Thursday, September 1, 2011

Venus Williams has been sick

VW says she's relieved to finally find out why she hasn't been performing up to her old standards on the tennis court lately. Evidently, she has something called Sjogren's Syndrome. A quick Google search discovered the most common symptoms of that disease are dry eyes and a dry mouth. It may well be that she is inflicted by the malady named after a Swedish eye doctor. The good news is -- this is treatable.

However, another explanation is worth considering. There's a little known disease that she may also have contracted that would explain her recent play, particularly in the latter rounds of tournaments, when the pressure is on, and she's staring at a world class player across the net.

The symptoms are similar to Sjogren's, but also include an irrational feeling of dread. This is known as the syndrome of Deppuhw Nitteg. Sadly, there is no known cure or treatment available at this time.

You can do all the internet searches you want but no information on this mysterious illness seems to be available. To learn more about Venus' other possible affliction, which includes the above mentioned dry eyes, dry mouth, and especially an unexplainable fear that may have affected her play in the last couple years --  simply spell Deppuhw Nitteg backwards.

(Thank you for the mindset, Al Jaffee. You've been one of my heroes for over 40 years).

Al Jaffee you can Google. That will tell you more.


  1. you're a mad mad mad mad boy. lol

  2. I looked up Al Jaffee. 90 years old and still writing for Mad magazine. I didn't even know that was still around.

  3. I'm a "Mad" man indeed. Have been since junior high school. Got stacks of old issues going back decades. Didn't know it was still around? This is what happens when you've been paying too much attention to Harry Potter and reality shows. The brain begins to decompose. However, if for some reason you want to speed up the process, subscribe to Mad. Or write a sports blog for the Oakland Press. That will get you there. JL