Friday, October 7, 2011

Hanging with Hank Jr. and Henry

So ESPN fired Hank Williams Jr over a few political comments. Or maybe Hank quit when they yanked his iconic Monday Night Football song from airing on 10/3. All depends who you want to believe. It doesn't mattter anyway. It's akin to which party filed first for a divorce. When it's over, it's over, so who cares?

I caught some flak over this last time, but I'm digging in. When it comes to Hank vs. politicians, this should be a no-brainer. A few reasons:

Hank may talk about enemies but he can't start wars resulting in massive loss of life. Politicians can and do.

Between Hank and politicians -- ask a straight question and you'll get a straight answer from one of them, and BS from the other. Guess who's who?

Politicians tour the country and hold $1000 a plate fund-raisers, where the people get a plate of good food and a 20 minute boring speech. This is for hard-core partisans.

Hank tours the country, his concert tickets are available for well under a C-note, people sneak in good booze, and get a 2-3 hour kick-ass concert. This is for hard-core partiers.

Hank fell off a mountain once, and suffered life-threatening injuries. It took a lot of operations to put him back together again.

Politicians routinely have affairs, get caught with their hands in other cookie jars, see their popularity falling in polls and consider it career-threatening. It takes a lot of "spin" to put them back together again.

Hank has his bandmates, who are immensely talented at playing a particular instrument and keeping the music flowing. If you don't like the show, you don't have to go to another one.

Politicians have their "closest advisors", who are immensely talented at playing a particular issue and keeping themselves feeding at the trough of taxpayer dollars. If you don't like the show -- tough. You're stuck with them until the next election.

Hank writes most of his own stuff. Politicians don't.

Hank doesn't need a teleprompter. Politicians do.

If Hank breaks a string on his guitar while playing, it's no big deal. He handles it, and the show goes on without missing a beat. Nobody much notices.

If a single hair gets out of place on a politician during a TV interview, the tape is stopped, eventually edited, they go back to the make-up room for some more goop, and the show goes on without missing a commercial. Nobody notices that either.

Hank spoke of Obama, Biden, Hitler, Netanyahu, Boehner, and whomever. They're tossing him off the air for this? If that's the case, then we should silence people named Limbaugh and Stern. Throw in Beck and Carville as well. They all have strong opinions, either liberal or conservative. Take your pick, but if you're going to get rid of one, you have to get rid of the other, to be fair.

Back to Monday Night Football. Hank's gone, so somebody has to fill that spot, right?

My spiritual advisor Henry seems to think Kid Rock is on deck. That would kinda fit, though I still think Kid Rock is a latter-day clone of Ronnie Van Zant, the original lead singer of Lynyrd Skynyrd, who died in a plane crash over 30 years ago. The voice, the hair -- facial and otherwise -- the mannerisms, the stage presence, everything. They even look alike. Check it out. Of course, unlike some other famous Henrys. this one isn't from the House of Tudor. More like the House of 2 More. Despite his genius, sometimes I think maybe he should have stopped at Old No.6,  but that's a story for another day.

Getting back on point here, I've given you a few reasons why I prefer Hank Williams Jr. over any and all politicians and couldn't care less about what he had to say about the whole sorry bunch. It's his opinion, and he's entitled to it.

But the # 1 reason why Hank is better than a politician?

If you go to see Hank, the ladies won't show up in those stupid red "power" dresses, trying to project some sort of "image". The only people that haven't caught on to that little charade yet is THEM.

It's possible my friend Henry might consider saying, "How dumb ARE you anyway, bi---?"

But perhaps it would be better to defer to a certain talking-head NFL panel. If they were viewing tapes of these women, I have little doubt they would reach a unanimous conclusion, and utter those famous words......

"C'mon, man".

1 comment:

  1. kid rock on monday night!!what a awesome idea.he would be a perfect fit.keep up the good work john.