Friday, June 3, 2011

A wacko's look at Dallas vs Miami

As you know, Dallas and Miami are tied 1-1 in the NBA finals. I predicted Miami would win it all several weeks ago, and still think that way, but Dallas has this nasty habit of roaring back from double-digit deficits in the 4th quarter to win games. To pull that off in Miami, giving the Heat their first home-court loss of the playoffs, was very impressive.

But who has the advantages and why? Let's look at some maybe not so hypothetical comparisons and demographics.

The home towns. "Big D" vs "Little Havana". The land of the "north forty" vs the land of "South Beach". Rednecks vs. red snapper. I'll call that even.

A grizzled old coach that was a former player, has been around the league in various capacities for decades, and probably lists 7 or 8 Celtics in his Top Ten Best Ever list, goes up against a young pretty-boy that few had ever heard of before this year, that might well list a few Kardashians in his Top Ten. Advantage -- Griz.

There's Old School vs Nu-Skool that can be broken down into even more categories.

Older fans are probably rooting for the Mavs. The younger ones -- the Heat. Working for years to earn it vs instant gratification. See Dirk vs :Lebron.

Texas yee-ha, vs Miami hip-hop.

Saloons vs nightclubs.

Beer vs umbrella drinks.

Steaks vs sushi.

Tornadoes vs hurricanes.

Horses vs alligators.

Pick-ups vs Beemers.

Rope vs dope.

"Sweet" spreads vs street "creds".

Though it might put me on the horns of a dilemma, Lou Gossett Jr. once said something about steers and queers in a movie. Perhaps I should leave it at that, before I get gored. No, he's the new owner of the Pistons. How did they get into this dialogue?

In this hypothetical world, I can even talk about possible racial preferences. The most recognizable faces of the Mavs are Kidd and Novitzki, who happen to be white guys. James, Wade, and Bosh, the Big 3, for the most part, represent the Heat. They happen to be black guys. Deny it all you want, but some people actually base loyalties on such folly.

Yet, they have things in common. A guy named Bush was once the governor of both states. They both have the death penalty and frequently use it. And it can get unmercifully hot in either location during the summer.

But something about this match-up goes against the logical forces of the universe. It has to do with the owners. A guy named Micky Arison owns the Heat. Micky sounds like a good-ole boy name. He'd probably get along just fine in Texas.

A guy named Mark Cuban owns the Mavs. Need I say more?

Somehow that's just wrong.

So who am I rooting for?

The Canucks. Love that name.


  1. Steers and queers? You're no officer or gentleman. Good points, tho.

  2. What's your name - Brave Bull. And not even castrated. Certainly have some big ones. Keep grazing, the stories are great. You're probably lucky no one knows where you have Vespers.

  3. Interesting moniker, been to divorce court,and opinions vary. I'll keep grazing if you keep gazing. Vespers is currently a private matter. I'd have to consult with my spiritual leader before going public with such a thing.