NFL challenge flags.

Let's see if I have this right. These days in an NFL game, both head coaches are equipped with red "challenge" flags. Similar to the yellow hankies the officiating crews (zebras) carry, the head coaches can throw them on the field to protest the result of a play, a call, or pretty much anything they want to. Well, sort of.

It turns out not all plays and/or calls are "challengeable". Other than perhaps the Almighty (not Roger Goodell -- the other One) nobody seems to know for sure just exactly whats challengeable and what isn't. Perhaps that's because the NFL seems to have more confusing rules and regulations than the IRS tax code. Page 38 might say one thing, while page 936 says the opposite. Either way, it all depends on who's doing the interpreting. Basically, in the end, nobody knows what the hell is going on, so they give it their best shot and hope it turns out OK.

If an NFL head coach throws his red flag, and his protest is deemed to be correct, the call on the field is reversed and play goes on, eventually, after several minutes worth of TV commercials while the fans in actual attendance twiddle their $8 draft beers. Yet, if he's wrong, his team will get docked a time-out. Further, if he's wrong twice, even if it's still in the first quarter of the game -- he has no more challenges. To boot, if that coach challenges an "unchallengeable" play, it's a 15 yard penalty. Yours truly has no idea what the official call is -- perhaps that's another rule for "bench misconduct for ignorance of the rules". Beats me, but the Green Bay Packers got zapped with it last week against the 49ers. It can happen.

It used to be that such challenges warranted the on-field referee (the guy wearing the white cap), to go over to the sideline and view replays under the hood of a TV monitor. It was assumed the TV techs were showing him every possible angle of replays, including slow motion. After due diligence, he would return to the field, turn on his stadium microphone, and announce his call. Not any more.

This is now done by the "guys in the booth", and their decision is handed down to that same ref, who relays it to the people in attendance and the TV viewers. That ref used to be the judge. Now he's a bailiff for an INVISIBLE judge. All rise.

Time out. Red flag. I challenge that call.

First, how do we know there's "guys" in the booth? The only thing coaches, players, and fans know for sure is there's a room with dark-tinted windows high above the stadium called "the booth" that makes the final calls. Are there really qualified impartial guys in that room? Why do they remain so secretive? They're not exactly dealing with matters of national security and classified intelligence reports, so why not show themselves?

Then again, maybe we don't really want to know. What if it turned out all this was being done by a computer? It could be anything. Oprah and Dr. Phil. Dave and Jay. Mitt and Barack. Worst case scenario? Try the Kardashian sisters on for size trying to sort out the NFL rules. Now THAT would be scary.

Even assuming the "guys" in the booth really exist, and they're qualified to make all these calls, another inconsistency remains.

They can call for an "official review" on any particular play whenever they feel like it. Most times this happens after the "2 minute warning" in both halves of a game, but not always. Even if a head coach didn't throw his red hanky, the entity from on high can halt the game to go back and recheck any particular play or on-field call.

So yours truly is left to wonder -- what's the point in the head coaches having the red flags in the first place? Why not just let the guys in the booth, or the computer, or the Kardashians, or whoever they are, decide things whenever they feel like stepping in?

Here's a thought. There's too many confusing rules, too many flags, too many time-outs, and too many people capable of turning what should be 20 minutes of action into an hour of mostly waiting around.

Get rid of the coaches' red hankies, get rid of the booth, and let the refs on the field make their calls. Yes, mistakes will be made, but despite all the endless replays currently being viewed by way too many people, for way too long -- they still get it wrong too sometimes. There's a reason the average NFL contest no longer fits into the 3-hour time slot it always used to.

A call here, a call there. It averages out in the long run. On with the game, fer chrissakes.