Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Finger licking good

Auburn won the so-called national championship. They went undefeated and hurray for them. Are they the best college football team in the country? Beats me. The Horned Frogs of TCU, yikes, whatta name, can claim the same thing. Without any playoffs, there's no definitive answer, but the people running the BCS are getting rich and don't care.
The Auburn Tigers vs the Oregon Ducks was a foregone conclusion anyway. Forget the trick plays and misdirections. When it's speedy little guys against speedy bigger guys, over the course of a whole game, the big guys win. And whoever heard of a duck whipping a tiger?
Thing is, I'm sick of the "almighty" southeastern conference (SEC). If it's not Alabama this, it's Florida that, with an occasional LSU thrown in. They might have huge student populations and good ole boy boosters with deep pockets, but I'm not so sure how bright they are. No other conference is dopey enough to have 2 teams with the same name (Tigers).
Then again, the Big Ten's no better. They can't even seem to count. It was 10, been 11 for a lot of years, now going on 12, but they're still stuck on 10. If this is the best their braintrust can do, I would not recommend schools from this conference if you're an aspiring math major. 
But if two teams had the same name, it might get interesting. Can you imagine the Illinois Fighting -- Boilermakers? If you were in Champagne, of all places, watching a game at a sports bar -- what should you drink? If the waitress set a bottle of Miller Golden Draft on the bar, should you Gopher it? Would someone Badger you? A Buckeye's some sort of tree with a disagreeable odor and funny looking fruit; a Nittany Lion sounds like a 4-legged grandma that churns out those wool sweaters twice as fast as mine used to. Well.. you get it.     
Closer to home, yeah, there's no wolverines in Michigan except at the zoo and the original Spartans became extinct a couple thousand years ago, due to routs from superior forces.
But back to the SEC. Forget about football or any other sports, for that matter. They have one redeeming quality that makes them tolerable. Something came out of there that has not only affected our lives, but has spread across the world.
The Colonel's secret 11 herbs and spices, and I really don't care if he got the count right or not. Works for me once in a while.

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