate trifecta in horse racing -- the Triple Crown. Evidently, this has something to do tendinitis in one of his front legs, and his owner and trainer didn't want to risk serious, or perhaps catastrophic injury by subjecting him to the grueling mile and a half track at Belmont. Sadly, we all know what they do with horses that "break down".

Let's be honest. Thoroughbred horse racing, much like Indy car racing, has seen the popularity of their sport severely decline in the last couple decades or so. What better way to give horse racing another jump start than to have a Triple Crown Winner? Back in the 70s, the mighty Secretariat, Seattle Slew, and Affirmed all accomplished this feat. It hasn't happened since. 34 years and counting.

Not only will I'll Have Another not participate in the Belmont Stakes -- he'll never race again. He's been retired. While that's bad news in one way, it's very good news in a few others -- especially for the horse.

Consider:

Horses that run the Derby, Preakness and Belmont are all 3 years old. After that, they can run in other lesser known races, but are barred from the Big 3. Too old. I'm somewhat surprised a horse lawyer doesn't speak up like Mr. Ed used to and file an age discrimination lawsuit. But maybe I'm getting a little off track here -- excuse the pun.

Depending on the breed, and generally speaking, most horses live to be somewhere between 20 and 30 years old. It might be safe to say the majority of humans live to be somewhere between 60 and 90 years old. Following that logic, the average horse year is equal to roughly 3 human years.

That would mean they're "peaking out" as "athletes" in competition when they're about 10 in human years. Kind of like Chinese Olympic gymnasts. Ahem.

Don't feel sorry for I'll Have Another. In human years -- how many of us get to retire into a life of luxury before we've even experienced our first decent kiss?

What will he do for the rest of his life? Stay in 5 star accommodations, eat the best food, be waited on hand and foot, and then there's the "stud" thing.

The prettiest, Grade AAA fillies from around the world will be presented to him hoping to get pregnant. And THEY will pay big bucks for the privilege of his services. He'll have no worries about marriage, nagging, diapers, clothes, paying college tuition, possible divorce, alimony, custody, child support, visitation rights, and the like.

Nope. No strings, no ties, just leisurely strolling around the pasture waiting for the next Neighmate of the Month to show up so he can have his way with her. I'll Have Another might just be a very appropriate name considering what likely awaits him in the near future.

Not many human males ever get to experience such a lifestyle. Maybe some Arab sheiks with their harems, or Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner in his younger years.

I'll Have Another doesn't know anything about the millions he could have won at Belmont, or the place in horseracing history that he won't get a chance at.

But you know what? Right about now life is good for him -- and will get better.

A pretty sweet gig.

I wonder what Mr. Ed would say about all that. Not sure, but betcha he would be jealous. I'll Have Another is about to go prime time with the ladies, and poor Ed only got to talk to Wilbur.