Sunday, May 8, 2016

The Mother's Day pink thing

At first I didn't get it. What was with all the pink stuff MLB players were wearing? Some even swinging pink bats. Sure, with apologies to Bob Dylan, times they are a-changing indeed, and many are coming out of the "closet" in one way or another. But ALL these guys? On the same day? Dang.

Or maybe it was another one of those breast cancer awareness things. A worthy cause indeed, but otherwise macho men wearing pink hardly brings a cure any closer. That's like everybody wearing green on St. Patrick's day. A very small percentage of the revelers has any Irish blood at all in their heritage. But many do it anyway because, well, everybody else does. And one will catch some flak if they don't conform.

Then I was reminded it was Mother's Day. Truth be told, I'd forgotten. Yours truly hasn't had a mom for many years, bless her soul, so sometimes it's easy to overlook such occasions that are so important to others. Put another way, congrats to the millions of couples that celebrate their wedding anniversaries every year and good for them. But to other millions that have gone through divorce proceedings, somehow the same such anniversary doesn't seem so important. A child's birthday is usually a joyous event for the family -- unless it had tragically died as an infant for whatever reason. It happens.Then it's a day of sadness. In the whole scheme of things, it all depends on circumstances. The very same occasion can be euphoric for some, heart-wrenching for others, and just another day in the life for many more -- nothing special.

Personally, I know a lot of mothers -- and muthas -- so it was probably a good idea to get out and wish a few moms a happy Mother's day. Like chocolate or flowers, they always seem to rather enjoy that sort of thing. The muthas, sometimes known as significant others, are on their own, or might be soon if they don't start taking better care of business.

Yet that raises a few questions. If pro athletes donned pink to salute mothers everywhere, what will they wear on Father's Day?

Neckties their kids gave them -- again? An extra pair of socks? Will all of them reek of Old Spice on Father's Day when they take the field?

And if moms are celebrated with pink, what color would be appropriate for dads? Blue? Maybe. Methinks many of them would just as soon the day went by without any fanfare and dopey gifts they neither need nor want -- while having to pretend that pair of cuff links they got was the greatest thing since thousands of cable channels and a remote control. Or maybe the John Deere multipurpose riding machine in the garage. But he had to buy that himself, likely after much haggling with the Mrs. If push came to shove, one can only wonder which he would rather part with.

Hey, he can put on his new tie, new socks, douse himself in cheap cologne, and even make sleeve holes in an old sweatshirt for cuff links. One "dear" had her pink day a month before. Color it any shade you wish, but get the hell out of the way when he decides to ride the other Deere. A man needs to have his own space once in a while. Father's Day is normally an exercise in awkwardness -- from both sides. Who needs it?

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