There was a time, many moons ago, when yours truly went on an annual canoe trip with several co-workers. A six hour drunk-a-thon careening down a river. After stumbling into the campground, cleaning up a bit, and having something to eat, many of us would play a game trying to throw bean bags into a small round opening on an elevated wooden box ten or twelve paces away. At that time, none of us had a name for it.
Later on, we've since discovered that game is called "cornhole". Just a guess, but I'm thinking a lot of us wouldn't have partaken had we known that back in the day. Yet these days it even has tournaments, sponsors, prize money, the whole works. Yessirree, step right up and maybe YOU can become the cornhole champion of the world.
Somehow I don't think my fellow river rats would have considered that a worthy title, especially the women. In fact, to this day I pucker up a little bit whenever I hear it mentioned. Needless to say, I won't be watching the world class cornholers -- brrr -- compete any time soon.
It's just silly.
On the PGA tour, another tournament in Florida just concluded. It was sponsored by a Japanese auto maker so I won't even mention their name. Nevertheless, young Brit Justin Thomas won it. But not until we had been subjected to the usual gag-producing onslaught of Tiger Woods plays, replays ad nauseum, hushed reverence, and the usual hype that continues to surround Eldrick Tont.
Why this is remains a mystery. Yes, he was once great. But the dude's not even in the top 500 in the world these days. And now into his 40s, it's highly unlikely he'll ever be able to compete with the young guns, and they are many, out on the tour these days. Yet his groupies, and the media should be ashamed of themselves, still think they can somehow resurrect him from the trash pile and make him into a champion again. Worse, crowds on hand cheer wildly for him -- when he makes a par putt.
If that wasn't sorry enough, somehow the broadcasters seem to think that Eldrick shooting a round in the 60s is a telltale sign he's "back". Hey, it was a 69 on a par 70 course. One under par. Hardly the stuff of legends. And BTW, the first round he's shot under 70 in three -- count em -- THREE YEARS.
While the other young guns on the tour are averse to saying such, no doubt they know that Woods hardly represents a threat to them any more.
See Tiger make the cut. Hooray, roar the masses. See Tiger 4 shots out of the lead. OMG they say. Never mind that in a bunched up field he was only 4 shots out of last place at the same time.
Oops. There goes another sploosh into a lake -- double bogey -- followed by another bad shot on the next hole.
Make that 7 shots back and hopelessly out of contention.
Hey, hats off to Woods for what he once accomplished. Very impressive stuff. But to think he can return to dominance is like thinking Elvis is going to come back and go out on tour any day now.
It's just silly.
Beware the return of Jon Gruden to the Oakland Raiders. This guy is, and has always been, the real deal. The dumbest thing former owner Al Davis ever did was trade him to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for a few high draft choices back in the early years of the George W. Bush administration. How did that work out? Gruden's Bucs, who had previously been on a par with the Detroit Lions -- almost laughable -- came back the very first year to demolish Davis' Raiders in the Super Bowl. Ouch.
Look for the Raiders to get a whole lot better, immediately. Outside of the Patriots, Steelers, and maybe Eagles, fresh off their Super Bowl win, Gruden probably could have had his pick to be head coach of most any other NFL team, current contracts notwithstanding. He's just that good and effective.
And there's nothing silly about that whatsoever.
Aw man. Just glimpsed another replay of the cornhole championship on a cable channel.
Nothing against bean bags -- I used to toss them myself back in the silly canoe days -- but for whatever reason I suddenly have this strong desire to sleep on my back tonight.
Go figure.
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