Maybe it's something in the air. Maybe it's an incurable disease the Detroit Lions have had for a long time and passed down through the generations. That might explain the over half-century of futility and, at times, Keystone Koppish ways of the franchise from ownership on down through the front office, to the parade of clown coaches, to the players over the years.
Over fifty Super Bowls played and the Lions have never even appeared in one, let alone win it? A grand total of one -- count it -- ONE playoff victory in all that time? Something must be going on here.
And it appears to have become contagious. How else to explain the recent Forest Gumpish behavior of some of their opponents?
In a game against Green Bay a few weeks ago, the Packers' long reliable place kicker, one Mason Crosby, missed three field goals from inside forty yards -- and an extra point to boot. That's ten points the Packers would normally have had almost automatically. The Lions won that game by 8. Poor Crosby evidently caught the brain-freeze virus from the Lions and it cost his team a game.
Fast forward to the Carolina Panthers game. Its place kicker, Graham Gano, hadn't missed a kick ALL YEAR. Until the Panthers faced the Lions. Then GG wigged out and not only missed a 33 yard field goal attempt, a chip shot, but an extra point as well. The Panthers would lose that game by a single point.
Worse, the retardation apparently set in with Panthers head coach Ron Riveira. In the waning seconds of the game, after a touchdown brought his team within a single point of the Motown Puddytats, incredibly, he went for the two point conversion. What the HELL was he thinking? Or was he capable of it at all?
It failed, of course, and the Lions got yet another improbable win they didn't deserve. Hey, in that situation you take the tie every time and go into overtime, especially when you're clearly the superior team.
In the Thanksgiving day game played earlier, at Detroit, the Chicago Bears went into mental shutdown as well. Only in the first half, Da Bears had scored a touchdown to take a 9-7 lead. Then they became Duh Bears. Instead of kicking the extra point to make it a three point (field goal) margin, they -- you've gotta be kidding me -- went for the two point conversion. And naturally failed. What in the name of Forest Gump were you guys doing? Any five-year-old knows better than that.
I just knew that one point would come back to haunt them.
And as the game went on, it appeared that might indeed come to pass.
Were the Lions about to get yet another win in a game they should have lost, because the other team developed a severe case of special teams stark raving madness?
As it turned out, not.
Enter Lions' quarterback Matthew Stafford, who's been around for almost a decade, has a career losing record, and is yet to win a playoff game, though his salary is among the highest in the entire league. See front office non compos mentis, mentioned above.
Somewhat fittingly, he handed the game right back to the Bears. As the Lions were driving for what could have been the deciding score, their version of the Georgia Peach pulled a bone-head and threw a pick-six. An easy one. A short out pattern a Chicago safety saw coming all the way, swooped in and, presto, touchdown Bears. Piece of cake, when the other guy starts playing as dumb as they cause opponents to get.
So now the Lions are 4-7, bringing up the rear in their division. Even with the "dumb" luck factor on their side, it anybody really surprised?
On to the good news/bad news. The good news is the Lions, having played on Thursday, get 10 whole days off before their next game.
The bad news is two-fold. 1). Their next opponent is the LA Rams, arguably the best team in the league, and 2) they had a bye week this week. Having played on Monday night against the KC Chiefs, the Rams will get 13 days off.
The chances of the Lions beating the high-flying Rams? Logically, probably zero. It should be a blow-out. A romp.
But ya never know when the Lions will give the dreaded instant brick or potted plant syndrome to an opponent again.
Thankfully, after being afflicted, other teams seem to defeat the insidious disease after they get away from the source -- the Lions.
But the Motowners appear stuck with it for life.
Well over fifty years and counting speaks for itself.....
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