Monday, November 13, 2017

More idle rants

Now that was a stupid commercial. Can't remember what the product was -- who cares? -- but they claimed that drinking a lot of fluids just might help a person stay hydrated.

Well, no kidding. I mean, what pearls of wisdom might these geniuses come up with next to insult our intelligence? That jumping out of an airplane without a parachute just might shorten one's life span? That wearing clothes in public just might decrease the odds of being arrested? That pounding a fifth of tequila and then driving an automobile just might be a pretty bad idea? Please.

So Cam Newton and the Carolina Panthers easily dispatched the Miami Dolphins. Yawn. At least dear Cam could act like an adult at the post-game press conference. This is in contrast to how we might have expected him to act after a loss. You know, the petulant child with an attitude. Pout, pout, pout, because something didn't go his way.

Has there ever been a dumber play in the history of the NFL than that the Cleveland Browns ran against the Detroit Lions late in the first half? Second and goal from the two yard line, no time-outs remaining, and only 10 seconds on the game clock? And they ran a quarterback sneak against an obviously super-stacked D line? Of course the play was stuffed. Then time ran out before they could either spike the ball or get off another play. No touchdown, not even a gimme field goal. No nothing, except embarrassment.

If I was the GM or, better yet, owner of the Browns, I'm storming into the locker room at halftime. I want to know who called that play. Whoever it was is fired on the spot. Get out -- now. This team is bad enough without monumental stupidity being added to the equation.

What's that? The Detroit Pistons are leading their division, while Lebron and the Cavs are struggling?

Two things. It's a long season and give them both time. The Pistons will crash and burn because they flat-out aren't good enough to sustain excellence. Maybe they sneak into the playoffs as a lower seed -- only to get blasted in the first round -- and who would doubt any Lebron led team won't come roaring back, quite likely making another Finals appearance next spring?

One more thing. The Pistons gave Andre Drummond a "max" contract -- on a par with the likes of Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, Russell Westbrook, James Hardin, and those guys? The same Drummond that shoots free-throws like Stevie Wonder, has no outside shot, and is pretty much useless any place further than 6-8 feet from the rim? THAT big galoot gets top dog money? Only in Detroit could they come up with such a colossal waste of dough. And you wonder why the prices to get a seat for a game are so high? Duh.

The same goes for Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford. Does any sane person really believe he deserves to be the highest paid player in the entire NFL? But he is. The same guy that hasn't won a single playoff game since he started almost a decade ago. And probably won't this year either.

You know who this is REALLY good news to? The real top guys in the league that are coming up on a new contract. All they and their agents need to do is point at Stafford. If THAT guy, with a career losing record and nary a playoff win can get such big bucks, then obviously I'm worth a lot more. Good luck to the other GMs around the league refuting that argument. Prices just went up there too, or will soon.

And the final fan insult of the night goes to one Scott Van Pelt and his minions that keep hyping him.

They want to know"where in the world ISN'T SVP?", and keep showing pix of semi-look-alikes from wherever they can get them.

Tell ya what. There's a reason he's on the air after the late-late shows in the wee hours of the morning -- see drunks stumbling home after closing bars -- rather than prime time.

The really scary part is there's so many people out there that WANT to pass themselves off as this peanut-head.

Yikes. If you thought the situation in Washington DC with the politicians has devolved into ludicrous tripe, get a load of the four-letter network and their talking heads around 2 or 3 in the morning.

Where do they get these clowns?


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