St. Patrick's Day

I'm going to have to dig out that green shirt that I wear once a year. Pretty sure it came from a biker bar in Florida many moons ago somewhere around Ft. Pierce on the east side, and I'll know it when I see it. I think.

As we all know, it's become mandatory in America to wear something green on St. Patrick's day. That, or suffer the consequences, which can vary, depending on what sort of folks one associates with on the high holy day of Ye Olde Sod, or was that sot? Whatever. And sporting a green tee shirt beats the begorra out of dying one's hair, grease painting up like the Incredible Hulk, or not brushing one's teeth for a couple months. Those scenarios have their down sides. Either way, it's best to have something green going on, lest one wander into an Irish pub without and be subjected to an industrial strength wedgie. Neither is this the optimum scenario for enjoying oneself.

Nevertheless, St. Patrick's day is always special. Corned beef and cabbage, and those little red taters? Oh yeah. Bring it on. Not sure how this cuisine became associated with St. Patrick, because he actually lived back in the fifth century (400s AD), and I highly doubt they knew about corned beef any more than they knew about corn dogs, corn chips, corn fritters, or corn flakes back in those days. But it is what it is, and it works for me.

Never did understand the green beer thing either. Lots of major breweries put dye in their beer for St. Patrick's day, but it's still the same stuff. Pound down a few drafts, and you'll have the same headache in the morning. But if peeing green makes your day, then by all means go for it.

Idle thought: Would you eat a green hamburger or, if diet conscious, green yogurt?

And of course, the March Madness of the NCAA hoop tournament(s) is upon us once again. Bracketology mania is in it's usual epidemic form. Lots of green will change hands in the next three weeks, depending on how the games play out. Everybody from bookies taking bets, to bars having their own pools, to everyday John and Jane Does at the office or shop are abuzz over the annual college hoops festival.

When one looks at what these tournaments have morphed into, they might also realize the "green machine" is even more prevalent. Venues from coast to coast, north to south, will host preliminary rounds. Cha-ching. The administrations of the universities themselves get a piece of the action. The TV people pay big bucks for the rights to televise these games -- which are in turn paid for by various companies standing in line to advertise their wares. It's highly likely even the head coaches of such teams have bonus clauses in their contracts to further enrich them as they go deeper into the tournament. The only people that don't get paid are the poor slobs actually playing the game.

Yet all in all, yours truly always looks forward to St. Patrick's day. The green beer aside, the corned beef and cabbage and the fellowship enjoyed at public places on March 17 has become a special day indeed.

Just one minor complaint. Myth has it the original St. Patrick chased all the snakes out of Ireland some 1600 years ago. That's great, except ----

The problem. Some of them wound up in America and have been multiplying ever since. Name a bar, from where I got my green shirt, to an Irish pub, and check it out at closing time. The damn snakes are everywhere. True, Americans have come to call them something else -- namely 2 o'clock beauty queens -- but their DNA is the same.

Note to St. Patrick, wherever you are. Love your parades and food, but please take some of the slithery critters back to your homeland. We have more than enough of them in America already. Besides the bimbos, we're up to our Irish (or not) eyes in other reptilian creatures of the lowest order. They're called politicians.