Bosox, Dodgers, and dumb umps

My boss, sometimes known as an editor, used to often tell me remaining impartial is always a good idea. Then I think he finally gave up. I was hopeless. So I'm not. Never have been. Ain't gonna be anytime soon either.

I like most everything about Boston, including the Red Sox.

I dislike most everything about Los Angeles, including the Dodgers.

So there.

Obviously, I have a favorite in this year's World Series. Big time.

Hence, it is with no small amount of joy to find the Red Sox leading the dastardly Dodgers two games to none in this year's Fall Classic.

Better yet, the Bosox have knocked off LA's two best starting pitchers. Clayton Kershaw and Hyun-Jin Ryu. True, they still have Walker Buehler, no slouch, waiting in the wings. But the Sox got by with aging pitcher David Price, long a post-season liability, in Game Two. They have recent Cy Young winner Rick Porcello on deck.

Though it's a tad premature, I, for one, don't think the Dodgers can beat Boston the necessary four of the remaining five to come out on top. The Bosox were far and away the best team in the Major Leagues this year for a reason. They're flat-out good. Loaded. Also confident right about now, as the series heads west to LA LA Land.

I'm also sick and tired of a few things LA related. Magic Johnson, for one. He's a part owner of the Dodgers, so that only adds to my distaste for them.

I've had it with Manny Machado's dirty play on the field, while continuing to feign innocence. And every time I see Yasiel Puig, the Cuban hot dog lucky to even BE in the country, wag his tongue like some sort of retarded basset hound, I want to see a small bird fly into his gaping arrogant mouth. And take a dump while there.

Here's something yours truly has never quite understood. What's the deal with two extra umpires being added for post-season games? You've seen them. They're stationed down the left and right field foul lines. Given Major League Baseball is a multi-billion dollar industry, if these guys were necessary why doesn't the league deploy them in regular season games? It's not like they can't afford them. Aren't they equally important? After all, one blown call (which costs a team a single game) can make the difference between whether they make it into the playoffs in the first place. (See the tie-breakers that had to be played this year).

But that's not the point. All the "line" umps have to do is turn around when a ball is hit over their head down the line and determine whether it was fair or foul. A simple enough job. Even an idiot like me could do it.

Thing is, this is nothing the first and third base umpires couldn't do, like they have to throughout the season. The "line" umps are typically only 20-30 feet behind them.

But wait a second, you say? It's absolutely imperative to get such calls right in the playoffs, much less the World Series?

Indeed it is. But when one considers how many cameras are trained on every play from different angles and the availability of super slo-mo hi-def replays to sort it out correctly by supposedly neutral folks in a booth somewhere, it's dang near impossible to get it wrong. It's either fair or foul. Not that tough of a call in the first place.

These guys are unnecessary baggage. For show only.

In the end, here's to the Bosox. Luv ya. And boo-hiss to anything Los Angeles.

As for the above-mentioned Porcello, the likely starter in Game 3 on Friday?

Give em the heater, Rickey.

Sorry. Couldn't help it. Loved that movie.