Sunday, June 19, 2011

The most interesting man in the world

No, it's not that guy on TV advertising a foreign beer, that looks like he might start drooling any second. And contrary to what she may think, Hillary's never been all that. So who is it? Martin Sheen? Justin Bieber? Alfred E. Neuman? Brandon Inge? Anybody that's a lifetime .230 hitter and makes upwards of 5 million bucks a year must have SOMETHING going on besides tats on his forearms.

It just might be Rory McIlroy, the barely 22 year old northern Irishman that's tearing up the US Open. 14 under after 3 rounds of play? That's not only a record, it's incredible. Open courses are set up to be extremely difficult. In years past, the best players in the world, and even the eventual champion couldn't even break par.

Golf purists might sniff and say, yes, but the rough isn't as deep. Maybe not, but besides the usual assortment of sand traps, water hazards, and undulating greens, try 7500+ yards on for size. Those same purists could hit the best drive of their life, followed by the best fairway wood of their life, and maybe, just maybe, they'd get to the green on some of the par 4's on this course. Did I mention the sand traps and water that surround them?

Is McIlroy the most interesting man in the world? In some ways. Consider: He likely makes Phil Mickelson wish Tiger was playing. He's a whopping 21 shots behind the Irish kid heading into the final round. Even Eldrick at his finest never pulled that off.

As I write this late on Sat night before the final round, yes, I remember he choked bad the last time he was in this position on Sun. Don't think it will happen this time. If it does, send sports editor Jeff Kuehn an email about what an idiot I am. He likes that sort of feedback.

At any rate, back to the most interesting man in the world. Tiger used to be. All the pressure of the cameras, microphones, money, fame, and even umpteen different women never fazed him. Once he got married, his golfing career started to slowly swirl around and head downward, like pushing the lever on a certain bathroom facility.

Here's hoping McIlroy avoids that pitfall, and here's REALLY hoping he stays away from that beer the slobbery guy advertises. I got into that stuff once and woke up next to an ugly woman. Still don't know what happened.

Pound the ball, not the bimbos. Drain the putts, not the pints, and above all ----

Stay single, my friend.

PS. On a personal note, I hope the Irish kid wins this thing. Why? Because maybe then Irish Charlie will finally buy a round at the Gridiron. Hmmm. Nah, probably not, but miracles have been known to happen.


  1. The next time I fall in love and thinking about marriage, I'm just going to buy her a house and a car and tell her to get lost. Anyway, Vespers instead of Pints. They at least they come with a prayer.

  2. Back to the Rolling Stones. Everyone playing the U.S.Open must have been thinking, I can't no satisfaction. Well, except for The most interesting man in the world.

  3. Whoops ! I can't get no satisfaction.

  4. To the Rolling Stoner. If my source is correct -- you get to go home to K, while I'm stuck with a couple yorkies, writing this stupid blog, and YOU can't get any satisfaction?

    Puh-leeze. LOL. JL