Sunday, January 13, 2013

A quickie for Debbie B

Once every hundred rants or so, yours truly takes the liberty of dedicating one to a friend. This would be one of those times.

Here's to you Deb. Many thanks for all the conversations we have had over the years regarding various sports stuff. Also thanks for suggesting a few topics for me to expound on. As you know, sometimes I run with them, and sometimes I don't. Being the world renowned journalist I am -- surely you can understand someone in my lofty position must exercise a great deal of discretion when it comes to such matters.

That tribute I wrote a while back to legendary Tennessee Lady Vols hoops coach Pat Summitt likely never would have happened if you hadn't nagged-- oops-- I mean given me a few logical reasons for doing so.

More than that, I truly appreciate the constructive criticism you continue to offer. Even international super-stud literary giants like yours truly occasionally take heed of such opinions.

Nevertheless, I find your latest suggestion totally without merit. An article on shuffleboard and/or curling? Surely you jest. The only thing I know about shuffleboard is I vaguely remember playing it a couple times in a bar back in my younger days, after likely having way too much to drink. Curling is nothing more than putting the same game on ice with a bunch of brooms.

If you want an article about shuffleboard and curling -- do it yourself. Here's how.....

Call or email the sports editor of the Oakland Press and tell him you're interested in writing a sports blog. You'll have to go down to headquarters for an interview. If you make it through the bright lights in your eyes, beatings with a rubber hose, water-boarding, and other "enhanced interrogation techniques" like I did -- and still have a couple decent ideas about what to write about, then maybe, just maybe, they will give you a blog of your own.

Then you can rant about such things to your heart's content.

Getting to be a sports blogger for the OP is like making it to the Navy Seals. The applicants that are weak will be quickly weeded out during the rigorous process, and only the strong, the ELITE, survive.

But just think.... If you're good enough, and tough enough, and have the mental fortitude to persevere through the tortuous gauntlet you will be subjected to -- and survive to enjoy the acclaim someone like yours truly does to this day...

Then things would change.

But you have to earn it first.

Until then -- forget shuffleboard and curling.

Ain't gonna happen.


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