Thursday, March 24, 2016

Red Wings, Kevorkian, and paranoia

You just knew it was going to happen, because it does every year. Somewhere, in some town, in some sport, some "homer" scribe will attempt to put the fans on "red alert". This typically happens when a team might not make the playoffs.

[Sometimes this is referred to as "jeopardy", though I'm fairly certain Alex Trebek couldn't care less. The Canadian is always much too busy trying to show off his fluent French on an American game show to be bothered with such stick, ball, and puck trivia.]

This time around it would appear to be the Detroit Red Wings causing such a stir. They've made the playoffs a whopping 24 years in a row -- but might not this year. It's going to be close. Never mind they haven't even made it to the Stanley Cup semi-finals since some guy named Obama was a rookie President -- and are at best an average team this year --  OMG perish the thought they might not qualify for the post-season. (Let's also ignore the fact that fully half the teams in the NHL make it to the playoffs every year. A team has to be pretty bad NOT to.)

Per usual in a situation like this, some scribes are urging the masses to be scared -- very scared. As in---

It's time to sound the alarm.
Push the panic button.
And with apologies to Neil Diamond, pack up the babies, grab the old ladies and head for Brother Love's travelling paranoia show.

Idle thought: Why do so many black athletes have different last names than their mothers and siblings?

Yessiree, the media has always tried to scare the wits out of the gullible public with their inane propositions of doom. Harken back to the "old days".....

Once upon a time, school kids had to participate in nuclear war drills. Clang, clang, clang would go the bells, and the little Leave it to Beaverites would dutifully line up in the hall, sit down with their backs to the wall, and pull their knees up to their chins with heads bowed between their legs. Hey, if one of those "Commie" nukes -- that could start falling any second -- happened to hit in the neighborhood -- what difference did such stupid drills hope to make? Vaporized is vaporized. If they were going to take the kids out of class, why not let their last living moment on Earth be of frolicking on the playground? People built "bomb shelters", my own grandparents included. Lots of canned goods and a few gallons of water. Problem was -- there's a little thing called "air" that was also necessary for survival. And where there was air given such an incident, it would be highly radioactive and kill them anyway. A total waste of time and money. So what was the point? It was just more media gibberish designed to make the masses behave as good little droids. Did I mention we're always supposed to be scared of ghosts and goblins for our own "safety"? Maybe they should throw in dragons, werewolves, and vampires as well. And you never know where and when that pesky Godzilla might show up again to wreak havoc. It's always something.

Now, of all things, it's the Detroit Red Wings. There's a possibility they might not make the playoffs. HORRORS!!!

To which yours truly says -- who cares? If they make it -- fine. If they don't -- that's fine too. Contrary to the doomsday scenario some scribes are pitching again, the Wings failing to make the post-season would rank right up there in the whole scheme of importance with an already filthy rich politician losing an election. Who cares? We're talking about a billionaire owner and millionaire players missing out on a few extra playoff bucks. Average people should go into a state of panic at the mere possibility? Please. We have more important matters to deal with, like paying bills that we can't afford, especially after paying the exorbitant prices to even attend a playoff game or two.

The scribes get in for free on press passes, so it's easy for them to "sound the alarm". But they don't really care. When hockey season is done they'll move on to whatever other story they can sensationalize in the world of sports to the masses. It's not their fault. It's in their DNA and it's what they do. Like cable news channel talking heads blathering on about the latest disaster somewhere in the world -- it's always about the hype. Americans are supposed to be terrified because some airport in Belgium got bombed? Really? Do you think the Russians, Chinese, anybody in South America or Africa gives a rat's behind? They have their own problems.

In a perfect world, these people would have a conscience and suffer the same pain they attempt to inflict on their viewing and reading audiences. If they're THAT alarmed, they should be gobbling Xanax like M&Ms. Or if "all is lost", go to a seance and consult the ghost of Jack Kevorkian to put them out of their misery.

But in the meantime, excuse me if I don't buy into panic mode -- however it works out. It's a game. Out of all the teams, there will only be one champion this year in each team sport. And next year it will start all over again with more re-tooled hype. This is, and has never been, a big deal. Who's kidding who?

Let the paranoid fear-mongers march out into the hall with their heads between their knees. The rest of us have more important things to concern ourselves with.

Always did, actually. Some people eventually figure it out -- and some never will.

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