Thursday, August 28, 2014

The talking head epidemic

While watching a pre-season game on the NFL network, the trailer across the bottom of the screen delivered an astounding news flash. Evidently, during the regular season, a panel of four (or was that five?) comprised of ex-players/coaches and, of course, the usual talking head moderator, would be providing 4 hour pre-game shows. To which I say....

You gotta be defecating me. 4 HOURS??? They could make a documentary chronicling the entire history of the NFL that took up the same amount of time. To make matters even worse, another panel of "experts" would come on post-game for two more hours of highlights, analysis, and even MORE blather.

Good grief. Games themselves only last 3, maybe 3 and a half hours. If you watch the game(s), you know what happened. Do we really need a panel of talking heads to tell us about what we just watched for 2 more hours?

To be fair, with the recent explosion of niche sports channels, a good thing for couch taters, pizza joints, and the beer industry, they have to show SOMETHING. And granted, audio is usually a good thing to go along with those 50 inch hi-def flat screens. (I recently bought one. When the picture first came up, the feeling reminded me of getting my driver's license, or what happened a few hours after the senior prom. Needless to say -- a very pleasant sensation. Throw in a dynamite surround-sound system in the man cave, and yours truly can watch the games in style.)

Also granted, I can tater it up with the best, or worst of them on occasion, depending on what else is going on -- or not.

But if anyone ever gets to the point where they devote 4 hours to a pre-game show, then another 2 hours of post-game with talking heads rambling on -- then drastic measures need to be taken. They should be dragged, kicking and screaming, away from their panoramas, Bose speakers, and made to do a few hours of community service. A game is one thing, but anybody that would watch 6 more hours of talking heads blathering on before and after it obviously has way too much time on their hands. Some of it could be better spent elsewhere for the good of mankind.

This could even become a national security issue. Listening to talking sports heads 10 hours a day is enough to make anybody snap eventually. And who knows what havoc such crazed people might wreak on the public?

My advice? Tune into the game about 15 minutes after they say it's going to start. That's when it really does start. The talking heads will eat up the first 15 minutes telling you how great it's going to be. Along with a few commercials, of course.

And when it's over, either click on another channel or go do something else.

All the rest, before and after, is nothing but worthless chatter.

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