Detroit Lions and Arizona Cards. zzzzzz

I have an alternate theory as to why Rip Van Winkle slept for twenty years. Back in the day, he happened to catch the Lions and Cardinals playing each other. Watching those two teams play is about enough to put anybody into a deep sleep..

How boring are they? They could cause the sun to wink out.

One is left to wonder -- how in the world does either one of these teams ever beat anybody else?

Could it be that such other teams, upon taking the field with the Lions or Cards, and seeing the action, or more properly lack of same, become so bored as to lapse into comas?

Quick, drug check the announcers for this game. The only way they could find things to refer to as "exciting" would be if they were seriously high on something. Then again, folks of their ilk would likely rant and rave watching grass grow, paint dry, blue haired old women playing canasta -- well -- you get my drift.

The NFL says it's always striving for parity. Well then. Maybe the best thing they could do is pare sorry teams like the Lions and Cardinals right out of the league. Or at least not televise them. What's that? Even the Lions and Cardinals draw decent on-air ratings? That's probably because once people at home tune in, they're sound asleep after a few minutes, and hence can't grab the clicker and change the channel. Poor devils are put under faster than a submarine with a screen door.

And now a word from our sponsors.

You've probably seen that truck commercial. I think it's for GM products. The young man just surprised his significant other by buying his and her new pick-ups. A black one for him and a red one for her. Whatta guy.

So what does she do? Runs to the black one (his) and says, "I love it". By the time he tries to feebly protest she's already inside it saying, "I love it" again. Grabby little thing.

Any REAL man would say the following -- "Love it? Great, but guess what? You can't have it. That's one's mine. The red one is yours. And if that's not good enough for ya, I'll send it back and get you a used Yugo or Pinto instead. And you'll be happy. So either you get your butt out of MY truck or I'm heading back inside to nix the deal.":

Women. I'm telling ya.

Not as boring as a Lions/Cards game to be sure, but there's something about that "maintenance" thing that goes horribly wrong at times.

Or -- I could just be kidding.

About the fairer sex, of course.

I'll stand on my Lions/Cards take.

Whatta snooze-a-thon.

Who won the game? Beats me. Who cares? Somehow I'd managed to stumble outside for some fresh air to wake up before the sandman swept me under. When I got back in, I immediately clicked it good-bye.