Thursday, March 24, 2016

The Bonehead Files. Lebron James

So Lebron Raymone James says he would even take a pay cut to be able to play with the likes of Carmelo Anthony and Chris Paul -- eh? Welcome to the Bonehead Files LRJ. Let us count the reasons why.

1) By a pay cut, does he mean he might actually settle for a paltry $20 million instead of the $24 he's making this year? Gee, what a trooper. Give that man a medal and let's all have a good cry over the poor dear having to eat ramen noodles trying to get by on such a pitiful wage. (His vast array of lucrative endorsements are another matter we won't even bother to get into).

2) In order for this unholy trinity to come together, at least two of the players would have to change teams. The chances of that happening are likely about the same as Jeb Bush roaring back from the scrapheap to capture the Presidency in November. Or the Detroit Lions winning the Super Bowl. Let's just say the odds are not good.

3) An Ohio native, and hated when he originally left the Cavs to win a couple championships in Miami, all was pretty much forgiven when he went back. I mean, c'mon, the guy got a couple rings, but always remained a home boy at heart. Even the Heat faithful -- bless their leathery skinned hearts -- understood that. It was the one move Lebron James could make and not catch a lot of flak for. He wanted to win a championship for his "home" team, which he had failed to do in his first go-round.

4) Thing is -- what of Carmelo and Chris? No way would Anthony leave the Big Apple. Sure, the Knicks are no good, but he likes the high-life of NYC and his wife and kids have become, ahem, accustomed to such a lifestyle. Does anybody think for a second Melo would "take his talents" to CLEVELAND, of all places? Not a chance. There's a big difference between his significant other and adorable offspring enjoying Times Square as opposed to taking in the breathtaking sights on the shores of Lake Erie. He'd probably find himself in divorce court within a couple months. Good luck with THAT.

5) Same with Chris Paul of the LA Clippers. True, despite all the hype and stupid TV commercials, the Clips remain second class citizens in the NBA. This is quite evident by their record this year. While they've gone an impressive 45-11 against average or sub-par teams, the Clippers are a woeful 2-12 against the upper echelon teams. (See Cleveland, Toronto, Okla City, San Antonio, and those pesky Golden State Warriors.) At that, though CP might not be the brightest star in the universe, it's likely a safe assumption even HE still has enough functioning neurons to realize life in general is a whole lot more exciting in LA-LA land than it would be in Buckeye country. Hey, if one is destined to not win a championship either way, which town would YOU rather live in? Warm climate year-round or getting pounded by howling winds and feet of snow in the winter? Movies stars or zebra mussels? That ain't gonna happen either.

6) If Lebron James were to relocate to either NYC or LA, (he'll be a free agent next year) he would be publicly held up to ridicule, perhaps Kardashian style, for caring more about fame than substance.

Lebron Raymone James has so far been a person/athlete to admire. Long happily married to his wife, kids, and not even a whisper of any sort of scandal all along the way. Sadly, such a thing is almost a rarity in big time pro sports these days. Yet most of us understand he valiantly tried to win a championship in Cleveland originally -- saw that it wasn't going to happen -- and went to Miami to hook up with Wade and Bosh to get to the mountaintop. Twice. We also understand his going back to Cleveland and trying again later in his career. Last time yours truly looked, the Cavs had the best record in the NBA east, and few would bet against them making it to the Finals again this year. Whether they can win a 7 game series once there -- well -- that's a whole different animal. We'll see. Maybe.

But for Lebron to even mention the possibility, much less his desire to somehow wind up on the same team as Carmelo Anthony and Chris Paul is utter nonsense. For the reasons listed above -- it's a virtual impossibility. A pipe dream at best.

He's still a good dude, but for creating a media sensation with such a remark, the otherwise honorable Lebron Raymone James has earned himself a place in the Bonehead Files. That was dumb, bro.

And speaking of crazy dreams -- if it has anything to do with a certain "pipe" --  quit it. From what I hear, that stuff will make one loonier than Steve Ballmer at a Clips basketball game or -- OMG -- Detroit Lions' season ticket holders that keep re-upping at higher prices. These are true definitions of insanity indeed.

Just keep playing for the Cavs and hope things work out.

No comments:

Post a Comment