Saturday, May 26, 2012

Pole dancing

Believe it or not, a movement is underway to make pole dancing an Olympic sport in 2016.

Most American males, including myself, and probably a lot of ladies, have seen those girls in action sometime in their life. Up and down the pole they'll go, twisting, turning, right side up, upside down, and contorting themselves into some very provocative poses, all while scantily dressed. The crowd cheers and normally tips them generously when their routine is done. That's all well and good if one is into that sort of entertainment.

But I never thought I'd see the day that it could become an Olympic sport. Let's look at where this might go.....

First, would this be a woman only sport? I certainly hope so. The thought of guys doing this sort of thing -- well -- not only do I support Title IX, but think an exclusionary clause should be added on. Men should NOT be allowed to participate in some sports.

If pole dancing becomes an Olympic event, it would have repercussions the world over. Think about it. Most countries would be sending a pole dancing team to the Olympics. You might say, "You're crazy, Leach, nobody would go for that". To that I would respond, "Oh yeah, then how do you explain a country like Jamaica, with no snow or ice -- ever -- sending a bobsled team, that, by the way, beat the Americans?"

A few of the more "conservative" countries when it comes to women, such as some in the Middle East, might not know exactly what to do about this. Would they insist on their lady contestants keeping their faces veiled?  Fine by me. Veils have always been sultry. Bring it on. Besides, nobody looks at their faces anyway.

What would be the minimum age to participate, and would some countries try to cheat by sending girls "under the limit" that could better contort themselves? None of that matters. There should only be one rule. The participants must have cleavage. That would eliminate the 11 and 12 year olds. You might further say, "Wait a minute, some adult women never develop that". True, but tough. Let them play soccer, volleyball, or any number of other sports -- but they should not, repeat NOT, be allowed on the pole. When male viewers the world over tune in, they would want to be entertained watching this sport. Cleavage entertains. Stick girls do not.

And get rid of the blood and urine tests for this sport only. If there was ever a place for performance enhancing drugs -- this would be it.

This sport could get a whole lot more interesting, especially to the men, than synchronized swimming ever was. All we get to see there is girls upside down in the water twirling around and moving their legs in unison. Nobody even knows what they look like. As highly conditioned athletes, perhaps they could become multi-dimensional and enter another event. Get out of the pool and jump on the pole. That raises yet another question. Could there be synchronized team pole dancing? The possibilities are endless.

Some might argue that many "garden-variety" pole dancers have been "digging" for the "gold" for years.

This would give them a chance to actually GO for it.

And why not? It would be a heck of a lot more entertaining than, say, the biathlon. But that's held in the Winter Olympics and pole dancing would be in the Summer Olympics? Says who?

Put them outside in the cold and snow while they're competing on the poles.

That would likely raise yet another couple interesting "points".

I'm beginning to like this idea.


  1. John, you are a sick puppy.

    1. I 'spose Al, but sometimes it's just kinda fun to put tongue firmly in cheek and let it roll. Happy Memorial day.