Thursday, September 24, 2015

Viagra and the WNBA

We've seen all sorts of dopey "male enhancement" pill commercials over the years. Evidently, one variety works best if the couple lugs his and her bathtubs to the beach, or up a mountain somewhere. Seems like a lot of trouble to go through. Lately, the pill-makers seem to believe guys will buy more of their product if it's pitched by women with British accents. By jove, they could bloody well be right. There's something exotic, or is that erotic, when it comes to sexual fantasies involving a partner from a different culture. And what American man would run off to his doc for a prescription after watching a trailer-trasher or ghetto mom -- brood in tow -- hawk such a product?

The latest ad features another gorgeous model, also with a Limey accent, but with a twist. She appears to be decked out in a Detroit Lions uniform -- #16. The entire decor of her magnificent bedroom also matches up with the white and blue road uniforms of the Lions. She's even playing with a football. The number 16 she wears belongs to one Lance Moore. The irony is delicious. Consider the name. Lance more. Perfect for such a product. Also seldom noticed is the wedding band she sports. So where is her husband? Shouldn't he be taking care of this business so she doesn't have to advertise? Or did he pull a Bruce/Caitlyn? Yikes, and perish the thought.

What does this have to do with the WNBA? It could fairly be said they're a bit "hard-up" themselves.

The WNBA is now in their playoff semi-finals but here's the thing. Did anybody even notice their regular season? These ladies are the best female basketball players in the world, but nobody seems to care.

They get ZERO media coverage until their playoffs are reaching a climax. Even then, it's on an obscure sports cable channel. Nothing in the newspapers or online during their regular season.

To be sure, WNBA teams typically play in arenas that have far more empty seats than bodies in them. That's probably why the maximum salary in the WNBA is around $100,000. Their NBA counterparts have a MINIMUM salary of almost $500,000. That for a rookie at the end of the bench that seldom even plays -- and it quickly escalates every year he stays on a roster. But even poor NBA teams playing in the same arenas put more butts in the stands, get a bunch of TV money, and enjoy hefty revenue sharing as well.

Is it right? Maybe not. But in the end it boils down to what is popular amongst sports fans. They either want to watch it -- or they don't.

Some things just aren't destined to catch on in America as big time sports, no matter how hard their boosters try. Men's soccer is like that. Maybe it's because they've never been any good at the international level. So is women's soccer for that matter. Even though world class, the only times it gets attention is when an event like the World Cup or Olympics rolls around.

Cricket and rugby are big in many countries, but not America. Women's fast-pitch collegiate softball gets on the radar screen during their "World Series" then quickly fades away. Do men even play competitive fast-pitch softball anymore? Or has it all devolved into the underhanded lob pitch beer-league variety? You know -- the big goobers swatting one home run after another, and huffing and puffing their way around the basepathes.

After a few post-game rounds at a local pub -- THOSE are the guys that likely need the little blue pills. That is, if their significant other is still home when they finally arrive in a drunken stupor. Hmm. It might just be these are the very same softball widows that have gone off to film Viagra commercials. Throw in a faked cockney accent, put on a Lions uniform, and let the royalties roll in. Beats the old man rolling in at 3 in the morning and flopping his beer filled belly next to them with NO chance of any action. And what lady wouldn't gladly trade a night of tolerating snoring, belching, and farting to be pampered like a movie star for a commercial?

That would explain the wedding band, and you go girl. You'll probably never play in the WNBA, but they pay peanuts compared to what you can make doing an ad spot that will get the libido challenged men all worked up and heading to their doctors for a prescription. As if they're ever going to have a woman like you. Right.

Then again, the latest one WAS wearing a Detroit Lions uniform.

One word.

Loser.









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