Fan night? For who?

It was quite the busy day. After accepting my Presidential Medal of Freedom from BO, straightening out that little dust-up in the Middle East once and for all, snorkeling with Nessie in her Loch, and knocking out that pesky Irishman Conor McGregor in 4 seconds flat -- I finally made my way home for some well-deserved R & R.

What better way to relax than to nuke some lasagna leftovers, pop a cold one, and watch some hoops on TV? Better yet, the cable station said it was "fan night". Cool. Must be something special in the works. Then again, isn't every night supposed to be fan night? I mean, where would the games be if nobody attended or watched?

It was the Atlanta Hawks visiting the Golden State Warriors. But then things took a decided turn for the worse.

Steph Curry wouldn't be playing due to a minor injury. Nor would Andre Iguodala. That likely took a little fun out of the fans' experience at Oracle Arena in Oakland -- as well as the viewers watching it on TV.

The uniforms of both teams seemed perplexing. It was Los Warriors against Los Hawks. Evidently, the NBA is trying to cater to their hordes of Latino fans. That is -- if they HAD hordes of Latino fans -- which they don't. So what's the point in the espanol uniforms? It's bad enough we have to listen to that nonsense every time we call a customer service number. Who's running this country anyway?

A quick Google search revealed that Oracle Arena, home of the Warriors, ranks 26th out of the 30 NBA teams in home attendance so far this year. That seems odd. Aren't these guys the defending champs? And haven't they posted by far the best record in the entire league to date? Granted, the city of Oakland (I've been there a few times) more closely resembles an armpit than a posh tourist destination, but they and their basketball team aren't doing themselves any favors with these south of the border come-ons. It's likely a pretty safe bet to say the amigos, hombres and senoritas headed north -- and Oakland's quite a ways north -- as in several hundred miles -- aren't making the trek to watch a basketball game they can't afford to get into in the first place. So on "fan night", what gives with the Spanish unis? It's a slap in the face to the vast majority of American hoops fans as well.

Of course watching a game on TV means there's going to be commercials. Lots of them. Some are clever, others pitch worthwhile products, but some are just insulting.

Enter Lebron Raymone James. He would have us believe he drives around in a Kia. Please. The dude's making over $20 million a year playing basketball alone. No NBA player would be caught dead tooling around town in a Kia, let alone one at the max end of the pay scale. It's reminiscent of the old commercials when Wilt Chamberlain -- all 7 foot 1 of him -- was cramming himself into a VW Beetle. Again -- pah-leeze. What fool would believe such nonsense?

But I suppose there's another way of looking at it. Once upon a time, the late James Brown was dubbed the "King of Soul".

Seeing as how Kias are a South Korean export, perhaps Lebron James could now be rightfully called the "King of Seoul".

C'mon Raymone. You make your colossal dough every year courtesy of the American people. If you just have to hawk a car for more money that you obviously don't need -- how about a Chevy or a Ford? Cadillac's probably off the table any more. Once their execs saw your phony Kia bit, chances are they wouldn't even consider talking to you.

At least somebody still has some class in this country. Lord knows, the Presidential wannabes abandoned decorum and threw themselves into a mud-wrestling pit long ago.

Perhaps I'll go back on the road in the near future and rightfully slap them all silly until they come to their senses. Or at least tell the truth.

But that's a job for another day. Trying to keep up with and comprehend this NBA fan day nonsense has flat wore me out.

For now, yours truly grows weary and needs a little rest. I'll return the Pope's calls later.

And if he starts up with that esperanto gibberish again, I'm clicking him too.