It's amazing sometimes what a difference a year can make. Millions are born, other millions perish, and the price of gas fluctuated more than US foreign policy, amongst other things. Did I mention my editor hasn't chewed me out once in the last calendar year? That, dear readers, is a miracle. Glory hallelujah, the saints have marched in indeed.
The Detroit Lions would seem to have "seen the light" as well. Consider some of the more egregious "sinners" they have cast out of their flock.
Little more than a year ago, Jim Schwartz was still the head coach. You remember Jimbo. He was the lunatic who chased San Fran head coach Jim Harbaugh around the field with evidently malice aforethought. The same guy that threw a red challenge flag which cost his team another game, later admitted he knew it was against the rules all along, but threw it anyway. What kind of loose cannon behaves in such a way? But finally, righteously, brother Schwartz was cast into eternal hellfire and brimstone -- sometimes known as shuffling off to Buffalo. Do I hear an amen?
His successor, one Jim Caldwell, appears to be a man of good character and high morals. True, JC's NFL track record -- enter the Peter Principle, as it were -- suggests he is much better suited to serve as a trusted lieutenant rather than call the shots as a general, and trying to decipher his sound bytes at press conferences is a bit like listening to a political debate, as in, what did he just say? But overall, a pious man replacing a heathen is usually a good thing.
But look at what else has happened to the Lions since they got bounced out of the playoffs in the first round last year.
Longtime center Dominic Raiola was shown the door. Old Dom never saw a loss he wouldn't talk about to the press. And that was a whole lot of losses and a whole lot of gum flapping. Raiola once even cursed the Lions own fans in their own stadium as he was leaving the field after the Lions had bungled yet another game and the fans weren't happy. How do I know this? Because a lady friend of mine was on the receiving end of his abusive language. She paid big bucks to be there and had every right to express her disapproval. Rule 101 for professional athletes states don't interact with the fans on the road. But trashing one's OWN fans was WAY over the line, bordering on psychotic. Maybe this is what happens when a guy spends his prime years bent over with another guy's hands in his butt a few thousand times. Especially when losses after losses continue to pile up on the scoreboard. Nevertheless, Dom finally be gone. Another loose cannon decommissioned. Praise be.
Of course, cannons didn't come any looser than Ndamukong Suh. Sure, he was a force as a defensive tackle. But given his history of on and off the field transgressions, and the apparent moral compass of your average great white shark, it's likely only a matter of time before his "dark side" strikes again. Like a stepped-on rattlesnake or hungry piranha, remorse isn't in their DNA. They are what they are. While Lions fans may lament the loss of Suh to Miami, in the whole scheme of things the team became more honorable. The next time he stomps, kicks a groin, or tries to wring a QB's neck like a chicken, the Lions' fans and media don't have to try to defend it. That's another team's problem now, along with the ridiculous contract they're saddled with. Another demon exorcised from the fold. Lions fans should be joyous.
[Loved the blurb in Sports Illustrated. Suh signed a $114 million contract with the Dolphins. So he's halfway to covering his future fines. Touche SI.]
On a lesser note was fellow defensive tackle Nick Fairley. He's been in and out of management's doghouse over weight and attitude problems for a couple years. When healthy, he was nothing spectacular, but could hold his own. But NF wound up on the damaged goods list for the latter part of last year, and who knows what he might still have to offer? Even if he returns to full form, it's still the same guy. Another loose cannon. The Lions appear to be rid of him too through free agency. Let Fairley cash in on somebody else's offering plate. Another Hun exiled to a place far away. Cue the choir.
So let's see. One way or the other, the Lions have shed themselves of several less than righteous folks over the last year or so. And that's not even counting Reggie Bush, who was banished as well. Remember the whole mess he created by accepting illegal payments and other goodies while at USC that led to that school being zapped with sanctions and penalties long after he was gone making millions in the NFL? The Lions finally got around to kicking him out of the congregation. By thunder, these evil-doers have been purged and may the Lions march onward in their never-ending (literally) quest for salvation. Another playoff win or two wouldn't hurt either.
But while far more righteous, have the Lions improved their fortunes in the near future? Likely not. Sometimes bad boys have a way of winning. The Oakland Raiders knew about that decades ago, as did the Bad Boy Pistons in their day. But look what's happened. Both those franchises are now amongst the plankton in their leagues. It may take a while, but it's not nice to fool with higher powers over a trophy or a parade here and there. They'll get around to payback eventually.
Yet just when one thought the Lions had finally cleaned house of the no-good-niks, they bring in a guy like Hiloti Ngata. Another loose cannon with a history of cheap shots and a recent substance abuse suspension to boot on his rap sheet.
I suppose it's just another year in Michigan. There will always be a bazillion potholes on the roads, and the sucker Lions fans will re-up their season tickets, though their team has zero chance -- NONE -- of getting anywhere close to the Super Bowl, let alone winning it.
But as long as they're going to be losers anyway, it's a good thing to get rid of a few bad apples.
Can't hurt.
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