Adam Jones. Clueless

Baltimore Oriole Adam Jones recently went on a rant about fans running on the field. Amongst other things, he said the players should have a chance to kick such fans with their metal spikes and hoped they would shatter their femurs. Well gee, that sounds a bit over the top, if not downright sadistic.  Besides, it's not like players such as Jones have to chase these rowdy fans down and subdue them. That's left up to beer-bellied cops and security guards.

Yet Jones went on to say he gets it. Idiot fans get all drunked up and want to be on Sports Center. Further, players like himself don't attend other events, much less go to other people's workplaces and disrupt things, so he thinks the punishment should be a lot harsher than whatever it is these days when somebody runs on the field. Hard telling what he might have in mind. Perhaps waterboarding? A public flogging? Or maybe he would find just an old-fashioned beat-down by him and his teammates after the poor devil was handcuffed and helpless to be appropriate. To boot, he doesn't find such things to be the least bit funny, though normally the crowd in attendance gets a huge kick out of it.

There's a lot of things seriously wrong with Jones' attitude.

First of all, Jones not only doesn't get it -- he doesn't have a clue. The dude's making $8,833,000 this year to play baseball -- guaranteed. If he played all 162 games, highly unlikely, that would translate into roughly $55,000 a pop. It doesn't matter if he goes 0-5, striking out four times, and makes a couple errors. He's still getting his $55K for that game.

Conversely, what he makes for one game is likely more than the average fan makes for an entire year. Many of these fans not only scrimp and save, but also let other little details like a rent/house payment slide for a month just so they can afford to attend a ballgame. Between ticket prices, parking, and concessions, it can cost the average family of four a few hundred bucks for a single day at the ballpark. That's because somebody has to pay for the outrageous salaries guys like Jones are making.

And what do they find when they get there? Besides $10 watered-down beers, try $6 hot dogs you wouldn't feed your neighbor's dog. A couple pops and ice creams for the kids? You'll shell out enough to finance your average birthday party. Worse yet, uppity millionaire athletes like Jones that think they're above it all. They can't spare any of their precious time just before or just after a game to sign autographs anymore for the wide-eyed kids that look up to them as heroes.

Maybe the game is just flat-out boring. No home runs, no runners zooming around the basepathes, no spectacular plays of any kind. A 0-0 yawner with each team only getting a couple hits.

Throw in a possible rain delay -- perhaps for hours. The kids are getting hungry/thirsty again and Mom wants another equally watered-down $10 mixed drink to wash down a pretzel to tide her over. Dad might as well drink a couple more beers. Nothing better to do. Cha-ching. There's goes next month's light bill. And all those trips escorting the brats to the by now quite unsanitary restrooms take their toll as well. Meanwhile, Jones and Co. have been in the clubhouse playing cards or taking a nap while the fans that can't find cover continue to get soaked. You'd think that would be a perfect time for the players, even if they sported umbrellas to cover their precious heads, to approach the box seats and shake hands, sign stuff, etc., for the kids that would flock to them. But no. They're above that. Much better to get a massage from a trainer, listen to some tunes, or maybe talk to their agent about an endorsement deal.

Given any combination of the above, it should be no great surprise when an occasional fan snaps a cog and runs on the field. Does it make any sense? Probably not, but maybe they feel like they're finally getting their money's worth in a weird sort of way. And since when has any such fan ever threatened an athlete, much less attempted to do them bodily harm? Never. They just want to run around and blow off a little steam for a couple minutes. No big deal, and the rest of the crowd always loves it.

It holds up the game, you say? Please. So does pitchers shaking off four signs when they only have two pitches, then stepping off the rubber, grabbing the rosin bag, only to start all over. Or batters stepping out of the batter's box after every pitch to re-velcrow their batting gloves and scratch themselves. Or how about all the trips to the mound a coach or manager makes when considering changing pitchers? All the infielders have to gather around too for some reason. They don't have a clue about pitching, but this confab will go on forever until the home plate ump comes out to break it up. And what's with every relief pitcher getting 8 practice throws when he comes into the game? The dude has already thrown 40-50 pitches in the bullpen to get warmed up, and the mound and plate are the same distance apart on the field. Eliminate all that game delaying nonsense first, then we'll talk about a fan or two that runs on the field for a minute or two -- which is usually between innings anyway. You know, when the first baseman is throwing practice ground balls to the other infielders, the outfielders are playing catch, and the pitcher gets another 8 practice throws. It's nuts when you think about it.   

So let those poor frustrated and future ramen noodle eating souls have their brief time to have a little fun. Lord knows, they've certainly paid for it. No harm done, and the donut shop freeloaders will corral them eventually.

But Adam Jones is right in one sense when he called such fans idiots.

Indeed they are. Anybody that would sacrifice so much, and put up with all the aggravation/rip offs at a ballpark just to be part of a crowd that pays the likes of Jones $55,000 every day can't be too bright to begin with.