Friday, August 29, 2014

Larry the cable guy and other random hits

I never had heartburn before. But now I know what it feels like. How did this come about? By watching Larry the Cable Guy advertise a product called Prilosec that is supposed to GET RID of heartburn. By that commercial logic, Larry could hawk a lot of things. Like Tums, milk of magnesia, migraine pills, and even Preparation H. Nothing like causing the malady then selling you meds to ease the pain.

Josh Gordon of the Cleveland Browns has been suspended for the entire 2014 NFL season. Josh was the leading receiver in the entire league last year. A major talent. Alas, he got busted, again, on a positive drug test. Gordon said he was disappointed that the league office didn't show more discretion and better judgment regarding his appeal of such suspension. Josh needs to do two things. One is shut up.

Hey, he's only been in the NFL since 2012, and he already got popped once before for substance abuse. Throw in a DUI along the way and second positive test, and what did he think was going to happen? Roger Goodell and company are clamping down hard on such "offenses" these days. Everybody knows that. BTW, the other thing Gordon needs to do is quit smoking weed. Recreational use is fine in Colorado and Washington for average citizens, but the NFL sees things a bit differently amongst their own. If Gordon gets popped a third time -- he can pretty well kiss his butt goodbye in the NFL. He has to make a choice between millions of dollars and smoking dope. They appear to be mutually exclusive in the modern day professional sports world. Decisions, decisions.

Still can't figure out those Cialis commercials. Evidently, this is another wonder drug to enhance the male libido. Thought about trying it but one thing holds me back. According to the ads -- to fully appreciate the effects -- one has to lug his and her matching bath tubs to a beach somewhere. First, besides the expense, I have no idea how to pull that off, no pun intended. And second, if you and your significant other are lying naked in a couple bath tubs on a public beach -- chances are real good you're going to wind up in jail. There are those that don't exactly approve of such behavior. Yet I'd bet a couple bath tubs would be a first for impound lots.

Really dumb things dept.

Point spreads, and those that bet on them, for NFL preseason games. See the lowly Oakland Raiders smoking the defending Super Bowl champ Seattle Seahawks.

Josh Shaw (what is it with these Joshes?) of USC, who incurred two sprained ankles, basking in the role of a hero for saving his nephew from supposedly drowning, while all along it was a lie. Did he not think he would eventually be exposed? Now he's suspended indefinitely, as well he should be. Going to the press and public selling a lie is the purview of slick politicians -- not college football players. That never works anymore.

After the KC Royals went 21-6 to put the Detroit Tigers a few games behind them in the central division of the AL -- rookie Tiger manager Brad Ausmus saying if KC goes 21-6 again during September, they would be tough to catch. Well, no kidding Brad. I wonder if he studied under Yogi, or maybe Sparky.

The Detroit Lions open the 2014 season with a Monday night game at home against the not-so-good NY Giants. It will be sold out. The Honolulu blue and silver faithful will be at a fever pitch, both in the stadium and around TVs in the metro Detroit area, be it at sports bars or at home.

We've got major talent and this is the year we finally rise to glory, they will thunder. Playoffs here we come and with a few breaks, maybe even the Super Bowl.

And that's not just dumb -- it's delusional. Like the Lions over the years, William Shakespeare's play A Comedy Of Errors has had many different actors playing the same roles. But no matter how many times one watches it, the script never changes. A farce is meant to be a farce.

No comments:

Post a Comment