E.T. is back

Yep, the loveable alien, that really needs to phone home a little more often, has graced our planet with his presence once again. But this time around, it's an ever bigger event. The media is going ga-ga. This is HUGE. More spectacular than anything Steven Spielberg could come up with in his wildest dreams. Billions of people the world over are glued to their TVs waiting to see what happens next. The masses are once again absolutely enchanted, enthralled, and mesmerized by this cute little rascal.

Yessirree, Eldrick Tont (sometimes referred to as Tiger Woods) is alive, well, and playing golf in the British Open. Though his birth certificate may state otherwise, it's become apparent over the years that Woods is an extra-terrestrial as well. How do I know this? Because no earthling, be it the Pope, President, or even Anderson Cooper, can spellbind the walking, talking, and sometimes thinking carbon units on this planet like the E.T. that swings golf clubs.

Pshaw, that's ridiculous, and I'm an idiot, you say? Perhaps the latter has some merit -- opinions vary-- but consider what just happened. Woods hasn't won a major in 6 long years. Coming off yet another surgery, he badly missed the cut in his first outing back on tour a few weeks back. This E.T. has long since tumbled from his #1 world ranking. Yet just the fact he showed up to play in this year's Open has somehow sent the media into another state of rapture and adulation.

How else to explain the 4-letter network devoting a channel to nothing but following Tiger's every move in Liverpool? Evidently, the otherwise good people in Bristol, Conn., who have offered such fine objective sports programming for so many years, have fallen under the spell and succumbed as well. An entire TV channel devoted to one guy, who hasn't won anything notable in 6 years? Oh my, somebody call an exorcist. They're obviously possessed.

Yet there are a couple of sub-demons that could be at work as well. The dashing young Irish laddie, one Rory McIlroy, leads the tournament after the first round of action. E.T. is 3 shots back. Rory is #1 for his play on Thursdays, but bombs out at #181 for his play on Fridays. Then again, in recent years, Woods has been know for getting off to fast starts, but choking on the weekends in majors.

And there's a whole slew of other young studs, (and a few veterans) out there with some serious game that could be front and center on the back nine on Sunday. We shall see.

For now, it's good that E.T. is back. It definitely contributes to the entertainment value of the show.

But how about we dial back the hero worship just a tad until this guy -- you know -- actually wins something again? Is that asking too much?