Friday, March 30, 2012

Mike Brown, Kobe, and some blond girl

Mike Brown was a bad dude. He whupped the California Kid Uriah Faber twice in mixed martial arts cage fighting. Then along came some guy named Jose Aldo, a Brazilian I think, lurking around at about the same weight, and that guy was, and is, an absolute nightmare. Like club fighters getting into the ring with Mike Tyson in his early days. That kind of nightmare.

Then there's the Mike Brown that is currently the head coach of the LA Lakers. While this Brown no doubt has extensive knowledge of the intricacies of professional basketball, he appears to inspire about the same level of intimidation as Urkel.

Brown became well known for coaching the Cleveland Cavaliers while Lebron James was still there. Then Lebron "took his talents to South Beach", Brown got axed in Cleveland; Phil Jackson, the Zen Master himself, retired as the LA Lakers coach, and alakazam -- Brown's in LA-LA-Land coaching the artists formerly known as "Show Time". Or as many NBA fans outside the glitz circle call them -- $#&@!.

Now he has to deal with Kobe Bryant, arguably the face of the franchise. Bryant certainly thinks he is, and while he's been a terrific player over the years, he's also been very selfish, not only on the court, but off it as well. On the court, sometimes it doesn't matter if Bryant is triple-teamed, which means a couple of his teammates are wide open for a pass; he'll still do a couple of spins, maybe a half-gainer with a double twist, and as he's falling away -- by God -- he's going to try to shoot the damn ball. Off the court, in interviews, Bryant comes across as thinking everything about that franchise runs through him.

Idle thought. I wonder how smug Kobe would be if he woke up and found himself traded to his current coach's former team -- Cleveland.  Would that fall into the category of poetic justice? Good luck mansion hunting on the shores of Lake Erie.

Now Mike Brown, for whatever reason, has temporarily removed Kobe from the starting line-up,  Perhaps it was for lack of hustle, playing defense, attitude, or maybe an internal problem. Who knows? But when a first year coach decides to bump heads with the star player -- well -- good luck with that Mike. Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown, baddest man in the whole damn town -- you're not. Did I mention Urkel?

Combine all that with fact that the Lakers aren't the class of the west anymore. It's the former Seattle Supersonics, now known as the Oklahoma City Thunder. A few hours ago, they just waltzed into LA and trashed Kobe and company in their own building. The Okies are younger and will get better. This does not bode well for the glitzers in LA. A new dynasty may well be on the horizon.

And then there's that pool-shooting blond girl that wanders into a certain sports bar once in a while. If it wasn't for the hair color, I'd swear she was a clone of Margaret Hamilton. The lady that played the wicked witch of the west in the Wizard of Oz. People that know me also know I have a couple of yorkies that I love very much. Last time that blond girl walked past me, I thought she mumbled something about -- I'll get you my pretty, and your little dogs too. And then she cackled walking away. Yikes. Who IS this woman, and why would she threaten my poor little dogs? What's even scarier is she called me pretty. Obviously, the poor thing is deranged. Next thing you know, she'll be hanging out at airports or something.

I'm thinking maybe she needs to go a couple rounds with Mike Brown. No, not the Urkel basketball coach -- the guy in the octagon. I'd gladly cough up $49.95 to see THAT one on pay-per-view. But I'm not sure who I'd bet on. Years of training and discipline are one thing. Flat out orneriness and attitude are quite another.

Idle thought..... Speaking of clones -- I'm saying point guard James Harden of the above mentioned Okla City Thunder is a younger version of Grady, from Sanford and Son. Check it out, and tell me I'm wrong.....


  1. That blond girl sounds mean and ugly good thing you got out of that bar a live.

  2. Stayin alive is always a good thing. Cue the Bee Gees song here.... ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, Staying Alive. Sorry, lost it there for a second. But she's not ugly. Actually, she's quite attractive in a mentally unhinged sort of way. Mean is another thing. Hoo boy. Think of a wolverine in the advanced stages of rabies, and you're getting close....

  3. wicked witch of the west is no big deal dog. remember the movie. all it takes is a little water. take her for a ride in the rain. cat