Really, REALLY dumb things

Well OK. Dallas Cowboy running back Ezekiel Elliot recently had his 6-game suspension upheld after appealing same. This was for his "alleged" not-so-good antics off the field.

But wait a minute. EE will be able to play in the Cowboys' first game. Why? Because the arbiter said the timing of it was -- well -- untimely.

[Could it be that "untimely" translates to that first game being in Dallas, against the NY Giants, predicted to be their main rival in the division this year? Philly and the Skins aren't supposed to be any good. If Da Boys lose the opener, they're already in a big hole. It would be interesting to know what part of the country yon "arbiter" hails from handing down such a puzzling ruling.]

Never mind that this has been in the works for months and a final judgment has been handed down, short of EE and Da Boys pursuing it through the courts. Good luck with that, because then all the sordid details would come out.

So he's suspended, it's upheld upon appeal, but he gets to play one game before it takes effect?

How colossally dumb is that?

To much fanfare, the 4-letter network continues to trumpet the stupendous announcement that Alabama and Miami will meet in a football game -- in 2021.

You've gotta be kidding me. Sure, the Tide has been the real deal in recent years, but the Canes have stunk it up. So who cares whether they play a game 4 years from now?

Good grief, for that matter, if a couple of egomaniacal nitwits don't stop threatening each other with nukes, fire, fury, and annihilation -- we might not even BE here in 2021.

So why should anybody give a rat's behind about some stupid college football game so far in the future?

Dumb, really dumb.

Another window company is up to the same old tricks. Buy one now and get one free.  This is basically a half-off sale, but the same question remains. You just know they're still making a hefty profit, so how ridiculous was the mark-up on their products BEFORE the sale?

Oh yeah, dumb indeed.

You know what has to be a really hard job? Being a Detroit Tiger talking head and continuing to find ways to praise them. The ultimate in homerism.

Why won't their network allow the guys they pay a bunch of bucks to to be honest? To wit:

These guys were terrible before the season began. Not a prayer of making the playoffs. Now that they've finally gone into full-blown rebuild mode by ditching what little talent they had -- they're flat-out pitiful. Even their ball-boys are making errors on the sidelines.

Hey, if the TV execs won't let their talking heads be objective and honest about the obvious, they only stand to lose even more credibility than they already have. Who's kidding who?

OK, I admit it. Yours truly has long been a Jeopardy! addict. I always try to catch the show at 7:30.

But there's one thing you can always count on there as well. There will be French involved. Why? Because long-time host Alex Trebeck speaks it fluently and the producers and writers suck up to him by providing answers and questions that allow him to show it off.

It's such a dumb language. Way too many letters that don't even make sense. "Eau" is pronounced "O". Most "Tees" and "Esses" are silent, so why use them? "Manet" is pronounced "Man-ay". "Monet" is "Moan-ay". Alexander Dumas, which looks a whole lot like "dumb ass", is "Doo-Mah". What gives with these people?

French, french, french. Rarely any German, Italian, Gaelic, and you'll wait for a long time before you see any Russian, Mandarin, Farsi, or Urdu.

And if it's not french, there will something Canadian. Oh yes, the esteemed Mr. Trebek is a native canook.

As a little boy, I thought the only salad dressing in the world was french. That's what my mom always used on top of the lettuce, onions, and tomatoes. Maybe it was always on sale, like the windows mentioned above.

It wasn't until high school, at a friend's house, I discovered the wonders of 1000 island, ranch, Italian, and a few others. Wow, this stuff is good.

For that matter, I thought all vegetables in the world came out of Del Monte cans. Already cooked to tasteless mush and even mushier after mom had boiled them for a while. Dang, frozen veggies were almost orgasmic upon the palate when I finally stumbled upon them years later. Where has THIS stuff been all my young life??

So yes, there's plenty of dumbness to go around.

And if you don't believe that, pay close attention to the goings-on in Washington DC, where America's "best and brightest" continue to ply their trades.

Or how the Detroit Lions think they have a shot at getting to the Super Bowl this year.

And I don't know what the proper word for that is.

"Dumb" doesn't seem to do it justice.

What's dumber than dumb?