Monday, September 28, 2015

The wacky NFL

Wow. The Baltimore Ravens are 0-3? Who saw that coming? Derek Carr of the Oakland Raiders is drawing comparisons to Aaron Rodgers? Really?

Well OK. Cleveland is still Cleveland and the only good thing to ever come out of Jacksonville was the Lynard Skynard band. The always self-overrated Detroit Lions are bumbling their way to another shameful season, the Patriots are rolling again, the Skins are a train wreck, and there's big time drama down in Dallas. These are all things to be expected.

The Miami Dolphins look pitiful and Ndamukong Suh, the former Detroit Lions stomper, is catching some heat for not playing hard with his new team. Combine big guaranteed bucks, a thug brain, and relocate it to another dysfunctional franchise and this is the logical result. No big surprise.

Peyton Manning is still throwing wounded ducks, but the Broncos keep finding ways to win. One is left to wonder how Archie's boy even finds time for football these days -- given he seems to be filming another moronic commercial every day. Skinny legs Peyton? High voiced Peyton? Peyton and the pizza Papa? Peyton speaking Chinese? REALLY? Has the man no shame?

[And now a personal commercial break. Alas, Samuel L. Jackson is back again hawking the Quicksilver credit card. As mentioned before in this space, quicksilver is another name for mercury, which is a highly toxic substance to human beings. But Sammy Jack says the way he sees it, we have two choices. Either get this piece of plastic to charge stuff, or one will surely face financial ruin.
Yours truly begs to differ. There is indeed a third choice. It's called the mute button every time that arrogant ass appears on the TV screen.]

Funny, or maybe not, how all the politically correct hoopla has died down over the Washington Redskins changing their "offensive" name. Maybe it's because they stink. If they were 3-0 and legitimate contenders, I'm guessing the ever-lovable media folks would be all over it. Was it ever truly important or is it about ratings? Who's kidding who?

Idle stat. The KC Chiefs were the only team to have a perfect record (3-0) against the Packers at Lambeau Field in Green Bay. Not any more. They predictably got clobbered by the Cheesers in the Monday night game.

Don't look now, but the Arizona Cardinals are 3-0 and a really good team. They were last year too until starting QB Carson Palmer went down with an injury. Everybody wants to talk about the Seahawks in the AFC west, but don't count out the Cards. These guys are the real deal.

Closing thought. After getting blistered in their first three games, the Detroit Lions face the prospect of going to Seattle for the Monday night game next week. The Seahawks find themselves two games behind Arizona in their own division, and are formidable at home. Let's just pencil in 0-4 for the Motown puddy tats. The following week, the same Arizona Cardinals come-a-calling at Detroit's own Ford field. 0-5 anyone? After all their usual preseason local hype, the Lions might well be history with a few weeks still to go before Halloween.

A surprise? Hardly. It's the Lions, remember? Every time they take a small step forward to approach mediocrity, another crash is sure to be coming soon. Over a half century of history repeated over and over again speaks for itself.

Like Sammy Jack said --  any questions?

Besides, he still wants to know what's in your wallet. So does the Detroit Lion management.

And the suckers keep on coming for both.


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