Thursday, September 8, 2011

Lies, lies, and more lies

I just wanted to watch Jeopardy. My mom hooked me on that when I was a little boy and I've been addicted ever since.

So I clicked on channel 4 a few minutes after 7, expecting the Wheel of Fortune to be on. I could mute that for a while which would give me just about enough time to take care of a few bills and then get back to Alex. It was the Finals of the Teachers Tournament and, needless to say, from what I saw of the semis, those were 3 very sharp individuals.

Oops. President O'Bama was addressing the nation about a jobs bill. Well OK, he's the Prez, so I'll listen up. A rousing speech it was indeed. Like him or not, this dude can stir people. Given the Sharks-Jets, Bloods-Cryps mentality of Washington DC lately, to get members of the other party standing up and applauding is no small feat. But in the back of my mind, there was another reason I was tuned to channel 4.

Saints at Packers. Even the network execs saw the wisdom in not preempting that for some sort of dumbass rebuttal speech to the President's address. The last 2 Super Bowl champs getting it on at Lambeaui. This was supposed to happen at 8:30.  NBC had a digital count-down clock on the screen, telling us exactly how many minutes and seconds were left until kickoff. 7:41, 7:40. 7:39, etc.

They lied.

When that timer ran out, we were, ahem, treated to Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth, the play-by-play guy and the analyst, respectively, giving us their insights on the contest that was supposed to have already started.

That was followed by a Geico commerical.
Then an E-trade commercial.
Then a Subway commercial.
Then the NFL plugging itself with a commercial.

Back to Lambeau. The Packers are just now making their grand entrance onto the field. The cheesers go wild. I want a feaking kick-off already.

Nope, not yet. Here comes the national anthem that should have been played 20 minutes ago.

Then, of course, there's the mandatory fly-by with a few fighter jets, which is basically just a waste of time and jet fuel.

Now more wisdom from Al and Cris.At this point in time,  I swear, if I see one more commercial with a lizard or a cave man before I see some football, I'm going on a jihad.

So what happens next? Some lady sideline talking head wants an interview with Clay Matthews, a linebacker for the Packers. He's known for his engine running at high RPMs all the time anyway, but she has to stick a camera and a microphone in his face just seconds before the opening game of the season at his home field with a very good team as oppinents and a national TV audiience, to boot. Matthews is no doubt geeked  to the max, but NBC, in their infinite wisdom, just has to kill a few more minutes with some goofy reporter that probably knows as much about football as she does brain surgery. And here's an idea. If the TV folks have to put a female on the sidelines for sound bytes in an atmosphere supercharged with testosterone, why not get one that's Playboy quality, instead of Better Homes and Gardens or Field and Stream?

Listening to the Prez was pretty good. Missing Jeopardy wasn't so hot.

But when it comes to that clock and countdown?

They lie.

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