Saturday, September 27, 2014

The utter stupidity of Michigan football

As the program continues to flounder deeper into the depths under head coach Brady Hoke, it appears, incredibly, that Michigan has given him a long term (7 year) contract extension. Unbelievable.

Even more mind-boggling is Hoke, at $6 million a year, is the highest paid college coach in the country. And the university is on the financial hook for this clown through the year 2021. Money's not a big deal at Michigan. They've got tons of it, but one would think, at some point, the common sense factor would kick in. Evidently not.

UM athletic director David Brandon explained it this way -- "yesterday's performance against Utah was so impressive we decided we had to act fast to keep Brady in Ann Arbor". Earth to David -- the Utes hammered your Wolverettes 26-10 in your own house. If this is impressive to the good Mr. Brandon perhaps he should be closely monitored for the possession and usage of mind-altering drugs.

Oh, it gets even stupider. Brandon seems to think UM is only a couple seasons away from competing for a national championship. To wit -- "once we learn how to score offensive touchdowns and get our turnovers under 4 a game -- we'll be unstoppable". Well gee, David, thanks for the flash of brilliance. We fans would have NEVER thought of that. Maybe when his time is done at Michigan, Brandon can get a job with the Fords overseeing the Detroit Lions as GM or president. Great minds think alike -- right?

And just when you think the absolute max of lunacy has been reached -- along comes Brady Hoke himself with a few more words of wisdom. He disagrees with Brandon's opinion of a couple years until glory returns. The Hokey Pokester came out and said the Wolverines have a shot at the national championship THIS year. Evidently, the $40+ million contract has sent him off into a strange world of insanity not even the likes of Rod Serling, Stephen King, or Isaac Asimov could have ever imagined.

So let's see. Michigan beat a couple patsies at home in Appalachian State and Miami of Ohio. They got "mercied" 31-0 at Notre Dame. As mentioned above, the Utes came into their Big House and gave them another thrashing. And just yesterday, the Minnesota Golden Gophers reclaimed the "little brown jug", on Michigan's home field, for the first time in a very long time, with a 30-14 beatdown of the Maize and Blue. Actually, the score should have been even more lop-sided. Minn got jobbed out of a safety in Mich's end zone, and one of their corners had an easy "pick 6" on one of several errant UM passes -- but dropped the ball.

Next week UM goes to Rutgers. While not a national power, the Scarlet Knights aren't exactly a patsy either. They'll likely be favored at home, and it's entirely possible UM will be taken to the woodshed again.

Then UM comes back home for Penn State. That's a maybe.

The following week, it's off to the slaughterhouse, aka Michigan State. "Little brother" has grown up to be a brute, and if "little sister" Mich is getting waxed at home by the likes of Utah and Minn, how ugly might it get for them in East Lansing?

Given the way they're played so far this year, and looking at the rest of their Big 10 schedule, it's not out of the realm of possibility UM could go totally winless in their conference. Such is the sorry state of their program right now.

But never fear. Brady thinks a national championship is still within reach this year, and his boss David thinks it will happen no later than next year.

There's confidence. There's arrogance. And then there's the utter madness that sometimes sets in when one snaps and totally loses touch with reality. What comes after utter madness?

I don't know either, but whatever it is, they seem to be stricken with it in Ann Arbor.


  1. At least the Detroit Lions are winning.

  2. Three words anon. Remember last year.....