Friday, December 11, 2015

Idle thoughts and who cares?

You know those blue tablets you can put in the water tank of your toilet? Miracle flush or whatever? Don't bother. Even an idiot like me figured it out. All those things do is turn the water blue to hide what always goes on. After a month's worth of flushes when the water finally clears again, you're still going to have a seriously stained toilet to scrub. Been there, done that. Who's kidding who?

The Montreal Canadiens currently sit atop the league in points. This is big news in Quebec. But in America where the vast majority of NHL teams reside, 95% of sports fans couldn't care less. This is football season -- dammit. The colleges are gearing up for their annual bowl extravaganza, their Final Four has yet to shoot it out to decide a champion, and the NFL is in the home stretch of their regular season. January will be glorious when the NFL playoffs begin again. So who cares about hockey right now?

Same with basketball. The colleges haven't even begun conference play yet. We'll be bombarded by the "rankings" every week, but who cares? Nothing matters until the NCAA tournament starts, and that's a few months off.

The NBA has exactly one relevant story going on. The Golden State Warriors winning streak. Can they break the record? Other than that, who cares about pro basketball? Wake me up when the playoffs start in the spring, and we'll start sorting out who's who in the pecking order. We haven't even got into serious winter yet.

It's almost comical how major league baseball teams have been hyping their recent acquisitions through trades. Every team seems to be a winner. They will tell you so. They got exactly the right players to fill certain shortcomings, while giving up little in return. Thing is, it also defies logic, not to mention the universal law of sports physics.

For every winner, there has to be a loser. But all these teams will gear up shortly for their "promotional" tours in their home states to show off their latest multimillionaire super-heroes. Look out World Series, here we come. And BTW, come on down to the ball park to watch us play in a few months. We've got gourmet food, the finest of brews, comfortable seating, and great ticket prices. This can all be yours, and you can catch up on that missed house payment later. What could be more exciting than that? Such a deal.

In reality, this doesn't even rise to the "who cares? level. Going to a major league baseball game in the spring is nothing short of having NO life elsewhere. So much to do and things to be enjoyed. A baseball game to help pay the ridiculous salaries these clowns routinely haul down -- as in a million bucks a start for a pitcher with a losing record that only actually plays maybe 5 times a month? Really? If you just have to, watch it on TV. Buy a 12 pack of beer, 12 pack of pop, order up a couple large pizzas with different toppings -- and the average family of four can enjoy the same baseball game in the comfort of their own home. No muss, no fuss, plus not miss a house payment to fight their way through the nightmare of parking and into the ballpark to find their seats, where about one out of every five fans in attendance is a certifiable nut job anyway.

This is atmosphere?  And further hope their vehicle is still there, or at least not missing too many parts when they finally return to it. Then good luck with the traffic as the thousands of other mostly drunken revelers jog for position in the parking lot, then hit the highway all around them.

Yes, yours truly has been to many games over the decades in all the major sports. How many I have no idea. Likely in the hundreds. Bleachers, end zones, nosebleed section, waited through rain delays, and froze my butt off in blizzards. Occasionally I coughed up enough bucks or had a connection to get good seats. Right behind a dugout. Courtside. A long time friend and season ticket holder couldn't make the game so I got a couple spots right behind the glass at a hockey game. Corporate level at the 50 yard line from a lady I used to date that had a very rich daddy. Fond memories indeed. Sat in a luxury suite once, but never did figure out the fascination, much less the price tag that came with such arrangements. Yes, it came with a lot of amenities, but one had to have binoculars to actually see what was going on down on the field. You're there to watch the game -- right? So what's the point in paying big money to sit way up in high-falootin nose bleed section to watch the ants scurry around far below? Never did understand that.

Of course the media will always hawk their local teams. Go see them live and in person. Yet one must remember they get in for free, are afforded the best of seats in the press box, and most of their whims are catered to. It's not like they're paying for food and drink. That's complimentary. Even if it wasn't, they'd surely either charge it on some sort of employer offered expense account, or at the very least write it off on their taxes as a working expense. Average fans don't have those options. A difference, with a bit of hypocrisy thrown in. Do as they say, but you have to pay for it and they don't. But it's the nature of the beasts and who cares? Just see it for what it is.

Uh oh. My significant other got off work and just walked in. Timeout.....

Well OK then. I feel much better, and she left to go home with a smile. These are good things. Very good things.

Now where was I? Idle thoughts? Who cares?

But I'm still going to have to scrub that damned toilet tomorrow..,.....

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