Saturday, July 4, 2015

Happy Fourth of July!!!

Ah yes. Independence day. Ghosts of the founding fathers are in the air. Did you know both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on the same day within five hours of each other in 1826 -- on the Fourth of July? What an incredible coincidence!!

Fly the Stars and Stripes proudly, but don't pull a Bubba Watson. Bubba once purchased the Dukes of Hazzard car. You know, the General Lee. At least one of them. Over the course of the show, almost three hundred 1969 Dodge Chargers were used, because they rarely survived a jump without major damage. Bubba's decided to paint over the Stars and Bars on the roof of his version with the Stars and Stripes. How stupid is this? Why not change it from orange to pink and rename it the General Grant while he's at it? One is not supposed to alter historical artifacts in the name of political correctness. They were what they were and should remain unchanged. Bubba's wimping out. I always did wonder about that pink driver he uses.

Fireworks will be everywhere and what great fun. Have a dog that becomes scared when the booms and bright lights start going off? Do what I do with my toy yorkies. Put them on my lap facing the screen and call up this blog. It's enough to put anybody to sleep. Maybe even into a coma. Either way, the boom/flash problem is solved. However, if your critters are smart enough to actually read but keep twitching for a few days after looking at one of these posts -- do not be alarmed. This is normal behavior and it will go away eventually -- I think.

Be safe in whatever you do and if you can't remember how many drinks you had -- it's too many to drive a car. Call a cab, get another ride, crash on somebody's couch -- whatever -- but don't try to run the gauntlet of cops that will be everywhere. They have a room for you and you won't like it. Plus, it will get mighty expensive before it's all over. Though the odds are with you, it's not worth the risk. The jails will be chock full of people -- cha-ching -- before the weekend is over. Don't be one of them.

On a lighter note, the Pistons just traded for a few guys and the Red Wings have a new coach. Hope springs eternal. The Tigers have been underachievers so far this year, but you never know. They could go on a run and make some noise in the playoffs before it's all over. The Lions? Well -- faces and coaches keep changing -- but it's still the Lions. Can't blame it on their long time owner anymore. But over 50 years of futility don't lie. Some things just aren't meant to be.

And Joey Chestnut will go for his tenth straight title at the Nathan's Coney Island hot dog eating contest. Sixty-some hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes? With a quart or two of water to wash them down? Amazing. From slim and trim to the nine months pregnant look in ten minutes. Betcha he doesn't drive anywhere either when his 4th of July festivities are over. And talk about morning sickness.....  We watch the spectacle but have no clue what suffering comes after. Whatever it is -- it's probably not pretty.

Regardless, happy birthday America. You're now 239 years old. Despite some of the nitwit politicians over the years, this thing just might work out yet.

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