Friday, September 19, 2014

St. Andrews admits women members

The Royal and Ancient golf club at St. Andrews has been in business for quite a long time. According to them, some 260 years. Doing the math, that means they date back to 1754, over two decades before the American revolutionary war began.

Wow. Yours truly didn't know the game of golf even WENT that far back. Since the Chicago Cubs last won the World Series or the Detroit Lions were semi-serious contenders seems ancient enough. But 260 years?  The city of Chicago didn't even exist in 1754, and the Ford family was only considering buying the Lions in those days, though the exact dates remain foggier than the Lions current secondary. Ahem.

Nonetheless, The Royal and Ancients have finally voted to allow women memberships in their exclusive club. Who will be the first honoree remains to be seen. Will it be a "royal" for ceremonial sake like, say, Queen Lizzie the Deuce? Or perhaps a princess, whose main jobs in life appear to be procreating possible future heirs to the throne and photo-ops? Or might it be someone more worthy like an actual lady golfer, past or present, who has, you know, made her fame and fortune by actually playing the game? Hard to say.

Remember, it was only two years ago that Augusta National, home of the Masters, finally caved and admitted female members. True, they'd only been around since the 1930s, nowhere near as long as the Royal and Ancients. But also remember who their first lady inductees were. Condoleezza Rice and one Darla Moore. Condy was a honcho in the Bush II administration, but has anybody ever seen her actually play golf?  Not sure about Ms. Moore either. Is she the same Darla that was a Little Rascal back in the 1930s as well, with Spanky, Alfalfa, Buckwheat, Stymie, Butch, and the rest of Our Gang? Beats me, but flush with money or not, I'm thinking a caddy would have a very long and exasperating day carrying either one of their bags around for 18 holes.

But the green jacketed prudes at Augusta are two year old news these days. They've been cross-pollinated, as it were.

However, the initial XX chromosome choice of the Royal and Ancients remains in question. Who will it be?

Just a guess, but I'm thinking we can probably rule out a Kardashian. And Miley Cyrus would appear to be a non-starter. Even though they've loosened up a wee bit after 260 years, methinks that twerking thing could result in the elders having their lower undergarments retied in a bloody well tight knot, by jove.

Who to pick? Hmm. The smart choices might be Oprah Winfrey and Ellen DeGeneres. It doesn't matter if they play golf. Both could easily afford the dues, and the R & A could cross a couple more things off the politically correct bucket list, that is sure to keep on coming in future years. Just a thought......

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