Tuesday, July 4, 2017

So they think we're stupid

Upon further review, ahem, it would appear some advertisers think sports fans are all idiots.

Well, OK, a lot of them are. How else to explain the ever-gullible Detroit Lion faithful thinking every year just might be the ONE (Super Bowl)? It never is, of course, and the last 60 years of futility would serve rather well as Exhibit A.

That is a blatant, up in your face example, but there continue to be others that are much more subtle. We see them every day on TV. Don't look now, but you're being played for a sucker.

First of all, I love Brett Favre. Always did, though, truth be told, yours truly wavered a bit with his retire, unretire, re-retire, re-unretire, bouncing around in his post-twilight years. It was -- C'mon dude. Make it official, get in line for the Hall of Fame, and quit with the stupid hanger-on stuff. It's getting embarrassing. Mercifully, for fans (and himself), he finally did.

But like a lot of ex-big time jocks, he couldn't resist the easy money that comes along with endorsing various products. Old #4 has certainly been busy in that regard of late. Trucks, blue jeans, you name it. Did he endorse sticks when throwing one for his dog to go fetch? Better yet, was that even his dog? We'll never know.

But his latest shaving razor commercial has a couple serious flaws, probably like most others of their ilk.

Look closer the next time this ad pops up on your flat screen. See Brett all lathered up with shaving cream. Hear him tout how close a shave he is getting as he drags the razor down the side of his face.

Yours truly has long suspected that the "actors" in such ads have already been super-close clean shaven just before the filming of the commercial, and that razor is merely wiping away the shaving cream, with no stubble underneath.

And Brett's latest commercial pretty well proves it. We've all seen him in the past with a full face -- and neck -- of 3-4 day growth.

But check out his neck. No shaving cream and no growth. It's already been scraped super-close clean. So how can it be his face needs a shave, but not his neck? It can't. Consider this commercial officially busted as a scam.

Adding yet another insult to the sappies, Mr. Favre claims these shavers must be superior because they contain blades of German stainless steel. What? American companies are oblivious to the concept of stainless steel honed razor sharp? Only the Teutonic tribe has figured this out to date? Does he really think Americans are that stupid? And how do we know it's stainless steel anyway? Has anybody ever cut one of those rascals apart and subjected it to a metallurgy analysis? Probably not. When it gets dull, shavers grab a new one. They don't care what's inside, as long as it works.

For that matter, even shaving cream isn't necessary. Never has been. You don't need it. The bar soap (spare me the "body-wash" nonsense at 2-3 times the price) one uses in the shower will do just fine. Lather up your face/neck with that, and it's actually easier and smoother to shave than using specialty products. Same for ladies and their legs/pits. Way cheaper too. Yours truly taught himself how to shave in the shower -- without a mirror -- and it not only saves time, but becomes second nature after a while. True, I lost a lot of blood before I finally perfected it, but anything worthwhile takes time and sacrifice. Hey, when you were a kid and the training wheels finally came off -- how many times did you fall down on your bicycle and get dinged up? But you stuck with it right?

The "miracle" of copper appears to be another scam of late. Granted, Dura-Cell's copper-top batteries have always been really good stuff, but that's only the color on the outside. It means nothing. They could paint them white, pink, or purple with chartreuse polka-dots, and it would still be the same battery.

Yet now, evidently people are being sold on the dubious claim that wrapping some sort of supporting elastic around various parts of their bodies -- which just so happen to have copper INSIDE, allegedly, will make all those pesky aches and pains go away. And by allegedly I mean -- has anybody ever cut one of these things open and inspected the innards? Probably not, because then it would be ruined and they'd have to pony up another $19.95, plus the dreaded shipping and handling fees, of course, for a replacement.

But does any sane person seriously think that applying copper --at least one layer removed from their skin -- is some sort of magical cure-all for damaged muscle tissue underneath? Please.

Not sure, but I think I spotted dear Brett hawking those things as well. Again -- C'mon Dude. Just because you made an idiot of yourself going to the Jets doesn't mean you should gouge the suckers that still admire what you once accomplished on the gridiron.

So yeah, I still love ya, always will, but quit it with the stupid stuff -- OK? It's not like you and your lovely Ms. Brie need the money.

If you just HAVE to have your face in front of a camera hawking a product, at least make it legit.

And definitely American made.

German stainless steel?

Get outta here....

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