Thursday, January 12, 2017

California dreamin' -- or folly

So the San Diego Chargers are going to move to LA, where they will become.... huh... that would seem to be a good question. They'll still have the same ownership, front office, and core of players. Which is to say they'll still be El Stinko as an NFL team.

Meanwhile, they had to pony up $600,000,000 as a "relocation fee" to the league. That's a serious chunk of change. Are the Chargers even worth that much on the open market?

Once they get into LA-LA land, they'll join the recently re-relocated LA Rams. Another bad team. So Los Angeles went from no NFL teams to two, and still don't have a prayer of winning anything. It is likely the citizens let out another collective yawn. Things aren't going well in sports in the city of glitz and glamor.

Besides super-star Mike Trout, the baseball Angels have little to offer and are a bottom feeder. The NBA's Lakers have gone from the penthouse to the outhouse. The Clippers are pretty good, but you just know they'll make an early exit from the playoffs because that's what they always do. The same can be said of the LA Dodgers.

Good grief, it is said there are more leftover fans from Oakland Raider "nation" still in LA than will cheer for either of the two new football teams combined. Definitely not a good sign.

Elsewhere in California the pickings are slim as well. Of course, there are the Golden State Warriors, but beyond that.....

The San Fran 49ers have gone from the heady Harbaugh years to just shy of horrendous or, put another way, almost as bad as the Cleveland Browns. Don't get me wrong. San Fran is one of my favorite cities to visit. Lots of great things to see and do. But there's a reason they have a whole platoon of Dirty Harryish homicide inspectors. Like Chicago, one should take great care regarding which neighborhoods they venture into.

The above-mentioned Oakland Raiders were coming, coming, coming. Oops, their quarterback went out with a broken leg. Down they go again.

Further north, Stanford is known for its academic prowess. Yet their football team never seems to crack the Top Ten, and their hoops squads are typically second tier. Want brains? Gonna cost ya five star jocks out of high school. Alabama would seem to be just the opposite.

The latest big sports splash is DeMarcus Cousins reportedly getting ready to sign a whopping $200 million multi-year contract with the Sacramento Kings. That's good news and bad news. The good is, Cousin will get a few box car loads of cash. The bad news is, he'll never have a prayer of winning anything while with the woeful Kings. They stunk before, and have now likely crippled themselves with the salary cap as far as signing any other talent. Not that any other high profile player would want to go there in the first place.

What else is California noted for? Well, when it's not on fire, one of those pesky earthquakes might shake, rattle, and roll. Recently, they've had blizzards in the northern mountainous areas, up to 10 feet of snow, and torrential rains further south. With winds up to 100 MPH. Cue mudslides, or the latest portmanteau, "floodslides". They can't seem to win for losing. It's always something.

When's the last time USC or UCLA did anything of note in the sports world? The Bruins have never been known as a football school, and their hoops haven't been dominant since the John Wooden days of yesteryear. The erstwhile prophylactics of USC gave us the scandal of the Pete Carroll years before he bailed to the Seattle Seahawks. Remember Reggie Bush finally admitting he was "on the take" years after the fact? The school itself suffered harsh sanctions but the two main culprits went on to make millions elsewhere. That hardly seemed fair. And didn't USC give us a guy named OJ a while back? How did that work out?

Adding to California's hall of shame are those goofy behemoth-butt K girls and their extended clan, whose only talent appears to be being famous for -- being famous. Don't they hang out there too?

Last but not least, merry California evidently remains the home of the few dozen so-called "celebrities" that swore to leave the country if a certain underdog presidential candidate pulled off the improbable upset. We know what happened. So the question now becomes -- why are they still here? Liars and hypocrites, the lot of them. Boo, hiss. Off with their heads.

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